clining to depart from home; and will not doubt but, as your motive in defiring my attendance was to make me an happier man, when you think that will not be effected by my remove, you will permit me to stay where I amn. Those who have an ambition to appear in courts, have either an opinion that their perions or their talents are particularly formed for the fervice or ornament of that place; or else are hurried by downright defire of gain, or what they call honour, to take upon themselves what ever the generosity of their mafter can give them opportunities to grafp at. But your goodnets fhall not be thus impofed upon by me: I will therefore confefs to you, that frequent folitude, and long converfation, with fuch who know no arts which polish life, have made me the plameft creature in your dominions. Thofe lefs capacities of moving with a good grace, bearing a ready affability to all around me, and acting with eafe before many, have quite left me.

I am come to that, with regard to my perfon, that I confider it only as a machine I am obliged to take care of, in order to enjoy my foul in it's faculties with alacrity; well remember ing, that this habitation of clay will in a few years be a meaner piece of earth than any utenfil about my houfe. When this is, as it really is, the most frequent reflection I have, you will eafily imagine how well I should become a drawing-room: add to this, what shall a man without defires do about the generous Pharamond? Monfieur Eucrate has hinted to me, that you have thoughts of distinguishing me with titles. As for myself, in the temper of my present mind, appellations of honour would but embarrals difcourfe, and new behaviour towards me perplex me in every habi. tude of life. I am alfo to acknowledge to you, that my children, of whom your Majefty condefcended to inquire, are all of them mean, both in their perfons and genius. The eitate my eldest fon is her to, is more than he can enjoy with a good grace. My felf love will not carry me fo far as to impofe upon mankind the advancement of perfons (merely for their being related to me) into high distinctions, who ought for their own fakes, as well as that of the public, to affect obscurity. I with, my generous prince, as it is in your power to give honours and offices, it were alfo

to give talents suitable to them: were it fo, the noble Pharamond would reward the zeal of my youth with abilities to do him fervice in my age.

Thofe who accept of favour without merit, fupport themselves in it at the expence of your Majefty. Give me leave to tell you, Sir, this is the reafon that we in the country hear so often repeated the word Prerogative. That part of your law which is referved in yourfelf for the readier fervice and good of the public, flight men are eternally buzzing in our ears to cover their own follies and miscarriages. It would be an addition to the high favour you have done me, if you would let Eucrate fend me word how often, and in what cafes you allow a conftable to infift upon the prerogative. From the highett to the lowest officer in your dominions, fomething of their own carriage they would exempt from examination under the fhelter of the word Prerogative. I would fain, moft noble Pharamond, fee one of your officers affert your prerogative by good and gracious actions. When is it used to help the afflicted, to rescue the innocent, to comfort the stranger? Uncommon methods, apparently undertaken to attain worthy ends, would never make power invidious. You fee, Sir, I talk to you with the freedom your noble nature approves in all whom you admit to your converfation.

But, to return to your Majefty's letter, I humbly conceive, that all diftinctions are useful to men, only as they are to act in public and it would be a romantic madness, for a man to be a lord in his closet. Nothing can be honourable to a man apart from the world, but the reflection upon worthy actions; and he that places honour in a confcioufnefs of well-doing, will have but little relifh for any outward homage that is paid him, fince what gives him diftinction to himself, cannot come within the obfervation of his beholders. Thus all the words of Lordship, Honour, and Grace, are only repetitions to a man that the King has ordered him to be called fo; but no evidences that there is any thing in himfelf that would give the man, who applies to him, thofe ideas, without the creation of his master.

I have, most noble Pharamond, all honours and all titles in your own approba tion; I triumph in them as they are your gift, I refufe them as they are to give

me

Need not tell with what disadvantages men of low fortunes and great modelty come into the world; what wrong measures their diffidence of themfelves, and fear of offending, often obliges them to take; and what a pity it is that their greatest virtues and qualities, that thould fooneft recommend them, are the main obftacle in the way of their preferment.

This, Sir, is my cafe; I was bred at a country school, where I learned Latin and Greek. The misfortunes of my family forced me up to town, where a

profeffion of the politer fort has protected me againft infamy and want. I am now clerk to a lawyer, and in times of vacancy and recefs from business, have made myself master of Italian and French; and though the progrefs I have made in my bufinefs has gained me reputation enough for one of my standing, yet my mind fuggefts to me every day, that it is not upon that foundation I am to build my fortune.

The perfon I have my prefent dependence upon, has it in his nature, as well as in his power, to advance me, by recommending me to a gentleman that is going beyond fea in a public employment. I know the printing this letter would point me out to those I want confidence to speak to, and I hope it is not in your power to refufe making any body happy. Yours, &c.

SEPTEMBER 9,

1712.

M. D.

ACRES PROCURRUNT

HOR. SAT. VII. L. I. VER.19.

IT T is fometimes pleafant enough to confider the different notions which different perfons have of the fame thing. If men of low condition very often fet a value on things, which are not prized by thofe who are in a higher station of life, there are many things these esteem which are in no value among perfons of an inferior rank. Common people are, in particular, very much aftonished, when they hear of thofe folemn contefts and debates, which are made among the great upon the punctilios of a public ceremony; and wonder to hear that any business of confequence should be retarded by thofe little circumftances, which they reprefent to themselves as trifling and infignificant. I am mightily pleafed with a porter's decifion in one of Mr. Southern's plays, which is founded upon that fine diftrefs of a virtuous woman's marrying a fecond hufband, while her first was yet living. The first husband, who was supposed to

have been dead, returning to his house after a long abfence, raises a noble perplexity for the tragic part of the play. In the mean while, the nurse and the porter conferring upon the difficulties that would ensue in such a cafe, honeft Samson thinks the matter may be easily decided, and folves it very judiciously, by the old proverb, that if his first mafter be ftill living, The man must have

his mare again. There is nothing in my time which has fo much furprifed and confounded the greatest part of my honest countrymen, as the prefent controverfy between Count Rechtern and Monfieur Mefnager, which employs the wife heads of fo many nations, and holds all the affairs of Europe in fuspence.

1

Upon my going into a coffee-houfe yesterday, and lending an ear to the next table, which was encompaffed with a circle of inferior, politicians, one of them, after having read over the news

very attentively, broke out into the following remarks. I am afraid,' says he, this unhappy rupture between the footmen at Utrecht will retard the peace of Chriftendorn. I with the Pope may not be at the bottom of it. His Holiness has a very good hand at ⚫ fomenting a divifion, as the poor Swifs • Cantons have lately experienced to their coft. If Monfieur What d'ye call him's domeftics will not come to an accommodation, I do not know how the quarrel can be ended, but by a religious war.",

Why truly, fays a wifeacre that fat by him, were I as the King of • France, I would fcorn to take part with the footmen of either fide: here's all the bufinefs of Europe ftands ftill, ⚫ because Monfieur Mefi ager's man has had his head broke. If Count Rectrum had given them a pot of ale after it, all would have been well, without any of this bustle; but they say he's a warm man, and does not care to be

• made mouths at.'

Upon this, one, that had held his tongue hitherto, began to exert himself; declaring, that he was very well pleafed the plenipotentiaries of our Chriftian princes took this matter into their ferious confideration; for that lackeys were never fo fancy and pragmatical as they are now a days; and that he fhould be glad to fee them taken down in the treaty of peace, if it might be done without prejudice to the public affairs.

One who fat at the other end of the table, and feemed to be in the interests of the French King, told them, that they did not take the matter right, for that his Moft Chriftian Majefty did not refent this matter because it was an injury done to Monfieur Mefnager's footmen; For,' fays he, what are Mon

feur Mefnager's footmen to him? • but because it was done to his fub•jects. Now, fays he, let me tell 4 you, it would look very odd for a fub⚫ject of France to have a bloody nofe, and his fovereign not to take notice of ⚫it. He is obliged in honour to defend his people againit hoftilities; and if the Dutch will be fo infolent to a ⚫ crowned head, as, in any wife, to ⚫ cuff or kick thofe who are under his protection, I think he is in the right

to call them to an account for it.' Tais diftinétion fet the controversy

upon a new foot, and feemed to be very well approved by moft that heard it, until a little warm fellow, who declared himself a friend to the house of Auftria, fell moft unmercifully upon his Gallic Majefty, as encouraging his fubje 23 to make mouths at their betters, and afterwards fkreening them from the punishment that was due to their infolence. To which he added, that the French nation was fo addicted to grimace, that if there was not a top put to it at the general congrefs, there would be no walking the streets for them in a time of peace, especially if they continued mafters of the West Indies. The little man proceeded with a great deal of warmth, declaring, that if the ailies were of his mind, he would oblige the French King to burn his ga lies, and I tolerate the Proteftant religion in his dominions, before he would fheath his fword. He concluded with calling Monfieur Mefnager an infignificant prig

The dispute was now growing very warm, and one does not know where it would have ended, had not a young man of about one and twenty, who feems to have been brought up with an eye to the law, taken the debate into his hand, and given it as his opinion, that neither Count Rechteren nor Monfieur Mefnager had behaved themselves right in this affair.

Count Rechteren,' fays he, fhould have made affidavit that his fervants had been affronted, and then Monfieur Mefnager would have • done him juftice, by taking away their liveries from them, or fome other way that he might have thought the mott proper; for, let me tell you, if a man inakes a mouth at me, I am not to 'knock the teeth out of it for his pains. Then again, as for Monfieur Mel

nager, upon his fervants being beaten, why, he might have had his action of 'affault and battery. But as the cafe now stands, if you will have my opi nion, I think they ought to bring it to referees.'

I heard a great deal more of this con. ference, but I must confefs with little edification; for all I could learn at laft from thefe honeft gentlemen, was, that the matter in debate was of too high a nature for fuch heads as theirs, or mine, to comprehend.

N

WH

H

LUCR. L. 111. VER. 11.

HEN I have published any fingle paper that falls in with the popular taft, and pleases more than ordinary, it always brings me in a great return of letters. My Tuefday's difcourfe, wherein I gave feveral admonitions to the fraternity of the Henperked, has already produced me very many correfponde ts; the reafon I cannot quefs, unless it be that fuch a difcourfe is of general ufe, and every married man's money. An honest tradefman, who dates his letter from Cheapfide, fends me thanks in the name of a club, who, he tells me, meet as often as their wives will give them leave, and fay together till they are fent for home. He informs me, that my paper has administered great confolation to their whole club, and defires me to give fome further account of Socrates, and to acquaint them in whofe reign he lived, whether he was a citizen or a courtier, whether he buried Xantippe, with many other particulars for that by his fay ings he appears to have been a very wife man and a good Chriftian. Another, who writes himself Benjamin Bamboo, tells me, that being coupled with a threw, he had endeavoured to tame her by fuch lawful means as thofe which I mentioned in my laft Tuesday's paper, and that in his wrath he had often gone farther than Bracton allows in thofe cafes; but that for the future he was refolved to bear it like a man of temper and learning, and confider her only as one who lives in his house to teach him phitofophy. Tom Dapperwit fays, that he agrees with me in that whole difcourfe, excepting only the laft fentence, where I affirm the married ftate to be either a heaven or a hell. Tom has been at the charge of a penny upon this occafion, to tell me, that by his expenence it is neither one nor the other, but rather the middle kind of ftate, commonly known by the name of Purga

tory.

The fair fex have likewife obliged

CREECH.

me with their reflections upon the fame difcourfe. A lady, who calls herself Euterpe, and feems a woman of letters, afks me whether I am for establishing the Salic law in every family, and why it is not fit that a woman who has difcretion and learning fhould fit at the helm, when the husband is weak and illiterate? Another, of a quite contrary character, fubfcribes hertelf Xantippe, and tells me, that the follows the example of her namesake; for being married to a bookish man, who has no knowledge of the world, the is forced to take their affairs into her own hands,and to fpirit him up now and then, that he may not grow muity, and unfit for : converfation.

After this abridgment of fome letters which are come to my hands upon this occafion, I fhall publish one of them at large.

MR. SPECTATOR,

YOU have given us a lively picture

of that kind of husband who comes under the denomination of the Henpecked; but I do not remember that you.. have ever touched upon one. that is of.. the quite different character, and who, in feveral places of England, goes by.. the name of a Cot Quean. I have the misfortune to be joined for life with one of this character, who in reality is more a woman than I am. He was bred up under the tuition of a tender mother. tili fhe had made him as good a houfewife as herfelf. He could preserve apricots, and make jellies, before he had been two years out of the nursery. He was never fuffered to go abroad, for fear of catching cold: when he should have been hunting down a buck, he was by his mother's fide learning how to feafon it, or put it in cruft; and, was making paper boats with his filters, at an age when other young gentlemen.se croffing the feas, or travelling into foreign countries. He has the whitett hand that you ever faw in your life, and

raises pafte better than any woman in England. Thefe qualifications make him a fad husband: he is perpetually in the kitchen, and has a thousand fquabbles with the cook-maid. He is better acquainted with the milk fcore than his fteward's accounts. I fret to death when I hear him find fault with a difh that is not dreffed to his liking, and instructing his friends that dine with him in the best pickle for a walnut or fauce for an haunch of venifon. With all, this, he is a very good-natured husband, and never fell out with me in his life

but once, upon the over-roafting of a difh of wild fowl: at the fame time I must own, I would rather he was a man of a rough temper, that would treat me harthly fometimes, than of such an effeminate buy nature in a province that does not belong to him: Since you have given us the character of a wife who wears the breeches, pray say something of a husband that wears the petticoat. Why fhould not a female character be as ridiculous in a man, as a male character in one of our fex? I am, &c. O

Wast of uncharitablene's, than

E cannot be guilty of a greater

to interpret the afflictions wh ch befal our neighbours, as punishments and judgments. It aggravates the evil to him who fuffers, when he looks upon bimfelf as the mark of Divine vengeance, and abates the compaffion of thofe towards him, who regard nun in fo dreadful a light. This humour of turning every misfortune into a judgment, proceeds from wrong notions of religion, which, in it's own nature, produces good-will towards men, and puts the mildett conftruction upon every accident that befals them. In this cafe, therefore, it is not religion that fours a man's temper, but it is his temper that fours his religion: people of gloomy unchearful imaginations, or of envious malignant tempers, whatever kind of life they are engaged in, will difcover their natural tincture of mind in all their thoughts, words, and actions. As the fineft wines have often the taste of the foil, fo even the most religious thoughts often draw fomething that is particular from the conftitution of the mind in which they arife. When folly or fuperftition strike in with this natural depra. vity of temper, it is not in the power, even of religion itself, to preferve the character of the perfon who is poffeffed with it, from appearing highly abfurd and ridiculous.

ROSCOMMON.

An old maiden gentlewoman, whom I fhall conceal under the name of Nemefis, is the greatest difcoverer of judg ments that I have met with. She can tell you what fin it was that fet fuch a man's houfe on fire, or blew down his barns. Talk to her of an unfortunate young lady that loft her beauty by the finall-pox, the fetches a deep figh, and tells you, that when the had a fine face, fhe was always looking on it in her glass. Tell her of a piece of good fortune that has befallen one of her acquaintance; and the wishes it may profper with her; but her mother ufed one of her nieces very barbaroudly. Her ufual remarks turn upon people who had great estates, but never enjoyed them by reason of fome flaw in their own or their father's behaviour. She can give you the reafon why fuch an one died childlefs: why fuch an one was cut off in the flower of his youth: why fuch an one was unhappy in her marriage: why one broke his leg on fuch a particular spot of ground; and why another was killed with a back-fword, rather than with any other kind of weapon. She has a crime for every misfortune that can befal any of her acquaintance; and when the hears of a robbery that has been made, or a murder that has been committed, enlarges more on the guilt of the fuffering perion, than on that of the thief or af faffin. In short, fhe is fo good a Chrif

tian,