on one of the coach horfes, to fetch Dr. Slop, the manmidwife, who, being already on the way to Shandy-hall, met him not far from the houfe; the circumftances and confequence of which rencounter, between the Doctor and Obadiah, are thus related:

Imagine to yourself a little, fquat, uncourtly figure of a Doctor Slop, of about four feet and a half perpendicular height, with a breadth of back, and a fefquipedality of belly, which might have done honour to a Serjeant in the Horfe-Guards.

• Such were the out-lines of Dr. Slop's figure, which,if you have read Hogarth's analyfis of beauty, and if you have not, I wish you would; you must know, may as certainly be caracatured, and conveyed to the mind by

three ftrokes as three hundred.

Imagine fuch a one,-for fuch, I fay, were the out-lines of Dr. Slop's figure, coming flowly along, foot by foot, waddling thro' the dirt upon the vertebræ of a little dininutive pony,-of a pretty colour;-but of strength,― either that regard, in which he is in duty bound to the good lady, his mother, as a fon; or that which he owes the public, as a writer; in leaving the former fo long in the excruciating pains of childbirth, and the latter in doubt, whether he will be delivered or not, before the publication of his two next volumes, this time twelvemonth; or, in truth, whether it may be even then, or not. He may, indeed, affert that he himself is a living witness that the whole affair is over and past; and that his mother is now at her eafe, either in this world or the other. But he is not the first perfon whofe life and existence have been called in queftion: and, if ever, as we are informed in hiftory, fuch a man as Mr. Partridge, an almanackmaker and proteftant-aftrologer, could fo far be deceived, as to conceit himself alive, when he was proved to all intents and purpofes virtually and actually dead; how do we know whether Mr. Trilbram Shandy, gentleman, may not conceive he was born and is alive, when in fact he is ftill an embrio, and there is no fuch perfon breathing? Our Author had better not put it to the proof; but get himfelf born as faft as he can. Indeed, confidering the time elapied, the Midwife being come, the Doctor in waiting, and every thing ready, it would have coft him but very little to have pufhed forward the delivery, that the Midwife might have brought it about before the end of the last chapter. A circumftance that would have faved his tender-hearted readers a world of pain, which they must now undergo, in fympathizing with the diftrefs of the poor woman in the ftraw; who is there deferted by the ungracious fruit of her fufferings.

alack!

alack!fcarce able to have made an amble of it, under • fuch a fardel, had the roads been in an ambling condition. They were not.Imagine to yourself, Obadiah mounted upon a strong monfter of a coach-horse, pricked • into a full gallop, and making all practicable speed the adverfe way.

Pray, Sir, let me intereft you a moment in this de• fcription.

Had Dr. Slop beheld Obadiah a mile off, pofting in a narrow lane directly towards him, at that monftrous rate,— fplashing and plunging like a devil thro' thick and thin, as he approached, would not fuch a phænomenon, with fuch a vortex of mud and water moving along with it, round its axis,--have been a subject of jufter apprehenfion to Dr. Slop in his fituation, than the worst of Whiston's comets?-To fay nothing of the NUCLEUS; that is, of Obadiah and the coach-horse.-In my idea, the vortex alone ⚫ of them was enough to have involved and carried, if not the Doctor, at least the Doctor's pony quite away with it. What then do you think must the terror and hydrophobia of Dr. Slop have been, when you read, (which you are juft going to do) that he was advancing thus warily along towards Shandy-Hall, and had approached to within fixty yards of it, and within five yards of a fudden turn, made by an acute angle of the garden wall,-and in the dirtieft · part of a dirty lane,-when Obadiah and his coach-horfe • turned the corner, rapid, furious,-pop,-full upon him! -Nothing, I think, in nature, can be fuppofed more terrible, than fuch a rencounter,-fo imprompt! fo ill prepared to stand the shock of it as Dr. Slop was!

What could Dr. Slop do?-He croffed himself +Pugh!-but the Doctor, Sir, was a Papift.-No matter; he had better have kept hold of the pummel. — He had fo;-nay, as it happened, he had better have done nothing at all;-for in croffing himself he let go his whip,and in attempting to fave his whip betwixt his knee and his faddle's fkirt, as it flipped, he loft his ftirrup,-in lofing which, he loft his feat ;-and in the multitude of all thefe • loffes, (which, by the bye, fhews what little advantage there is in croffing) the unfortunate Doctor loft his pre⚫ fence of mind. So that, without waiting for Obadiah's onfet, he left his pony to its destiny, tumbling off it diagonally, fomething in the ftile and manner of a pack of wool, and without any other confequence from the fall, • fave

fave that of being left, (as it would have been) with the • broadest part of him sunk about twelve inches deep in the mire.

Obadiah pulled off his cap twice to Dr. Slop ;-once as he was falling,-and then again when he faw him feat' ed.-Ill timed complaifance !had not the fellow better have ftopped his horfe, and got off and helped him?——— Sir, he did all that his fituation would allow ;-but the • momentum of the coach-horfe was fo great, that Obadiah • could not do it all at once;-he rode in a circle three times round Dr. Slop, before he could fully accomplish it any how; and at the laft, when he did ftop his beaft, it was done with fuch an explofion of mud, that Obadiah had better have been a league off. In fhort, never was a Dr. Slop fo beluted, and fo tranfubftantiated, fince that affair < came into fashion.'

<

On the whole, we will venture to recommend Mr. Triftram Shandy, as a writer infinitely more ingenious and entertaining than any other of the prefent race of novellifts. His characters are ftriking and fingular, his obfervations fhrewd and pertinent; and, making a few exceptions, his humour is easy and genuine.

MONTHLY

CATALOGUE.

For DECEMBER 1759, continued.

MISCELLANEOUS.

Art. 1. The True Mentor; or an Effay on the Education of young People of Fashion. Tranflated from the French of the Marquis Caraccioli. 12mo, 2s. 6ď. Coote.

S we have mentioned this work on its first publication abroad,

As among our foreign articles, we shall only

appears to no better advantage in its English than in its French dress. It may, nevertheless, have its ufe, among thofe who can overlook that poverty of stile, and tritenefs of fentiment, which too much prevail as well in the original as in the tranflation. That our Readers, however, may not complain of our paffing over this performance too lightly, we fhall give the Author's reflections on the waste and value of Time, as not the worst fpecimen of the Author's manner of moralizing, and of the file of the Translator.

See Review, Vol, XX, p, 554,

⚫ Time

• Time ought to be held more precious by us than all the gold in the world; and yet we fee it moft thamefully fquandered, in ender ours to am is a little dirty pelf. We mut Kill me! cry the children of the world; and, alas! it is time that ki ls us: for our • life is composed of days, hours, and minutes, every one of which is continually fixing away with fome portion of it; infomuch, that the very inftant i am now writing is gone beyond all hopes of a <return. Therefore one should think, that a man of the leaft re•fection, could not hear the clock trike without a finib e emotion.

It would be some excuse it this detrayin, of time brought any < real pleature with it; but it rather begets an uneaunefs.

Vi e cape,

we fretch, we figh, we laugh, we fing, turn a rard, fondle a dig, go abroad to fee and to be feen, long for the next hour, and with the next hour comes, are not pleafed with it, because it is prefect; ⚫ then we return to reit, with an intention of beginning the fame round the following day, and so on, till the infant in which we ceale to live; and then we may ask ourselves. What have I beca doing all the time I have been upen eath? My life has neither ⚫ been of fervice to myfelf nor others; fo that I might as well have • been born a trick or a itene.

• What pencil can paint! what pen can defcribe to youth, the ra lae of that time which they waite in the perfuit of trifies, and ⚫ which of itfelt fies with inen an amazing rapidity? Young peo ple fondly imagine, that there is no lie without the enjoyment of pleafare, when at the fame time it is pleafare that fhortens life. • How many inlances have we of young men of quality, who wail⚫ed by debauch, fee themfelves reduced to broths and jellies at five and twenty? Pleasure is to be found only in the infant before enjoyment, and not while we are enjoying it; fo that it is impofile for us ever to attain to it.'

6

Art. 2. A new Vocabulary or Grammar of the true Pronunciatin of the Engih, in form of a Dictionary; by which Freigners may at once be inftructed to pronounce plainly, and with Exle, all the difficult Words in that Language; ranged accorå ing to the Order of the Parts of Speech, explained in all thi different Significations, accented with their proper Accents, and of which the Pronunciation is marked by fimilar Sounds in French; with the neceffary Principles to learn by one's felf, and in a very foort Time, the English Language. By V. J. Pevton, Auther of the true Principles of the English Language. 12mo. 3s. Davey and Law, &c.

Mr. Peyton appears to have taken a great deal of pains to render this work ufeful to foreigners, to which purpofe it fecins, indeed, to be extremely well adapted.

Art. 3. A plain and cafy Treatife of Vulgar Arithmetic: Cr taining all the Rules that commonly go under that Title, with the fhartoft and most exact Methods of working the Examp

in each Rule. To which are added, variety of neceffary and ufeful Questions unwrought, with their Anfwers annexed; being chiefly defigned to exercife the Learner's Genius, and make him ftill more ready at Computation. The whole calculated for the Ufe of Merchants, Tradefmen, Retailing Shopkeepers, &c. and of others who having neglected this Branch of Learning in their Youth, are defirous of gaining a competent Knowlege of Numbers in a fhort Time. By R. Shepherd, Writing-Mafter and Accomptant in Prefton. 12mo. 2s. 6d. Stuart.

This Author is modeft enough to fay, in his Preface, that the Reader will, perhaps, here find as ujeful and fatisfactory a Treatife of Vulgar Arithmetic offered to him, as he will any where meet with, or can reafonably with or defire.' But we can reasonably with and defire fomething more, when new Treatifes appear upon old fubjects; and if as good fyftems of Arithmetic have appeared before, which is the truth, and, perhaps, not all the truth; Mr. Shepherd acknowleges that he has taken great pains to little purpose.

Art. 4. The Auction: A modern Novel.

Lownds.

12mo. 2 vols. 6s.

Whether the title of this modern Novel was written for the book, or the book for the title, we know not: but, by the little fhare which the buûness of an Auction has in the ftory, we fhould be apt to imagine, that without fome particular reafon, fo inconfiderable a portion of it would hardly have given appellation to the whole.

It has, indeed, been hinted to us, that the Author is indebted, for this part of the work, to the pen of a Writer eminent in the literary world. We do not, however, readily enter into its literary merit: but, it appears to bear a different flamp from the reft of the performance, and to have been written with a view to expofe the tricks and impofitions too often practifed at Auctions.

As to the rest of the work, tho' the ftory be frequently interefting, and the characters not ill fupported, the tile is generally fo very poor, and the narrative fo deftitute of humour or fentiment, that we can recommend it only to fuch as read merely to país away their time, rather than for inftruction or profitable amusement.

Art. 5. A genuine Account of the Life and Trial of William Andrew Horne, Efq; of Butterley-Hall in the County of Derby; who was convicted at Nottingham Affizes, August 10, 1759, for the Murder of a Child in the Year 1724, and executed there December 11, 1759. 8vo. 6d. Nottingham

printed, and fold by Bristow in London.

We have here an account of one of the vileft wretches we have ever heard or read of as the murder of his child, for which he was fo defervedly executed, (after fo long an interval of time between the commiflion of the fact, and his legal punishment) appears to have

been