wrought out the whole Bible in tapestry, and produces matrimony, so it often happens that died in a good old age, after having covered matrimony produces love. three hundred yards of wall in the mansion 'It perhaps requires more virtue to make a house!' good husband or wife than what go to the fiThe premises being considered, I humbly nishing any the most shining character whatsubmit the following proposals to all mothers soever. in Great Britain: 1. That no young virgin whatsoever be allowed to receive the addresses of her first lover, but in a suit of her own embroidering. 2. That before every fresh humble servant, she be obliged to appear with a new stomacher at the least. 3. That no one be actually married until she hath the child-bed pillows, &c ready stitched, as likewise the mantle for the boy quite finished. 'Discretion seems absolutely necessary; and accordingly we find that the best husbands have been most famous for their wisdom. Homer, who hath drawn a perfect pattern of a prudent man, to make it the more complete, hath celebrated him for the just returns of fidelity and truth to his Penelope ; insomuch that he refused the caresses of a goddess for her sake; and, to use the expression of the best of Pagan authors, "Vetulam suam prætulit immortalitati," his old woman was dearer to him than immor These laws, if I mistake not, would effectu-tality. Virtue is the next necessary qualification ally restore the decayed art of needle-work,and make the virgins of Great Britain exceedingly for this domestic character, as it naturally produces constancy and mutual esteem. Thus Brunimble-fingered in their business. There is a memorable custom of the Grecian tus and Porcia were more remarkable for virladies, in this particular, preserved in Homer, tue and affection than any others of the age in which I hope will have a very good effect with which they lived. 'Good-nature is a third necessary ingredient my country-women. A widow, in ancient times, could not, without indecency, receive a second in the marriage state, without which it would husband, until she had woven a shroud for her inevitably sour upon a thousand occasions. deceased lord, or the next of kin to him. Ac- When greatness of mind is joined with this cordingly, the chaste Penelope having, as she thought, lost Ulysses at sea, she employed her time in preparing a winding-sheet for Laertes, the father of her husband. The story of her web being very famous, and yet not sufficiently known in its several circumstances, I shall give it to my reader, as Homer makes one of her wooers relate it. Sweet hope she gave to every youth apart, Thus she. Nor did my friends mistrust the guile : The backward labours of her faithless hand : " MR. SPECTATOR, HAVING in your paper of Monday last published my report on the case of Mrs. Fanny Fickle, wherein I have taken notice, that love comes after marriage; I hope your readers are satisfied of this truth, that as love generally VOL. II. amiable quality it attracts the admiration and esteem of all who behold it. Thus Cæsar, not more remarkable for his fortune and valour than for his humanity, stole into the hearts of the Roman people, when, breaking through the custom, he pronounced an oration at the funeral of his first and best-beloved wife. "Good-nature is insufficient, unless it be steady and uniform, and accompanied with an evenness of temper, which is above all things to be preserved in this friendship contracted for life. A man must be easy within himself before he can be so to his other self. Socrates and Marcus Aurelius are instances of men, who, by the strength of philosophy, having entirely composed their minds, and subdued their passions, are celebrated for good husbands, notwithstanding the first was yoked with Xantippe, and the other with Faustina. If the wedded pair would but habituate themselves for the first year to bear with one another's faults, the difficulty would be pretty well conquered. This mutual sweetness of temper and complacency was finely recommended in the nuptial ceremonies among the heathens, who, when they sacrificed to Juno at that solemnity, always tore out the gall from the eutrails of the victim, and cast it behind the altar. 'I shall conclude this letter with a passage out of Dr. Plot's Natural History of Staffordshire, not only as it will serve to fill up your present paper, but, if I find myself in the humour, may give rise to another; I having by me an old register belonging to the place here under-mentioned. 'Sir Philip de Somerville held the manors of Whichenovre, Scirescot, Ridware, Netherton, and Cowlee, all in the county of Stafford, of the earls of Lancaster, by this memorable service. The said Sir Philip shall find, maintain, and sustain, one bacon-flitch, hanging in his hall at Whichenovre, ready arrayed all times. 48 of the year but in Lent, to be given to every | Hear ye, Sir Philip de Somervile, lord of man or woman married, after the day and the Whichenovre, mayntener and gyver of this ba year of their marriage be past, in form follow-conne; that I A sithe I wedded B my wife, ing." and sithe I had hyr in my kepying, and at my "Whensoever that any one such before nam- wylle, by a year and a day after our mared will come to inquire for the bacon, in their riage, I would not have chaunged for none own person, they shall come to the bailiff, or other; farer ne fowler; richer ne pourer; to the porter of the lordship of Whichenovre, ne for none other deseended of greater lynand shall say to them in the manner as ensueth: age; slepying ne waking, at noo tyme.'Bailiff, or porter, I do you to know, that I And if the seyd B were sole, and I sole, am come for myself to demand one bacon-flyke I would take her to be my wife before all hanging in the hall of the lord of Whichenovre, the wymen of the world, of what condiciafter the form thereunto belonging.' ones soever they be, good or evylle; as help me God and his seyntes, and this flesh and all fleshes. "After which relation, the bailiff or porter shall assign a day to him, upon promise by his faith to return, and with him to bring twain of "And his neighbours shall make oath, that his neighbours. And in the mean time, the they trust verily he hath said truly. And if it said bailiff shall take with him twain of the be found by his neighbours before-named, that freeholders of the lordship of Whichenovre, he be a freeman, there shall be delivered to him and they three shall go to the manor of Rudlow, half a quarter of wheat and a cheese; and if belonging to Robert Knightleye, and there he be a villain he shall have half a quarter of shall summon the aforesaid Knightleye, or his rye without cheese. And then shall Knightbailiff, commanding him to be ready at Whiche- leye, the lord of Rudlow, be called for, to novre the day appointed, at prime of day, with carry all these things tofore rehearsed; and his carriage, that is to say, a horse and a sad- the said corn shall be laid on one horse, and dle, a sack and a pryke, for to convey the said the bacon above it: and he to whom the babacon and corn a journey out of the county of con appertaineth shall ascend upon his horse, Stafford, at his costages. And then the said and shall take the cheese before him, if he bailiff shall, with the said freeholders summon have a horse. And if he have none, the lord all the tenants of the said manor, to be ready of Whichenovre shall cause him to have one at the day appointed at Whichenovre, for to do horse and saddle, to such time as he be passed and perform the services which they owe to the his lordship: and so shall they depart the bacon. And at the day assigned, all such as manor of Whichenovre with the corn and owe services to the bacon shall be ready at the the bacon, tofore him that hath won it, with gate of the manor of Whichenovre, from the trumpets, taborets, and other manner of minsun-rising to noon, attending and awaiting for strelsy. And all the free tenants of Whichthe coming of him who fetcheth the bacon.enovre shall conduct him to be passed the And when he is come, there shall be delivered lordship of Whichenovre. And then shall they to him and his fellows, chaplets, and to all those all return except him to whom appertaineth which shall be there to do their services due to make the carriage and journey without the to the bacon. And they shall lead the said county of Stafford, at the costs of his lord of demandant with trumps and tabors, and other Whichenovre." manner of minstrelsy, to the hall door, where he shall find the lord of Whichenovre, or his steward, ready to deliver the bacon in this man ner: No. 608.] Monday, October 18, 1714. -Perjuria ridet amantum. Ovid Ars Amor. Lib. i. 633. Forgiving with a smile The perjuries that easy maids beguile.-Dryden. 'MR. SPECTATOR, "He shall inquire of him which demandeth the bacon, if he have brought twain of his neighbours with him which must answer, 'they be here ready.' And then the steward shall cause these two neighbours to swear, if the said demandant be a wedded man, or have ACCORDING to my promise I herewith transheen a man wedded; and if since his marriage mit to you a list of several persons, who from one year and a day be past; and if he be a time to time demanded the flitch of bacon of freeman or a villain.t And if his said neigh- Sir Philip de Somervile, and his descendants; bours make an oath that he hath for him all as it is preserved in an ancient manuscript, these three points rehearsed, then shall the under the title of "The Register of Whichebacon be taken down and brought to the hall novre-hall, and of the bacon flitch there maindoor, and shall there be laid upon one half-tained," quarter of wheat, and upon one other of rye. In the beginning of this record is recited And he that demandeth the bacon shall kneel upon his knee, and shall hold his right hand upon a book, which book shall be laid upon the bacon and the corn, and shall make oath in this manner : *There was a similar institution at Dunmow in Essex, for an account of which see Leeland's Itinerary. Villain, in the language of the time, signified a servant or bondman. the law or institution in form, as it is already printed in your last paper: to which are added two bye-laws, as a comment upon the general law, the substance whereof is, that the wife shall take the same oath as the husband, mutatis mutandis, and that the judges shall, as they think meet, interrogate or cross-examine the witnesses. After this proceeds the register in manner following: Aubry de Falstaff, son of Sir John Fal staff, knight, with dame Maude his wife, were ners, and coming in late of nights; are so the first that demanded the bacon, he hav-many several articles which occasioned the ing bribed twain of his father's companions reprobation of some scores of demandants, to swear falsely in his behoof, whereby he whose names are recorded in the aforesaid gained the flitch: but he and his said wife register. in the hall.· falling immediately into a dispute how the said Without enumerating other particular perbacon should be dressed, it was, by order of sons, I shall content myself with observing that the judges, taken from him, and hung up again the sentence pronounced against one Gervase Poacher is, that " he might have had bacon to "Alison, the wife of Stephen Freckle, brought his eggs, if he had not hitherto scolded his wife her said husband along with her, and set forth when they were over-boiled." And the depothe good conditions and behaviour of her con-sition against Dorothy Dolittle runs in these sort, adding withal that she doubted not but he words," that she had so far usurped the dowas ready to attest the like of her, his wife; minion of the coal fire (the stirring whereof whereupon he, the said Stephen, shaking his her husband claimed to himself), that by her head, she turned short upon him, and gave him good-will she never would suffer the poker out a box on the ear. of her band." "Philip de Waverland, having laid his hand upon the book, when the clause, were I sole and she sole,' was rehearsed, found a secret compunction rising in his mind, and stole it off again. I find but two couples in this first century that were successful: the first was a sea-captain and his wife, who since the day of their marriage had not seen one another until the day of the claim. The second was an honest pair in "Richard de Loveless, who was a courtier, the neighbourhood; the husband was a man of and a very well-bred man, being observed to plain good sense, and a peaceable temper; the hesitate at the words after our marriage,' was woman was dumb.' thereupon required to explain himself He replied, by talking very largely of his exact No. 609.] Wednesday, October 20, 1714. "Rejected. "Joceline Jolly, esq. making it appear, by unquestionable testimony, that he and his wife had preserved full and entire affection for the space of the first month, commonly called the honey-moon, he had, in consideration thereof, one rasher bestowed upon him." After this, says the record, many years passed over before any demandant appeared at Whichenovre-ball; insomuch that one would have thought that the whole country were turned Jews, so little was their affection to the flitch of bacon. Farrago libelli. Juv. Sat. i. 86. The miscellaneous subjects of my book. 'MR. SPECTATOR, I HAVE for some time desired to appear in your paper, and have therefore chosen a day* to steal into the Spectator, when I take it for granted you will not have many spare minutes for speculations of your own. As I was the other day walking with an honest country gentleman, he very often was expressing his as tonishment to see the town so mightily crowded with doctors of divinity; upon which I told him he was very much mistaken if he took all those gentlemen he saw in scarfs to be persons of that dignity; for that a young divine, after his first degree in the university, usually comes hither only to show himself; and, on that occasion, is apt to think he is but half equipped with a gown and cassock for his public appearance, if he hath not the additional ornament of a scarf of the first magnitude to entitle him to the appellation of Doctor from his landlady, and the boy at Child's. Now since I know that this piece of garniture is looked upon as a mark of vanity or affectation, as it is made use of among some of the little spruce advenIt is recorded as a sufficient disqualification turers of the town, I should be glad if you of a certain wife, that, speaking of her husband, would give it a place among those extravashe said, "God forgive him." gancies you have justly exposed in several of 'The next couple enrolled had like to bave carried it, if one of the witnesses had not deposed, that dining on a Sunday with the demandant, whose wife had sat below the squire's lady at church, she the said wife dropped some expressions, as if she thought her husband deserved t be knighted; to which he returned a passionate pish! The judges, taking the premises into consideration, declared the aforesaid behaviour to imply an unwarrantable ambition in the wife, and anger in the husband. It is likewise remarkable, that a couple your papers: being very well assured that were rejected upon the deposition of one of their the main body of the clergy, both in the neighbours, that the lady had once told her country and the universities, who are almost husband, that "it was her duty to obey;" to to a man untainted with it, would be very which he replied, "O my dear! you are never well pleased to see this venerable foppery in the wrong!" well exposed. When my patron did me the 'The violent passion of one lady for her honour to take me into his family (for I lap-dog; the turning away of the old house-must own myself of this order), he was maid by another; a tavern bill torn by the wife, and a tailor's by the husband; a quar- * The 20th of October, 1714, was the day of the coronarel about the kissing-crust; spoiling of diu-tion of king George I. From the Hoop. MR. SPECTATOR, 'I am, &c. TOM NIMBLE.' pleased to say he took me as a friend and satisfaction of being praised by her for my companion; and whether he looked upon stratagem. the scarf like the lace and shoulder-knot of a footman, as a badge of servitude and dependence, I do not know, but he was so kind as to leave my wearing of it to my own discretion; and, not having any just The virgins of Great Britain are very title to it from my degrees, I am content much obliged to you for putting them upon to be without the ornament. The privileges such tedious drudgeries in needle-work as of our nobility to keep a certain number were fit only for the Hilpas and the Nilpas of chaplains are undisputed, though perhaps that lived before the flood. Here is a stir innot one in ten of those reverend gentlemen deed with your histories in embroidery, your have any relation to the noble families their groves with shades of silk and streams of moscarfs belong to; the right generally of cre- hair! I would have you to know, that I hope ating all chaplains, except the domestic (where to kill a hundred lovers before the best housethere is one), being nothing more than the wife in England can stitch out a battle; and perquisite of a steward's place, who, if he do not fear but to provide boys and girls much happens to outlive any considerable number faster than your disciples can embroider of his noble masters, shall probably, at one them. I love birds and beasts as well as you, and the same time, have fifty chaplains, all in but am content to fancy them when they are their proper accoutrements, of his own crea- really made. What do you think of gilt lea tion; though perhaps there hath been neither grace nor prayer said in the family since the introduction of the first coronet. .. MR. SPECTATOR, 'I am, &c.' ther for furniture? There is your pretty hangings for your chamber!" and, what is more, our own country is the only place in Europe where work of that kind is tolerably done. Without minding your musty lessons, I am this minute going to St. Paul's church-yard to bespeak a screen and a set of hangings; and am resolved to encourage the manufacture of 'I wish you would write a philosophical paper about natural antipathies, with a word or two concerning the strength of imagina- my country. tion. I can give you a list upon the first notice, of a rational china cup, of an egg that walks upon two legs, and a quart-pot Yours, 'CLEORA.' that sings like a nightingale. There is in No. 610.] Friday, October 22, 1714. Sic, cum transiêrint moi Senece. Thus, when my fleeting days at last, my neighbourhood a very pretty prattling shoulder of veal, that squalls out at the sight of a knife. Then, as for natural antipathies, I know a general officer who was never conquered but by a smothered rabbit; and a wife that domineers over her husband by the help of a breast of mutton. A story that relates to myself on this subject may be thought not unentertaining, especially when I assure you that it is literally true. I had long made love to a lady, in the possession of whom I am now the happiest of mankind, whose hand I should have gained with much difficulty without the assistance of a cat. You must know I HAVE often wondered that the Jews should then, that my most dangerous rival had so contrive such worthless greatness for the Destrong an aversion to this species, that he in- liver whom they expected, as to dress him up fallibly swooned away at the sight of that harm-in external pomp and pageantry, and repreless creature. My friend, Mrs. Lucy, her maid, sent him to their imaginations as making hahaving a greater respect for me and my purse voc amongst his creatures, and actuated with than she had for my rival, always took care to the poor ambition of a Cæsar or an Alexander. pin the tail of a cat under the gown of her How much more illustrious does he appear in mistress, whenever she knew of his coming his real character, when considered as the auwhich had such an effect, that every time he thor of universal benevolence among men, as entered the room, he looked more like one of refining our passions, exalting our nature, the figures in Mrs. Salmon's wax-work," than giving us vast ideas of immortality, and a desirable lover. In short, he grew sick of teaching as a contempt of that little showy her company; which the young lady taking grandeur wherein the Jews made the glory notice of (who no more knew why than he of their Messiah to consist! did), she sent me a challenge to meet her in Lincoln's-inn chapel, which I joyfully accepted; and have, amongst other pleasures, the An exhibition then to be seen near St. Dunstan's church, Fleet Street, but which, about fifteen years ago, was moved to the opposite side of the street. 'Nothing,' says Longinus, can be great, the contempt of which is great.' The possession of wealth and riches cannot give a man a title to greatness, because it is looked *There was about this time a celebrated manufactory of tapestry at Chelsea. upon as a greatness of mind to contemn these gifts of fortune, and to be above the desire of them. I have therefore been inclined to think that there are greater men who lie concealed among the species, than those who come out and draw upon themselves the eyes and admiration of mankind. Virgil would never have been heard of, had not his domestic misfortunes driven him out of his obscurity, and brought him to Rome. If we suppose that there are spirits, or angels, who look into the ways of men, as it is highly probable there are, both from reason and revelation, how different are the notions which they entertain of us, from those which we are apt to form of one another! Were they to give us in their catalogue of such worthies as are now living, how different would it be from that which any of our own species would draw up! Thus liv'd obscurely then without a name, 611.] Monday, October 25, 1714. Perfidious man! thy parent was a rock, We are dazzled with the splendour of titles, the ostentation of learning, the noise of victories: they, on the contrary, see the philosopher in the cottage, who possesses his soul in patience and thankfulness, under the pressures of what little minds call poverty and distress. They do not look for great men at the head of armies, or among the pomps of a court, but often find them out in shades and solitudes, in No. the private walks and by-paths of life. The evening's walk of a wise man is more illustrious in their sight than the march of a general at the head of a hundred thousand men. A contemplation of God's works; a voluntary act of justice to our own detriment; a generous concern for the good of mankind; tears I AM willing to postpone every thing, to do that are shed in silence for the misery of any the least service for the deserving and unothers; a private desire or resentment broken fortunate. Accordingly I have caused the foland subdued; in short, an unfeigned exercise lowing letter to be inserted in my paper the of humility, or any other virtue, are such ac-moment that it came to my hands, without tions as are glorious in their sight, and deno-altering one tittle in an account which the lady minate men great and reputable. The most relates so handsomely herself. famous among us are often looked upon with pity, with contempt, or with indignation; whilst those who are most obscure among 'I flatter myself you will not only pity, but, their own species are regarded with love, with approbation, and esteem. The moral of the present speculation amounts to this; that we should not be led away by the censures and applauses of men, but consider the figure that every person will make at that time, when Wisdom shall be justified of her children,' and nothing pass for great or illustrious, which is not an ornament and perfection to human nature. MR. SPECTATOR, if possible, redress a misfortune myself and several others of my sex lie under. I hope you will not be offended, nor think I mean by this to justify my own imprudent conduct, or expect you should. No: I am sensible how severely, in some of your former papers, you have reproved persons guilty of the like mismanagement. I was scarce sixteen, and I may say, without vanity, handsome, when courted by a false perjured man; who, upon promise The story of Gyges, the rich Lydian mon of marriage, rendered me the most unhappy arch, is a memorable instance to our present of women. After he had deluded me from purpose. The oracle being asked by Gyges, my parents, who were people of very good who was the happiest man, replied, Aglaus. fashion, in less than three months he left me. Gyges, who expected to have heard himself My parents would not see nor hear from me; named on this occasion, was much surprised, and, had it not been for a servant who had and very curious to know who this Aglaüs lived in our family, I must certainly have should be. After much inquiry, he was found perished for want of bread. However, it to be an obscure countryman, who employed pleased Providence, in a very short time, to all his time in cultivating a garden, and a few acres of land about his house. Cowley's agreeable relation of this story shall close this day's speculation. Thus Aglaus (a man unknown to men, alter my miserable condition. A gentleman saw me, liked me, and married me. My parents were reconciled; and I might be as happy in the change of my condition, as I was before miserable, but for some things, that you shall know, which are insupportable to |
