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he would boast of a lady's favour; then turn-care, as much as possible, to keep myself a ed away her head, with a very well acted neuter between both sexes. I have neither confusion, which favoured the escape of the spared the ladies out of complaisance, nor the aged Escalus. This adventure was matter of men out of partiality; but notwithstanding great pleasantry to Isabella and her spouse; the great integrity with which I have acted in and they had enjoyed it two days before this particular, I find myself taxed with an Escalus could recollect himself enough to inclination to favour my own half of the speform the following letter:

"MADAM,

cies. Whether it be that the women afford a more fruitful field for speculation, or whether cannot tell; but I shall set down the charge they run more in my head than the men, I as it is laid against me in the following letter.

'MR. SPECTATOR,

“What happened the other day gives me a lively image of the inconsistency of human passions and inclinations. We pursue what we are denied, and place our affections on what is absent, though we neglected it when 'I always make one among a company of present. As long as you refused my love your refusal did so strongly excite my passion, young females, who peruse your speculations that I had not once the leisure to think of re- every morning. I am at present commissioned calling my reason to aid me against the de- by our whole assembly to let you know, that sign upon your virtue. But when that virtue we fear you are a little inclined to be partial towards your own sex. We must however began to comply in my favour, my reason acknowledge, with all due gratitude, that in made an effort over my love, and let me see some cases you have given us our revenge on the baseness of my behaviour in attempting a the men, and done us justice. We could not woman of honour. I own to you, it was not without the most violent struggle that I gained dissection of the coquette's heart, if you had easily have forgiveu you several strokes in the this victory over myself; nay, I will confess my shame, and acknowledge, I could not have not, much about the same time, made a sacriprevailed but by flight. However, madam, I beg that you will believe a moment's weakness has not destroyed the esteem I had for you, which was confirmed by so many years

of obstinate virtue. You have reason to rejoice that this did not happen within the observation of one of the young fellows, who would have exposed your weakness, and glo

ried in his own brutish inclinations.

"I am, Madam,

"Your most devoted humble servant." 'Isabella, with the help of her husband, returned the following answer:

"SIR,

fice to us of a beau's skull.

You may further, sir, please to remember, that not long since you attacked our hoods and commodes in such a manner, as, to use your own expression, made very many of us

ashamed to show our heads. We must there

fore beg leave to represent to you, that we are inquiry, the men in all ages would be found in hopes, if you will please to make a due

to have been little less whimsical in adorning that part than ourselves. The different forms of their wigs, together with the various cocks of their hats, all flatter us in this opinion.

'I had an humble servant last summer, who the first time he declared himself, was in a full-bottomed wig; but the day after, to my "I cannot but account myself a very happy no small surprise, he accosted me in a thin nawoman, in having a man for a lover that can tural one. I received him, at this our second write so well, and give so good a turn to a interview as a perfect stranger, but was exdisappointment. Another excellence you have tremely confounded when his speech discoverabove all other pretenders I ever heard of; oned who he was. I resolved, therefore, to fix hig occasions where the most reasonable men lose face in my memory for the future; but as I all their reason, you have yours most powerful. was walking in the Park the same evening, he We have each of us to thank our genius that appeared to me in one of those wigs that I the passion of one abated in proportion as think you call a night-cap, which had altered that of the other grew violent. Does it not him more effectually than before. He afteryet come into your head to imagine, that wards played a couple of black riding wigs knew my compliance was the greatest cruelty upon me with the same success, and, in short, I could be guilty of towards you? In return assumed a new face almost every day in the for your long and faithful passion, I must let first month of his courtship. you know that you are old enough to become a little more gravity; but if you will leave me, and coquet it any where else, may your mistress yield.

T.

"ISABELLA."

No. 319.] Thursday, March 6, 1711-12.

Quo teneam vultus mutantem Protea nodo?
Hor. Ep. i. Lib. 1. 90.
Say while they change on thus, what chains can bind
These varying forms, this Proteus of the mind?

Francis.

I HAVE endeavoured in the course of my pa pers to do justice to the age, and have taken

'I observed afterwards, that the variety of cocks into which he moulded his hat had not a little contributed to his impositions upon me.

'Yet, as if all these ways were not sufficient to distinguish their heads, you must doubtless, sir, have observed, that great numbers of young fellows have, for several months last past, taken upon them to wear feathers.

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We hope, therefore, that these may, with as much justice, be called Indian princes, as you have styled a woman in a coloured hood an Indian queen; and that you will in due time take these airy gentlemen into consideration.

'We the more carnestly beg that you would

put a stop to this practice, since it has already with all the particulars of my intended dress; lost us one of the most agreeable members of but will only tell you, as a sample of it, that our society, who, after having refused several I shall very speedily appear at White's in a good estates, and two titles, was lured from us cherry-coloured hat. I took this hint from last week by a mixed feather. the ladies' hoods, which I look upon as the

'I am ordered to present you with the res-boldest stroke that sex has struck for these pects of our whole company, and am, hundred years last past.

Sir,

Your very humble servant,

'DORINDA.'

I am, Sir,
Your most obedient,
most humble servant,

'WILL SPRIGHTLY.'

I have not time at present to make any re

'Note. The person wearing the feather, though our friend took him for an officer in the guards, has proved to be an errant linen-flections on this letter; but must not however draper.'" omit that having shown it to Will Honeycomb, he desires to be acquainted with the gentleman who writ it.

I am not now at leisure to give my opinion upon the hat and feather: however, to wipe of the present imputation, and gratify my female correspondent, I shall here print a letter which No 320.] Friday, March 7, 1711-12. I lately received from a man of mode, who seems to have a very extraordinary genius in his way.

SIR,

non pronuba Juno,
Non Hymenæus adest, non illi gratia lecto;
Eumenides stravere torum-

X.

Ovid. Met. Lib. 6. 428.

Nor Hymen, nor the Graces here preside,
Nor Juno to befriend the blooming bride;
But fiends with fun'ral brands the process led,
And furies waited at the genial bed.

• MR. SPECTATOR,

Crazet

'I presume I need not inform you, that among men of dress it is a common phrase to say, "Mr. Such-a-one has struck a bold stroke" by which we understand, that he is the first man who has had courage enough to 'Yon have given many hints in your papers lead up a fashion. Accordingly, when our tai- to the disadvantage of persons of your own sex, lors take measure of us, they always demand who lay plots upon women. Among other hard "whether we will have a plain suit, or strike words you have published the term "Male Coa bold stroke?" I think I may without vanity quets,' and been very severe upon such as give say, that I have struck some of the boldest and themselves the liberty of a little dalliance of most successful strokes of any man in Great heart, and playing fast and loose between love Britain. I was the first that struck the long and indifference, until perhaps an easy young pocket about two years since; I was likewise girl is reduced to sighs, dreams, and tears, and the author of the frosted button, which when I languishes away her life for a careless coxcomb, saw the town come readily into, being resolved who looks astonished, and wonders at such an to strike while the iron was hot, I produced much about the same time the scallop flap, the knotted cravat, and made a fair push for the silver-clocked stocking.

effect from what in him was all but common civility. Thus you have treated the men who are irresolute in marriage; but if you design to be impartial, pray be so honest as to print the A few months after I brought up the modish information I now give you of a certain set of jacket, or the coat with close sleeves. I struck women who never coquet for the matter, but, this at first in a plain Doily; but that failing, with a high hand, marry whom they please to I struck it a second time in blue camlet, and whom they please. As for my part, I should repeated the stroke in several kinds of cloth, not have concerned myself with them, but that until at last it took effect. There are two or I understand I am pitched upon by them to be three young fellows at the other end of the married, against my will, to one I never saw town who have always their eye upon me, and in my life. It has been my misfortune, sir, answer me stroke for stroke. I was once so very innocently, to rejoice in a plentiful forunwary as to mention my fancy in relation to tune, of which I am master, to bespeak a fine a new-fashioned surtout before one of these chariot, to give directions for two or three gentlemen, who was disingenous enough to handsome snuff-boxes, and as many suits of steal my thought, and by that means prevent-fine clothes; but before any of these were ready ed my intended stroke. I heard reports of my being to be married to

I have a design this spring to make very two or three different young women. Upon considerable innovations in the waistcoat; and my taking notice of it to a young gentleman. have already begun, with a coup d'essai upon who is often in my company, he told me smiling the sleeves, which has succeeded very well. I was in the inquisition. You may believe I 'I must further inform you, if you will pro-was not a little startled at what he meant, and mise to encourage, or at least to connive at more so, when he asked me if I had bespoke me, that it is my design to strike such a stroke any thing of late that was fine, I told him the beginning of the next month as shall surprise the whole town.

'I do not think it prudent to acquaint you

Quly an ensign in the train-bands. Spect. in folio.

several; upon which he produced a description of my person, from the tradesmen whom I had employed, and told me that they had certainly informed against me. Mr. Spectator, whatever the world may think of me, I am more coxcomb

than fool, and I grew very inquisitive upon this men, bottle companions, his fraternity of fops, head, not a little pleased with the novelty. shall be brought into the conspiracy against My friend told me, there were a certain set of him. Then this matter is not laid in so barewomen of fashion, whereof the number of six faced a manner before him as to have it inmade a committee, who sat thrice a week, under timated, Mrs. Such-a-one would make him a the title of "The Inquisition on Maids and very proper wife; but, by the force of their Bachelors." It seems, whenever there comes correspondence, they shall make it (as Mr. such an unthinking gay thing as myself to town, Waller said of the marriage of the dwarfs) as he must want all manner of necessaries, or be impracticable to have any woman besides her put into the inquisition by the first tradesman they design him, as it would have been in he employs. They have constant intelligence Adam to have refused Eve. The man nam with cane-shops, perfumers, toy men, coach-ed by the commission for Mrs. Such-a-one makers, and china-houses. From these several shall neither be in fashion, nor dare ever applaces these undertakers for marriages have as pear in company, should he attempt to evade constant and regular correspondence as the fu- their determination. neral-men have with vintners and apothecaries. All bachelors are under their immediate inspection and my friend produced to me a re-can sow dissentions between the dearest friends, port given in to their board, wherein an old uncle of mine, who came to town with me, and myself were inserted, and we stood thus: the uncle smoky, rotten, poor; the nephew raw, but no fool; sound at present, very rich. My information did not end here; but my friend's advices are so good, that he could show me a copy of the letter sent to the young lady who is to have me; which I enclose to you:

"MADAM,

"This is to let you know, that you are to be married to a beau that comes out on Thursday, six in the evening. Be at the Park. You cannot but know a virgin fop; they have a mind to look saucy, but are out of countenance. The board has denied him to several good families. I wish you joy,

CORINNA."

The female sex wholly govern domestic life; and by this means when they think fit, they

nay, make father and son irreconcilable enemies, in spite of all the ties of gratitude on one part, and the duty of protection to be paid on the other. The ladies of the inquisition understand this perfectly well; and where love is not a motive to a man's choosing one whom they allot, they can with very much art insinuate stories to the disadvantage of his honesty or courage, until the creature is too much dispirited to bear up against a general ill reception, which he every where meets with, and in due time falls into their appointed wedlock for shelter. I have a long letter bearing date the fourth instant, which gives me a large account of the politics of this court; and find there is now before them a very refractory person who has escaped all their machinations for two years last past; but they have prevented two successive matches which were of his own inclination; the one by a report that What makes my correspondent's case the his mistress was to be married, and the very more deplorable is, that, as I find by the re- day appointed, wedding-clothes bought, and port from my censor of marriages, the friend all things ready for her being given to anhe speaks of is employed by the inquisition to other; the second time by insinuating to all take him in, as the phrase is. After all that his mistress's friends and acquaintance, that is told him, he has information only of one wo- he had been false to several other women, and man that is laid for him, and that the wrong the like. The poor man is now reduced to one; for the lady commissioners have devoted profess he designs to lead a single life; but him to another than the person against whom the inquisition give out to all his acquaintance, they have employed their agent his friend to that nothing is intended but the gentleman's alarm him. The plot is laid so well about this own welfare and happiness. When this is young gentleman, that he has no friend to re- urged, he talks still more humbly, and protests tire to, no place to appear in, or part of the he aims only at a life without pain or reproach; kingdom to fly into, but he must fall into the pleasure, honour, and riches, are things for notice, and be subject to the power of the in-which he has no taste. But notwithstanding quisition. They have their emissaries and sub- all this, and what else he may defend himself stitutes in all parts of this united kingdom. with, as that the lady is too old or too young, The first step they usually take, is to find from of a suitable humour, or the quite contrary, a correspondence, by their messengers and and that it is impossible they can ever do other whisperers, with some domestic of the bache-than wrangle from June to January, every bolor (who is to be hunted into the toils they dy tells him all this is spleen, and he must have have laid for him), what are his manners, his a wife; while all the members of the inquisifamiliarities, his good qualities, or vices; not tion are unanimous in a certain woman for as the good in him is a recommendation, or him, and they think they altogether are better the ill a diminution, but as they affect to con- able to judge than he, or any other private tribute to the main inquiry, what estate he person whatsoever. has in him. When this point is well reported to the board, they can take in a wild roaring Temple, March 3, 1711. fox-hunter, as easily as a soft, gentle young| Your speculations this day on the subject fop of the town. The way is to make all places of idleness has employed me, ever since I read uneasy to him, but the scenes in which they it, in sorrowful reflections on my having loitered have allotted him to act. His brother hunts-away the term (or rather the vacation) of tea

Vor. II.

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'SIR,

2

years in this place, and unhappily suffered a cal learning differ among one another, as to good chamber and study to lie idle as long. some particular points in an epic poem, I have My books (except those I have taken to sleep not bound myself scrupulously to the rules upon) have been totally neglected, and my which any one of them has laid down upon Lord Coke and other venerable authors were that art, but have taken the liberty sometimes never so slighted in their lives. I spend most to join with one, and sometimes with another, of the day at a neighbouring coffee-house, and sometimes to differ from all of them, when where we have what I may call a lazy club. I have thought that the reason of the thing was We generally come in night-gowns, with our on my side. stockings about our heels, and sometimes but We may conclude the beauties of the fourth one on. Our salutation at entrance is a yawn book under three heads. In the first are those and a stretch, and then without more ceremony pictures of still-life, which we meet with in the we take our place at the lolling-table, where description of Eden, Paradise, Adam's bowour discourse is, what I fear you would not er, &c. In the next are the machines, which read out, therefore shall not insert. But I as- comprehend the speeches and behaviour of the sure you, sir, I heartily lament this loss of good and bad angels. In the last is the contime, and am now resolved, (if possible, with duct of Adam and Eve, who are the principal double diligence) to retrieve it, being effectu- actors in the poem.

ally awakened, by the arguments of Mr. Slack, In the description of Paradise, the poet has out of the senseless stupidity that has so long observed Aristotle's rule of lavishing all the possessed me. And to demonstrate that peni-ornaments of diction on the weak unactive tence accompanies my confessions and con- parts of the fable, which are not supported by stancy my resolutions, I have locked my door the beauty of sentiments and characters. Acfor a year, and desire you would let my com- cordingly the reader may observe, that the expanions know I am not within. I am with great respect,

T.

'Sir,

'Your most obedient servant,

'N. B.'

No 321.] Saturday, March 8, 1711-12.

Nee satis est pulchra esse poemata, dulcia sunto.
Hor. Ars Poct. ver. 99.

"Tis not enough a poem's finely writ;
It must affect and captivate the soul. Roscommon

pressions are more florid and elaborate in these descriptions, than in most other parts of the poem. I must further add, that though the drawings of gardens, rivers, rainbows. and the like dead pieces of nature, are justly censured in an heroic poem, when they run out into an unnecessary length-the description of Paradise would have been faulty, had not the poet been very particular in it, not only as it is the scene of the principal action, but as it is requisite to give us an idea of that happiness from which our first parents fell. The plan of it is wonderfully beautiful, and formed upon THOSE who know how many volumes have the short sketch which we have of it in holy been written on the poems of Homer and Virgil writ. Milton's exuberance of imagination has will easily pardon the length of my discourse poured forth such a redundancy of ornaments upon Milton. The Paradise Lost is looked on this seat of happiness and innocence, that upon, by the best judges, as the greatest pro- it would be endless to point out each par duction, or at least the noblest work of genius, ticular. in our language, and therefore deserves to be I must not quit this head without further set before an English reader in its full beauty. observing, that there is scarce a speech of AdFor this reason, though I have endeavoured to am or Eve in the whole poem, wherein the sengive a general idea of its graces and imper- timents and allusions are not taken from this fections in my first six papers, I thought my- their delightful habitation. The reader, durself obliged to bestow one upon every book in ing their whole course of action, always finds particular. The first three books I have al-himself in the walks of Paradise. In short, as ready despatched, and am now entering upon the critics have remarked, that in those poems the fourth. I need not acquaint my reader wherein shepherds are the actors, the thoughts that there are multitudes of beauties in this ought always to take a tincture from the woods, great author, especially in the descsiptive parts fields, and rivers; so we may observe, that our of this poem, which I have not touched upon; first parents seldom lose sight of their happy it being my intention to point out those only station in any thing they speak or do; and, if which appear to me the most exquisite, or the reader will give me leave to use the exthose which are not so obvious to ordinary pression, that their thoughts are always * pareaders. Every one that has read the critics radisaical.'

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who have written upon the Odyssey, the Iliad, We are in the next place to consider the and the Æneid, knows very well, that though machines of the fourth book. Satan being they agree in their opinions of the great beau-now within prospect of Eden, and looking ties in those poems, they have nevertheless rouud upon the glories of the creation, is filled each of them discovered several master-strokes, with sentiments different from those which he which have escaped the observation of the rest. In the same manner, I question not but any writer, who shall treat of this subject after me may find several beauties in Milton, which I have not taken notice of. I must likewise observe, that as the greatest masters of criti

discovered whilst he was in hell. The place inspires him with thoughts more adapted to it. He reflects upon the happy condition from whence he fell, and breaks forth into a speech that is softened with several transient touches of remorse and self accusation: but at length

"MADAM,

"This is to let you know, that you are to be married to a beau that comes out on Thursday, six in the evening. Be at the Park. You cannot but know a virgin fop; they have a mind to look saucy, but are out of countenance. The board has denied him to several good families. I wish you joy,

than fool, and I grew very inquisitive upon this men, bottle companions, his fraternity of fops, head, not a little pleased with the novelty. shall be brought into the conspiracy against My friend told me, there were a certain set of him. Then this matter is not laid in so barewomen of fashion, whereof the number of six faced a manner before him as to have it inmade a committee, who sat thrice a week, under timated, Mrs. Such-a-one would make him a the title of "The Inquisition on Maids and very proper wife; but, by the force of their Bachelors." It seems, whenever there comes correspondence, they shall make it (as Mr. such an unthinking gay thing as myself to town, Waller said of the marriage of the dwarfs) as he must want all manner of necessaries, or be impracticable to have any woman besides her put into the inquisition by the first tradesman they design him, as it would have been in he employs. They have constant intelligence Adam to have refused Eve. The man namwith cane-shops, perfumers, toymen, coach-ed by the commission for Mrs. Such-a-one makers, and china-houses. From these several shall neither be in fashion, nor dare ever applaces these undertakers for marriages have as pear in company, should he attempt to evade constant and regular correspondence as the fu- their determination. neral-men have with vintners and apothecaries. The female sex wholly govern domestic life; All bachelors are under their immediate in- and by this means when they think fit, they spection and my friend produced to me a re-can sow dissentions between the dearest friends, port given in to their board, wherein an old nay, make father and son irreconcilable eneuncle of mine, who came to town with me, and mies, in spite of all the ties of gratitude on myself were inserted, and we stood thus the one part, and the duty of protection to be paid uncle smoky, rotten, poor; the nephew raw, on the other. The ladies of the inquisition but no fool; sound at present, very rich. My understand this perfectly well; and where love information did not end here; but my friend's is not a motive to a man's choosing one whom advices are so good, that he could show me a they allot, they can with very much art insicopy of the letter sent to the young lady who nuate stories to the disadvantage of his honesty is to have me; which I enclose to you: or courage, until the creature is too much dispirited to bear up against a general ill reception, which he every where meets with, and in due time falls into their appointed wedlock for shelter. I have a long letter bearing date the fourth instant, which gives me a large account of the politics of this court; and find there is now before them a very refractory person who has escaped all their machinations for two years last past; but they have prevented two successive matches which were of his own inclination; the one by a report that What makes my correspondent's case the his mistress was to be married, and the very more deplorable is, that, as I find by the re-day appointed, wedding-clothes bought, and port from my censor of marriages, the friend all things ready for her being given to anhe speaks of is employed by the inquisition to other; the second time by insinuating to all take him in, as the phrase is. After all that his mistress's friends and acquaintance, that is told him, he has information only of one wo- he had been false to several other women, and man that is laid for him, and that the wrong the like. The poor man is now reduced to one; for the lady commissioners have devoted profess he designs to lead a single life; but him to another than the person against whom the inquisition give out to all his acquaintance, they have employed their agent his friend to that nothing is intended but the gentleman's alarm him. The plot is laid so well about this own welfare and happiness. When this is young gentleman, that he has no friend to re-urged, he talks still more humbly, and protests tire to, no place to appear in, or part of the he aims only at a life without pain or reproach; kingdom to fly into, but he must fall into the pleasure, honour, and riches, are things for notice, and be subject to the power of the in-which he has no taste. But notwithstanding quisition. They have their emissaries and sub- all this, and what else he may defend himself stitutes in all parts of this united kingdom. with, as that the lady is too old or too young, The first step they usually take, is to find from of a suitable humour, or the quite contrary, a correspondence, by their messengers and and that it is impossible they can ever do other whisperers, with some domestic of the bache- than wrangle from June to January, every bolor (who is to be hunted into the toils they dy tells him all this is spleen, and he must have have laid for him), what are his manners, his a wife; while all the members of the inquisifamiliarities, his good qualities, or vices; not tion are unanimous in a certain woman for as the good in him is a recommendation, or him, and they think they altogether are better the ill a diminution, but as they affect to con- able to judge than he, or any other private tribute to the main inquiry, what estate he person whatsoever. has in him. When this point is well reported to the board, they can take in a wild roaring

CORINNA."

.

SIR,

Temple, March 3, 1711. fox-hunter, as easily as a soft, gentle young Your speculations this day on the subject fop of the town. The way is to make all places of idleness has employed me, ever since I read uneasy to him, but the scenes in which they it, in sorrowful reflections on my having loitered have allotted him to act. His brother hunts-away the term (or rather the vacation) of tea

VOL. II.

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