As Brutus did to Virtue, Liberty,
'I worshipped thee, and find thee but a Shade!'
Such recantation had for me no charm,
Nor would I bend to it; who should have grieved At aught, however fair, that bore the mien Of a conclusion, or catastrophe.
Why then conceal, that, when the simply good In timid selfishness withdrew, I sought Other support, not scrupulous whence it came; And, by what compromise it stood, not nice? Enough if notions seemed to be high-pitched, And qualities determined.-Among men So charactered did I maintain a strife Hopeless, and still more hopeless every hour; But, in the process, I began to feel That, if the emancipation of the world Were missed, I should at least secure my own, And be in part compensated. For rights, Widely-inveterately usurped upon,
I spake with vehemence; and promptly seized All that Abstraction furnished for my needs Or purposes; nor scrupled to proclaim, And propagate, by liberty of life, Those new persuasions. Not that I rejoiced, Or even found pleasure, in such vagrant course, For its own sake; but farthest from the walk Which I had trod in happiness and peace, Was most inviting to a troubled mind;
That, in a struggling and distempered world, Saw a seductive image of herself.
Yet, mark the contradictions of which Man Is still the sport! Here Nature was my guide, The Nature of the dissolute; but thee, O fostering Nature! I rejected-smiled At others' tears in pity; and in scorn
At those, which thy soft influence sometimes drew From my unguarded heart.—The tranquil shores Of Britain circumscribed me'; else, perhaps I might have been entangled among deeds, Which, now, as infamous, I should abhor- Despise, as senseless: for my spirit relished Strangely the exasperation of that Land, Which turned an angry beak against the down Of her own breast; confounded into hope Of disencumbering thus her fretful wings.
But all was quieted by iron bonds Of military sway. The shifting aims, The moral interests, the creative might, The varied functions and high attributes Of civil action, yielded to a power Formal, and odious, and contemptible.
-In Britain, ruled a panic dread of change;
The weak were praised, rewarded, and advanced; And, from the impulse of a just disdain,
Once more did I retire into myself.
There feeling no contentment, I resolved
To fly, for safeguard, to some foreign shore, Remote from Europe; from her blasted hopes; Her fields of carnage, and polluted air.
Fresh blew the wind, when o'er the Atlantic Main The ship went gliding with her thoughtless crew; And who among them but an Exile, freed From discontent, indifferent, pleased to sit Among the busily-employed, not more With obligation charged, with service taxed, Than the loose pendant-to the idle wind Upon the tall mast streaming. But, ye Powers
Of soul and sense mysteriously allied,
O, never let the Wretched, if a choice
Be left him, trust the freight of his distress To a long voyage on the silent deep!
For, like a plague, will memory break out; And, in the blank and solitude of things
Upon his spirit, with a fever's strength,
Will conscience prey.-Feebly must they have felt Who, in old time, attired with snakes and whips The vengeful Furies. Beautiful regards
Were turned on me—the face of her I loved; The Wife and Mother pitifully fixing Tender reproaches, insupportable!
Where now that boasted liberty? No welcome From unknown objects I received; and those, Known and familiar, which the vaulted sky Did, in the placid clearness of the night,
Disclose, had accusations to prefer Against my peace. Within the cabin stood That volume-as a compass for the soul- Revered among the nations. I implored Its guidance; but the infallible support Of faith was wanting. Tell me, why refused To One by storms annoyed and adverse winds Perplexed with currents; of his weakness sick Of vain endeavours tired; and by his own, And by his nature's, ignorance, dismayed!
Long-wished-for sight, the Western World appeared; And, when the ship was moored, I leaped ashore Indignantly-resolved to be a man,
Who, having o'er the past no power, would live No longer in subjection to the past,
With abject mind-from a tyrannic lord
Inviting penance, fruitlessly endured.
So, like a fugitive, whose feet have cleared Some boundary, which his followers may not cross In prosecution of their deadly chase,
Respiring I looked round.-How bright the sun, How promising the breeze! Can aught produced In the old World compare, thought I, for power And majesty with this gigantic stream, Sprung from the desert? And behold a city Fresh, youthful, and aspiring! What are these To me, or I to them? As much at least
As he desires that they should be, whom winds
And waves have wafted to this distant shore, In the condition of a damaged seed,
Whose fibres cannot, if they would, take root. Here may I roam at large;-my business is, Roaming at large, to observe, and not to feel And, therefore, not to act-convinced that all Which bears the name of action, howsoe'er Beginning, ends in servitude--still painful, And mostly profitless. And, sooth to say, On nearer view, a motley spectacle Appeared, of high pretensions-unreproved But by the obstreperous voice of higher still; Big passions strutting on a petty stage; Which a detached spectator may regard Not unamused.-But ridicule demands Quick change of objects; and, to laugh alone, At a composing distance from the haunts Of strife and folly, though it be a treat As choice as musing Leisure can bestow; Yet in the very centre of the crowd, To keep the secret of a poignant scorn, Howe'er to airy Demons suitable,
Of all unsocial courses, is least fit
For the gross spirit of mankind,-the one
That soonest fails to please, and quickliest turns Into vexation.
Leave this unknit Republic to the scourge
Of her own passions; and to regions haste,
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