feveral conceits in it: I would not therefore have my reader difcouraged, if he does not take them at the first perusal. FROM SIR, TO MR. SPECTATOR. CAM THE monopoly of puns in this univerfity has been an immemorial privilege of the Johnians; and we cannot help refenting the late invafion of our ancient right as to that particular, by a little pretender to clenching in a neighbouring college, who in an application to you by way of letter, a while ago, ftiled himself Philobrune. Dear Sir, as you are by character a profeffed wellwifher to fpeculation, you will excufe a remark which this gentleman's paffion for the Brunette has fuggefted to a brother theorift: it is an offer towards a of the people called Quakers, would not be a very ferviceable expedient, and abate that overflow of light which fhines within them fo powerfully, that it dazzles their eyes, and dances them into a thoufand vagaries of error and enthusiasm. Thefe reflections may impart fome light towards a discovery of the origin of punning among us, and the foundation of it's prevailing fo long in this famous body. It is notorious from the inftance under confideration, that it must be owing chiefly to the ufe of brown jugs, muddy belch, and the fumes of a certain memorable place of rendezvous with us at meals, known by the name of Staincoat Hole: for the atmosphere of the kitchen, like the tail of a comet, predominates leaft about the fire, but refides behind and fills the fragrant receptacle above-mentioned. Befides, it is farther obfervable, that the delicate mechanical account of his lapfe to pun- fpirits among us, who declare against ning, for he belongs to a fet of mortals thefe naufeous proceedings, fip tea, and who value themselves upon an uncom- put up for critic and amour, profefs mon mastery in the more humane and likewife an equal abhorrence for punpolite part of letters. A conqueft by one ning, the ancient innocent diverfion of of this fpecies of females gives a very this fociety. After all, Sir, though it edd turn to the intellectuals of the cap- may appear fomething abfurd, that I tivated perfon, and very different from feem to approach you with the air of an that way of thinking which a triumph advocate for punning, (you who have from the eyes of another, more empha- juftified your cenfures of the practice in tically of the fair-fex, does generally oc- a fet differtation upon that fubject;) cafion. It fills the imagination with an yet I am confident, you will think it affemblage of fuch ideas and pictures as abundantly atoned for by obferving, are hardly any thing but shade, fuch as that this humbler exercise may be as innight, the devil, &c. Thefe portraitures ftrumental in diverting us from any invery near overpower the light of the un-novating schemes and hypothesis in wit, derstanding, almoft benight the facul- as dwelling upon honeft orthodox logic ties, and give that melancholy tincture would be in fecuring us from herefy in to the most fanguine complexion, which religion. Had Mr. Wn's researches this gentleman calls an inclination to be been confined within the bounds of Rain a brown-study, and is ufually at- mus or Crackenthorp, that learned newstended with worse confequences, in cafe monger might have acquiefced in what of a repulfe. During this twilight of en- the holy oracles pronounced upon the tellects, the patient is extremely apt, as deluge, like other Christians; and had love is the most witty paflion in nature, the furprising Mr. Ly been content to offer at fome pert fallies now and then, with the employment of refining upon by way of flourish, upon the amiable in- Shakespeare's points and quibbles, (for chantrefs, and unfortunately stumbles which he must be allowed to have a fuupon that mongrel mifcreated (to speak perlative genius) and now and then in Miltonic) kind of wit, vulgarly term- penning a catch or a ditty, inftead of ed the pun. It would not be much amifs indicting odes, and fonnets, the gentleto confult Dr. TW (who is men of the Bon Goût in the pit would certainly a very able projector, and never have been put to all that grimace whole fyftem of divinity and spiritual in damning the frippery of state, the mechanics obtains very much among poverty and languor of thought, the the better part of our under-graduates) unnatural wit, and inartificial structure whether a general inter-marriage enjoin- of his dramas. I am, Sir, your very ed by parliament, between this fifterhood humble fervant, of the olive-beauties, and the fraternity PETER DE QUir. No N° CCCXCVII. THURSDAY, JUNE 5. DOLOR IPSE DISERTUM FECERAT OVID. METAM. L. XIII. V. 225. FOR GRIEF INSPIR'D ME THEN WITH ELOQUENCE. DRYDEN. ་ S the Stoic philofophers difcard all allow a wife man fo much as to pity the afflictions of another. If thou feet thy friend in trouble,' fays Epictetus, ⚫ thou mayeft put on a look of forrow, and condole with him, but take care that thy forrow be not real.' The more rigid of this fect would not comply fo far as to fhew even fuch an outward appearance of grief; but when one told them of any calamity that had hefallen even the nearest of their acquaintance, would immediately reply What is that to me?' If you aggravated the circumstances of the affliction, and fhewed how one misfortune was followed by another, the answer was ftill- All this may be true, but what is it to me?' For my own part, I am of opinion, compaffion does not only refine and civilize human nature, but has fomething in it more pleafing and agreeable than what can be met with in fuch an indolent happiness, fuch an indifference to mankind as that in which the Stoics placed their wisdom. As love is the moft delightful paffion, pity is nothing elfe but love foftened by a degree of forrow: in fhort, it is a kind of pleasing anguish, as well as generous fympathy, that knits mankind together, and blends then in the fame common lot. Thofe who have laid down rules for rhetoric or poetry, advise the writer to work himfelf up, if poflible, to the pitch of forrow which he endeavours to produce in others. There are none therefore who fir up pity fo much as thofe who indite their own fufferings. Grief has a natural eloquence belonging to it, and breaks out in more moving fentiments than can be fupplied by the finett imagination. Nature on this occation dictates a thoufand paffionate things which cannot be fupplied by art, It is for this reafon that the fhort fpeeches or fentences which we often meet with in histories, make a deeper impretiion on the mind of the reader, than the most laboured ftrokes of a wellwritten tragedy. Truth and matter of fact fets the perfon actually before us in the one, whom fiction places at a greater diftance from us in the other. I do not remember to have feen any ancient or modern story more affecting than a letter of Ann of Boleyn, wife to King Henry the Eighth, and mother to Queen Elizabeath, which is ftill extant in the Catton Library, as writen by her own hand. Shakespeare himself could not have made her talk in a strain fo fuitable to her condition and character. One fees in it the expoftulation of a flighted lover, the refentments of an injured woman, and the forrows of an imprisoned queen. I need not acquaint my reader that this princess was then under profecution for difloyalty to the king's bed, and that fhe was afterwards publicly beheaded upon the fame account, though this profecution was believed by many to proceed, as the herself intimates, rather from the king's love to Jane Seymour, than from any actual crime in Ann of Boleyn. QUEEN ANN BOLEYN'S LAST LET TER TO KING HENRY. Cotton Lib. SIR, Y YOUR Grace's difpleaOtho C. 10. fure, and my imprisonment, are things fo ftrange unto me, as what to write, or what to excufe, I am altogether ignorant. Whereas you fend unto me, (willing me to confefs a truth, and fo obtain your favour) by fuch an one, whom you know to be mine ancient profefted enemy, I no fooner received this meflage by him, than I rightly conceived your meaning; and, if, as you fay, confeffing a truth indeed may procure my fafety, I fhall with all willingneis and duty perform your command. But let not your Grace ever imagine, that your poor wife will ever be brought to acknowledge a fault, where not fo much 213 much as a thought thereof preceded. And to speak a truth, never prince had wife more loyal in all duty, and in all true affection, than you have ever found in Ann Boleyn: with which name and place I could willingly have contented myfelf, if God and your Grace's pleafure had been fo pleafed. Neither did I at any time fo far forget myself in my exaltation or received queenship, but that I always looked for fuch an alteration as I now find; for the ground of my preferment being on no furer foundation than your Grace's fancy, the leaft alteration I knew was fit and fufficient to draw that fancy to fome other fubject. You have chofen me from a low eftate to be your queen and companion, far beyond my defert or defire. If then you found me worthy of fuch honour, good your Grace let not any light fancy, or bad counsel of mine enemies, withdraw your princely favour from me; neither let that ftain, that unworthy ftain, of a difloyal heart towards your good grace, ever caft fo foul a blot on your moft dutiful wife, and the infant princefs your daughter. Try me, good king, but let me have a lawful trial, and let not my fworn enemies fit as my accusers and judges; yea let me receive an open trial, for my truth fhall fear no open fhame; then fhall you fee either mine innocence cleared, your fufpicion and confcience satisfied, the ignominy and flander of the world stopped, or my guilt openly declared. So that whatfoever God or you may determine of me, your Grace may be freed from an open cenfure, and mine offence being fo lawfully proved, your Grace is at liberty, both before God and man, not only to execute worthy punishment on me as an unlawful wife, but to follow your affection, already fettled on that party, for whofe fake I am now as I am, whose name I could fome good while fince have pointed unto, your Grace not being ig norant of my fufpicion therein. But if you have already determined of me, and that not only my death, but an infamous flander must bring you the enjoying of your defired happinefs; then I defire of God, that he will pardon your great fin therein, and likewife mine enemies, the inftruments thereof, and that he will not call you to a ftrict account for your unprincely and cruel ufage of me, at his general judgment-feat, where both you and myself muft fhortly appear, and in whose judgment I doubt not (whatfoever the world may think of me) mine innocence fhall be openly known, and fufficiently cleared. My laft and only request shall be, that myself may only bear the burden of your Grace's displeasure, and that it may not touch the innocent fouls of those poor gentlemen, who (as I understand) are likewife in trait imprisonment for my fake. If ever I have found favour in your fight, if ever the name of Ann Boleyn hath been pleafing in your ears, then let me obtain this request, and I will fo leave to trouble your Grace any further, with mine earnest prayers to the Trinity to have your Grace in his good keeping, and to direct you in all your actions. From my doleful prifon in the Tower, this fixth of May; your most loyal and ever faithful wife, L ANN BOLEYN. YOU'D BE A FOOL HOR. SAT. III. L. 2. 7. 271. WITH ART AND WISDOM, AND BE MAD BY RULE. CYNTHIO and Flavia are per fons of distinction in this town, who have been lovers these ten months laft paft, and writ to each other for galLantry fake, under thofe feigned names; Mr. Such-a-one and Mrs. Such-a-one not being capable of raifing the foul out of the ordinary tracts and paffages of Life, up to that elevation which makes CRIECH. the life of the enamoured so much fu perior to that of the rest of the world. But ever since the beauteous Cecilia has made fuch a figure as the now does in the circle of charming women, Cynthio has been fecretly one of her adorers. Cecilia has been the fineft woman in town these three months, and fo long Cynthio has acted the part of a lover very 5 1 aukwardly aukwardly in the prefence of Flavia. report of this circumftance foon flew up ftairs, and Robin could not deny but the gentleman favoured his mafter; yet if it was he, he was fure the lady was but his coufin whom he had seen ask for him; adding, that he believed the was a poor relation, because they made her wait one morning until he was awake. Flavia immediately writ the following epistle, which Robin brought to Will's. IT is in vain to deny it, basest, falsest of mankind; my maid, as well as the bearer faw you. The injured FLAVIA. I will not open the letter, which my Cynthio writ upon the misapprehenfion you must have been under when you writ, for want of hearing the whole circumftance. Robin came back in an instant, and Cynthio anfwered MADAM, I MADAM, Have that prejudice in favour of all you do, that it is not poffible for you AFTER THREE, JUNE 4 pleafing to your obedient fervant, to determine upon what will not be very HALF AN HOUR, SIX MINUTES WILL'S COFFEE-MOUSE. IT is certain I went by your lodging with a gentlewoman to whom I have the honour to be known; fhe is indeed my relation, and a pretty fort of woman. But your starting manner of writing, and owning you have not done me the honour fo much as to open my letter, has in it fomething very unaccountable, and alarms one that has had thoughts of paffing his days with you. But I am born to admire you with all your little imperfections. CYNTHIO. Robin run back, and brought for anfwer EXACT Sir, that are at Will's cof. fee-houfe fix minutes after three, June 4; one that has had thoughts, and all my little imperfections. Sir, come to me immediately, or I fhall determine what may perhaps not be very pleafing to you. FLAVIA. Robin gave an account that she looked exceffive angry when the gave him the letter; and that he told her, for fhe asked, that Cynthio only looked at the clock, taking fnuff, and writ two or three words on the top of the letter when he gave him his. Now the plot thickened fo well, as that Cynthio faw he had not much more to accomplish being irreconcileably banifhed, he writ CYNTHIO. Robin had a crown for his afternoon's Cecilia to revenge the injury done to work; and this is published to admonish Flavia. T guilty of. The latter affumes a face of fanctity, and covers a multitude of vices under a feeming religious deport ment. crify, which differs from both thefe, and But there is another kind of hypowhich I intend to make the fubject of this paper: I mean that hypocrify, by which a man does not only deceive the world, but very often impofes on him5 I 2 felf; |