am very well read in Waller, I repeated to her the four following verses out of his poem to Vandyke: "The heedless lover does not know Whose eyes they are that wound him so; of folding doors. If a candidate for this corpulent club could make his entrance through the first, he was looked upon as unqualified; but if he stuck in the passage, and could not force his way through it, the foldingdoors were immediately thrown open for ther. I have heard that this club, though his reception, and he was saluted as a broit consisted but of fifteen persons, weighed above three tons. I pronounced these words with such a languishing air, that I had some reason to conclude I had made a conquest. She told me that she hoped my face was not akin to In opposition to this society, there sprung my tongue, and looking upon her watch, I up another composed of scarecrows and accidentally discovered the figure of a coro- skeletons, who, being very meagre and ennet on the back part of it. I was so trans-vious, did all they could to thwart the deported with the thought of such an amour, signs of their bulky brethren, whom they that I plied her from one room to another represented as men of dangerous principles; with all the gallantries I could invent; and till at length they worked them out of the at length brought things to so happy an favour of the people, and consequently out issue, that she gave me a private meeting of the magistracy. These factions tore the the next day, without page or footman, corporation in pieces for several years, till coach or equipage. My heart danced in at length they came to this accommodation: raptures; but I had not lived in this golden that the two bailiffs of the town should be dream above three days, before I found good reason to wish that I had continued annually chosen out of the two clubs; by which means the principal magistrates are true to my laundress. I have since heard, at this day coupled like rabbits, one fat and by a very great accident, that this fine lady does not live far from Covent-garden, and that I am not the first cully whom she has passed herself upon for a countess. Thus, sir, you see how I have mistaken a cloud for a Juno; and if you can make any use of this adventure, for the benefit of those who may possibly be as vain young coxcombs as myself, I do most heartily give you leave. 'I am, Sir, 'Your most humble admirer, B. L. I design to visit the next masquerade myself, in the same habit I wore at Grand Cairo; and till then shall suspend my judgment of this midnight entertainment. No. 9.] Saturday, March 10, 1710-11. C. Tate. Juv. Sat. XV. 163. Tiger with tiger, bear with bear you'll find In leagues offensive and defensive join'd. MAN is said to be a sociable animal, and, as an instance of it, we may observe, that we take all occasions and pretences of forming ourselves into those little nocturnal assemblies, which are commonly known by the name of clubs. When a set of men find themselves agree in any particular, though never so trivial, they establish themselves into a kind of fraternity and meet once or twice a week, upon the account of such a fantastic resemblance. I know a considerable market-town, in which there was a club of fat men, that did not come together (as you may well suppose) to entertain one another with sprightliness and wit, but to keep one another in countenance. The room where the club met was something of the largest, and had two entrances, the one by a door of a moderate size, and the other by a pair one lean. This ther the confederacy of the Kings. A christian name has likewise been often used as a badge of distinction, and made the occasion of a club. That of the Georges, which used to meet at the sign of the George, on St. George's day, and swear 'Before George,' is still fresh in every one's memory. There are at present, in several parts of this city, what they call street-clubs, in which the chief inhabitants of the street converse together every night. I remember, upon my inquiring after lodgings in Ormond-street, the landlord, to recommend that quarter of the town, told me, there was at that time a very good club in it; he also told me, upon further discourse with him, that two or three noisy country 'squires, who were settled there the year before, had considerably sunk the price of house-rent; and that the club (to prevent the like inconveniencies for the future) had thoughts of taking every house that became vacant into their own hands, till they had found a tenant for it, of a sociable nature and good conversation. The Hum-Drum club, of which I was formerly an unworthy member, was made up of very honest gentlemen, of peaceable dispositions, that used to sit together, smoke their pipes, and say nothing, till midnight. The Mum club (as I am informed) is an institution of the same nature, and as great an enemy to noise. After these two innocent societies, I can- | Rules to be observed in the Two-penny not forbear mentioning a very mischievous one, that was erected in the reign of King Charles the second: I mean the club of duellists, in which none was to be admitted that had not fought his man. The presi dent of it was said to have killed half a dozen in single combat; and as for the other members, they took their seats according to the number of their slain. There was likewise a side-table, for such as had only drawn blood, and shown a laudable ambition of taking the first opportunity to qualify themselves for the first table. This club, consisting only of men of honour, did not continue long, most of the members of it being put to the sword, or hanged, a little after its institution. Club, erected in this place, for the preservation of friendship and good neigh bourhood. I. Every member at his first coming in shall lay down his two-pence. II. Every member shall fill his pipe out of his own box. shall forfeit a penny for the use of the III. If any member absents himself he club, unless in case of sickness or imprison ment. IV. If any member swears or curses, his neighbour may give him a kick upon the shins. that are not true, he shall forfeit for every V. If any member tells stories in the club VI. If any member strikes another wrongfully he shall pay his club for him. VII. If any member brings his wife into the club, he shall pay for whatever she drinks or smokes. Our modern celebrated clubs are found-third lie an half-penny. ed upon eating and drinking, which are points wherein most men agree, and in which the learned and the illiterate, the dull and the airy, the philosopher and the buffoon, can all of them bear a part. The Kit-cat* itself is said to have taken its original from a mutton-pie. The Beef-steak† and October clubs are neither of them averse to eating and drinking, if we may form a judgment of them from their respective titles. When men are thus knit together, by a love of society, not a spirit of faction, and do not meet to censure or annoy those that are absent, but to enjoy one another; when they are thus combined for their own improvement, or for the good of others, or at least to relax themselves from the business of the day, by an innocent and cheerful conversation, there may be something very useful in these little institutions and establishments. fetch him home from the club, she shall old, he shall be turned out of the club. X, None shall be admitted into the club that is of the same trade with any member of it. clothes or shoes made or mended, but by a XI. None of the club shall have his brother member. XII. No non-juror shall be capable of being a member. The morality of this little club is guarded by such wholesome laws and penalties, that I question not but my reader will be as well pleased with them as he would have been with the Leges Convivales of Ben Jonson, the regulations of an old Roman club, cited by Lipsius, or the rules of a Symposium in an ancient Greek_au I cannot forbear concluding this paper with a scheme of laws that I met with upon a wall in a little alehouse. How I came thither I may inform my reader at a more convenient time. These laws were enact- thor. ed by a knot of artisans and mechanics, who used to meet every night; and as there is something in them which gives us No. 10.] Monday, March 12, 1710-11. a pretty picture of low life, I shall transcribe them word for word. *This club, which took its name from Christopher Cat, the maker of their mutton-pies, was originally formed in Shire-lane, about the time of the trial of the seven bishops, for a little free evening conversation, but in Queen Anne's reign comprehended above forty noblemen and gentlemen of the first rank, all firm friends to the Hanoverian succession. The verses for their toasting glasses were written by Garth, and the Portraits of all its members painted by Kneller, who was himself one of their number; hence all portraits of the same dimensions are at this time known by the name of Kit Cat. Jacob Tonson, the bookseller, was their secretary, and built a gallery at his house at Barn Elms, for the reception of the pictures, and where the club occasionally held its meetings. From Tonson, this valuable collection has come by inheritance to Samuel Baker, Esq. of Hertingfordbury, near Hertford. Of this club, it is said, that Mrs. Woffington, the only woman belonging to it, was president; Richard Estcourt, the comedian, was their provedore, and as an honourable badge of his office, wore a small gridiron of gold hung round his neck with a green silk riband. C. Non aliter quam qui adverso vix flumine lembum, So the boat's brawny crew the current stem, IT is with much satisfaction that I hear this great city inquiring day by day after these my papers, and receiving my morning lectures with a becoming seriousness and attention. My publisher tells me, that there are already three thousand of them distributed every day: so that if I allow twenty readers to every paper, which I look upon as a modest computation, I may reckon about threescore thousand disciples in London and Westminster, who I hope There is another set of men that I must likewise lay a claim to, whom I have lately called the blanks of society, as being altogether unfurnished with ideas, till the bu plied them. I have often considered those poor souls with an eye of great commiseration, when I have heard them asking the first man they have met with, whether there was any news stirring? and by that means gathering together materials for thinking. These needy persons do not know what to talk of, till about twelve o'clock in the morning; for by that time they are pretty good judges of the weather, know which way the wind sits, and whether the Dutch mail be come in. As they lie at the mercy of the first man they meet, and are will take care to distinguish themselves from the thoughtless herd of their ignorant and inattentive brethren. Since I have raised to myself so great an audience, I shall spare no pains to make their instruction agree-siness and conversation of the day has supable, and their diversion useful. For which reasons I shall endeavour to enliven morality with wit, and to temper wit with morality, that my readers may, if possible, both ways find their account in the speculation of the day. And to the end that their virtue and discretion may not be short, transient, intermitting starts of thought, I have resolved to refresh their memories from day to day, till I have recovered them out of that desperate state of vice and folly into which the age is fallen. The mind that lies fallow but a single day, sprouts up in follies that are only to be kill-grave or impertinent all the day long, aced by a constant and assiduous culture. It cording to the notions which they have was said of Socrates, that he brought phi- imbibed in the morning, I would earnestly losophy down from heaven, to inhabit entreat them not to stir out of their chamamong men; and I shall be ambitious to bers till they have read this paper, and do have it said of me that I have brought phi- promise them that I will daily instil into losophy out of closets and libraries, schools, them such sound and wholesome sentiand colleges, to dwell in clubs and assem-ments, as shall have a good effect on their blies, at tea-tables, and in coffee-houses. conversation for the ensuing twelve hours. I would, therefore, in a very particular But there are none to whom this paper manner, recommend these my speculations will be more useful than to the female to all well-regulated families, that set world. I have often thought there has not apart an hour in every morning for tea and bread and butter; and would earnestly advise them, for their good, to order this paper to be punctually served up, and to be looked upon as a part of the tea-equipage. Sir Francis Bacon observes, that a wellwritten book, compared with its rivals and antagonists, is like Moses's serpent, that immediately swallowed up and devoured those of the Egyptians. shall not be so vain as to think, that where the Spectator appears, the other public prints will vanish; but shall leave it to my reader's consideration, whether it is not much better to be let into the knowledge of one's self, than to hear what passes in Muscovy or Poland; and to amuse ourselves with such writings as tend to the wearing out of ignorance, passion, and prejudice, than such as naturally conduce to inflame hatreds, and make enmities irreconcilable? In the next place I would recommend this paper to the daily perusal of those gentlemen whom I cannot but consider as my good brothers and allies, I mean the fraternity of Spectators, who live in the world without having any thing to do in it; and either by the affluence of their fortunes, or laziness of their dispositions, have no other business with the rest of mankind, but to look upon them. Under this class of men are comprehended all contemplative tradesmen, titular physicians, fellows of the royal society, templars that are not given to be contentious, and statesmen that are out of business; in short, every one that considers the world as a theatre, and desires to form a right judgment of those who are the actors on it. been sufficient pains taken in finding out proper employments and diversions for the fair ones. Their amusements seem contrived for them, rather as they are women, than as they are reasonable creatures; and are more adapted to the sex than to the species. The toilet is their great scene of business, and the right adjusting of their hair the principal employment of their lives. The sorting of a suit of ribands is reckoned a very good morning's work; and if they make an excursion to a mercer's or a toy-shop, so great a fatigue makes them unfit for any thing else all the day after. Their more serious occupations are sew ing and embroidery, and their greatest drudgery the preparations of jellies and sweetmeats. This, I say, is the state of ordinary women; though I know there are multitudes of those of a more elevated life and conversation, that move in an exalted sphere of knowledge and virtue, that join all the beauties of the mind to the ornaments of dress, and inspire a kind of awe and respect, as well as love, into their male beholders. I hope to increase the number of these by publishing this daily paper, which I shall always endeavour to make an innocent if not an improving entertainment, and by that means at least divert the minds of my female readers from greater trifles. At the same time, as I would fain give some finishing touches to those which are already the most beautiful pieces in human nature, I shall endeavour to point out all those imperfections that are the blemishes, as well as those virtues which are the embellishments, of the sex. In the meanwhile, I hope these my gen tle readers, who have so much time on their hands, will not grudge throwing away a quarter of an hour in a day on this paper, since they may do it without any hindrance to business. no opportunity, till the larum ceased of itself, which it did not till he had repeated and murdered the celebrated story of the Ephesian matron. Arietta seemed to regard this piece of raillery as an outrage done to her sex; as indeed I have always observed that women, whether out of a nicer regard to their honour, or what other reason, I cannot tell, are more sensibly touched with those general aspersions which are cast upon their sex, than men are by what is said of theirs. When she had a little recovered herself from the serious anger she was in, she replied in the following manner. 'Sir, when I consider how perfectly new I know several of my friends and wellwishers are in great pain for me, lest I should not be able to keep up the spirit of a paper which I oblige myself to furnish every day; but to make them easy in this particular, I will promise them faithfully to give it over as soon as I grow dull. This I know will be a matter of great raillery to the small wits, who will frequently put me in mind of my promise, desire me to keep my word, assure me that it is high time to give over, with many other little pleasantries of the like nature, which men of a lit-all you have said on this subject is, and that tle smart genius cannot forbear throwing the story you have given us is not quite two out against their best friends, when they thousand years old, I cannot but think it a have such a handle given them of being piece of presumption to dispute it with you: witty. But let them remember, that I do but your quotations put me in mind of the hereby enter my caveat against this piece fable of the lion and the man. of raillery. C. walking with that noble animal, showed him, in the ostentation of human superiority, a sign of a man killing a lion. Upon which, the lion said, very justly, "We lions are none of us painters, else we could show a hundred men killed by lions, for one lion killed by a man.' You men are writers, and can represent us women as unbecoming as you please in your works, while we are unable to return the injury. You have twice or thrice observed in your discourse, that hypocrisy is the very foun The man No. 11.] Tuesday, March 13, 1710-11. Dat veniam corvis, vexat censura columbas. Juv. Sat. ii. 63. The doves are censur'd, while the crows are spar'd. ARIETTA is visited by all persons of both sexes, who have any pretence to wit and gallantry. She is in that time of life which is neither affected with the follies of youth, or infirmities of age; and her conversa-dation of our education; and that an ability tion is so mixed with gaiety and prudence, to dissemble our affections is a professed that she is agreeable both to the old and part of our breeding. These, and such the young. Her behaviour is very frank, other reflections, are sprinkled up and without being in the least blameable; and down the writings of all ages, by authors, as she is out of the track of any amorous or who leave behind them memorials of their ambitious pursuits of her own, her visitors resentment against the scorn of particular entertain her with accounts of themselves women, in invectives against the whole very freely, whether they concern their sex. Such a writer, I doubt not, was the passions or their interests. I made her a celebrated Petronius, who invented the visit this afternoon, having been formerly pleasant aggravations of the frailty of the introduced to the honour of her acquaint- Ephesian lady; but when we consider this ance by my friend Will Honeycomb, who question between the sexes, which has has prevailed upon her to admit me some-been either a point of dispute or raillery times into her assembly, as a civil inoffen- ever since there were men and women, let sive man. I found her accompanied with us take facts from plain people, and from one person only, a common-place talker, such as have not either ambition or capawho, upon my entrance, arose, and after a city to embellish their narrations with any very slight civility sat down again; then, beauties of imagination. I was the other turning to Arietta, pursued his discourse, day amusing myself with Lignon's Account which I found was upon the old topic of of Barbadoes; and in answer to your wellconstancy in love. He went on with great wrought tale, I will give you (as it dwells facility in repeating what he talks every upon my memory) out of that honest traday of his life; and with the ornaments of veller, in his fifty-fifth page, the history of insignificant laughs and gestures, enforced Inkle and Yarico. his arguments by quotations out of plays and songs, which allude to the perjuries of the fair, and the general levity of women. Methought he strove to shine more than ordinarily in his talkative way, that he might insult my silence, and distinguish himself before a woman of Arietta's taste and understanding. She had often an inclination to interrupt him, but could find 'Mr. Thomas Inkle, of London, aged twenty years, embarked in the Downs, in the good ship called the Achilles, bound for the West Indies, on the 16th of June, 1647, in order to improve his fortune by trade and merchandise. Our adventurer was the third son of an eminent citizen, who had taken particular care to instil into his mind an early love of gain, by making clothed in such silks as his waistcoat was made of, and be carried in houses drawn by horses, without being exposed to wind or weather. All this he promised her the enjoyment of, without such fears and alarms as they were there tormented with. In this tender correspondence these lovers lived for several months, when Yarico, instructed by her lover, discovered a vessel on the coast, to which she made signals; and in the night, with the utmost joy and satisfaction, accompanied him to a ship's crew of his countrymen, bound for Barbadoes. When a vessel from the main arrives in that island, it seems the planters come down to the shore, where there is an immediate market of the Indians and other slaves, as with us of horses and oxen. him a perfect master of numbers, and consequently giving him a quick view of loss and advantage, and preventing the natural impulses of his passion, by prepossession towards his interests. With a mind thus turned, young Inkle had a person every way agreeable, a ruddy vigour in his countenance, strength in his limbs, with ringlets of fair hair loosely flowing on his shoulders. It happened in the course of the voyage, that the Achilles, in some distress, put into a creek on the main of America, in search of provisions. The youth who is the hero of my story, among others, went on shore on this occasion. From their first landing they were observed by a party of Indians, who hid themselves in the woods for that purpose. The English unadvisedly marched a great distance from the shore 'To be short, Mr. Thomas Inkle now into the country, and were intercepted by coming into English territories, began sethe natives, who slew the greatest number riously to reflect upon his loss of time, and of them. Our adventurer escaped among to weigh with himself how many days' inothers, by flying into a forest. Upon his terest of his money he had lost during his coming into a remote and pathless part of stay with Yarico. This thought made the the wood, he threw himself, tired and young man pensive, and careful what acbreathless, on a little hillock, when an In- count he should be able to give his friends dian maid rushed from a thicket behind of his voyage. Upon which consideration, him. After the first surprise they appear- the prudent and frugal young man sold ed mutually agreeable to each other. If Yarico to a Barbadian merchant; notwiththe European was highly charmed with standing the poor girl, to incline him to the limbs, features, and wild graces of the commiserate her condition, told him that naked American; the American was no she was with child by him: but he only less taken with the dress, complexion and made use of that information, to rise in his shape of an European, covered from head demands upon the purchaser.' to foot. The Indian grew immediately enamoured of him, and consequently solicitous for his preservation. She therefore conveyed him to a cave, where she gave him a delicious repast of fruits, and led him to a stream to slake his thirst. In the midst of these good offices, she would sometimes play with his hair, and delight in the opposition of its colour to that of her I was so touched with this story (which I think should be always a counterpart to the Ephesian matron) that I left the room with tears in my eyes, which a woman of Arietta's good sense did, I am sure, take for greater applause than any compliments I could make her. -Veteres avias tibi de pulmone revello. Pers. Sat. v. 92. I root th' old woman from thy trembling heart. fingers: then open his bosom, then laugh No. 12.] Wednesday, March 14, 1710-11. at him for covering it. She was, it seems, a person of distinction, for she every day came to him in a different dress, of the most beautiful shells, bugles, and beads. She likewise brought him a great many AT my coming to London, it was some spoils which her other lovers had present-time before I could settle myself in a house ed to her, so that his cave was richly to my liking. I was forced to quit my first adorned with all the spotted skins of lodgings by reason of an officious landlady, beasts, and most party-coloured feathers that would be asking me every morning of fowls, which that world afforded. To how I had slept. I then fell into an honest make his confinement more tolerable, she family, and lived very happily for above a would carry him in the dusk of the eve- week; when my landlord, who was a jolly, ning, or by the favour of moonlight, to un- good-natured man, took it into his head frequented groves and solitudes, and show that I wanted company, and therefore him where to lie down in safety, and sleep would frequently come into my chamber, amidst the falls of waters and melody of to keep me from being alone. This I bore nightingales. Her part was to watch and for two or three days; but telling me one hold him awake in her arms, for fear of day that he was afraid I was melancholy, her countrymen, and wake him on occa-I thought it was high time for me to be sions to consult his safety. In this manner did the lovers pass away their time till they had learned a language of their own, in which the voyager communicated to his mistress how happy he should be to have her in his country, where she should be gone, and accordingly took new lodgings that very night. About a week after, I found my jolly landlord, who, as I said before, was an honest, hearty man, had put me into an advertisement in the Daily Courant, in the following words: 'Where |
