41. There was a soldier that vaunted before Julius Cæsar of hurts he had received in his face. Julius Cæsar knowing him to be but a coward, told him; "You were best take heed next time you run away, how you look back."

42. There was a bishop that was somewhat a delicate person, and bathed twice a day. A friend of his said to him; "My lord, why do you bathe twice a day?" The bishop answered; "Because I cannot conveniently bathe thrice."

43. Mendoza that was viceroy of Peru, was wont to say, "that the government of Peru was the best place that the King of Spain gave, save that it was somewhat too near Madrid."

44. Secretary Bourn's son kept a gentleman's wife in Shropshire, who lived from her husband, with him when he was weary of her, he caused her husband to be dealt with to take her home, and offered him five hundred pounds for reparation; the gentleman went to Sir H. Sidney to take his advice upon this offer, telling him, "that his wife promised now a new life; and, to tell him truth, five hundred pounds would come well with him; and besides, that sometimes he wanted a woman in his bed." "By my troth," said Sir Henry Sidney, "take her home, and take the money and then whereas other cuckolds wear their horns plain, you may wear yours gilt."

45. There was a gentleman in Italy that wrote to a great friend of his upon his advancement to be cardinal, that he was very glad of his advancement, for the cardinal's own sake; but he was sorry that himself had lost so good a friend.

46. When Rabelais lay on his death-bed, and they gave him the extreme unction, a familiar friend of his came to him afterwards, and asked him how he did? Rabelais answered, "Even going my journey, they have greased my boots already."

47. There was a king of Hungary took a bishop in battle, and kept him prisoner: whereupon the pope writ a monitory to him, for that he had broke the privilege of holy church, and taken his son. The king sent an embassage to him, and sent withal the armour wherein the bishop was taken, and this only in writing, "Vide num hæc sit vestis filii tui :"

48. There was a suitor to Vespasian, who, to lay his suit fairer, said it was for his brother; whereas indeed it was for a piece of money. Some about Vespasian, to cross him, told the emperor that the party his servant spoke for, was not his brother; but that it was upon a bargain. Vespasian sent for the party interested, and asked him; Whether his mean was his brother or

49. When Vespasian passed from Jewry to take upon him the empire, he went by Alexandria, where remained two famous philosophers, Appollonius and Euphrates. The emperor heard the discourse, touching matter of state, in the presence of many. And when he was weary of them, he brake off, and in a secret derision, finding their discourses but speculative, and not to be put in practice, said, “Õ that I might govern wise men, and wise men govern me."

50. Cardinal Ximenes, upon a muster, which was taken against the Moors, was spoken to by a servant of his to stand a little out of the smoke of the harquebuss; but he said again, "That that was his incense."

51. Vespasian asked of Apollonius, what was the cause of Nero's ruin? Who answered, “Nero could tune the harp well, but in government he did always wind up the strings too high, or let them down too low."

52. Mr. Bromley, solicitor, giving in evidence for a deed, which was impeached to be fraudulent, was urged by the counsel on the other side with this presumption, that in two former suits, when title was made, that deed was passed over in silence, and some other conveyance stood upon. Mr. Justice Catline taking in with that side, asked the solicitor, "I pray thee, Mr. Solicitor, let me ask you a familiar question; I have two geldings in my stable, and I have divers times business of importance, and still I send forth one of my geldings, and not the other; would you not think I set him aside for a jade?" "No, my lord," said Bromley, "I would think you spared him for your own saddle."

53. Alonso Cartilio was informed by his steward of the greatness of his expense, being such as he could not hold out with. The bishop asked him wherein it chiefly arose? His steward told him, in the multitude of his servants. The bishop bade him make a note of those that were necessary, and those that mought be spared. Which he did. And the bishop taking occasion to read it before most of his servants, said to his steward, "Well, let these remain because I need them; and these other also because they have need of me."

54. Queen Elizabeth was wont to say, upon the commission of sales, "That the commissioners used her like strawberry wives, that laid two or three great strawberries at the mouth of their pot, and all the rest were little ones; so they made her two or three good prizes of the first particulars, but fell straightways."

55. Queen Elizabeth was wont to say of her instructions to great officers, "That they were like to garments, strait at the first putting on, but did by and by wear loose enough."

56. Mr. Marbury the preacher would say, "That God was fain to do with wicked men, as men do with frisking jades in a pasture, that cannot take them up, till they get them at a gate. So wicked men will not be taken up till the hour of death." 57. Thales, as he looked upon the stars, fell into the water; whereupon it was after said, "That if he had looked into the water he might have seen the stars, but looking up to the stars he could not see the water."

58. The book of deposing King Richard the Second, and the coming in of Henry the Fourth, supposed to be written by Doctor Hayward, who was committed to the Tower for it, had much incensed Queen Elizabeth; and she asked Mr. Bacon, being then of her learned counsel, “Whether there was any treason contained in it?" Mr. Bacon intending to do him a pleasure, and to take off the queen's bitterness with a merry conceit, answered, "No, madam, for treason I cannot deliver opinion that there is any, but very much felony." The queen, apprehending it gladly, asked, "How? and wherein ?" Mr. Bacon answered, "Because he had stolen many of his sentences and conceits out of Cornelius Tacitus."

"That his style was like mortar of sand without lime."

64. Sir Henry Wotton used to say, "That critics are like brushers of noblemen's clothes." 65. Queen Elizabeth being to resolve upon a great officer, and being by some, that canvassed for others, put in some doubt of that person whom she meant to advance, called for Mr. Bacon, and told him, "She was like one with a lantern seeking a man ;" and seemed unsatisfied in the choico she had of men for that place. Mr. Bacon answered her, "That he had heard that in old time there was usually painted on the church walls the day of doom, and God sitting in judgment, and St. Michael by him with a pair of balances; and the soul and the good deeds in the one balance, and the faults and the evil deeds in the other: and the soul's balance went up far too light. Then was our lady painted with a great pair of beads, who cast them into the light balance, and brought down the scale: so, he said, place and authority. which were in her hands to give, were like our lady's beads, which though men, through divers imperfections, were too light before, yet when they were cast in, made weight competent."

66. Mr. Savill was asked by my Lord of Essex his opinion touching poets. Who answered my lord; "that he thought them the best writers, next to those that writ prose."

67. Mr. Mason of Trinity College sent his pupil to another of the fellows, to borrow a book of him, who told him, "I am loath to lend my

60. Pope Sixtus the Fifth, who was a poor man's son, and his father's house ill thatched, so that the sun came in in many places, would sport with his ignobility, and say, "He was 'nato di casa illustre:' son of an illustrious house."

to come and read upon it in my chamber he shall as long as he will." It was winter, and some days after the same fellow sent to Mr. Mason to borrow his bellows; but Mr. Mason said to his pupil, "I am loath to lend my bellows out of my chamber, but if thy tutor would come and blow the fire in my chamber he shall as long as he will.”

62. Cicero married his daughter to Dolabella that held Cæsar's party: Pompey had married Julia, that was Cæsar's daughter. After, when Cæsar and Pompey took arms one against the other, and Pompey had passed the seas, and Cæsar possessed Italy, Cicero stayed somewhat long in Italy, but at last sailed over to join with Pompey; who when he came unto him, Pompey said, "You are welcome, but where left you your son-in-law ?" Cicero answered, "With your father-in-law."

63. Nero was wont to say of his master Seneca,

69. Galba succeeded Nero, and his age being much despised, there was much license and confusion in Rome; whereupon a senator said in full senate, "It were better live where nothing is lawful, than where all things are lawful."

70. In Flanders, by accident a Flemish tiler fell from the top of a house upon a Spaniard, and killed him, though he escaped himself; the next of the blood prosecuted his death with great violence, and when he was offered pecuniary recompense, nothing would serve him but "lex talionis;" whereupon the judge said to him, "that if he did urge that kind of sentence, it must be, that he should go up to the top of the house, and then fall down upon the tiler."

71. Queen Elizabeth was dilatory enough in

72. They feigned a tale of Sixtus Quintus, that after his death he went to hell, and the porter of hell said to him, "You have some reason to offer yourself to this place; but yet I have order not to receive you: you have a place of your own, purgatory; you may go thither." So he went away, and sought purgatory a great while and could find no such place. Whereupon he took heart, and went to heaven, and knocked; and St. Peter asked, "Who was there?" He said, "Sixtus pope." Whereunto St. Peter said, "Why do you knock? you have the keys." Sixtus answered, "It is true; but it is so long since they were given, as I doubt the wards of the lock be altered."

73. Charles, King of Sweden, a great enemy of the Jesuits, when he took any of their colleges, he would hang the old Jesuits, and put the young to his mines, saying, "that since they wrought so hard above ground, he would try how they could work under ground."

74. In chancery one time when the counsel of the parties set forth the boundaries of the land in question, by the plot; and the counsel of one part said, "We lie on this side, my lord ;" and the counsel of the other part said, "And we lie on this side:" the Lord Chancellor Hatton stood up and said, "If you lie on both sides, whom will you have me to believe."

75. Vespasian and Titus his eldest son were both absent from Rome when the empire was cast upon him: Domitian his younger son was at Rome, who took upon him the affairs; and being of a turbulent spirit, made many changes; and displaced divers officers and governors of provinces, sending them successors. So when Vespasian came to Rome, and Domitian came into his presence, Vespasian said to him, "Son, I looked when you would have sent me a successor."

76. Sir Amyas Pawlet, when he saw too much haste made in any matter, was wont to say, " Stay a while, that we may make an end the sooner."

77. The deputies of the reformed religion, after the massacre which was upon St. Bartholomew's day, treated with the king and queen-mother, and some other of the coxacil, for a peace. Both sides were agreed upon the articles. The question was, upon the security of performance. After some particulars propounded and rejected, the queennother said, "Why, is not the word of a king sufficient security?" One of the deputies answered, "No, by St. Bartholemew, madam."

78. When the archduke did raise his siege from Grave, the then secretary came to Queen Elizabeth. The queen, having first intelligence thereof, said to the secretary," Wot you what?

79. Francis the First used for his pleasure sometimes to go disguised: so walking one day in the company of the Cardinal of Bourbon near Paris, he met with a peasant with a new pair of shoes upon his arm: so he called unto him and said; "By our lady, these be good shoes, what did they cost thee?" The peasant said, "Guess." The king said, "I think some five sols." Saith the peasant, "You have lied; but a carlois." “What, villain," saith the Cardinal of Bourbon, "thou art dead, it is the king." The peasant replied, "The devil take him of you and me, that knew so much."

80. There was a conspiracy against the emperor Claudius by Scribonianus, examined in the senate; where Claudius sat in his chair, and one of his freed servants stood at the back of his chair. In the examination, that freed servant, who had much power with Claudius, very saucily had almost all the words: and amongst other things, he asked in scorn one of the examinats, who was likewise freed servant of Scribonianus; "I pray, sir, if Scribonianus had been emperor, what would you have done?" He answered; "I would have stood behind his chair and held my peace."

81. Dionysius the tyrant, after he was deposed and brought to Corinth, kept a school. Many used to visit him; and amongst others, one, when he came in, opened his mantle and shook his clothes, thinking to give Dionysius a gentle scorn; because it was the manner to do so for them that came in to him while he was tyrant. But Dionysius said to him; "I prithee do so rather when thou goest out, that we may see thou stealest nothing away."

82. Hannibal said of Fabius Maximus, and of Marcellus, whereof the former waited upon him, that he could make no progress, and the latter had many sharp fights with him; "That he feared Fabius like a tutor, and Marcellus like an enemy."

83. Diogenes, one terrible frosty morning, came into the market-place, and stood naked, quaking, to show his tolerance. Many of the people came about him, pitying him: Plato passing by, and knowing he did it to be seen, said to the people as he went by, "If you pity him indeed, leave him alone."

84. Sackford, master of the requests to Queen Elizabeth, had diverse times moved for audience, and been put off. At last he came to the queen in a progress, and had on a new pair of boots. When he came in, the queen said to him, "Fy, sloven, thy new boots stink." "Madam," said he, "it is not my new boots that stink; but it is the stale bills that I have kept so long."

85. One was saying that his great-grandfather, and grandfather, and father, died at sea; said an

95. Alexander used to say of his two friends, Craterus and Hephæstion; that Hephaestion loved Alexander, and Craterus loved the king.

96. It fell out so, that as Livia went abroad in Rome, there met her naked young men that were sporting in the streets, which Augustus was about severely to punish in them; but Livia spake for them, and said, "It was no more to chaste women than so many statues."

97. Alonso of Arragon was wont to say in com

in four things: old wood best to burn; old wine to drink; old friends to trust; and old authors to

is

90. At an act of the commencement, the answerer gave for his question, that an aristocracy was better than a monarchy. The replier, who was a dissolute fellow, did tax him, that being a private bred man, he would give a question of state. The answerer said, that the replier did much wrong the privilege of scholars, who would be much straitened if they should give questions of nothing but such things wherein they are practised and added, "We have heard yourself dispute of virtue, which no man will say you put much in practice."

91. There was a dispute, whether great heads or little heads had the better wit. And one said, "It must needs be the little; for that it is a maxim, Omne majus continet in se minus."

92. Solon when he wept for his son's death, and one said to him, "Weeping will not help ;" answered, "Alas, therefore I weep, because weeping will not help."

93. Solon being asked, whether he had given the Athenians the best laws, answered, "Yes, the best of those that they would have received."

94. One said to Aristippus, "It is a strange thing why men should rather give unto the poor, than to VOL. I.-15

98. It was said of Augustus, and afterward the like was said of Septimius Severus, both which did infinite mischief in their beginnings, and infinite good toward their ends, "that they should either have never been born or never died."

99. Queen Isabella of Spain used to say "Whosoever hath a good presence, and a good fashion, carries letters of recommendation.

100. Trajan would say of the vain jealousy of princes, that seek to make away those that aspire to their succession; "That there was never king that did put to death his successor."

101. When it was represented to Alexander, tc the advantage of Antipater, who was a stern and imperious man, that he only of all his lieutenants wore no purple, but kept the Macedonian habit of black; Alexander said, "Yea, but Antipater is all purple within."

102. Constantine the Great, in a kind of envy, himself being a great builder, as Trajan likewise was, would call Trajan “Parietaria:" wall-flower; because his name was upon so many walls.

103. Philip of Macedon was wished to banish one for speaking ill of him. But Philip answered; "Better he speak where we are both known, than where we are both unknown."

104. A Grecian captain advising the confederates that were united against the Lacedæmonians, touching their enterprise, gave opinion, that they should go directly upon Sparta, saying; "That the state of Sparta was like rivers; strong when they had run a great way, and weak towards their head."

105. Alonso of Arragon was wont to say of himself, "That he was a great necromancer, for that he used to ask counsel of the dead:" meaning books.

106. Lucullus entertained Pompey in one of his magnificent houses: Pompey said, "This is a marvellous fair and stately house for the summer: but methinks it should be very cold for winter." Lucullus answered, "Do you not think me as wise as divers fowls are, to change my habitation in the winter season?"

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