pleased with himself, and the agreeable | Allusions to past follies, hints which revive man makes his friends enjoy themselves, what a man has a mind to forget for ever, rather than him, while he is in their com- and desires that all the rest of the world pany. Callisthenes does this with inimita- should, are commonly brought forth even ble pleasantry. He whispered a friend the in company of men of distinction. They do other day, so as to be overheard by a young not thrust with the skill of fencers, but cut officer, who gave symptoms of cocking upon up with the barbarity of butchers. It is, the company, That gentleman has very methinks, below the character of men of much the air of a general officer.' The humanity and good manners to be capable youth immediately put on a composed be- of mirth while there is any of the company haviour, and behaved himself suitably to in pain and disorder. They who have the the conceptions he believed the company true taste of conversation, enjoy themselves had of him. It is to be allowed that Cal-in communication of each other's excellisthenes will make a man run into imper-lencies, and not in a triumph over their tinent relations to his own advantage, and imperfections. Fortius would have been express the satisfaction he has in his own dear self, till he is very ridiculous: but in this case the man is made a fool by his own consent, and not exposed as such whether he will or no. I take it, therefore, that to make raillery agreeable, a man must either not know he is rallied, or think never the worse of himself if he sees he is.

reckoned a wit, if there had never been a fool in the world: he wants not foils to be a beauty, but has that natural pleasure in observing perfection in others, that his own faults are overlooked out of gratitude by all his acquaintance.

After these several characters of men who succeed or fail in raillery, it may not Acetus is of a quite contrary genius, and is be amiss to reflect a little farther what one more generally admired than Callisthenes, takes to be the most agreeable kind of it; but not with justice. Acetus has no regard and that to me appears when the satire is to the modesty or weakness of the person directed against vice, with an air of conhe rallies; but if his quality or humility tempt of the fault, but no ill-will to the gives him any superiority to the man he criminal. Mr. Congreve's Doris is a masterwould fall upon, he has no mercy in mak-piece of this kind. It is the character of a ing the onset. He can be pleased to see his best friends out of countenance, while the laugh is loud in his own applause. His raillery always puts the company into little divisions and separate interests, while that of Callisthenes cements it, and makes every man not only better pleased with himself, but also with all the rest in the conversation.

To rally well, it is absolutely necessary that kindness must run through all you say; and you must ever preserve the character of a friend to support your pretensions to be free with a man. Acetus ought to be banished human society, because he raises his mirth upon giving pain to the person upon whom he is pleasant. Nothing but the malevolence which is too general towards those who excel could make his company tolerated; but they with whom he converses are sure to see some man sa

woman utterly abandoned; but her impu-
dence, by the finest piece of raillery, is
made only generosity.

'Peculiar therefore is her way,
Whether by nature taught
I shall not undertake to say,
Or by experience bought;

For who o'ernight obtain'd her grace,
She can next day disown,
And stare upon the strange man's face,
As one she ne'er had known.

'So well she can the truth disguise,
Such artful wonder frame,
The lover or distrusts his eyes,

Or thinks 'twas all a dream.

Some censure this as lewd or low,
Who are to bounty blind;
But to forget what we bestow,
Bespeaks a noble mind.'

crificed wherever he is admitted; and all No. 423.] Saturday, July 5, 1712.
the credit he has for wit is owing to the
gratification it gives to other men's ill-na-
ture.

-Nuper idoneus.

Once fit myself.

T.

Hor. Od. xxvi. Lib. 3. 1.

Minutius has a wit that conciliates a man's love, at the same time that it is ex- I LOOK upon myself as a kind of guardian erted against his faults. He has an art of to the fair, and am always watchful to obkeeping the person he rallies in counte- serve any thing which concerns their internance, by insinuating that he himself is est. The present paper shall be employed guilty of the same imperfection. This he in the service of a very fine young woman; does with so much address, that he seems and the admonitions I give her may not be rather to bewail himself, than fall upon his unuseful to the rest of her sex. Gloriana friend. shall be the name of the heroine in to-day's It is really monstrous to see how unac-entertainment; and when I have told you countably it prevails among men, to take that she is rich, witty, young, and beautithe liberty of displeasing each other. One ful, you will believe she does not want adwould think sometimes that the conten-mirers. She has had, since she came to tion is, who shall be most disagreeable. town, about twenty-five of those lovers who

made their addresses by way of jointure | to you the other day was a contrivance to and settlement: these come and go with remark your resentment. When you saw great indifference on both sides; and as the billet subscribed Damon, and turned beautiful as she is, a line in a deed has had away with a scornful air, and cried "imexception enough against it to outweigh the pertinence!" you gave hopes to him that lustre of her eyes, the readiness of her un- shuns you, without mortifying him that derstanding, and the merit of her general languishes for you. character. But among the crowd of such What I am concerned for, madam, is, cool adorers, she has two who are very that in the disposal of your heart, you assiduous in their attendance. There is should know what you are doing, and ex something so extraordinary and artful in amine it before it is lost. Strephon contratheir manner of application, that I think it dicts you in discourse with the civility of but common justice to alarm her in it. I one who has a value for you, but gives up have done it in the following letter: nothing like one that loves you. This seem ing unconcern gives his behaviour the advantage of sincerity, and insensibly obtains your good opinion by appearing disinterested in the purchase of it. If you watch these correspondents hereafter, you will find that Strephon makes his visit of civility immediately after Damon has tired you with one of love. Though you are very discreet, you will find it no easy matter to escape the toils so well laid; as, when one studies to be disagreeable in passion, the other to be pleasing without it. All the turns of your temper are carefully watched, and their quick and faithful intelligence gives your lovers irresistible advantage. You will please, madam, to be upon your guard, and take all the necessary precautions against one who is amiable to you before you know he is enamoured. I am, madam, your most obedient servant.'

·

'MADAM,-I have for some time taken notice of two young gentlemen who attend you in all public places, both of whom have also easy access to you at your own house. The matter is adjusted between them; and Damon, who so passionately addresses you, has no design upon you; but Strephon, who seems to be indifferent to you, is the man who is, as they have settled it, to have you. The plot was laid over a bottle of wine; and Strephon, when he first thought of you, proposed to Damon to be his rival. The manner of his breaking of it to him, I was so placed at a tavern, that I could not avoid hearing."Damon," said he, with a deep sigh, "I have long languished for that miracle of beauty, Gloriana; and if you will be very steadfastly my rival, I shall certainly obtain her. Do not, continued he, "be offended at this overture; for I go upon the knowledge of the temper Strephon makes great progress in this of the woman, rather than any vanity that lady's good graces; for most women being I should profit by any opposition of your actuated by some little spirit of pride and pretensions to those of your humble ser- contradiction, he has the good effects of vant. Gloriana has very good sense, a both those motives by this covert way of quick relish of the satisfactions of life, and courtship. He received a message yesterwill not give herself, as the crowd of wo-day from Damon in the following words, men do, to the arms of a man to whom she superscribed With speed.' is indifferent. As she is a sensible woman, expressions of rapture and adoration will not move her neither; but he that has her must be the object of her desire, not her pity. The way to this end I take to be, that a man's general conduct should be agreeable, without addressing in particular to the woman he loves. Now, sir, if you will be so kind as to sigh and die for Gloriana, I will carry it with great respect towards her, but seem void of any thoughts as a lover. By this means I shall be in the most amiable light of which I am capable; I shall be received with freedom, you with reserve." Damon who has himself no designs of marriage at all, easily fell into the scheme; and you may observe, that wherever you are, Damon appears also. You see he carries on an unaffected exactness in his dress and manner, and strives always to be the very contrary of Strephon. They have already succeeded so far, that your eyes are ever in search of Strephon, and turn themselves of course from Damon. They meet and compare notes upon your carriage; and the letter which was brought

'All goes well; she is very angry at me, and I dare say hates me in earnest. It is a good time to visit. Yours.'

The comparison of Strephon's gaiety to Damon's languishment strikes her imagination with a prospect of very agreeable hours with such a man as the former, and abhorrence of the insipid prospect with one like the latter. To know when a lady is displeased with another, is to know the best time of advancing yourself. This method of two persons playing into each other's hand is so dangerous, that I cannot tell how a woman could be able to withstand such a siege. The condition of Gloriana I am afraid is irretrievable; for Strephon has had so many opportunities of pleasing without suspicion, that all which is left for her to do is to bring him, now she is advised, to an explanation of his passion, and beginning again, if she can conquer the kind sentiments she has conceived for him. When one shows himself a creature to be avoided, the other proper to be fled to for succour, they have the whole woman be

tween them, and can occasionally rebound her love and hatred from one to the other, in such a manner as to keep her at a distance from all the rest of the world, and cast lots for the conquest.

N. B. I have many other secrets which concern the empire of love; but I consider, that, while I alarm my women, I instruct T.

my men.

No. 424.] Monday, July 7, 1712.
Est Ulubris, animus si te non deficit æquus.

Hor. Ep. xi. Lib. 1. 30.

'Tis not the place disgust or pleasure brings: From our own mind our satisfaction springs.

'London, June 24.

'MR. SPECTATOR,-A man who has it in his power to choose his own company, would certainly be much to blame, should he not, to the best of his judgment, take such as are of a temper most suitable to his own; and where that choice is wanting, or where a man is mistaken in his choice, and yet under a necessity of continuing in the same company, it will certainly be his interest to carry himself as easily as possible.

with which he treats his neighbours, and every one, even the meanest of his own family! and yet how seldom imitated! Instead of which we commonly meet with ill-natured expostulations, noise, and chidings.-And this I hinted, because the humour and disposition of the head is what chiefly influences all the other parts of a family.

'An agreement and kind correspondence between friends and acquaintance is the greatest pleasure of life. This is an undoubted truth; and yet any man who judges from the practice of the world will be almost persuaded to believe the contrary; for how can we suppose people should be so industrious to make themselves uneasy? What can engage them to entertain and foment jealousies of one another upon every or the least occasion? Yet so it is, there are people who (as it should seem) delight in being troublesome and vexatious, who (as Tully speaks) Mira sunt alacritate ad litigandum, have a certain cheerfulness in wrangling." And thus it happens, that there are very few families in which there are not feuds and animosities; though it is every one's interest, there more particularly, to avoid them, because there (as I In this I am sensible I do but repeat would willingly hope) no one gives another what has been said a thousand times, at uneasiness without feeling some share of which however I think nobody has any it. But I am gone beyond what I designed, title to take exception, but they who never and had almost forgot what I chiefly profailed to put this in practice.-Not to use posed: which was, barely to tell you how any longer preface, this being the season hardly we, who pass most of our time in of the year in which great numbers of all town, dispense with a long vacation in the sorts of people retire from this place of country, how uneasy we grow to ourselves, business and pleasure to country solitude, and to one another, when our conversation I think it not improper to advise them to is confined; insomuch that, by Michaeltake with them as great a stock of good-mas, it is odds but we come to downright humour as they can; for though a country life is described as the most pleasant of all others, and though it may in truth be so, yet it is so only to those who know how to enjoy leisure and retirement.

As for those who cannot live without the constant helps of business or company, let them consider, that in the country there is no Exchange, there are no playhouses, no variety of coffee-houses, nor many of those other amusements which serve here as so many reliefs from the repeated occurrences in their own families; but that there the greatest part of their time must be spent within themselves, and consequently it behoves them to consider how agreeable it will be to them before they leave this dear town.

'I remember, Mr. Spectator, we were very well entertained last year with the advices you gave us from Sir Roger's country-seat; which I the rather mention, because it is almost impossible not to live pleasantly, where the master of the family is such a one as you there describe your friend, who cannot therefore (I mean as to his domestic character,) be too often recommended to the imitation of others. How amiable is that affability and benevolence

squabbling, and make as free with one another to our faces as we do with the rest of the world behind their backs. After I have told you this, I am to desire that you would now and then give us a lesson of good-humour, a family-piece, which, since we are all very fond of you, I hope may have some influence upon us.

'After these plain observations, give me leave to give you a hint of what a set of company of my acquaintance, who are now gone into the country, and have the use of an absent nobleman's seat, have settled among themselves, to avoid the inconve niences above mentioned. They are a collection of ten or twelve of the same good inclination towards each other, but of very different talents and inclinations: from hence they hope that the variety of their tempers will only create variety of pleasures. But as there always will arise, among the same people, either for want of diversity of objects, or the like causes, a certain satiety, which may grow into ill-humour or discontent, there is a large wing of the house which they design to employ in the nature of an infirmary. Whoever says a peevish thing, or acts any thing which betrays a sourness or indisposition to company, is im

mediately to be conveyed to his chambers | with as much light as was necessary to disin the infirmary; from whence he is not to cover a thousand pleasing objects, and at be relieved, till by his manner of submis- the same time divested of all power of heat. sion, and the sentiments expressed in his The reflection of it in the water, the fanpetition for that purpose, he appears to the ning of the wind rustling on the leaves, the majority of the company to be again fit for singing of the thrush and nightingale, and LF society. You are to understand, that all the coolness of the walks, all conspired to ill-natured words or uneasy gestures are make me lay aside all displeasing thoughts, sufficient cause for banishment; speaking and brought me into such a tranquillity of impatiently to servants, making a man re- mind, as is, I believe, the next happiness peat what he says, or any thing that betrays to that of hereafter. In this sweet retireinattention or dishumour, are also criminal ment I naturally fell into the repetition of without reprieve. But it is provided, that some lines out of a poem of Milton's, which whoever observes the ill-natured fit coming he entitles Il Penseroso, the ideas of which upon himself, and voluntarily retires, shall were exquisitely suited to my present wanbe received at his return from the infirmary derings of thought. af with the highest marks of esteem. By these and other wholesome methods, it is expected that if they cannot cure one another, yet at least they have taken care that the ill-humour of one shall not be troublesome to the rest of the company. There are many other rules which the society have established for the preservation of their ease and tranquillity, the effects of which, with the incidents that arise among them, shall be communicated to you from time to time, for the public good, by, sir, your most humble servant, R. O.'

T.

MR. SPECTATOR,-There is hardly any thing gives me a more sensible delight than the enjoyment of a cool still evening after the uneasiness of a hot sultry day. Such a one I passed not long ago, which made me rejoice when the hour was come for the sun to set, that I might enjoy the freshness of the evening in my garden, which then affords me the pleasantest hours I pass in the whole four and twenty. I immediately rose from my couch, and went down into it. You descend at first by twelve stone steps into a large square divided into four grassplots, in each of which is a statue of white marble. This is separated from a large parterre by a low wall; and from thence, through a pair of iron gates, you are led into a long broad walk of the finest turf, set on each side with tall yews, and on either hand bordered by a canal, which on the right divides the walk from a wilderness parted into variety of alleys and arbours, and on the left from a kind of amphitheatre, which is the receptacle of a great number of oranges and myrtles. The moon shone bright, and seemed then most agreeably to supply the place of the sun, obliging me

"Sweet bird! that shunn'st the noise of folly,
Most musical! most melancholy!
Thee, chantress, oft, the woods among,
I woo to hear thy ev'ning song:
And missing thee I walk unseen
On the dry smooth-shaven green,
To behold the wand'ring moon,
Riding near her highest noon,

Like one that hath been led astray,
Through the heaven's wide pathless way,
And oft, as if her head she bow'd,
Stooping through a fleecy cloud.

"Then let some strange mysterious dream
Wave with its wings in airy stream
Of lively portraiture display'd
Softly on my eyelids laid:

And as I wake, sweet music breathe

Above, about, or underneath,

Sent by spirits to mortals' good,

Or the unseen genius of the wood."

'I reflected then upon the sweet vicissitudes of night and day, on the charming disposition of the seasons, and their return again in a perpetual circle: and oh! said I, that I could from these my declining years return again to my first spring of youth and vigour; but that, alas! is impossible; all that remains within my power is to soften the inconveniences I feel; with an easy contented mind, and the enjoyment of such delights as this solitude affords me. In this thought I sat me down on a bank of flowers, and dropt into a slumber, which, whether it were the effect of fumes and vapours, or my present thoughts, I know not; but methought the genius of the garden stood before me, and introduced into the walk where I lay this drama and different scenes of the revolution of the year, which, whilst I then saw, even in my dream, I resolved to write down, and send to the Spectator.

'The first person whom I saw advancing towards me was a youth of a most beautiful air and shape, though he seemed not yet arrived at that exact proportion and symmetry of parts which a little more time would have given him; but, however, there was such a bloom in his countenance, such satisfaction and joy, that I thought it the most desirable form that I had ever seen. He was clothed in a flowing mantle of green silk, interwoven with flowers; he had a chaplet of roses on his head, and a narcissus in his hand; primroses and violets sprang up under his feet, and all nature was cheered at his approach. Flora was on one hand,

and Vertumnus on the other, in a robe of | faint, whilst for half the steps he took, the changeable silk. After this I was surprised dog-star levelled his rays full at his head. to see the moon-beams reflected with a sud- They passed on, and made way for a perden glare from armour, and to see a man son that seemed to bend a little under the completely armed, advancing with his weight of years; his beard and hair, which sword drawn. I was soon informed by the were full grown, were composed of an equal genius it was Mars, who had long usurped number of black and gray; he wore a robe a place among the attendants of the Spring. which he had girt round him, of a yellowish He made way for a softer appearance. It cast, not unlike the colour of fallen leaves, was Venus, without any ornament but her which he walked upon. I thought he hardly own beauties, not so much as her own ces- made amends for expelling the foregoing tus, with which she had encompassed a scene by the large quantity of fruits which globe, which she held in her right hand, he bore in his hands. Plenty walked by his and in her left hand she had a sceptre of side with a healthy fresh countenance, gold. After her followed the Graces, with pouring out from a horn all the various pro arms entwined within one another; their ducts of the year. Pomona followed with a girdles were loosed, and they moved to the glass of cider in her hand, with Bacchus in sound of soft music, striking the ground a chariot drawn by tigers, accompanied by alternately with their feet. Then came up a whole troop of satyrs, fauns, and sylvans. the three Months which belong to this sea- | September, who came next, seemed in his son. As March advanced towards me, looks to promise a new Spring, and wore there was, methought in his look a lower- the livery of those months. The succeeding ing roughness, which ill-befitted a month month was all soiled with the juice of which was ranked in so soft a season; but grapes, as he had just come from the wineas he came forwards, his features became press. November, though he was in this insensibly more mild and gentle; he smooth- division, yet, by the many stops he made, ed his brow, and looked with so sweet a seemed rather inclined to the Winter which countenance, that I could not but lament followed close at his heels. He advanced in his departure, though he made way for the shape of an old man in the extremity April. He appeared in the greatest gaiety of age; the hair he had was so very white, imaginable, and had a thousand pleasures it seemed a real snow; his eyes were red to attend him: his look was frequently and piercing, and his beard hung with great clouded, but immediately returned to its first quantity of icicles; he was wrapt up in furs, composure, and remained fixed in a smile. but yet so pinched with excess of cold, that Then came May, attended by Cupid, with his limbs were all contracted, and his body his bow strung, and in a posture to let fly bent to the ground, so that he could not an arrow: as he passed by, methought I have supported himself had it not been for heard a confused noise of soft complaints, Comus, the god of revels, and Necessity, gentle ecstacies, and tender sighs of lovers; the mother of Fate, who sustained him on vows of constancy, and as many complain- each side. The shape and mantle of Comus ings of perfidiousness; all which the winds was one of the things that most surprised wafted away as soon as they had reached me: as he advanced towards me, his counmy hearing. After these I saw a man ad- tenance seemed the most desirable I had vance in the full prime and vigour of his ever seen. On the fore part of his mantle age; his complexion was sanguine and was pictured joy, delight, and satisfaction, ruddy, his hair black, and fell down in with a thousand emblems of merriment, beautiful ringlets beneath his shoulders; a and jests with faces looking two ways at mantle of hair-coloured silk hung loosely once; but as he passed from me I was upon him: he advanced with a hasty step amazed at a shape so little correspondent after the Spring, and sought out the shade to his face: his head was bald, and all the and cool fountains which played in the gar- rest of his limbs appeared old and deformed. den. He was particularly well pleased On the hinder part of his mantle was rewhen a troop of Zephyrs fanned him with presented Murder with dishevelled hair their wings. He had two companions, who and a dagger all bloody, Anger in a robe of walked on each side, that made him appear scarlet, and Suspicion squinting with both the most agreeable; the one was Aurora eyes; but above all, the most conspicuous with figures of roses, and her feet dewy, was the battle of Lapithe and the Centaurs attired in gray; the other was Vesper, in a I detested so hideous a shape, and turned robe of azure beset with drops of gold, my eyes upon Saturn, who was stealing whose breath he caught while it passed away behind him, with a scythe in one over a bundle of honeysuckles and tuberoses hand and an hour-glass in the other, unobwhich he held in his hand. Pan and Ceres served. Behind Necessity was Vesta, the followed them with four reapers, who goddess of fire, with a lamp that was perdanced a morrice to the sound of oaten-pipes petually supplied with oil, and whose flame and cymbals. Then came the attendant was eternal. She cheered the rugged brow Months. June retained still some small of Necessity, and warmed her so far as allikeness of the Spring; but the other two seemed to step with a less vigorous tread, especially August, who seemed almost to

The English are branded, perhaps unjustly, with being addicted to suicide about this time of the year.