WILDERNESS MERCIES. LETTER XIII. COULD the people of God's pleasure be still under circumstances which portend danger, and sometimes seem to threaten a total overthrow; how better it would be for the peace and comfort of their souls, our dear Lord's rebuke to the disciples on many occasions, was, “O ye of little faith, wherefore did ye doubt;" but this is the weakness and sinfulness of our base natures always to forget him; earthly things all partake of the fall, and though they come to the believer, stamped with the Lord's love, the working of them is like a bitter mixture which penetrates to the very vitals, ere we discover them to work together for good. 66 I had, from all human appearance, at the aspect of affairs with my partner, but little ground of hope that he meant to be a honest man but even here, mercy and loving kindness were on the wing, and the sword of judgement had pierced the callous heart, and made my poor fellow sinner tremble: when I beheld him, the scene was painful, the poor creature bleeding from the mouth, and his countenance looked ghastly; conscience had become a witness in my favour, and everything wore a frightful feature, his wife weeping by his bed-side entreated me to pray for his recovery; these things were of no ordinary account to me, as the request was made by one who hated me and my Lord ; but I obeyed and said something I should now call confusion confused." Every thing now devolved upon me in business matters, and I was obliged to engage a man till I saw how things would turn with the afflicted, watching further the Lord's hand with me; I determined to leave the first opportunity. The poor man gradually recovered, and as soon as I was able, stated to him my intention of not continuing longer than matters could be fairly settled between us, and wished himto prepare the accounts for that purpose; this I knew must open up another source of trial, but at length the Lord appeared for me and I was finally delivered from my adversary. It hath been remarked, that oft times it is darkest just before the day breaks, and so it is with the Lord's tried family when he is about to save them, that the deliverance may appear the greater in order for a song of praise to go forth to his great name. I now felt liberty, the Lord sanctified the trial and we prepared again for another rout; the cutting disappointment which our proud hearts met with all served under the kind and wise management of our never failing friend to lay us in the dust. And this I saw was the way that every castle I had built was to be tumbled down, instead of being a master, I must be content with journey-work, and be made content at the future opening of the Lord's providence. I accordingly wrote to my old master who willingly promised to receive me, and prepared a house for our reception. This was all under the guidance of him whose watchful eye ever is upon his people for good; and let them rehearse to one another the dealings of his love and care that attends them in the wilderness; this was in the year 1806, and my age little more than 22 years, having now entered our new abode we had a little respite and set down under a pleasing gourd for some time. I did my work with pleasure, and my employer smiled upon me, and as my wife's friends were respectable, it gave me a better introduction to the notice of society, superior to many who stood upon a level with myself. The gentleman in whose employ I was, purposed to erect an evening school for the good of the poor boys in the village, and the lady intended one for girls to learn plain needle-work in the day-time, and I and my wife were appointed to take the management thereof. Thus favours rolled in upon us, in addition to my salary from the mill ; besides I had the privilege of again meeting with my few despised friends in the Lord, and things smiled around; but this state was of no long duration, a year had scarcely ended, ere I began to decline in my health and frequently felt very ill. An intermitting disorder took fast hold of me, that brought me very low, and rendered me unfit for everything; this continued for more than a year and a half. The Lord was pleased to cast this bitter into my cup to teach me experimentally that troubles do not spring out of the earth or come by chance; nor did the adversary appear without commission who distressed me greatly under this affliction. I now began to try the healing art, and spent much for doctors, but all to no purpose, and I grew very peevish and felt great rebellion working in my depraved heart, it was drawn out in various forms to burthen my poor life; a sick body and a tempting devil with little patience and grace in exercise will try to the quick, a temper irritable, and a constitution nervous, often cause many of God's children much inward sorrow. Dear Romaine honestly confessed he "sometimes felt as many evil tempers in him as the Devil"; blessed be the name of our God he does not always design these flames to kindle upon us. No, there shall also be great humility given to the child in the furnace, and grace to kiss the rod and be still. Sometimes I was not able to get to the mill by six weeks together, with a heavy doctor's bill increasing and I growing worse; and used to wonder how it would end with me, "deep calling to deep" comfort in the Lord often suspended the promises all out of sight, fear and trembling took fast hold upon me, till drops of sweat ran down my body under this deep exercise, and I gave up all, but the Lord did not give me up, for at length I recovered in a small measure, but for several years afterwards was a poor afflicted creature, and from the birth of my first child to the third, knew not what a week's real health was to enjoy, always under the skill of a lovely host of medical practitioners, whose attendance to my pocket was never forgotten; drained of every shilling in this way, the mind sickens at its own folly, so it was with me, in the prospect of a large doctor's bill which was soon very politely handed in, and at a time when I had not the means to discharge it; distressed to know how I should get through, I cried, "why all this Lord, mine is a dark path indeed, wilt thou not help me to look up to thee in faith for the payment; and heal my poor body? And while I had my face before the Lord with strong cries day and night, the way was opened, and God brought help to his poor mourner, for one morning to my surprise, my father-in-law came over to inform us, an old lady, a relation of his being dead, had left all his children a legacy which would amount to near £30 to my wife; O. the Lord's goodness, thought I, can it be for me at this needy time; and my poor frame could hardly bear up at the tidings. This dear kind interposition of the Lord's hand was committed with deep soul humility, and melted down my spirit to adore and praise his unabating goodness, but it was not always so when the cross laid heavy, and the flesh was suffered to prevail for a time, for a more perverse, obstinate rebellious wretch never existed,so that I can with Job say, "behold, I am vile." O, Lord, but thou art righteous and gracious too; Christ hath died for the ungodly; and his fear ruling in iny heart enables me to say, the chief of sinners; none worse now in the confines of despair. Rapid changes were now about to take place, and new and heavy trials appointed of God from eternity to meet me in the wilderness. My master had a paralytic stroke which called me to attend often upon him, and by the same means my own health and strength was somewhat established; but who can tell what a day may bring forth, my wife being near her confinement met with a fall upon the ice in the kitchen, which proved the means of her death; who can fathom the dealings of the Almighty, or say to him, what dost thou in taking from me at a stroke, the dearest gift I posessed of an earthly kind. The Lord was come out against me like an armed man, not in wrath, but in loving divine Majesty, and I trembled before him, while the solemn ordinance seemed to say, "be still and know that I am God." I now as it were appeared to awake out of a dream to behold my irreparable loss, I told the Lord I could not live in such a divided state unless he poured in supplies of grace to bear up my poor mind, and sure I am, had not help been given, I should have died, but how does one circumstance, terrific as it may be to our feelings make way for others; and what poor sinful shorsighted worms are we, thinking, and acting, and saying, as if we had control over ourselves. Alas! for the frailty of poor human nature, under the weight of this loss, when I could retire, I spent hours by myself in some wood or grove, to seek relief, and meditate upon the providence of him whose will is love, tho' often his hand is hid in the dark; and here I had well nigh gone to the extreme of neglecting all personal and relative duty, as home and things about my dwelling only seemed to increase my sorrow. At length the Lord shewed me a better course to follow; I had at that time many sweet letters sent me from many christian friends, and one among the rest was from a brother, a Baptist minister, whom I had known for several years; this, his spiritual epistle roused my torpid mind, and not far distant, I from that period became a member of that despised church under the pastoral care of William Scandritt, Sible Hedingham, Essex. And now began a fresh dispensation of my life; as the Lord was carrying out his own blessed will towards me altogether new, the distance I had to travel (in order to meet this little band of Christians) was twenty miles, there and back again in one day, tired the poor body and mind, and not finding that comfort my case required, I entreated the Lord to give me another partner in life suited to my mind, and one that feared him, although I knew not where to look, nor had I any one upon my mind, and strange to tell, while I laid the matter before the Lord, I was hard to believe there could ever be found another woman upon the earth I could love, and questioned the same, as to whether it could be possible any one could feel affection for me and my children, but concluded nothing was too hard for the Lord to do, and well knew all that stood in his book of decrees must be accomplished; but how would the unbelief of our base hearts frustrate, if possible, and deny us of the greatest blessing the Lord desired for us to enjoy ; contrary to all this my prayer in accordance with the pleasure of sovereign love was answered, and 1 found my widowhood daily diminish in the prospect of a second alliance with a daughter-in-law of Daniel Herbert; but the dear old man strove hard to deny me the heavenly gift, on the ground that he did not like to part with her, and as self is a prominent part in most of us I put in my claim upon higher grounds, and at length received her from his hand and heart with his Christian blessing. God be praised thus far my Wilderness mercies were made clear to me. Essex. J. G. EXTRACT FROM A LETTER. I was then led to hang upon that precious verse you named :"The soul that has leaned upon Christ for repose, He'll never, no never, desert to his foes; That soul though all hell should endeavour to shake, No other verse that was ever printed is so precious to me, for they are the last words I said to my dear father just before he entered into the joy of his Lord; and as I repeated them, his soul seemed ready to burst with joy, and calmly said, I am happy-happy-happy, and in a moment that happy spirit took its flight to be with Jesus.-S. G. B. TO S. G. B. TRULY thine was a heart-warning testimony. The fact has often struck us with astonishment that when the Lord has indulged us late in the month with a word of comfort and encouragement suitable to some one or more of the dear tried members of his family, he has, in return, by their pen, sent a word of comfort and encouragement to us at some subsequent season when our soul has felt in peculiar need of the same. Thus a blessed exchange has been made-the souls of each have in turn, been led to feel their need, then enlarged and comforted-and God, even our own God, has been glorified. Sister (unknown, yet well known) it appears that thou art in affliction-bodily affiction; well, it is all right; although thou with ourselves, may appear to thyself as much the nature of chance; and thy pathway, with its sorrows and perplexities, may seem to have rested upon thine own choice and thine own froward will, yet, we verily believe, that when the vision, which now appears to tarry, shall come, it shall speak to the praise and glory of God, that every trial-every sorrow-every perplexity, with all its attendant anguish, shall have been ordered--and lovingly and wisely too-by Him who has said, "I will lead the blind by a way that they know not, and in paths that they have not seen;" and, depend upon it, it will then prove blessed to have been among the number of the Lord's poor, blind children.-ED. A LOVE TOKEN FOR "METRIOS." DEAR BROTHER IN OUR GLORIOUS COVENANT HEAD, Your kind salutations in the October number of the GOSPEL MAGAZINE stirred up in me the fellowship of the Spirit, and I felt myself at once transported across the Atlantic. Glad indeed am I to find that there are some of the election of grace in that land, which I had thought accurately described by Ezekiel in the following words, " But the miry places thereof, and the marishes thereof, shall not be healed; they shall be given to salt" (Ezek. xlvii. 11). From all the accounts which have reached me, I have been accustomed to think of the religion of America as the pioneer of Popery, because of its decided Arminian cast; and when some of our English divines have returned from thence with their diplomas, trumpeting the wonderful revivals of their Transatlantic brethren, I have been ready to weep over the religious farce, which seems to me to be but the prologue to the tragedy of Popish ascendancy, with all its attendant horrors, to which the Americans, as well as Europeans, seem quite blind, although its progress is at more than railroad pace. Americans and Europeans too, ought to deal with Popery not as a religious thing, but as a conspiracy against all civil rule, all civil interests, and all civil freedom. If it were only a difference of religion, or of forms of worship, I would say let it alone; but as it aims at supremacy over all kings, and over all governments, kings, presidents, and rulers, ought for their own sakes to deal with it as the common foe of mankind, apart from all consideration of religion, for that is only the cloak for its diabolical policy. However, while everything seems preparing for the last great struggle between Antichrist and the living church of God, I rejoice that the election of grace, whether in New Brunswick or in London, are safe in the hands of their Covenant God; and though many of them are likely yet to go home from the battle-field, from the torture-room, and from the stake, their home is prepared, and all the Persons of the Trinity are pledged each to other to bring them to it. All real religion is comprised in two words-"Worship God" (Rev. xxii. 9). Pagans worship devils, Papists worship Mary, and Arminians worship free-will; but Christians worship God. And if they are asked who is the God they worship? or what is the worship they offer to him? their answer to both these questions will be uniform, however diversified by nation, education, or custom; and this accounts for the reciprocity of feeling between brother "Metrios" in America, and some of the correspondents in the GOSPEL MAGAZINE: and this fellowship of the spirit may be greatly increased if our unknown brother will comply with our esteemed Editor's request appended to his letter, especially if he will throw off his disguise, and favour us with his real name and address. The God we worship is the God who has revealed himself in his word as the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the covenant God of his covenant people-the "Three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the word, and the Holy Ghost, which three are one" (1 John v. 7). The eternal, immutable, self-existent Jehovah, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow |