such things were: so they, to save the practice of the church, had devised a number of strange positions. 275. It was also said by many concerning the canons of that council, "That we are beholden to Aristotle for many articles of our faith." | 276. The Lo. Henry Howard, being lord privyseal, was asked by the king openly at the table, where commonly he entertained the king, upon the sudden, "My lord, have you not a desire to see Rome?" My lord privy-seal answered, "Yes, indeed, sir." The king said, " And why ?" My lord answered, "Because, and it please your majesty, it was once the seat of the greatest monarchy, and the seminary of the bravest men of the world, amongst the heathen: and then again, | because after it was the see of so many holy bishops in the primitive church, most of them over, but martyrs." The king would not give it over, said, "And for nothing else?" My lord answered, “Yes, and it please your majesty, for two things especially: the one to see him, who, they say, hath so great a power to forgive other men their sins, to confess his own sins upon his knees before a chaplain or priest; and the other to hear Antichrist say his creed." or otherwise, but that he would come in, in the end with a but, and drive in a nail to his disadvantage." 278. There was a lady of the west country, that gave great entertainment at her house to most of the gallant gentlemen thereabout, and amongst This lady, others Sir Walter Raleigh was one. though otherwise a stately dame, was a notable good housewife; and in the morning betimes she called to one of her maids that looked to the swine, and asked, "Is the piggy served ?" Sir Walter Raleigh's chamber was fast by the lady's, so as he heard her. A little before dinner, the lady came down in great state into the great chamber, which was full of gentlemen: and as soon as Sir Walter Raleigh set eye upon her, “Madam,' saith he, "Is the piggy served ?" The lady answered, "You best know whether you have had breakfast.' your 279. There was a gentleman fell very sick, and a friend of his said to him, "Surely, you are in danger; I pray send for a physician." But the sick man answered, "It is no matter, for if I die, I will die at leisure.' 280. There was an Epicurean vaunted, that divers of other sects of philosophers did after turn Epicureans; but there was never any Epicureans that turned to any other sect. Whereupon a philosopher that was of another sect said, "The reason was plain; for that cocks may be made 277. There was a nobleman said of a great counsellor," that he would have made the worst farrier in the world; for he never shod horse but he cloyed him: so he never commended any man to the king for service, or upon occasion of suit, | capons, but capons could never be made cocks." 1. PLUTARCH said well, “It is otherwise in a | full of excellent* instruction: Vespasian asked commonwealth of men than of bees: the hive of a city or kingdom is in best condition when there is least of noise or buz in it." 2. The same Plutarch said of men of weak abilities set in great place, "That they were like little statues set on great bases, made to appear the less by their advancement." 3. He said again, "Good fame is like fire. When you have kindled it, you may easily preserve it; but if once you extinguish it, you will not easily kindle it again; at least, not make it burn as bright as it did." 4. The answer of Apollonius to Vespasian is him, "What was Nero's overthrow ?" He answered, "Nero could touch and tune the harp well; but in government sometimes he used to wind the pins too high, sometimes to let them down too low." And certain it is, that nothing destroyeth authority so much as the unequal and untimely interchange of power pressed too far, and relaxed too much. 5. Queen Elizabeth, seeing Sir Edward in her garden, looked out at her window, and asked him in Italian, "What does a man think of when he thinks of nothing?" Sir Edward * This apophthegm is also found in his Essay of Empire who had not had the effect of some of the queen's | Lord St. Albans, wishing him a good Easter. My grants so soon as he had hoped and desired, | lord thanked the messenger, and said, "He could paused a little; and then made answer, "Madam, not at present requite the count better than in rehe thinks of a woman's promise.' The queen turning him the like; that he wished his lordship shrunk in her head; but was heard to say, "Well, a good passover." Sir Edward, I must not confute you." Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor. 13. My Lord Chancellor Elsmere, when he had read a petition which he disliked, would say, 6. When any great officer, ecclesiastical or "What, you would have my hand to this now ?" civil, was to be made, the queen would inquire And the party answering, "Yes;" he would say after the piety, integrity, learning of the man. | further, "Well, so you shall: nay, you shall And when she was satisfied in these qualifica- have both my hands to it." And so would, with tions, she would consider of his personage. And both his hands, tear it in pieces. upon such an occasion she pleased once to say to me, "Bacon, how can the magistrate maintain | word, when he saw men hasten to a conclusion, his authority when the man is despised ?" Stay a little that we may make an end the sooner." 66 14. I knew a wise man, that had it for a by 7. In eighty-eight, when the queen went from Temple-bar along Fleet-street, the lawyers were 15. Sir Francis Bacon was wont to say of an ranked on one side, and the companies of the angry man who suppressed his passion, "That city on the other; said Master Bacon to a lawyer | he thought worse than he spake ;" and of an angry that stood next him, "Do but observe the courtiers; man that would chide, "That he spoke worse if they bow first to the citizens, they are in debt; than he thought." if first to us, they are in law." 16. He was wont also to say, "That power in water. 17. When Mr. Attorney Cook, in the exchequer, gave high words to Sir Francis Bacon, and stood much upon his higher place: Sir Francis said to him, "Mr. Attorney, the less you speak of your own greatness, the more I shall think of it; and the more, the less." 8. King James was wont to be very earnest an ill man was like the power of a black witch; with the country gentlemen to go from London | he could do hurt but no good with it." And he to their country houses. And sometimes he would add, "That the magicians could turn water would say thus to them, "Gentlemen, at London | into blood, but could not turn the blood again to you are like ships in a sea, which show like nothing; but in your country villages you are like ships in a river, which look like great things.” 9. Soon after the death of a great officer, who was judged no advancer of the king's matters, the king said to his solicitor Bacon, who was his kinsman, "Now tell me truly, what say you of your cousin that is gone?" Mr. Bacon answered, "Sir, since your majesty doth charge me, I'll e'en deal plainly with you, and give you such a character of him, as if I were to write his story. I do think he was no fit counsellor to make your affairs better: but yet he was fit to have kept them from growing worse." The king said, "On my so'l, man, in the first thou speakest like a true man, and in the latter like a kinsman.” 18. Sir Francis Bacon, coming into the Earl of Arundel's garden, where there were a great number of ancient statues of naked men and women, made a stand, and, as astonished, cried out, "The resurrection." 19. Sir Francis Bacon, who was always for moderate counsels, when one was speaking of such a reformation of the Church of England, as would in effect make it no church; said thus to 10. King James, as he was a prince of great him, "Sir, the subject we talk of is the eye of judgment, so he was a prince of marvellous plea- | England; and if there be a speck or two in the sant humour; and there now come into my mind eye, we endeavour to take them off, but he two instances of it. As he was going through were a strange oculist who would pull out the Lusen, by Greenwich, he asked what town it eye." was? They said, Lusen. He asked a good while after, "What town is this we are now in ?" They said still, 'twas Lusen. "On my so'l," said the king, "I will be king of Lusen." 11. In some other of his progresses, he asked how far it was to a town whose name I have forgotten. They said, "Six miles." Half an hour after, he asked again. One said, "Six miles and an half.” The king alighted out of his coach, and crept under the shoulder of his led horse. And when some asked his majesty what he meant ? "I must stalk," said he, "for yonder town is shy, and flies me. 20. The same Sir Francis Bacon was wont to say; "That those who left useful studies for useless scholastic speculations, were like the Olympic gamesters, who abstained from necessary labours, that they might be fit for such as were not so." 21. He likewise often used this comparison :† "The empirical philosophers are like to pismires; they only lay up and use their store. The rationalists are like to spiders; they spin all out of their own bowels. But give me a philosopher, * See this also in his Essay of Despatch. 12. Count Gondomar sent a compliment to my p. 105, and Inter Cogitata et Visa, p. 53. See the substance of this in Nov. Org. ed. Lugd. Bat. who, like the bee, hath a middle faculty, gather- | be lifted up, the inferior parts of the body must ing from abroad, but digesting that which is too." gathered by his own virtue." 22. The Lord St. Alban, who was not over hasty to raise theories, but proceeded slowly by experiments, was wont to say to some philosophers, who would not go his pace, " Gentlemen, nature is a labyrinth, in which the very haste you move with will make you lose your way.” 25. The Lord Bacon was wont to commend the advice of the plain old man at Buxton, that sold becoms: a proud lazy young fellow came to him for a besom upon trust; to whom the old man said, "Friend, hast thou no money? borrow of thy back, and borrow of thy belly, they'll ne'er ask thee again, I shall be dunning thee every day.” 26. Solon* said well to Croesus, (when in os23. The same lord, when he spoke of the Dutch" Sir, if any men, used to say, "That we could not abandon tentation he showed him his gold,) them for our safety, nor keep them for our profit." | other come that has better iron than you, he will And sometimes he would express the same sense be master of all this gold." on this manner; "We hold the Belgic lion by the ears." 27. Jack Weeks said of a great man, just then dead, who pretended to some religion, but was 24. The same lord, when a gentleman seemed none of the best livers, “Well, I hope he is in not much to approve of his liberality to his retinue, heaven. Every man thinks as he wishes; but if said to him, “Sir, I am all of a piece; if the head | he be in heaven, 'twere pity it were known.” SPURIOUS APOPHTHEGMS. 1. His majesty James the First, King of Great | justice; one while they were a Star Chamber, Britain, having made unto his Parliament an excellent and large declaration, concluded thus, “I have now given you a clear mirror of my mind; use it therefore like a mirror; and take heed how you let it fall, or how you soil it with your breath." 2. His majesty said to his Parliament at another time, finding there were some causeless jealousies sown amongst them; "That the king and his people, (whereof the Parliament is the representative body,) were as husband and wife; and therefore, that of all other things, jealousy was between them most pernicious." 3. His majesty, when he thought his council might note in him some variety in businesses, though indeed he remained constant, would say, "That the sun many times shineth watery; but it is not the sun which causeth it, but some cloud rising betwixt us and the sun; and when that is scattered the sun is as it was, and comes to his former brightness." 4. His majesty, in his answer to the book of the Cardinal of Evereux, (who had in a grave -argument of divinity sprinkled many witty ornaments of poesy and humanity,) saith; "That these flowers were like blue and yellow, and red flowers in the corn, which make a pleasant show to those that look on, but they hurt the corn.” 5. Sir Edward Cook, being vehement against the two provincial councils of Wales and the North, said to the king, "There was nothing there but a kind of confusion and hotch potch of another while a King's Bench, another a common 6. The commissioners of the treasure moved the king for the relief of his estate, to disafforest some forests of his, explaining themselves of such forests as lay out of the way, not near any of the king's houses, nor in the course of his progress, whereof he should never have use nor plea"Why," saith the king, "do you think sure. that Solomon had use and pleasure of all his three hundred concubines." 7. His majesty, when the Committees of both Houses of Parliament presented unto him the instrument of Union of England and Scotland, was merry with them; and amongst other pleasant speeches showed unto them the Laird of Lawriston, a Scotchman, who was the tallest and greatest man that was to be seen, and said, "Well, now we are all one, yet none of you will say but here is one Scotchman greater than any Englishman ;" which was an ambiguous speech; but it was thought he meant it of himself. 8. His majesty would say to the Lords of his Council, when they sat upon any great matter, and came from council in to him, “Well, you have set, but what have you hatcht!" * See this in his Essay of the True Greatness of Kingdoms L 2 9. Queen Elizabeth was importuned much by | have put a trick upon the countryman, which was my Lord of Essex to supply divers great offices thus: the scholars appointed for supper two that had been long void; the queen answered pigeons and a fat capon, which being ready was nothing to the matter, but rose up on the sudden, brought up, and they having sat down, the one and said, "I am sure my office will not be long scholar took up one pigeon, the other scholar took void." And yet at that time there was much the other pigeon, thinking thereby that the counspeech of troubles and divisions about the crown | tryman should have sat still until that they were to be after her decease: but they all vanished, and ready for the carving of the capon, which he perKing James came in in a profound peace. ceiving, took the capon and laid it on his trencher, and thus said, "Daintily contrived, every one a bird." 10. King Henry the Fourth of France was so punctual of his word after it was once passed, that they called him the King of the Faith. 11. The said King Henry the Fourth was moved by his Parliament to a war against the Protestants: he answered, "Yes, I mean it; I will make every one of you captains; you shall have companies assigned you." The Parliament observing whereunto his speech tended, gave over, and deserted his motion. 12. A great officer at court, when my Lord of Essex was first in trouble, and that he and those that dealt for him would talk much of my lord's friends and of his enemies, answered to one of them, “I will tell you, I know but one friend and one enemy my lord hath; and that one friend is the queen, and that one enemy is himself." 13. The Lord Keeper, Sir Nicholas Bacon, was asked his opinion by my Lord of Leicester, concerning two persons whom the queen seemed to think well of: "By my troth, my lord," said he, "the one is a grave counsellor, the other is a proper young man; and so he will be as long as he lives." 17. A man and his wife in bed together, she towards morning pretended herself to be ill at ease, desiring to lie on her husband's side; so the good man to please her came over her, making some short stay in his passage over, where she had not long lain, but desired to lie in her old place again. Quoth he, "How can it be effected ?" She answered, "Come over me again." "I had rather," said he, "go a mile and a half about." 18. A thief being arraigned at the bar for stealing a mare, in his pleading urged many things in his own behalf, and at last nothing availing, he told the bench the mare rather stole him than he the mare, which in brief he thus related: that passing over several grounds about his lawful occasions, he was pursued close by a fierce mastiff dog, and so was forced to save himself by leaping over a hedge, which being of an agile body he effected, and in leaping, a mare standing on the other side of the hedge, leaped upon her back, who running furiously away with him, he could not by any means stop her until he came 14. My Lord of Liecester, favourite to Queen to the next town, in which town the owner of the Elizabeth, was making a large chase about Corn-mare lived, and there was he taken and here arbury Park, meaning to enclose it with posts and rails, and one day was casting up his charge what 19. A notorious rogue being brought to the bar, it would come to; Mr. Goldingham, a free-spoken and knowing his case to be desperate, instead of man, stood by, and said to my lord; “Methinks | pleading, he took to himself the liberty of jesting, your lordship goeth not the cheapest way to work." and thus said, "I charge you in the king's name "Why, Goldingham ?" said my lord. "Marry, to seize and take away that man (meaning the my lord," said Goldingham, "count you but upon judge) in the red gown, for I go in danger of my the posts, for the country will find you railing." life because of him." 15. Sir Nicholas Bacon being appointed a judge for the northern circuit, and having brought his trials that came before him to such a pass, as the passing of sentence on malefactors, he was by one of the malefactors mightily importuned for to save his life, which when nothing that he had said did avail, he at length desired his mercy on the account of kindred. “Pr’ythee,” said my lord judge, "how came that in?" Why, if it please you, my lord, your name is Bacon and Bacon and mine is Hog, and in all ages hog and bacon have been so near kindred that they are not to be separated." "Ay, but,” replied Judge Bacon, "you and I cannot be kindred except you be hanged; for hog is not bacon until it be well hanged.” 16. Two scholars and a countryman travelling upon the road, one night lodged all in one inn and supped together, where the scholars thought to raigned. 20. A rough-hewn seaman being brought before a wise just-ass for some misdemeanour, was by him sent away to prison: and being somewhat refractory after he heard his doom, insomuch as he would not stir a foot from the place he stood, saying, "It were better to stand where he was than go to a worse place." The justice thereupon, to show the strength of his learning, took him by the shoulder, and said, "Thou shalt go Nogus vogus,' vogus,"" instead of "Nolens volens." 21. A debauched seaman being brought before a justice of the peace upon the account of swearing, was by the justice commanded to deposit his fine in that behalf provided, which was two shillings, he thereupon, plucking out of his pocket a half-crown, asked the justice what was the rate he was to pay for cursing; the justice told him sixpence; quoth he, then, "A pox take you all for 127 a company of knaves and fools, and there's half- | sir," said the apprentice, "but if Joseph's misa-crown for you, I will never stand changing of tress had been as handsome as mine is, he could not have forborne." money." 22. A witty rogue coming into a lace shop, said he had occasion for some lace, choice whereof being showed him, he at last pitched upon one pattern, and asked them how much they would have for so much as would reach from ear to ear, for so much he had occasion for; they told him for so much: so some few words passing between them, he at last agreed, and told down his money for it, and began to measure on his own head, thus saying, "One ear is here, and the other is nailed to the pillory in Bristol, and I fear you have not so much of this lace by you at present as will perfect my bargain; therefore this piece of lace shall suffice at present in part of payment, and provide the rest with all expedition.” 23. A woman being suspected by her husband for dishonesty, and being by him at last pressed very hard about it, made him quick answer with many protestations, "That she knew no more of what he said than the man in the moon:" Now the captain of the ship called "The Moon" was the very man she so much loved. 25. When my Lord President of the Council was newly advanced to the Great Seal, Gondomar came to visit him; my lord said, "That he was to thank God and the king for that honour; but yet, so he might be rid of the burden, he could very willingly forbear the honour. And that he formerly had a desire, and the same continued with him still, to lead a private life." Gondomar answered that he would tell him a tale, “Of an old rat that would needs leave the world: and acquainted the young rats that he would retire into his hole, and spend his days solitarily; and would enjoy no more comfort: and commanded them, upon his high displeasure, not to offer to come in unto him. They forbore two or three days; at last, one that was more hardy than the rest, incited some of his fellows to go in with him, and he would venture to see how his father did; for he might be dead. They went in, and found the old rat sitting in the midst of a rich Parmesan cheese." So he applied the fable after his witty manner. 26. Mr. Houland, in conference with a young student, arguing a case, happened to say, "I would ask you but this question." The student presently interrupted him to give him an answer. Whereunto Mr. Houland gravely said; “Nay, though I ask you a question, yet I did not mean 24. An apprentice of London being brought before the chamberlain by his master, for the sin of incontinency, even with his own mistress; the chamberlain thereupon gave him many Christian exhortations, and at last he mentioned and pressed the chastity of Joseph when his mistress tempted him with the like crime of incontinency. "Ay, you should answer me, I mean to answer myself.” ORNAMENTA RATIONALIA,* A SUPPLY (BY THE PUBLISHER) OF CERTAIN WEIGHTY AND ELEGANT SENTENCES, SOME MADE, OTHERS COLLECTED BY THE LORD BACON; AND BY HIM PUT UNDER THE ABOVESAID TITLE; AND AT PRESENT NOT TO BE FOUND. A COLLECTION OF SENTENCES OUT OF THE MIMI OF PUBLIUS; ENGLISHED BY THE PUBLISHER. 1. “ALEATOR, quanto in arte est melior, tanto A gamester, the greater master he is in his 2. "Arcum.intensio frangit; animum, remissio." *Tenison's Baconiana, page 60. 3. "Bis vincit, qui se vincit in victoria." 4. "Cum vitia prosint, peccat, qui recte facit.” |