classics, handsomely above thirty guineas. The servant was accordingly desired to bring it, who, in delivering it to the gentleman, accidentally let it fall, and broke it to pieces. The company were all a little deranged by the accident.

ce 100 guineas. Gray longing for this lot, t afford to buy it. ion between him and s overheard by the orthumberland, who, ther gentleman, took y to ask who his She was told it was Gray. Upon their bought the book-case nts, and sent it to gs, with a note, imshe was ashamed of mall an acknowledginfinite pleasure she n reading the Elegy Churchyard of all ourite poem.

IES SMITH.

ng playful colloquy lace at a dinner-table eorge Rose and James f the authors of the esses, in allusion to t, Strand, where he

top of my street the

bound,

the bottom the barges

ly to some safer retreat,

craft in the river, and

e street.""

Why should Honesty fly

fer retreat,

eys and barges, od rot

rs are just at the top of ges are just at the bot

"Be under no concern, my dear sir," says the bishop, smiling, "I think it is rather a lucky omen; we have hitherto had a dry season; and I hope we shall have some rain, for I protest I do not remember ever to have seen the glass so low."

STERNE REBUKED.

Sterne being in company with three or four clergymen, was relating a circumstance which happened to him at York.

After preaching at the cathedral, an old woman, whom he observed sitting on the pulpit stairs, stopped him as he came down, and begged to know where she should have the honour of hearing him preach the next Sunday. Mr. Sterne having mentioned the place where he was to exhibit, found her situated in the same manner on that day; when she put the same question to him as before.

The following Sunday he was to preach four miles out of York, which he told her; and to his great surprise, found her there too; and, that the same question was put to him as he descended from the pulpit. On which, adds he, I took for my text these words, expecting to find my old woman as before:-"I will grant the request of this poor widow; lest by her often coming, she weary me." One of the comgh, bishop of Wor-pany immediately replied, "Why, s as remarkable for Sterne, you omitted the most apof his temper as for plicable part of the passage, which alities, having a good is, "Though I neither fear God nor any at his house, a regard man."" This unexpected resent desired his lord- tort silenced the wit for the whole im a curious weather- evening.

[OP HOUGH.

That poets live among the stars, so
Their very dinners are ideal,—
(And heaven knows, too oft they are
so:)

For instance, that we have, instead
Of vulgar chops and stews, and
hashes,

First course,-a phoenix at the head,
Done in its own celestial ashes:
At foot, a cygnet, which kept singing
All the time its neck was wringing.
Side dishes, thus,-Minerva's owl,

Or any such like learned fowl.
Doves, such as heaven's poulterer gets
When Cupid shoots his mother's pets.
Larks stew'd in morning's roseate
breath,

Or roasted by a sunbeam's splendour; And nightingales, be-rhymed to death

Like young pigs whipp'd to make

them tender.

Such fare may suit those bards who're

able

To banquet at Duke Humphrey's table;
But as for me, who've long been taught
To eat and drink like other people,
And can put up with mutton, bought
Where Bromham rears its ancient
steeple;

If Lansdowne will consent to share
My humble feast, though rude the fare,
Yet, seasoned by that salt he brings
From Attica's salinest springs,
"Twill turn to dainties; while the cup,
Beneath his influence brightening up,
Like that of Baucis, touched by Jove,
Will sparkle fit for gods above!"

LOCKE.

cards. Mr. Locke, after looking on for some time, pulled out his pocketbook, and began to write with great attention. One of the company observing this, took the liberty of asking him what he was writing.

"My lord," says Locke, "I am endeavouring, as far as possible, to profit by my present situation; for having waited with impatience for the honour of being in company with the greatest geniuses of the age, I thought I could do nothing better than to write down your conversation; and, indeed, I have set down the substance of what you have said for this hour or two."

This well-timed ridicule had its desired effect; and these noblemen, fully sensible of its force, immediately quitted their play, and entered into a conversation more rational, and better suited to the dignity of their characters.

STAMMERING WIT.

Stammering (says Coleridge), is sometimes the cause of a pun. Some one was mentioning in Lamb's presence the cold-heartedness of the Duke of Cumberland, in restraining the duchess from rushing up to the embrace of her son, whom she had not seen for a considerable time, and insisting on her receiving him in state. "How horribly cold it was," said the narrator. "Yes," said Lamb, in his stuttering way; "but you know he is the Duke of Cu-cum-ber-land."

MEDICINAL ANECDOTE.

A gentleman of narrow circumstances, whose health was on the decline, finding that an ingenious John Locke, having been intro-physician occasionally dropped into duced by Lord Shaftesbury to the a coffee-house that he frequented, Duke of Buckingham and Lord not very remote from Lincoln's-Inn, Halifax; these three noblemen, in- always placed himself vis-à-vis the stead of conversing with the philo- doctor, in the same box, and made sopher, as might naturally have many indirect efforts to withdraw been expected, on literary subjects, the doctor's attention from the in a very short time sat down to newspaper to examine the index of

his constitution. He at last ven- | might be likely to purchase his tured a bold push at once, in the manuscript. The landlord readily following terms ::- Doctor," said introduced him to a bookseller of he, "I have for a long time been his acquaintance, who upon having very far from being well, and as I the matter explained to him, begbelong to an office, where I am ged to look at the manuscript. The obliged to attend every day, the papers were put into his hands, complaints I have prove very which he returned in a few days, troublesome to me, and I should telling the disappointed author, be glad to remove them." The that he could not venture to give doctor laid down his paper, and re- more than twenty pounds for the garded his patient with a steady book. This offer Burn could not eye, while he proceeded: "I have think of accepting. He returned but little appetite, and digest what very melancholy to his lodging, I eat very poorly; I have a strange sincerely repenting that he had swimming in my head," &c. In ever put pen to paper on that subshort, after giving the doctor a full ject. quarter of an hour's detail of all his By this time, Mr. Andrew Millar symptoms, he concluded the state was well established in business, of his case with a direct question: and his name had been several "Pray, doctor, what shall I take?" times mentioned with some degree The doctor, in the act of resuming of respect to Mr. Burn; so that he his newspaper, gave him the follow-resolved to wait upon him, without ing laconic prescription: "Take, any person to introduce him. He why, take advice!"

LORD BOLINGBROKE.

went, communicated his business in a few words, was politely received, and informed, that if he The famous Lord Bolingbroke would trust the manuscript with being at Aix-la-Chapelle, during him for a few days, he should be the treaty of peace at that place (at able to give him an answer; and which time his attainder was not in the meantime, as he was from taken off), was asked by an imper-home, he asked the author to dine tinent Frenchman, Whether he came there in any public character? No, sir," replied his lordship; "I come like a French minister, with no character at all."

BURN'S "JUSTICE.

Everybody has heard of the book entitled, Burn's Justice of the Peace. The author of that book, Mr. Burn, was a curate in one of the northern counties of England. When he had completed it, he set out for London to dispose of it in the best way he could. When he arrived there, being an entire stranger in town, he applied to the landlord of the inn where he stopped, a decent-looking, obliging sort of a man, to see if he could recommend him to any bookseller, who

with him each day, till they should conclude about the business. Mr. Millar, who did not depend upon his own judgment in cases of this sort, sent the manuscript to a young lawyer, with whom he usually advised in regard to law-books. The gentleman after reading the performance, returned it to Mr. Millar, and informed him, that if he could purchase the copyright for 200 pounds, he would certainly have a great bargain; for the book was extremely well written, and much wanted, so that the sale of it must be very considerable.

Mr. Millar having received this information, met the author the next day as usual, and then asked what price he demanded for his work? The author, dispirited with

He

the former offer, said he was at a it had been, of course, formerly a loss what to ask; for he had been pecuniary punishment, and, upon already offered so small a price, its being altered, they overlooked that rather than accept of anything the addition." like it, he would throw the papers into the fire. What was this offer said Mr. Millar. Only twenty pounds, said Mr. Burn, with great ingenuousness. But, said Mr. Millar, would you think 200 guineas too little? Too little! says Burn in surprise; No. Well then, said Mr. Millar, the book shall be mine, and you shall have the money when you please. The bargain was instantly struck, and a bottle of old port was drank to the good luck of it. Mr. Millar found no reason to repent of his frankness, for the book sold amazingly well; nor had the author any reason to be dissatisfied with his bargain, for Mr. Millar, with a spirit of candour and liberality that does not always belong to men of his profession, frankly sent 100 guineas to the author for every edition of the book that was printed in his life-time; and these were many insomuch, that by the sale of this book alone, he cleared no less than £11,000.

САТО.

Cato being asked how it happened, that he had no statues erected to him, whilst Rome was crowded with those of so many others: "I would rather," answered he, "people should inquire why I have them not, than complain that I have."

EXCERPTS FROM DIARY OF THOMAS
MOORE.

"Aug. 20, 1818.-Some tolerable stories told: mistakes in acts of Parliament 'the new jail to be built from the materials of the old one, and the prisoners to remain in the latter till the former was ready' -a sentence of transportation of seven years, 'half to go to the king and the other half to the informer;

66 Aug. 21, 1818.- Dined with Dr. Parr: himself, his wife, and a friend he called 'Jack,' a clergyman of £1000 a-year, who lives in his neighbourhood, very much devoted to him, and ready at a call to come and write letters for him, &c. &c.; his own hand being quite illegible (see what he says of it in preface to Fox's Characters). was very cordial and animated; hob-nobbed with me across the table continually; told me he had written whole sheets of Greek verses against Big Ben (the Regent); showed them to me: the name he designated him by, I saw, was Puxa, inflated or puffy. Told me they were full of wit, which I took his word for, as they seemed rather puzzling Greek. Talked a good deal of Halhed, Sheridan's friend, and mentioned a curious interview which took place between them about the time of Hastings' business, by his (Parr's) intervention, in consequence of an attack made by Major Scott upon Fox in the house, charging him with having set on foot a negotiation with Mr. Hastings some years before. Fox, who knew nothing of the matter, had nothing to say in reply. Scott was present at this interview procured by Parr, and it appeared that the negotiation had been set on foot without the knowledge of Fox, and that Sheridan was the chief agent in it. An explanation was accordingly made next night in the house by Scott. Parr's account of the abuse he poured out upon Scott at that interview-Hot scalding abuse; it was downright lava, sir.' Spoke of the poem of Fracastorius as very nearly equal to Virgil."

Aug. 22, 1818.-A gentleman told a punning epigram of Jekyl's