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atured to open their lips in converfation. It was not a little diverting the other day to obferve a lady reading a poft letter, and at these words-' After all her airs, he has heard fome story or other, and the match is broke off,' give orders in the midst of her reading Put to the horfes.' That a young woman of merit had miffed an advantageous fettlement, was news not to be delayed, left fomebody elfe fhould have given her malicious acquaintance that fatisfaction before her. The unwillingness to receive good tidings is a quality as infeparable from a fcandalbearer, as the readiness to divulge bad. But, alas! how wretchedly low and contemptible is that state of mind, that cannot be pleafed but by what is the fubject of lamentation! This temper has ever been in the highest degree odious to gallant fpirits. The Perfian foldier, who was heard reviling Alexander the Great, was well admonished by his officer Sir, you are paid to fight against 'Alexander, and not to rail at him.'

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There is a town in Warwickshire of good note, and formerly pretty famous for much animofity and diffenfion, the chief families of which have now turned all their whifpers, backbitings, envies, and private malices, into mirth and entertainment, by means of a peevish old gentlewoman, known by the title of the Lady Bluemantle. This heroine had for many years together outdone the whole fifterhood of goffips, in invention, quick utterance, and unprovoked malice. This good body is of a lasting constitution, though extremely decayed in her eyes, and decrepid in her feet. The two circumftances of being always at home from her lameness, and very attentive from her blindness, make her lodgings the receptacle of all that paffes in town, good or bad; but for the lat ter fhe feems to have the better memory. There is another thing to be noted of her, which is, that as it is ufual with old people, fhe has a livelier memory of thi gs which paffed when she was very young, than of late years. Add to all this, that he does not only not love any body, but the hates every body. The flatue in Rome does not serve to vent malice half fo well, as this old lady does to disappoint it. She does not know the author of any thing that is told her, but can readily repeat the matter itfelf; therefore, though the expofes all the whole town, the offends no one body in it. She is fo exquifitely restlefs and peevish, that the quarrels with all about her, and fometimes in a freak will inftantly change her habitation. To indulge this humour, fle is led about the grounds belonging to the fame house he is in, and the perfons to whom the is to remove, being in the plot, are ready to receive her at her own cham ber again. At flated times, the gentlewoman at whofe houfe the fuppofes the is at the time, is fent for to quarrel with, according to her common cuftom: when they have a mind to drive the jeft, she is immediately urged to that degree, that, he will board in a family with which. fhe has never yet been; and away fhe will go this inftant, and tell them all that the reft have been saying of them. By this means he has been an inha bitant of every houfe in the place without firring from the fame habitation and the many ftories which every body furnishes her with to favour that deceit, make her the general intelligencer

Cicero, in one of his pleadings, defending his client from general fcandal, fays very handsomely, and with much reafon There are many who have ⚫ particular engagements to the profecxtor: there are many who are known to have ill-will to him for whom I appear; there are many who are naturally addicted to defamation, and 'envious of any good to any man, who may have contributed to fpread re'ports of this kind: for nothing is fo * swift as scandal, nothing is more eafi. ly fent abroad, nothing received with more welcome, nothing diffufes itfelf fo univerfally. I fhall not defire, that if any report to our difadvantage has any ground for it, you would overlook or extenuate it: but if there be any ' thing advanced, without a perfon who can lay whence he had it, or which is attefted by one who forgot who told him it, or who had it from one of fo little confideration that he did not ⚫ then think it worth his notice; all fuch teftimonies as thefe, I know, you will think too flight to have any credit against the innocence and honour of your fellow-citizens.' When an ill report is traced, it very often vanishes among fuch as the orator has here recited. And how defpicable a creature muft that be, who is in pain for what palles among fo frivolous a people?

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of the town of all that can be faid of one woman against another. Thus groundlefs ftories die away, and fome times truths are fmothered under the general word, when they have a mind to difcountenance a thing-Oh! that is in my Lady Bluemantle's memoirs.' Whoever receives impreffions to the difadvantage of others without examination, is to be had in no other credit for intelligence than this good Lady

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Bluemantle, who is fubjected to have her ears impofed upon for want of other helps to better information. Add to this, that other fcandal-bearers fufpend the ufe of thefe faculties which the has loft, rather than apply them to do justice to their neighbours; and I think, for the fervice of my fair readers, to acquaint them, that there is a voluntary Lady Bluemantlé at every vifit in town.

N° CCCCXXVIII. FRIDAY, JULY 1I.

OCCUPET EXTREMUM SCABIES

THE DEVIL TAKE THE HINDMOST!

T is an impertinent and unreasonable fault in converfation, for one man to take up all the difcourfe. It may poffibly be objected to me myfelf, that I am guilty in this kind, in entertaining the town every day, and not giving fo many able perfons who have it more in their power, and as much in their inclination, an opportunity to oblige mankind with their thoughts. Besides,' faid one whom I overheard the other day, why muft this paper turn altogether upon topics of learning and morality? Why should it pretend only to wit, humour, or the like? Things which are useful only to amufe men of literature and fuperior education. I would have it confift alfo of all things which may be neceffary or ufeful to any part of fociety, and the mechanic arts fhould have their place as well as the liberal. The ways of gain, husbandry, and thrift, will ferve a greater number of people, than difcourfes upon what was well faid or ⚫ done by fuch a philofopher, hero, ge. neral, or poet." I no fooner heard this critic talk of my works, but I mi nuted what he had faid; and from that inftant refolved to enlarge the plan of my fpeculations, by giving notice to all perfons of all orders, and each fex, that if they are pleased to send me difcourfes, with their names and places of abode to them, fo that I can be fatisfied the writings are authentic, fuch their la bours Thall be faithfully inferted in this paper. It will be of much more confequence to a youth in his apprenticefhip, to know by what rules and arts fuch a one became fheriff of the city of

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HOR. ARS POET. V. 417.

ENGLISH PROVERB.

London, than to fee the fign of one of his own quality with a lion's heart in each hand. The world indeed is enchanted with romantic and improbable atchievements, when the plain path to refpeative greatnefs and fuccefs in the way of life a man is in, is wholly overlooked. Is it poffible that a young man at prefent could pafs his time better, than in reading the hiftory of ftocks, and knowing by what fecret fprings they have had fuch fudden afcents and falls in the fame day? Could he be better conducted in his way to wealth, which is the great article of life, than in a treatise dated from Change Alley by an able proficient there? Nothing certainly could be more ufeful, than to be well inftructed in his hopes and fears; to be diffident when others exult, and with a fecret joy buy when others think it their intereft to fell. I invite all perfons who have any thing to fay for the profitable information of the public, to take their turns in my paper: they are welcome, from the late noble inventor of the longitude, to the humble author of strops for razors. If to carry fhips in fafety, to give help to people toft in a troubled fea, without knowing to what fhore they bear, what rocks to avoid, or what coaft to pray for in their extremity, be a worthy labour, and an invention that deferves a statue; at the fame time, he who has found a means to let the inftrument which is to make your visage lefs horrible, and your person more fmug, eafy in the operation, is worthy of fome kind of good reception: if things of high moment meet with renown, thofe of little confideration, fince of any confideration,

confideration, are not to be defpifed. In order that no merit may lie hid, and no art unimproved, I repeat it, that I call artificers, as well as philofophers, to my affiftance in the public fervice. It would be of great ufe if we had an exact hiftory of the fucceffes of every great fhop within the city-walls, what tracts of land have been purchased by a conftant attendance within a walk of thirty foot. If it could alfo be noted in the equipage of thofe who are afcended from the fuccefsful trade of their ancestors, into figure and equipage, fuch accounts would quicken industry, in the purfuit of fuch acquifitions, and difcountenance luxury in the enjoyment of them.

To diverfify these kinds of informations, the industry of the female world is not to be unobferved: the to whofe houfhold-virtues it is owing, that men do honour to her husband, fhould be recorded with veneration; the who has wasted his labours, with infamy, When we are come into domeftic life in this manner, to awaken caution and attendance to the main point, it would not be amifs to give now and then a touch of tragedy, and defcribe that most dreadful of all human conditions, the cafe of bankruptcy; how plenty, credit, chear fulness, full hopes, and easy poffeffions, are in an instant turned into penury, faint afpects, diffidence, forrow, and mifery? how the man, who with an open hand the day before could adminifter to the extremities of others, is shunned today by the friend of his bofom. It would be ufeful to fhew how juft this is on the negligent, how lamentable on

the induftrious. A paper written by a merchant, might give this ifland a true fenfe of the worth and importance of his character: it might be visible from what he could fay, that no foldier entering a breach adventures more for honour, than the trader does for wealth to his country. In both cafes the adventurers have their own advantage, but I know no cafes wherein every body-elle is a fharer in the fuccefs.

It is objected by readers of history, that the battles in thofe narrations are fcarce ever to be understood. This miffortune is to be afcribed to the ignorance of hiftorians in the methods of drawing up, changing the forms of a battalia, and the enemy retreating from, as well as approaching to, the charge. But in the difcourfes from the correfpondents, whom I now invite, the danger will be of another kind; and it is neceffary to caution them only against ufing terms of art, and defcribing things that are familiar to them in words unknown to the reader. I promise myfelf a great harvest of new circumstances, perfons, and things, from this propofal; and a world, which many think they are well acquainted with, difcovered as wholly new. This fort of intelligence will give a lively image of the chain and mutual dependance of human fociety, take off impertinent prejudices, enlarge the minds of thofe, whofe views are confined to their own circumftances; and in fhort, if the knowing in feveral arts, profeffions, and trades, will exert themfelves, it cannot but produce a new field of diversion, and instruction more agreeable than has yet appeared.

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fects. My letters mention particular circumstances of two or three perfons,

own accord, and notified that they were withdrawn, with the reafons of it to the company, in their respective memorials.

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THAT confcious of her own want of merit, accompanied with a vanity of being admired, she had gone into exile of her own accord.

She is fenfible, that a vain person is the most infufferable creature living in a well-bred affembly.

That the defired, before the appeared in public again, fhe might have affurances, that though the might be thought handfome, there might not more addrefs of compliment be paid to her, than to the reft of the company.

That the conceived it a kind of fuperiority, that one perfon fhould take upon him to commend another.

Laftly, That fhe went into the infirmary, to avoid a particular person who took upon him to profefs an admiration of her.

She therefore prayed, that to applaud out of due place might be declared an offence, and punished in the fame manner with detraction, in that the latter did but report perfons defective, and the former made them fo.

All which is fubmitted, &c.

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THE MEMORIAL OF FRANK JOLLY,

SHEWETH,

TH

HAT he hath put himself into the infirmary, in regard he is fenfible of a certain ruftic mirth which renders him unfit for polite converfation.

That he intends to prepare himself by abftinence and thin diet to be one of the company.

That at prefent he comes into a room, as if he were an exprefs from abroad.

That he has chofen an apartment with a matted anti-chamber, to practife motion without being heard.

That he bows, talks, drinks, eats, and helps himself, before a glass, to learn to act with moderation.

That by reafon of his luxuriant health he is oppreffive to perfons of composed behaviour.

That he is endeavouring to forget the word Phaw, pfhaw.'

That he is alfo weaning himself from his cane.

That when he has learnt to live without his faid cane, he will wait on the company, &c.

THE

THE MEMORIAL

SHEWETK,

BARB, ESQ.

OF JOHN RHU indulgence in particularities of humour, is the feed of making half our time hang in fufpence, or wafte away under real difcompofures.

THAT your petitioner has retired to the infirmary, but that he is in perfect good health, except that he has by long ufe, and for want of difcourfe, contracted an habit of complaint that he is fick.

That he wants for nothing under the fun, but what to say, and therefore has fallen into this unhappy malady of complaining that he is fick.

That this cuftom of his makes him, by his own confeffion, fit only for the infirmary, and therefore he has not waited for being fentenced to it.

That he is confcious there is nothing more improper than fuch a complaint in good company, in that they muft pity, whether they think the lamenter ill or not; and that the complainant must make a filly figure, whether he is pitied or not.

Your petitioner humbly prays, that he may have time to know how he does, and he will make his appearance.

The Valetudinarian was likewife eafily excufed and this fociety being refolved not only to make it their bufinefs to pafs their time agreeably for the prefent feafon, but allo to commence fuch habits in themselves as may be of use in their future conduct in general, are very ready to give into a fancied or real incapacity to join with their measures, in order to have no humourift, proud man, impertinent, or fufficient fellow, break in upon their happinefs. Great evils feldom happen to difturb company; but

STR,

Among other things it is carefully provided, that there may not be difagreeable familiarities. No one is to appear in the public rooms undreffed, or enter abruptly into each other's aparthas hitherto been fo careful in his behament, without intimation. Every one viour, that there has but one offender in ten days time been fent into the infir his cards at whift. mary, and that was for throwing away

He has offered his fubmiffion in the following terms.

THE HUMBLE PETITION OF JEOFFRY HOTSPUR, ESQ.

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N° CCCCXXX. MONDAY, JULY 14.

QUARE PEREGRINUM VICINIA RAUCA RECLAMAT.

THE CROWD REPLIES,

HOR. EP. XVII. L.I. v. 62.

GO SEEK A STRANGER TO BELIEVE THY LIES.

As you are a Spectator-general, you

S you are a Spectator-general, you

foever looks ill, and is offenfive to the ight; the worst nuifance of which kind, methinks, is the fcandalous appearance of poor in all parts of this wealthy city. Such miferable objects affect the com

CREECH.

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