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though the gentlemen on the stage had choice, one of the young lovers very luckily very much contributed to the beauty of the bethought himself of adding a supernume grove, by walking up and down between rary lace to his liveries, which had so good the trees, I must own I was not a little an effect, that he married her the very astonished to see a well-dressed young fel- / week after. low, in a full-bottomed wig, appear in the The usual conversation of ordinary womidst of the sea, and without any visible men very much cherishes this natural weakconcern taking snuff.
ness of being taken with outside and ap"I shall only observe one thing further, pearance. Talk of a new-married couple, in which both dramas agree; which is, that and you immediately hear whether they by the squeak of their voices the heroes of keep their coach and six, or eat in plate. each are eunuchs; and as the wit in both Mention the name of an absent lady, and it pieces is equal, I must prefer the perform- is ten to one but you learn something of her ance of Mr. Powell, because it is in our gown and petticoat. A ball is a great help own language.
to discourse, and a birth-day furnishes conI am, &c.' versation for a twelvemonth after. A fur
below of precious stones, a hat buttoned
with a diamond, a brocade waistcoat or petNo. 15.] Saturday, March, 17, 1710-11,
ticoat, are standing topics. In short, they
consider only the drapery of the species, : Parva leves capiunt animos
and never cast away a thought on those Ovid, Ars Am. i. 159. Light minds are pleased with trifles.
ornaments of the mind that make persons
illustrious in themselves, and useful to · WHEN I was in France, I used to gaze others. When women are thus perpetually with great astonishment at the splendid dazzling one another's imaginations, and equipages, and party-coloured habits, of filling their heads with nothing but colours, that fantastic nation. I was one day in par- it is no wonder that they are more attentive ticular contemplating a lady that sat in a to the superficial parts of life, than the solid coach adorned with gilded Cupids, and and substantial blessings of it. A girl, who finely painted with the loves of Venus and has been trained up in this kind of converAdonis. The coach was drawn by six milk-sation, is in danger of every embroidered white horses, and loaded behind with the coat that comes in her way. A pair of same number of powdered footmen. Just fringed gloves may be her ruin. In a word, before the lady were a couple of beautiful lace and ribands, silver and gold galloons, pages, that were stuck among the harness, with the like glittering gewgaws, are so and by their gay dresses and smiling fea- many lures to women of weak minds and tures, looked like the elder brothers of the low educations, and when artificially dislittle boys that were carved and painted in played, are able to fetch down the most every corner of the coach.
airy coquette from the wildest of her flights The lady was the unfortunate Cleanthe, and rambles. who afterwards gave an occasion to a pretty True happiness is of a retired nature, and melancholy novel. She had, for several an enemy to pomp and noise; it arises, in years, received the addresses of a gentle- the first place from the enjoyment of one's man, whom, after a long and intimate ac- self; and in the next, from the friendship quaintance, she forsook, upon the account and conversation of a few select compaof this shining equipage, which had been nions; it loves shade and solitude, and naoffered to her by one of great riches, but aturally haunts groves and fountains, fields crazy constitution. The circumstances in and meadows: in short, it feels every thing which I saw her, were, it seems, the dis- it wants within itself, and receives no addiguises only of a broken heart, and a kind of tion from multitudes of witnesses and specpageantry to cover distress, for in two tators. On the contrary, false happiness months after, she was carried to her grave loves to be in a crowd, and to draw the with the same pomp and magnificence, be- eyes of the world upon her. She does not ing sent thither partly by the loss of one receive any satisfaction from the applauses lover, and partly by the possession, of an- which she gives herself; but from the adother.
miration which she raises in others. She I have often reflected with myself on this flourishes in courts and palaces, theatres unaccountable humour in womankind, of and assemblies, and has no existence but being smitten with every thing that is showy when she is looked upon. and superficial; and on the numberless evils Aurelia, though a woman of great quality, that befal the sex, from this light fantasti-delights in the privacy of a country life, and cal disposition. I myself remember a young passes away a great part of her time in her lady that was very warmly solicited by a own walks and gardens. Her husband, who couple of importunate rivals, who for seve- is her bosom friend and companion in her ral months together, did all they could to solitudes, has been in love with her ever recommend themselves, by complacency of since he knew her. They both abound with behaviour, and agreeableness of conversa- good sense, consummate virtue, and a mution. At length when the competition was tual esteem ; and are a perpetual entertaindoubtful, and the la ly undetermined in her ment to one another. Their family is under
so regular an economy, in its hours of de- I HAVE received a letter desiring me to votion and repast, employment and diver- be very satirical upon the little muff that sion, that it looks like a little commonwealth is now in fashion; another informs me of a within itself. They often go into company, pair of silver garters buckled below the that they may return with the greater de- knee, that have been lately seen at the light to one another; and sometimes live in Rainbow coffee-house in Fleet-street; a town, not to enjoy it so properly, as to grow third sends me a heavy complaint against weary of it, that they may renew in them- fringed gloves. To be brief, there is scarce selves the relish of a country life. By this an ornament of either sex which one or means they are happy in each other, be-other of my correspondents has not inloved by their children, adored by their veighed against with some bitterness, and servants, and are become the envy, or recommended to my observation. I must, rather the delight of all that know them. therefore, once for all, inform my readers,
How different to this is the life of Fulvia! that it is not my intention to sink the digShe considers her husband as her steward, nity of this my paper, with reflections upon and looks upon discretion and good house- red heels or top-knots, but rather to enter wifery as little domestic virtues, unbecom- into the passions of mankind, and to correct ing a woman of quality. She thinks life lost those depraved sentiments that give birth in her own family, and fancies herself out to all those little extravagancies which apof the world, when she is not in the ring, pear in their outward dress and behaviour. the playhouse, or the drawing-room. She Foppish and fantastic ornaments are only lives in a perpetual motion of body, and indications of vice, not criminal in themrestlessness of thought, and is never easy selves. Extinguish vanity in the mind, and in any one place, when she thinks there is you naturally retrench the little superfluimore company in another. The missing of ties of garniture and equipage. The blos an opera the first night, would be more soms will fall of themselves when the root afflicting to her than the death of a child. that nourishes them is destroyed. She pities all the valuable part of her own I shall, therefore, as I have said, apply sex, and calls every woman of a prudent, my remedies to the first seeds and princimodest, and retired life, a poor-spirited, ples of an affected dress, without descendunpolished creature. What a mortification ing to the dress itself; though at the same would it to be to Fulvia, if she knew that time I must own that I have thought of her setting herself to view is but exposing creating an officer under me, to be entitled, herself, and that she grows contemptible The Censor of small Wares,' and of alby being conspicuous?
lotting him one day in the week for the 'I cannot conclude my paper without ob-execution of such his office. An operator serving, that Virgil has very finely touched of this nature might act under me, with the upon this female passion for dress and same regard as a surgeon to a physician; show, in the character of Camilla; who, the one might be employed in healing those though she seems to have shaken off all blotches and tumours which break out in the other weaknesses of her sex, is still de- the body, while the other is sweetening the scribed as a woman in this particular, The blood, and rectifying the constitution. To poet tells us that after having made a great speak truly, the young people of both sexes slaughter of the enemy, she unfortunately are so wonderfully apt to shoot out into long cast her eye on a Trojan who wore an em- swords or sweeping trains, bushy head broidered tunic, a beautiful coat of mail, dresses or full-bottomed periwig's; with with a mantle of the finest purple, “A several other incumbrances of dress, that golden bow,' says he, hung upon his shoul- they stand in need of being pruned very der; his garment was buckled with a golden frequently, lest they should be oppressed clasp, and his head covered with a helmet with ornaments, and over-run with the luxof the same shining metal.' The Amazon uriance of their habits. I am much in immediately singled out this well-dressed doubt whether I should give the preferwarrior, being seized with a woman's long-ence to a quaker that is trimmed close, and ing for the pretty trappings that he was almost cut to the quick, or to a beau that is adorned with:
loaden with such a redundance of excresTotumque incauta per agmen
cences, I must therefore desire my corFæmineo prædæ et spoliorum ardebat amore. respondents to let me know how they ap
Æn. xi. 782.
prove my project, and whether they think This heedless pursuit after these glitter- the erecting of such a petty censorship may ing trifles, the poet (by a nice concealed not turn to the emolument of the publice moral) represents to have been the destruc- for I would not do any thing of this nature tion of his female hero,
C. rashly and without advice,
There is another set of correspondents to
whom I must address myself in the second No. 16.] Monday, March 19, 1710-11. - place; I mean such as fill their letters with Quid verum atque decens curo et rogo, et omnis in hoc
private scandal, and black accounts of parsum.
Hor. Lib. 1. Ep. i. 11. | ticular persons and families. The world What right, what true, what fit we justly call,
is so full of ill nature, that I have lampoons Let this be all my care-for this is all. Pope. I sent me by people who cannot spell, and
pass or it is the drunkan Shalle
satires composed by those who scarce know | prising story which he does not know how how to write. By the last post in particu-to tell, if he has discovered any epidemica. lar, I received a packet of scandal which vice which has escaped my observation, or is not legible; and have a whole bundle of has heard of any uncommon virtue which letters in women's hands, that are full of he would desire to publish; in short, if he blots and calumnies, insomuch, that when has any materials that can furnish out an I see the name Cælia, Phillis, Pastora, or innocent diversion, I shall promise him my the like, at the bottom of a scrawl, I con- best assistance in the working of them up clude of course, that it brings me some ac- for a public entertainment, count of a fallen virgin, a faithless wife, or This paper my reader will find was inan amorous widow. I must therefore in- tended for an answer to a multitude of corform these my correspondents, that it is respondents; but I hope he will pardon me not my design to be a publisher of intrigues if I single out one of them in particular, and cuckoldoms, or to bring little infamous who has made me so very humble a request, stories out of their present lurking-holes that I cannot forbear complying with it. into broad day-light. If I attack the vicious, I shall only set upon them in a body;
"To the Spectator. and will not be provoked by the worst usage SIR,
March 15, 1710-11. I can receive from others, to make an ex-1 "I'am at present so unfortunate as to ample of any particular criminal. In short have nothing to do but to mind my own I have so much of a drawcansir in me, that business; and therefore beg of you that you I shall pass over a single foe to charge will be pleased to put me into some small whole armies. It is not Lais nor Silenus, post under you. I observe that you have but the harlot and the drunkard, whom I
appointed your printer and publisher to shall endeavour to expose; and shall con- receive letters and advertisements for the sider the crime as it appears in the species, I city of London, and shall think myself very not as it is circumstanced in an individual. much honoured by you, if you will appoint I think it was Caligula, who wished the me to take in letters and advertisements whole city of Rome had but one neck, that for the city of Westminster and duchy of he might behead them at a blow. I shall Lancaster. Though I cannot promise to fill do, out of humanity, what that emperor such an employment with sufficient abili would have done in the cruelty of his tem-ties, I will endeavour to make up with in per, and aim every stroke at a collective dustry and fidelity what I want in parts body of offenders. At the same time I am and genius. very sensible that nothing spreads a paper
I am, Sir, like private calumny and defamation; but : Your most obedient servant, as my speculations are not under this ne
CHARLES LILLIE." cessity, they are not exposed to this temptation.
In the next place I must apply myself to my party correspondents, who are continu
No. 17.] Tuesday, March 20, 1710-11. ally teasing me to take notice of one another's proceedings. How often am I asked | --Tetrum ante omnia vultum. Juv. Sat. x. 191. py both sides, if it is possible for me to be
A visage rough, an unconcerned spectator of the rogueries
Dryden. that are committed by the party which is opposite to him that writes the letter. | SINCE our persons are not of our own About two days since, I was reproached making, when they are such as appear dewith an old Grecian law, that forbids any fective or uncomely, it is, methinks, an man to stand as a neuter, or a looker-on in honest and laudable fortitude to dare to be the divisions of his country. However, as ugly; at least to keep ourselves from being I am very sensible my paper would lose abashed with a consciousness of imperfecits whole effect, should it run out into the tions which we cannot help, and in which outrages of a party, I shall take care to there is no guilt. I would not defend a keep clear of every thing which looks that haggard beau, for passing away much time way. If I can any way assuage private in- at a glass, and giving softness and languishflammations, or allay public ferments, Iing graces to deformity: all I intend is, that shall apply myself to it with my utmost we ought to be contented with our counte. endeavours: but will never let my heart nance and shape, so far as never to give reproach me with having done any thing ourselves an uneasy reflection on that sub towards increasing those feuds and animosi- ject. It is to the ordinary people, who are ties that extinguish religion, deface govern- not accustomed to make very proper rement, and make a nation miserable, marks on any occasion, matter of great jest,
What I have said under the three fore- if a man enters with a prominent pair of going heads will, I am afraid, very much shoulders into an assembly, or is distinretrench the number of my correspondents. guished by an expansion of mouth, or obli I shall therefore acquaint my reader, that quity of aspect. It is happy for a man if he has started any hint which he is not that has any of those oddnesses about him, able to pursue, if he has not with any sur if he can be as merry upon himself, as
others are apt to be upon that occasion. There have arose in this university (long When he can possess himself with such a since you left us without saying any thing) cheerfulness, women and children, who are several of these inferior hebdomadál socieat first frighted at him, will afterwards beties, as the Punning club, the Witty club, as much pleased with him. As it is barba- and, amongst the rest, the Handsome club; rous in others to rally him for natural de- as a burlesque upon which, a certain merry fects, it is extremely agreeable when he species, that seem to have come into the can jest upon himself for them.
world in masquerade, for some years last Madam Maintenon's first husband* was a past have associated themselves together, hero in this kind, and has drawn many plea- and assumed the name of the Ugly club. santries from the irregularity of his shape, This ill-favoured fraternity consists of a which he describes as very much resem- president and twelve fellows; the choice bling the letter Z. He diverts himself like- of which is not confined by patent to any wise by representing to his reader the make particular foundation, (as St. John's men of an engine and pully, with which he used would have the world believe, and have to take off his hat. When there happens therefore erected a separate society within to be any thing ridiculous in a visage, and themselves,) but liberty is left to eiect from the owner of it thinks it an aspect of dig- any school in Great Britain, provided the nity, he must be of very great quality to be candidates be within the rules of the club, exempt from raillery. The best expedient as set forth in a table, entitled, “The Act therefore is to be pleasant upon himself. of Deformity;' a clause or two of which I Prince Harry and Falstaff, in Shakspeare, shall transmit to you. have carried the ridicule upon fat and lean I. That no person whatsoever shall as far as it will go. Falstaff is humour- be admitted without a visible queerity in ously called woolsack, bedpresser and hill his aspect, or peculiar cast of countenance; of flesh; Harry, a starveling an elves-skin, a of which the president and officers for the sheath, a bow-case, and a tuck. There is, in time being are to determine, and the pre several incidents of the conversation be- sident to have the casting voice, tween them, the jest still kept up upon the “II. That a singular regard be had upon person. Great tenderness and sensibility examination, to the gibbosity of the gentlein this point is one of the greatest weak- men that offer themselves as founders' nesses of self-love. For my own part, Ikinsmen; or to the obliquity of their figure, am a little unhappy in the mould of my in what sort soever. face, which is not quite so long as it is 'III. That if the quantity of any man's broad. Whether this might not partly nose be eminently miscalculated, whether arise from my opening my mouth much as to the length or breadth, he shall have seldomer than other people, and by conse- a just pretence to be elected. quence not so much lengthening the fibres Lastly, That if there shall be two or of my visage, I am not at leisure to deter- more competitors for the same vacancy, mine. However it be, I have been often put cæteris paribus, he that has the thickest out of countenance by the shortness of my skin to have the preference. face, and was formerly at great pains of “Every fresh member, upon the first concealing it by wearing a periwig with a night, is to entertain the company with a high fore-top, and letting my beard grow. dish of codfish, and a speech in praise of But now I have thoroughly got over this Æsop, whose portraiture they have in full delicacy, and could be contented with a proportion, or rather disproportion, over much shorter, provided it might qualify the chimney; and their design is, as soon me for a member of the merry club, which as their funds are sufficient, to purchase the the following letter gives me an account of. heads of Thersites, Duns Scotus, Scarron, I have received it from Oxford, and as it Hudibras, and the old gentleman in Oldabounds with the spirit of mirth and good ham, with all the celebrated ill faces of humour, which is natural to that place, I antiquity, as furniture for the club-room. shall set it down word for word as it came “As they have always been professed to me.
admirers of the other sex, so they unani
mously declare that they will give all posMost PROFOUND SIR,
sible encouragement to such as will take Having been very well entertained, in the benefit of the statute, though none yet the last of your speculations that I have have appeared to do it. yet seen, by your specimen upon clubs, The worthy president who is their which I therefore hope you will continue, Í most devoted champion, has lately shown shall take the liberty to furnish you with a me two copies of verses, composed by a brief account of such a one as, perhaps, you gentleman of this society; the first a conhave not seen in all your travels, unless gratulatory ode, inscribed to Mrs. Touchit was your fortune to touch upon some of wood, upon the loss of her two fore-teeth; the woody parts of the African continent, the other a panegyric upon Mrs. Andiin your voyage to or from Grand Cairo. ron's left shoulder. Mrs. Vizard, (he
says) since the small-pox, is grown tolera* The celebrated Paul Scarron, author of the Roman | bly ingly, and a top toast in the club; but I Comique.
never heard him so lavish of his fine things.
as upon old Nell Trot, who constantly offi- make words of their own, which were ericiates at their table; her he even adores tirely foreign to the meaning of the pas and extols as the very counterpart of mo- sages they pretended to translate; theirchief ther Shipton; in short, Nell, (says he) is care being to make the numbers of the one of the extraordinary works of nature; | English verse answer to those of the Ita but as for complexion, shape, and features, lian, that both of them might go to the so valued by others, they are all mere out- same tune, Thus the famous song in Ca side and syinmetry, which is his aversion. milla: Give me leave to add, that the president
'Barbara si t’intendo, &c. is a facetious pleasant gentleman, and never | more so, than when he has got (as he calls
* Barbarous woman, yes, I know your meaning;' them) his dear mummers about him; and which expresses the resentments of an an he often protests it does him good to meet gry lover, was translated into that English a fellow with a right genuine grimace in lamentation: his air (which is so agreeable in the generality of the French nation;) and, as an in
“Frail are a lover's hopes,' &c. stance of his sincerity in this particular, he And it was pleasant enough to see the gave me a sight of a list in his pocket-book most refined persons of the British nation of all this class, who for these five years dying away and languishing to notes that have fallen under his observation, with were filled with a spirit of rage and indighimself at the head of them, and in the nation. It happened also very frequently rear (as one of a promising and improving where the sense was rightly translated, the aspect, Sir,
necessary transposition of words, which 5 Your obliged and humble servant, were drawn out of the phrase of one tongue
: ALEXANDER CARBUNCLE. into that of another, made the music appear "Oxford, March 12, 1710,
very absurd in one tongue that was very natural in the other. I remember an Italian
verse that ran thus, word for word: No. 18.] Wednesday, March 21, 1710-11. L: “And turn'd my rage into pity;'
-Equitis quoque jam migravit ab aure voluptas which the English for rhyme sake transOmnis ad incertos oculos, et gaudia vana.
Hor. Lib. 2. Ep. i. 187. lated,
And into pity turn’d my rage;'
Creech. By this means the soft notes that were It is my design in this paper to deliver
deliver adapted to pity in the Italian, fell upon the down to posterity a faithful account of the
word rage in the English; and the angry Italian opera, and of the gradual progress
sounds that were turned to rage in the oriwhich it has made upon the English stage;.
ginal, were made to express pity in the for there is no question but our great grand
translation. It oftentimes happened, likechildren will be very curious to know the
wise, that the finest notes in the air fell reason why their forefathers used to sit
upon the most insignificant words in the together like an audience of foreigners in
sentence. I have known the word Ana their own country, and to hear whole plays
pursued through the whole gamut, have acted before them in a tongue which they 1
been entertained with many a melodious did not understand.
The, and have heard the most beautiful Arsinoe was the first opera that gave us
graces, quavers, and divisions, bestowed a taste of Italian music. * The great suc
upon Then, For, and From; to the eternal cess this opera met with produced some
honour of our English particles. attempts of forming pieces upon Italian
The next step to our refinement was the plans, which should give a more natural
introducing of Italian actors into our opera; and reasonable entertainment than what
who sung their parts in their own language, can be met with in the elaborate trifles of
at the same time that our countrymen perthat nation. This alarmed the poetasters
formed theirs in our native tongue. The and fiddlers of the town, who were used to
king or hero of the play generally spoke in
Italian, and his slaves answered him in deal in a more ordinary kind of ware; and
"English. The lover frequently made his therefore laid down an established rule,
court, and gained the heart of his princess, which is received as such to this day, That nothing is capable of being well set:
2. in a language which she did not understand.
1 One would have thought it very difficult to to music, that is not nonsense.' This maxim was no sooner received, but
have carried on dialogues after this manner
without an interpreter between the perwe immediately fell to translating the Ita
sons that conversed together; but this was lian operas; and as there was no great danger of hurting the sense of these extra
the state of the English stage for about three
years. ordinary pieces, our authors would often
| At length the audience grew tired of un
derstanding half the opera; and therefore * Arsinoe, queen of Cyprus, an opera, after the Italian manner, by Thomas Clayton. It was first performed
to ease themselves entirely of the fatigue at the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, in 1707.
of thinking, have so ordered it at present,