as I never, even by chance, could manage to do the right thing at the right time, I have given up even trying to propel balls.'

You can't play worse than I do, old fellow, at all events,' broke in Allerdyce, 'for I'm a laughing-stock to my children (in whom, I am afraid, the bump of reverence is not very largely developed); but you'll be sure to play well enough for a monster croquet party; bad players get on just as well as good ones in a crowd, that's one comfort. At all events you can see Repton, which is well worth a visit, for it's a fine old place, and will of course look its best in holiday dress. The day after to-morrow is to be the grand inauguration of the weekly Wednesday receptions Mrs. Sackville has announced her intention of holding, so I suppose the World and his wife will be there, and conversation, croquet, and tea furnished ad lib., if the weather be fine.'

Discussing the coming fête, in all its different aspects, pretty well occupied the time till our arrival at Maplehurst, where, on driving up to the gravel sweep, we perceived a game of croquet in active progress on the ground near the hall door. Here Allerdyce had told us that his young people were always as sedulously at work as if they were laudably trying to qualify for a degree in croquet, and the truth of his words was manifest. Of course we went over to look at them; and found Tom Allerdyce using the most eloquent arguments to persuade his elder sister Kate not to hit the winning peg, and so put herself out of the game. 'It would be just madness,' he was enunciating with all the zeal of sixteen, as we came up; of course go at the blue ball, and croquet it away-then go at red, and do the same for him, and then come gently down to me, lie up close, and we'll hit the peg together my next innings.'

A charming programme, if it had but been carried out; but, alas! the fates decreed otherwise. Even the best - devised plans of humanity are liable to fail. Whether Kate's nerve failed her from over-anxiety, at the critical

VOL. V.-NO. XXXI.

moment, I cannot say, but so it was that the ball, sent apparently with such unerring aim, growing slower and slower in its course, finally stopped just an inch or two short of its destination; red ball was at once down on it, successfully exiled both it and its white partner, and at the next stroke had the game. We did not wait, however, to hear the end of the storm of recriminations Tom and his sister hurled at each other at finding the victory unexpectedly snatched from them at the very last moment, for Mrs. Allerdyce appeared on the scene, brought us to the house, and tried to inveigle us into partaking of an afternoon tea. My daughter, I am sorry to record, fell a victim to her blandishments, for, alas! flesh is weak; but as for me, sternly did I reprobate the degenerate and luxurious age which allows such practices. I astonished even myself by my eloquence, as I held forth against perpetual meals, and the havoc wrought in the nervous system by the unceasing tea-drinking that ladies especially now patronize. How, indeed, is it possible to appreciate the delicacy of the entrées, the juiciness of the joint, when gorged with cakes or bread and butter, and feeling oneself a walking reservoir of liquid? Truly human nature is perverse, but, alas! how helpless is man! Even in my own house, I blush to record the fact, surreptitious and irregular 'teas' take place, excused under the specious reasoning, 'that it is a necessity to pander to the depraved tastes of visitors.' They are, however, given under protest; for when they come to my knowledge, sternly do I check the morbid fancy.

Mrs. Allerdyce seemed, I am happy to say, struck by my arguments, and hoped I would give Mrs. Sackville the benefit of them at second hand. Ever anxious to do good, I promised, if opportunity served, to enunciate my views on the subject at Repton Park.

The whole of the next day we were kept on thorns by the weatherglass, which, with characteristic fickleness, executed feats of tumbling, which could only be accounted for by its mercurial temperament, for

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when Wednesday appeared, it came decked in all the most glorious panoply of a perfect June morning.

Apollo was in one of his happiest moods and most fascinating tempers, and sent his sunbeams sparkling forth with the most profuse prodigality, as if bent on gladdening the hearts of all by the glory of their beauty. At about 2'30 P.M. we got under weigh; some of the party in the waggonette, the rest on Allerdyce's Irish jaunting car, which with curious perversity he professes to consider the most perfect mode of progression possible, and vainly endeavoured to induce me to sit with him thereon. I was constant, however, to the waggonette, and we at last started on our five-mile drive through a fine undulating country to Repton-the old trees along the way at times stretching their branches over the road, and furnishing us with a living awning of Gothic fretwork, as we drove along under their shade.

On reaching Repton Park, we found, by the numerous and recent tracks of wheels at the gateway, that we were not the first in the field, and as we progressed along we got glimpses of various equipages converging from various directions towards the house. The approach by which we entered, and which is more than a mile long, is managed with much skill, and passes through great variety of scenery. For the first half-mile or so after entering the demesne, it is fringed by a double avenue of beeches, the long straight vista being closed at the end by the Gothic archway and lodge of the second gate. The scene is then changed, and becomes more open and park-like, embellished by clumps of the fine old trees for which Repton is famous, and by herds of deer, which view our approach with great stoicism, aud hardly take the trouble to move at the sound of the approaching wheels. A little further on we pass through a thick wood of rhododendrons and American plants, and get some very well managed glimpses of the lakes, the latter looking their best in their uniform of sapphire blue, in which they strive to emulate

the bright azure hue of the sky above them. A sudden turn brings us in sight of the house, when a very animated scene burst on our view. The croquet ground on the lawn was crowded with occupants in very magnificent toilettes, the numerous colours in which threw the poor old rainbow quite into the shade; several conveyances were depositing their cargoes of smart ladies and gentlemen on the gravel sweep, while in the distance Aunt Sally's' picturesque garments floated in the breeze.

Mrs. Sackville was standing on the steps as we drove up, and Allerdyce hastened to congratulate her on the beautiful day she had managed to secure for her fête-and in short we talked atmosphere and weather, as it is de rigueur for the British to do when congregated together; for, as has been well observed, a lovely day is the one and only beauty that all can join in praising, without exciting feelings of envy and jealousy. The weather was certainly deserving of all possible praise, but still the subject was perhaps getting threadbare, when the arrival of fresh visitors left us at liberty to depart, and we migrated to the croquet ground.

Here, the presiding genius, Miss Sackville, looking like an Arcadian shepherdess, in white muslin and blue ribbons, was to be seen croquet book in hand, the centre of an eager crowd, trying to arrange the numerous players on each side; a complex problem which seemed very difficult to solve, even after her sister had carried off a large number of players to croquet ground No. 2, myself unhappily amongst the number. But what was I to do, when a very beaming young lady at just the most captivating age hoped I would go with her?" I could not refuse, for I am but a poor weak creature when opposed to a whole battery of feminine charms. Need I say, then, that I went, muttering, however, something en route about 'not knowing the game.'

'Oh, never mind that, Mr. Courtenay,' responded the fair vision at my side, I will teach you.'

But Mr. Courtenay is, I am sure,

really a first-rate player, from his having chosen such a good mallet,' officiously struck in one of the bystanders.

In vain I hastened to assure her that chance alone had chosen it: little by little the delusion spread, and like a snowball gathered as it rolled it was proclaimed that I evidently knew what I was about;' I found my advice even asked on all sides, and my partners actually congratulated on having Mr. Courtenay, the great croqueter,' with them, for to that it actually came at last. The more I disputed the honour, the more persistently was it bestowed on me, until at last I found myself actually beginning to wonder whether it could be true that they were all right, and I labouring under a delusion. Had my past life been a dream? Lost in a clueless labyrinth of doubt and difficulty, I was endeavouring to solve the complex problem, when called on to play. Instantly there was great commotion-every one came crowding up to see ' Mr. Courtenay's stroke.'

Just watch how he holds the mallet,' said one man close to me in an audible whisper to another. 'You see the dodge is to hold it very low down it gives certainty

Oh! when you're through your third hoop,' burst in a little minx of eleven or twelve, rushing breathlessly up, make me ring the bell, do; I'm on your side, the green ball, and have been put away so often

6

'Keep out of the way, Dora, do, and don't distract Mr. Courtenay's attention,' interposed her elder brother. We depend on you, Mr. Courtenay, entirely,' he continued, confidentially to me. 'Our side is doing dreadfully badly. Just look where I've been stuck to for I couldn't say how long; but you can retrieve it all, I know; and when you've gone through your hoops, if you've any Christian benevolence, come and help me.'

All this time I stood still, hoping against hope that some sudden inspiration of genius might seize me, but finding none coming. In the greatness of my dilemme, I be

thought me of Miss Sackville-of her who had kindly volunteered to 'teach me,' and hastened to place myself at her orders. Alas! in my hour of distress she was nowhere to be seen. My guardian angel had forsaken me. I was left to my own devices. Distracted by the different counsels proffered on every side (in all which, alas! self-interest and the selfishness inherent in human nature were painfully apparent), I repaired to the starting-post, and found more than a dozen balls thickly studded between it and the first hoop. Through this I was to pass myself, but on no account to send any of the other balls (in my path) through also. How to avoid doing so, without having the sleight of hand of a conjuror, seemed difficult, if not impossible. With the energy of despair, however, I grasped my mallet, and, to my utter amazement, sent my ball victoriously through the hoop, scattering the cluster right and left. To my still greater astonishment, I found myself 'ringing the bell '-acting the benevolent Christian, as requested, and, in short, performing prodigies of skill. Every fresh stroke confirmed the bystanders in their belief of my 'wonderful play;' and the running commentary on my performances (at which no one was so astonished as myself) was piquant in the extreme.

When at last I was stopped in my victorious career, I found myself three quarters round the course, far ahead of any of my partners or rivals, and the hero of the hour. Having thus most unexpectedly crowned myself with laurels, I determined, like a judicious general, to retreat in time, before Fortune, notoriously fickle, could strip me of my fame. Seizing, therefore, the first opportunity, I slipped quietly back to the house, and carefully avoiding croquet-ground No. 1, coasted round to pay my respects to the celebrated Aunt Sally, whom I found, as usual, surrounded by her votaries. Though that ancient lady's ebony charms decidedly look to most advantage at a distance, she undeniably possesses great attractions, and is quaint to look on, though perhaps too much

the

devoted to pipes to please every taste. This sad failing, however, those present did their best to correct, and the black beauty bore the abstraction of her pipes with imperturbable complacency and goodhumour, smiling blandly on her aggressors with a benevolence quite touching to see. Tom Allerdyce was particularly zealous in 'dudheen' war, and the ground was strewed with fragments of his spoils. Mary Allerdyce, however, soon summoned me to join my daughter and Mrs. Sackville in a visit to the conservatory and gardens, which well repay a visit. The latter are laid out in terraces overhanging the lake, and were a blaze of beauty. A broad terrace walk, bordered by giant yew trees, connects the gardens with the house. The latter has no great architectural beauties to recommend it; a square stone edifice, with the inevitable Greek portico, which is apparently so indispensable a characteristic of the domestic architecture of the nineteenth century: it resembles nine out of every ten country-houses that one sees. Few squires, however, can boast of a finer demesne than Repton; the long beechen avenues are said to date from the reign of Anne, and the oaks would make a Jew break the tenth commandment instanter, and long for the handling of the revenues that could be produced by the use of the axe. We saw the woods to the more advantage, as after we had lionized the gardens, Mr. Sackville drove us round one of the lakes in his pony-carriage, and down a long grass drive through a wood to see the 'Giants,' as they are called, a group of fine old patriarchal firs, which stand at the junction of six grass avenues.

'What a pity it is,' Mr. Sackville said, as we drove up to them, 'that we are not paying our visit here by moonlight, for we might then have the pleasure of seeing the "White Lady," an ancestress of mine who is supposed to haunt the spot at night. Unfortunately she never shows in the daytime.'

The words were hardly out of his mouth when we heard a gentle, very gentle rustling in the under

wood behind us. It stopped as I looked round; then after a moment we heard a moan, and the rustling recommenced, as if something were cautiously making its way through the bushes; and, finally, a white object just showed for a moment, and then vanished. We all saw it. "The ghost!' was on all our tongues as a matter of course; and Mr. Sackville, springing from the carriage with an alacrity hardly to be expected from his grey hairs, rushed into the wood in pursuit. Of course we awaited his reappearance with feelings strung to the highest pitch of anxiety; and after a few minutes he returned, bringing with him, not, alas! the ancestress we were SO anxiously expecting, but a very prosaic white calf, which, disconcerted by the shouts of laughter and derision with which it found itself greeted, rushed back, after a moment's deliberation, into its leafy asylum.

There's a ghost for you, Miss Courtenay!' exclaimed Mr. Sackville. Now you can say you have seen the White Spectre of Repton, which I can tell you not many have accomplished doing; and there can be, of course, no mistake about the matter when it is seen in broad daylight, and not, like most ghosts, after dinner.'

We accordingly made capital of our adventure, and edified our friends by the marvels we had seen in the wood. Our reputation as ghost-seers became almost as great as mine as a croquet-player, and with about an equally strong foundation of fact.

On our return to the house we found tea in progress. A deplorable and amazing spectacle! It is, indeed, hard for any well-constituted mind to see with equanimity appetites deliberately blunted at the most critical period of the day-before dinner. Mrs. Sackville seemed, however, quite too hardened a sinner for me to cherish even a hope of making a convert of her. I can only hope some of the others present were convinced of the error of their ways; but it is a hard task to reform an age that is so devoted to 'its cups.' I was giving Miss Sack

ville her tea, and some most valuable advice gratis, when Mrs. Sackville interrupted my exordium by

'Oh, Mr. Courtenay, I hear you are such a wonderfully good croquetplayer. My daughter says what you did was really quite surprising

'And to no one more so than to myself,' I broke in; but my modest disclaimer was at once pooh-poohed, and I was called over the coals in the most painful way for having deserted my colours before the game was concluded.

A divertissement was at last, however, made by a precocious child in the company, who, having been for some time very restless at the unscientific turn the conversation had taken, finally thought it his duty to interfere, and nudging the elbow of a deaf elderly gentleman near me to attract his attention, tried to elicit his opinion on the Atomic theory,' but with singular ill-suc

cess.

'Tommy?-is it, my dear?' said the benign old gentleman, ear-trumpet in ear, bending down to his tormentor. And a very nice name, too.'

'Atomic!' insisted the enfant terrible, with an amazing emphasis on the last syllable.

"Ah! Mick, is it, my dear? I thought you said Tommy. Mick Tiernay. Why, you must be quite a little Irish boy,' continued the poor old gentleman, with the most winning affability, which was quite thrown away upon his questioner, who, finding that it was perfectly hopeless, even with the help of an ear-trumpet, to make himself understood, changed his ground, and suddenly pouncing on me, begged, in a stentorian voice, to my infinite horror, that I would at once give him my opinion as to whether the possibility of spontaneous combustion in the human subject had been satisfactorily disproved.'

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Thoroughly taken aback, I could only falter, I really don't know,' as it would have been useless to affect not to have heard a query propounded in a voice of thunder.

But is it possible,' my young gentleman continued, in a tone of much displeasure, is it possible that you have not read the treatise

fancy, mamma,' he said, addressing a lady with a face like a bird, who was sitting gazing on her darling, with a rapt expression of delight and awe combined on her countenance, only fancy! this gentleman hasn't read Ummelkauptfelhausen!'

Language altogether failing in such a dreadfully reprehensible state of affairs, a groan burst from the. maternal bosom, and all present, appalled and awed, were of course struck dumb. But Allerdyce was equal to the emergency, and with wonderful presence of mind came gallantly to the rescue. Patting the child most paternally on the head, he observed, quietly, I'm afraid, my little man, your learning must be very rudimentary, or you would know better than to fancy Ummelkauptfelhausen an authority; though, indeed, a thoroughly superficial thinker like him is just fit for children. But you will be wiser when you're older, we may hope.'

Of course every one smiled. The mother alone looked savage, and as if she could have eaten Allerdyce then and there in one mouthful without the smallest scruple; but for that he was fortunately most supremely indifferent, having gained his object-namely, silenced, for a time at least, a most objectionable member of society. Lest a reaction might take place, we thought it would be a prudent course to migrate; accordingly, we departed, taking my daughter Cissy in our train, who, by-the-way, rejoiced immensely at the temporary extinguishing of the infant prodigy, he having been plying her all day with abstruse questions on the Punic wars and the specific gravity of hot and cold water, which she could not in the least answer. She had finally referred the anxious inquirer to Tom Allerdyce, who suggested the prodigy should go and be hanged,' as the best solution of the difficulties that oppressed him. It appeared, however, that the advice so kindly given (as is often the case) had not been taken, for she found her tormentor alive and busy as ever when she went to tea.