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After the General, I befeech you next
Achil. I shall foreftall thee, lord Ulysses ;-thou!
He&t. Is this Achilles ?
Achil. Thou art too brief. I will the second time,
Heet. O, like a book of sport thou'll read me o'er :
Heft. It would discredit the blest Gods, proud man,
Achil. I tell thee, yea.
Heft. Wert thou the Oracle to tell me so,
o'er and o'er.
And you, Achilles, let these threats alone,
Hed. I pray you, let us see you in the field :
Achil. Doft thou intreat me, Hector ?
Hect. Thy hand upon that match.
Aga. Firit, all you Peers of Greece, go to my Tent,
Manent Troilus and Ulysses. toi. Y lord Ulysses, tell me, I beseech you,
In what place of the field doth Calchas
and bent of am'rous view
much, After you part from Agamemnon's Tent, To bring me thither?
Ulyf. You shall command me, Sir : As gently tell me, of what honour was
This Cresida in Troy; had lhe no lover there,
Troi. O Sir, to such as boasting shew their scars, A mock is due. Will
you walk She was belov’d, she lov'd ; she is, and doth: But, still, sweet love is food for fortune's tooth.
on, my lord ?
SC EN E
Before Achilles's Tent, in the Grecian Camp.
Enter Achilles and Patroclus.
ACHILLE S. 'LL heat his blood with Greekish wine to-night,
Patroclus, let us feast him to the height.
? Thou crusty batch of Nature, what's the news ?
Ther. Why, thou picture of what thou seem'ft, and idol of ideot-worshippers, here's a letter for thee.
Achil. From whence, fragment ?
tricks? Ther. Pr’ythee, be filent, boy, I profit not by thy talk; thou art thought to be Achilles's male-varlet.
Pat. Male varlet, you rogue? what's that?
Ther. Why, his masculine whore. Now the rotten diseases of the south, guts-griping, ruptures, catarrhs, loads o gravel i'th' back, lethargies, cold palfies, raw E 6
eyes, dirt-rotten livers, wheezing lungs, bladders full of imposthume, sciatica's, lime-kilns i'ih' palm, incurable bone-ach, and the rivell’d fee-simple of the tetter, take and take again such preposterous difcoveries.
Pat. Why, thou damnable box of envy, thou, what meanest thou to curse thus?
Ther. Do I curse thec ?
Pat. Why, no, you ruinous butt, you whoreson indistinguishable cur.
Ther. No ? why art thou then exasperate, thou idle immaterial ikein of fley'd filk, thou green farcenet flap for a sore eye, thou taffel of a prodigal's purse, thou? Ah, how the poor world is pefter'd with such water-flies, diminutives of Nature.
Pat. Out, gall!
Achil. My sweet Patroclus, I am thwarted quite
TExeunt. Ther. With too much blood, and too little brain, these two may run mad: but if with too much brain, and too little blood, they do, I'll be a curer of madmen. Here's Agamemnon, an honest fellow enough, and one that loves quails, but he hath not so much brain as ear-wax; and the goodly iransformation of Jupiter there, his brother, the bull, * the primitive
ftatue, * The primitive statue, and oblique memorial of cuckolds ;] He calls Menelaus the Transformation of Jupiter, that is, as himself explains it,
ftatue, and obelisque memorial of cuckolds; a thrifty shoeing-horn in a chain, hanging at his brother's leg; 1o what form, but that he is, should wit larded with malice, and malice forced with wit, turn him ? to an ass were nothing, he is both ass and ox; to an ox were nothing, he is both ox and ass; to be a dog, a mule, a cat, a fitchew, a toad, a lizard, an owl, a puttock, or a herring without a roe, I would not care: but to be Menelaus, I would conspire against Distiny. Ask me not what I would be, if I were not Therfites; for I care not, to be the louse of a lazar, so I were not MenelausHey-day, spirits and fires !
S CE N E II. Enter Hecor, Troilus, Ajax, Agamemnon, Ulysses,
Neftor, and Diomede, with lights.
go wrong, we go wrong.
we see the light.
Enter Achilles. Ulyff. Here comes himself to guide you. Achil. Welcome, brave Hector; welcome, Princes all. Aga. So, now fair Prince of Troy, I bid good
night. Ajax commands the Guard to tend on you. He&. Thanks, and good-night, to the Greeks' Ge
neral. the Bull, on account of his Horns, which he had as a Cuckold. This Cuckold he calls the primitive Statue of Cuckolds; Therefore we should read,
-and obelisque Memorial of Cuckolds. He is represented as one who would remain an eternal Monument of his Wise's Infidelity. And how could this be better done than by calling him. an Obelisque Memorial? of all human Edifices the most durable.