So much I hate a breaking-cause to be Prin. Ay, in truth, my lord; Trim gallants, full of courtship, and of state. Ros. Madam, speak true :-It is not so, my lord; My lady, (to the manner of the days,') In courtesy, gives undeserving praise: We four, indeed, confronted here with four In Russian habit: here they stay'd an hour, And talk'd apace; and in that hour, my lord, They did not bless us with one happy word. I dare not call them fools; but this I think, When they are thirsty, fools would fain have drink. Biron. This jest is dry to me..-Fair, gentle sweet, Your wit makes wise things foolish; when we greet With eyes best seeing heaven's fiery eye, By light we lose light: Your capacity Is of that nature, that to your huge store Wise things seem foolish, and rich things but poor. Ros. This proves you wise and rich; for in my eye, Biron. I am a fool, and full of poverty. Ros. But that you take what doth to you belong, It were a fault to snatch words from my tongue. Biron. O, I am yours, and all that I possess. Ros. All the fool mine? Biron. I cannot give you less. Ros. Which of the visors was it, that you wore ? Biron. Where? when? what visor? why demand you this? Ros. There, then, that visor; that superfluous case, That hid the worse, and show'd the better face. King. We are descried; they'll mock us now downright. Dum. Let us confess, and turn it to a jest. Prin. Amaz'd, my lord? Why looks your highness sad? Ros. Help, hold his brows! he'll swoon! look you pale?- Why Sea-sick, I think, coming from Muscovy. Biron. Thus pour the stars down plagues for perjury. Can any face of brass hold longer out ?Here stand I, lady; dart thy skill at me; Bruise me with scorn, confound me with a flout; Thrust thy sharp wit quite through my ignorance; Cut me to pieces with thy keen conceit; And I will wish thee never more to dance, Nor never more in Russian habit wait. O! never will I trust to speeches penn'd, Nor to the motion of a schoolboy's tongue; Nor never come in visor to my friend;2 Nor woo in rhyme, like a blind harper's song; Taffata phrases, silken terms precise, Three-pil'd' hyperboles, spruce affectation, Figures pedantical; these summer-flies Have blown me full of maggot ostentation: Henceforth my wooing mind shall be express'd 1 After the fashion of the times. 2 Mistress. 3 A metaphor from the pile of velvet. 4i. e. without French words, I pray you. 5 This was the inscription put upon the doors of houses infected with the plague. The tokens of the plague were the first spots or discolorations of the skin. 6 That is, how can those be liable to forfeiture that begin the process? The quibble lies in the ambiguity of the word sue, which signifies to proceed to law, and to petition. i. e. you care not, or do not regard forswearing. Prin. When she shall challenge this, you will reject her. King. Upon mine honour, no. Prin. Peace, peace, forbear, Your oath once broke, you force" not to forswear. King. Despise me, when I break this oath of mine. Prin. I will; and therefore keep it :-Rosaline, What did the Russian whisper in your ear? Ros. Madam, he swore, that he did hold me dear As precious eye-sight; and did value me Above this world: adding thereto, moreover, That he would wed me, or else die my lover. Prin. God give thee joy of him! the noble lord Most honourably doth uphold his word. King. What mean you, madam? by my life, my troth, I never swore this lady such an oath. Ros. By heaven, you did; and to confirm it plain, You gave me this: but take it, sir, again. King. My faith, and this, the princess I did give; I knew her by this jewel on her sleeve. Prin. Pardon, me, sir, this jewel did she wear; And lord Biron, I thank him, is my dear:What; will you have me, or your pearl again? Biron. Neither of either; I remit both twain.— I see the trick on't:-Here was a consent, (Knowing aforehand of our merriment,) To dash it like a Christmas comedy: Some carry-tale, some please-man, some slight zany," Some mumble-news, some trencher-knight, some Dick, That smiles his cheek in jeers;10 and knows the trick 11 To make my lady laugh, when she's dispos'd,- 8 An agreement, a conspiracy. See as You Like It, Act ii. Sc. 2. 9 Buffoon. 10 The old copies read yeeres, the emendation is Theobards. 11 i. e. first in will, and afterwards in error. 12 From esquierre, Fr. rule, or square. The sense is similar to the proverbial saying-he has got the length of her foot. Welcome, pure wit! thou partest a fair fray. Cost. O Lord, sir, they would know, For every one pursents three. You cannot beg us, sir, I can assure you, sir; we I hope, sir, three times thrice, sir,- Biron. By Jove, I always took three threes for nine. Cost. O Lord, sir, the parties themselves, the actors, sir, will show whereuntil it doth amount: for my own part, I am, as they say, but to parfect one man,-e'en one poor man; Pompion the great, sir. Biron. Art thou one of the worthies? Cost. It pleased them, to think me worthy of Pompion the great: for mine own part, I know not the degree of the worthy; but I am to stand for him. Biron. Go, bid them prepare. Cost. We will turn it finely off, sir; we will take [Exit COSTARD. King. Biron, they will shame us, let them not approach. some care. Biron. We are shame-proof, my lord: and 'tis some policy To have one show worse than the king's and his company. King. I say, they shall not come. you now; Prin. Nay, my good lord, let me o'errule Arm. Anointed, I implore so much expense of thy royal sweet breath, as will utter a brace of words. [ARMADO converses with the King, and delivers him a paper.] 1 That is, you are an allowed or a licensed fool or jester. 2 In the old common law was a writ de idiota inquirendo, under which if a man was legally proved an idiot, the profits of his lands, and the custody of his person, might be granted by the king to any subject. Such a person, when this grant was asked, was said to be begged for a fool. See Blackstone, b. 1. c. 8. § 18. One of the legal tests appears to have been to try whether the party could answer a simple arithmetical question. 3 The old copies read Prin. Doth this man serve God? Prin. He speaks not like a man of God's making. Arm. That's all one, my fair, sweet, honey mo narch: for, I protest, the schoolmaster is exceeding fantastical; too, too vain; too, too vain: But we will put it, as they say, to fortuna della guerra. I wish you the peace of mind, most royal couplement. [Exit ARMADO. King. Here is like to be a good presence of worthies: He presents Hector of Troy; the swain, Pompey the great; the parish curate, Alexander; Armado's page, Hercules; the pedant, Judas Ma chabæus, [Seats brought for the King, Princess, &c Pageant of the Nin Worthies. Enter CoSTARD arm'd, for Pompey. Cost. I Pompey am,— Cost. I Pompey am,- You lie, you are not he. With libbard's head on knee." Biron Well said, old mocker; I must needs be friends with thee. Cost. I Pompey am, Pompey, surnam'd the big,— Cost. It is great, sir;-Pompey surnam'd the great ; That oft in field, with turge and shield, did make my foe to sweat: And travelling along this coast, I here am come by If your ladyship would say, Thanks, Pompey, I had done. Prin. Great thanks, great Pompey. Cost. "Tis not so much worth; but, I hope, I was perfect: I made a little fault in, great. Biron. My hat to a halfpenny, Pompey proves the best worthy. Enter NATHANIEL arm'd, for Alexander. Nath. When in the world I liv'd, I was the world's commander; By east, west, north, and south, I spread my conquering might: My 'scutcheon plain declares that I am Alisander. Boyet. Your nose says, no, you are not; for it stands too right." Biron. Your nose smells, no, in this, most tender- Prin. The conqueror is dismay'd: Proceed, good 4 Labouring here means in the act of parturition. 5 This word is used again by Shakspeare in his 21st Sonnet: Making a couplement of proud compare.' 6 A game at dice, properly called novem quinque, from the principal throws being nine and fire. The first folio reads Abate throw,' &c. The second folio, which reads 'A bare throw,' is evidently right. 7 Pick out. 'Dies in the zeal of that which it presents.' The emendation in the text is Malone's, and he thus en-knees and shoulders, had sometimes by way of orna9 This alludes to the old heroic habits, which, on the deavours to give this obscure passage a meaning. The ment the resemblance of a leopard's or lion's head. See word it, I believe, refers to sport. That sport, says the Cotgrave's Dictionary, in v. Masquine. princess, pleases best, where the actors are least skilful; where zeal strives to please, and the contents, or great things attempted, perish in the very act of being produced, from the ardent zeal of those who present the sportive entertainment. It, however, may refer to contents, and that word may mean the most material part of the exhibition. 9 It should be remembered, to relish this joke, that the head of Alexander was obliquely placed on his shoulders. 10 His (Alexander's) body had so sweet a smell of itselfe that all the apparell he wore next unto his body, tooke thereof a passing delightful savour, as if it had been perfumed. North's Plutarch. Nath. When in the world I liv'd, I was the world's commander ;— Boyet. Most true, 'tis right; you were so, Ali sander. Biron. Pompey the great,Cost. Your servant, and Costard. Biron. Take away the conqueror, take away Alisander. Cost. O, sir, [TO NATH.] you have overthrown Alisander the conqueror! You will be scraped out of the painted cloth for this: your lion, that holds his poll-ax sitting on a close-stool,' will be given to A-jax: he will be the ninth worthy. A conqueror, and afeard to speak! run away for shame, Alisander. [NATH. retires.] There, an't shall please you; a foolish mild man; an honest man, look you, and soon dash'd! He is a marvellous good neighbour, in sooth; and a very good bowler: but, for Alisander, alas, you see how 'tis ;-a little o'erparted:-But there are worthies a coming will speak their mind in some other sort. Prin. Stand aside, good Pompey. Enter HOLOFERNES arm'd, for Judas, and MOTH arm'd, for Hercules. Hol. Great Hercules is presented by this imp, Whose club kill'd Cerberus, that three-headed canus, And, when he was a babe, a child, a shrimp, Thus did he strangle serpents in his manus: Quoniam, he seemeth in minority; Keep some state in thy exit, and vanish. Hol. Judas I am,— Dum. A Judas! Hol. Not Iscariot, sir. Judas I am, yeleped Machabæus, Prin. Alas, poor Machabæus, how hath he been baited! Enter ARMADO arm'd, for Hector. Biron. Hide thy head, Achilles; here comes Hector in arms. Dum. Though my mocks come home by me, I will now be merry. King. Hector was but a Trojan in respect of this. Dum. I think, Hector was not so clean-timber'd. Boyet. No; he is best indued in the small. Dum. He's a god or a painter; for he makes faces. Arm. The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty, gift,Gave Hector a Dum. A gilt nutmeg Biron. A lemon. Long. Stuck with cloves. Dum. No, cloven. Arm. Peace. [Exit MoTH. against Hector. Dum. Judas Machabeus clipt, is plain Judas. Biron. A kissing traitor:-How art thou prov'd Judas? Hol. Judas I am, Dum. The more shame for you, Judas. Hol. What mean you, sir ? Boyet. To make Judas hang himself. Hol. Begin, sir; you are my elder. Biron. Well follow'd: Judas was hang'd on an elder. Hol. I will not be put out of countenance. Biron. Because thou hast no face. Hol. What is this? Boyet. A cittern head.2 Dum. The head of a bodkin. Biron. A death's face in a ring. Long. The face of an old Roman coin, scarce seen. Boyet. The pummel of Caesar's faulchion. Biron. Ay, and worn in the cap of a tooth-drawer: And now, forward; for we have put thee in coun tenance. Hol. You have put me out of countenance. Biron. False; we have given thee faces. Hol. But you have out-fac'd them all. Biron. An thou wert a lion, we would do so. Boyet. Therefore, as he is, an ass, let him go. And so adieu, sweet Jude! nay, why dost thou stay? Dum. For the latter end of his name. Biron. For the ass to the Jude? give it him :Jud-as, away. Hol. This is not generous, not gentle, not humble. Boyet. A light for monsieur Judas: it grows dark, he may stumble. 1 This alludes to the arms given, in the old history of the Nine Worthies, to Alexander, 'the which did bear geules a lion or, seiante in a chayer, holding a battle-axe argent. 2 The cittern, a musical instrument like a guitar, had usually a head grotesquely carved at the extremity of the neck and finger-board: hence these jests. 3 i. e. a soldier's powder-horn. 4 A brooch was an ornamental clasp for fastering Dum. Ay, and Hector's a greyhound. Arm. The sweet war-man is dead and rotten; sweet chucks, beat not the bones of the buried: when he breath'd, he was a man-But I will forward with my device: Sweet royalty, [to the Prineess] bestow on me the sense of hearing. [BIRON whispers COSTARD. Prin. Speak, brave Hector; we are much delighted. Arm. I do adore thy sweet grace's slipper. Boyet. Loves her by the foot. Dum. He may not by the yard. Arm. This Hector far surmounted Hannibal,— Cost. The party is gone, fellow Hector, she is gone; she is two months on her way. the Arm. What meanest thou? Cost. Faith, unless you play the honest Trojan, poor wench is cast away: she's quick; the child brags in her belly already; 'tis yours. Arm. Dost thou infamonize me among potentates? thou shalt die. Biron. Pompey is moved :-More Ates," more Ates; stir them on! stir them on! Dum. Hector will challenge him. Biron. Ay, if he have no more man's blood in's belly than will sup a flea. Arm. By the north pole, I do challenge thee. Cost. I will not fight with a pole, like a northern man; I'll slash; I'll do it by the sword:-I pray you, let me borrow my arms again. hat-bands, girdles, mantles, &c. a brooch of lead, be cause of his pale and wan complexion, his leaden hue. 5 Trojan is supposed to have been a cant term for a thief. It was, however, a familiar name for any equal or inferior. 6 i. e. lance-men. 7 i. e. more instigation. Ate was the goddess of dis. cord. 8 Vir Borealis, a clown. See An Optick Glasse of Humours, by T. W. 1663. The reference may be, however, to the particular use of the quarter-staff in the northern counties. Dum. Room for the incensed worthies. Cost. I'll do it in my shirt. Dum. Most resolute Pompey! Moth. Master, let me take you a buttonhole lower. Do you not see, Pompey is uncasing for the combat? What mean you? you will lose your reputation. Arm. Gentlemen, and soldiers, pardon me; I will not combat in my shirt. Dum. You may not deny it; Pompey hath made the challenge. Arm. Sweet bloods, I both may and will. Biron. What reasons have you for't? Arm. The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt; I go woolward' for penance. "Boyet. True, and it was enjoin'd him in Rome for want of linen since when, I'll be sworn, he wore none, but a dish-clout of Jaquenetta's; and that a' wears next his heart for a favour. Enter a Messenger MONSIEUR MERCADE. Mer. God save you, Madam. Prin. Welcome, Mercade; But that thou interrupt'st our merriment. Mer. I am sorry, madam; for the news I bring, Is heavy in my tongue. The king your fatherPrin. Dead, for my life. Mer. Even so; my tale is told. Biron. Worthies, away; the scene begins to cloud. Arm. For mine own part, I breathe free breath: I have seen the day of wrong through the little hole of discretion, and I will right myself like a soldier. [Exeunt Worthies. 2 King. How fares your majesty? Prin. Boyet, prepare; I will away to-night. For all your fair endeavours; and entreat, Put on by us, if, in your heavenly eyes, Prin. We have receiv'd your letters, full of love; Long. So did our looks. Ros. We did not quote them so. King. Now, at the latest minute of the hour, Grant us your loves. Prin. A time, methinks, too short Change not your offer made in heat of blood; Come challenge, challenge me by these deserts, I will be thine; and, till that instant, shut My woful self up in a mourning house; For the remembrance of my father's death. King. The extreme parts of time extremely form If this thou do deny, let our hands part; All causes to the purpose of his speed; That which long process could not arbitrate: The holy suit which fain it would convince ; From what it purpos'd; since, to wail friends lost, Prin. I understand you not; my griefs are double. Biron. Honest plain words best pierce the ear of grief; And by these badges understand the king. 1 That is, clothed in wool, and not in linen. A pen ance often enjoined in times of superstition. One may 2 Armado probably means to say in his affected style that he had discovered he was wronged.' see day at a little hole,' is a proverb. Neither intitled in the other's heart. King. If this, or more than this, I would deny, To flatter up these powers of mine with rest, The sudden hand of death close up mine eye! Hence ever then my heart is in thy breast. Biron. And what to me, my love? and what to me? Ros. You must be purged too, your sins are rank; Therefore, if you my favour mean to get, You are attaint with faults and perjury; A twelvemonth shall you spend, and never rest, But seek the weary beds of people sick. Dum. But what to me, my love? but what to me? Kath. A wife!-A beard, fair health, and hon Long. I'll stay with patience: but the time is long. Mar. The liker you; few taller are so young. Ros. Oft have I heard of you, my lord Biron, To weed this wormwood from your fruitful brain; Biron. To move wild laughter in the throat of It cannot be; it is impossible: Mirth cannot move a soul in agony. grace, Ros. Why, that's the way to choke a gibing spirit, Of him that hears it, never in the tongue Deaf'd with the clamours of their own dear2 groans, Will hear your idle scorns, continue then, Biron. A twelvemonth? well, befall what will befall, I'll jest a twelvemonth in an hospital. Prin. Ay, sweet my lord; and so I take my leave. King. No, madam; we will bring you on your And then 'twill end. Biron. That's too long for a play. Arm. Sweet majesty, vouchsafe me,Prin. Was not that Hector? Dum. The worthy knight of Troy. Arm. I will kiss thy royal finger and take leave: I am a votary; I have vowed to Jaquenetta to hold the plough for her sweet love three years. But, most esteemed greatness, will you hear the dialogue that the two learned men have compiled, in praise of the owl and the cuckoo? it should have followed in the end of our show. King. Call them forth quickly, we will do so. Arm. Holla! approach. Enter HOLOFERNES, NATHANIEI, MOTH, CosTARD, and others. This side is Hiems, winter; this Ver, the spring; the one maintain'd by the owl, the other by the cuckoo. Ver, begin. SONG. I. Spring. When daisies pied, and violets blue, Cuckoo, cuckoo,-O word of fear, When shepherds pipe on oaten straws, And merry larks are ploughmen's clocks, And maidens bleach their summer smocks, Cuckoo, cuckoo,-O word of fear, III. IN this play, which all the editors have concurred to censure, and some have rejected as unworthy of our poet, it must be confessed that there are many passages mean, childish, and vulgar; and some which ought not to have been exhibited, as we are told they were, to a maiden queen. But there are scattered through the whole many sparks of genius; nor is there any play that has more evident marks of the hand of Shakspeare, JOHNSON. |