Speed. Twenty to one then, he is shipp'd already; And I have play'd the sheep, in losing him. Pro. Indeed a sheep doth very often stray, An if the shepherd be awhile away. Speed. You conclude that my master is a shepherd then, and I a sheep? Pro. I do. Speed. Why then my horns are his horns, whether Speed. Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her; no, not so much as a ducat for delivering your letter and being so hard to me that brought your mind, I fear, she'll prove as hard to you in telling her mind. Give her no token but stones; for she's as hard as steel. Pro. What, said she nothing? Speed. No, not so much as-take this for thy pains. To testify your bounty, I thank you, you have testern'd me; in requital whereof, henceforth carry your letters yourself: and so, sir, I'll commend you to my master. Pro. Go, go, be gone, to save your ship from Which cannot perish, having thee aboard, Pro. A silly answer, and fitting well a sheep. Speed. This proves me still a sheep. Pro. True; and thy master a shepherd. Speed. Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance. Pro. It shall go hard, but I'll prove it by another. Speed. The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the sheep the shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master seeks not me: therefore, I am no I sheep. I fear, my Julia would not deign my lines, Pro. The sheep for fodder follow the shepherd,|| Receiving them from such a worthless post. the shepherd for food follows not the sheep; thou for wages followest thy master, thy master for wages follows not thee: therefore, thou art a sheep. Speed. Such another proof will make me cry baa. Pro. But dost thou hear? gav'st thou my letter to Julia? Speed. Ay, sir: I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her, a laced mutton; and she, a laced mutton, gave me, a lost mutton, nothing for my labour. Pro. Here's too small a pasture for such a store of muttons. Speed. If the ground be overcharged, you were best stick her. Pro. Nay, in that you are astray; 'twere best pound you. Speed. Nay, sir, less than a pound shall serve me for carrying your letter. Pro. You mistake; I mean the pound, a pinfold. Speed. From a pound to a pin? fold it over and over, 'Tis threefold too little for carrying a letter to your lover. Pro. But what said she? did she nod? Speed. I. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-The same. Garden of Julia's Would'st thou then counsel me to fall in love? Jul. Of all the fair resort of gentlemen, Luc. Please you, repeat their names, I'll show According to my shallow simple skill. Jul. What think'st thou of the fair Sir Eglamour? Jul. What think'st thou of the rich Mercatio? Luc. Pardon, dear madam; 'tis a passing [Speed nods. That I, unworthy body as I am, Pro. Nod, I? why, that's noddy.2 Speed. You mistook, sir; I say, she did nod: and you ask me, if she did nod; and I say, I. Pro. And that set together, is-noddy. Speed. Now you have taken the pains to set it together, take it for your pains. Pro. No, no, you shall have it for bearing the letter.. Speed. Well, I perceive, I must be fain to bear with you. Pro. Why, sir, how do you bear with me? Speed. Marry, sir, the letter very orderly; having nothing but the word, noddy, for my pains. Pro. Beshrew3 me, but you have a quick wit. Speed. And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse. Pro. Come, come, open the matter in brief: what said she? Speed. Open your purse, that the money, and the matter, may be both at once delivered.' Pro. Well, sir, here is for your pains: what said she? Speed. Truly, sir, I think you'll hardly win her. from her? (1) A term for a courtezan. (2) A game at cards. (3) Ill betide. Should censure thus on lovely gentlemen. Jul. Why not on Proteus, as of all the rest? Luc. Then thus,- of many good I think him best. Jul. Your reason? Luc. Ay, if you thought your love not cast away. Jul. I would, I knew his mind. He would have given it you, but I, being in the way, (4) Given me a sixpence. Did in your name receive it; pardon the fault, pray. Jul. Now, by my modesty, a goodly broker!! Dare you presume to harbour wanton lines? To whisper and conspire against my youth? Now, trust me, 'tis an office of great worth, And you an officer fit for the place. There, take the paper, see it be return'd; Or else return no more into my sight. Jul. This babble shall not henceforth trouble me Here is a coil with protestation! [Tears the letter Go, get you gone; and let the papers lie: To be so anger'd with another letter. [Exit. Jul. Nay, would I were so anger'd with the same! Luc. To plead for love deserves more fee than O hateful hands, to tear such loving words! hate. Jul. Will you be gone? Luc. That you may ruminate. [Exit. Jul. And yet, I would I had o'erlook'd the letter. It were a shame to call her back again, And pray her to a fault for which I chid her. What fool is she, that knows I am a maid, And would not force the letter to my view? Since maids, in modesty, say No, to that Which they would have the profferer construe, Ay. Fie, fie! how wayward is this foolish love, That, like a testy babe, will scratch the nurse, And presently, all humbled, kiss the rod! How churlishly I chid Lucetta hence, When willingly I would have had her here! How angrily I taught my brow to frown, When inward joy enforc'd my heart to smile! My penance is, to call Lucetta back, And ask remission for my folly past:What ho! Lucetta! Jul. Nothing. What is't you took up Why did'st thou stoop then? Luc. To take a paper up that I let fall. Jul. And is that paper nothing? Luc. Nothing concerning me. Jul. Then let it lie for those that it concerns. Luc. Madam, it will not lie where it concerns, Unless it have a false interpreter. Jul. Some love of yours hath writ to you in rhyme. Luc. That I might sing it, madam, to a tune: Give me a note: your ladyship can set Jul. As little by such toys as may be possible: Best sing it to the tune of Light o' love. Luc. It is too heavy for so light a tune. Jul. Heavy? belike it hath some burden then. Luc. Ay; and melodious were it, would you sing Injurious wasps! to feed on such sweet honey, I throw thy name against the bruising stones, And thus I search it with a sovereign kiss. I see things too, although you judge I wink. SCENE III.-The same. A room in Antonio's Pan. He wonder'd, that your lordship Would suffer him to spend his youth at home; While other men, of slender reputation,9 Put forth their sons to seek preferment out: Some, to the wars, to try their fortune there; Some, to discover islands far away; Some, to the studious universities. For any, or for all these exercises, He said, that Proteus, your son, was meet; And did request me, to importune you, To let him spend his time no more at home, (5) A challenge. (6) Bustle, stir. (7) Since. (8) Serious. (9) Little consequence. Pant. 'Twere good, I think, your lordship sent him thither: There shall he practise tilts and tournaments, Ant. I like thy counsel; well hast thou advis'd: And, that thou may'st perceive how well I like it, The execution of it shall make known; Even with the speediest execution I will despatch him to the emperor's court. Pant. To-morrow, may it please you, Don Al- SCENE I-Milan. An apartment in the phonso, With other gentlemen of good esteem, Are journeying to salute the emperor, Ant. Good company; with them shall Proteus go And, in good time,-now will we break with him.2 Enter Proteus. Pro. Sweet love! sweet lines! sweet life! Ant. How now? what letter are you reading there? Pro. May't please your lordship, 'tis a word or two Of commendation sent from Valentine, Ant. Lend me the letter; let me see what news. writes How happily he lives, how well belov'd, Ant. And how stand you affected to his wish? Pro. As one relying on your lordship's will, And not depending on his friendly wish. Ant. My will is something sorted with his wish Muse3 not that I thus suddenly proceed; For what I will, I will, and there an end. I am resolv'd, that thou shalt spend some time With Valentinus in the emperor's court; What maintenance he from his friends receives, Like exhibition thou shalt have from me. To-morrow be in readiness to go: Excuse it not, for I am peremptory. Pro. My lord, I cannot be so soon provided; Please you, deliberate a day or two. Ant. Look, what thou want'st, shall be sent after thee: No more of stay; to-morrow thou must go.— (2) Break the matter to him. (4) Allowance. (1) Reproach. (3) Wonder. Duke's palace. Enter Valentine and Speed. Speed. Sir, your glove. Val. Not mine; my gloves are on. Speed. Why then this may be yours, for this is but one. Val. Ha! let me see: ay, give it me, it's mine: Speed. Madam Silvia! madam Silvia ! Speed. She is not within hearing, sir. Speed. And yet I was last chidden for being too slow. Val. Go to, sir; tell me, do you know madam Silvia? Speed. She that your worship loves? Val. Why, how know you that I am in love? Speed. Marry, by these special marks: First, you have learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreath your arms like a male-content; to relish a love-song, like a robin-red-breast; to walk alone, like one that had the pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had lost his A. B. C.; to weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes diet;5 to watch, like one that fears robbing: to speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas 6 You were wont, when you laugh'd, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look on you, I can hardly think you my master. Val. Are all these things perceived in me? Speed. Without you? nay, that's certain, for, without you were so simple, none else would: but you are so without these follies, that these follies are within you, and shine through you like the water in a urinal; that not an eye, that sees you, (5) Under a regimen. (6) All allowmas. Val. No, madam; so it stead you, I will write, Please you command, a thousand times as much: And yet, Sil. A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel; well||And yet I will not name it :-and yet I care not;And yet take this again;-and yet I thank you; Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more, Speed. And yet you will; and yet another yet. Val. I mean, that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite. Speed. That's because the one is painted, and the other out of all count. Val. How painted? and how out of count? Speed. Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty. Val. How esteemest thou me? I account of her beauty. Speed. You never saw her since she was deformed. Val. How long hath she been deformed? Val. I have loved her ever since I saw her, and still I see her beautiful. Speed. If you love her, you cannot see her. Speed. Because love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes; or your own had the lights they were wont to have, when you chid at Sir Proteus for going ungartered! Val. What should I see then? Speed. Your own present folly, and her passing deformity for he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose; and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose. Val. Belike, boy, then you are in love; for last morning you could not see to wipe my shoes. Speed. True, sir; I was in love with my bed: I thank you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours. Val. In conclusion, I stand affected to her. Speed. I would you were set; so, your affection would cease. Val. Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to one she loves. Sil. Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand. Speed. He should give her interest; and she gives it him. Val. As you enjoin'd me, I have writ your letter, (1) Whipped. (2) A puppet-show. | [Aside. Val. What means your ladyship? do you not like it? Sil. Yes, yes; the lines are very quaintly writ: But since unwillingly, take them again; Nay, take them. Val. Madam, they are for you. Sil. Ay, ay; you writ them, sir, at my request: But I will none of them; they are for you: I would have had them writ more movingly. My master sues to her; and she hath taught her suitor, He being her pupil, to become her tutor. Val. How now, sir? what are you reasoning with yourself? Speed. Nay, I was rhyming; 'tis you that have Val. No, believe me. Speed. No believing you indeed, sir: but did you perceive her earnest? Val. She gave me none, except an angry word. Val. I would, it were no worse. For often you have writ to her; and she, in modesty, Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply, (4) There's the conclusion. Or fearing else some messenger, that might her mind discover, Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover.— All this I speak in print; for in print I found it.— Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner-time. so. Now come I to my father; Father, your blessing; now should not the shoe speak a word for weeping; now should I kiss my father; well, he weeps on :-now come I to my mother, (O, that she could speak now!) like a wood woman;—well, I kiss her-why there 'tis ; here's my mother's breath up and down: now come I to my sister; mark the moan she makes: now the dog all this while sheds Speed. Ay, but hearken, sir: though the came-not a tear, nor speaks a word; but see how I lay leon, Love, can feed on the air, I am one that am the dust with my tears. nourished by my victuals, and would fain have, meat: O, be not like your mistress; be moved, be moved. [Exeunt. Val. I have dined. SCENE II-Verona. A room in Julia's house. Enter Proteus and Julia. Pro. Have patience, gentle Julia. Jul. I must, where is no remedy. Pro. When possibly I can, I will return. Jul. If you turn not, you will return the sooner: Keep this remembrance for thy Julia's sake. [Giving a ring. Pro. Why then we'll make exchange; here, take you this. Jul. And seal the bargain with a holy kiss. Pro. Here is my hand for my true constancy; And when that hour o'er-slips me in the day, Wherein I sigh not, Julia, for thy sake, The next ensuing hour some foul mischance Torment me for my love's forgetfulness! My father stays my coming; answer not; The tide is now: nay, not the tide of tears; That tide will stay me longer than I should; Enter Panthino. Pan. Launce, away, away, aboard; thy master is shipped, and thou art to post after with oars. What's the matter? why weepest thou, man? Away, ass; you will lose the tide, if you tarry any longer. Laun. It is no matter if the ty'd were lost; for it is the unkindest ty'd that ever any man ty'd. Pan. What's the unkindest tide? Laun. Why, he that's ty'd here; Crab, my dog. Pan. Tut, man, I mean thou'lt lose the flood; and, in losing the flood, lose thy voyage; and, in thy master, lose thy service; and, in losing thy serlosing thy voyage, lose thy master; and, in losing vice,-Why dost thou stop my mouth? Laun. For fear thou should'st lose thy tongue. Pan. In thy tail? Laun. Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the master, and the service? The tide !-why, man, if the river were dry, I am able to fill it with my tears; if the wind were down, I could drive the boat with sighs. Pan. Come, come away, man; I was sent to call thee. [Exit Julia.my SCENE III-The same. A street. Enter Launce, leading a dog. Laun. Nay, 'twill be this hour ere I have done weeping; all the kind of the Launces have this very fault: I have received my proportion, like the prodigious son, and am going with Sir Proteus to the Imperial's court. I think, Crab my dog be the sourest-natured dog that lives: my mother weeping, my father wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat wringing her hands, and all our house in a great perplexity, yet did not this cruel-hearted cur shed one tear: he is a stone, a very pebble. stone, and has no more pity in him than a dog: a Jew would have wept to have seen our parting; why, my grandam having no eyes, look you, wept herself blind at my parting. Nay, I'll show you the manner of it: This shoe is my father-no, this! left shoe is my father:-no, no, this left shoe is my mother; nay, that cannot be so neither;-yes, it is! so, it is so; it hath the worser sole: this shoe, with the hole in it, is my mother, and this my father: a vengeance on't! there 'tis : now, sir, this staff is my sister; for, look you, she is as white as a lily, and as small as a wand: this hat is Nan, our maid; I am the dog-no, the dog is himself, and I am the Jog.-O, the dog is me, and I am myself; ay, so, (1) Kindred. (2) Crazy, distracted. Laun. Sir, call me what thou darest. Pan. Wilt thou go? Speed. Master, Sir Thurio frowns on you. Val. Of my mistress then. Speed. 'Twere good, you knocked him. Val. Indeed, madam, I seem so. Thu. So do counterfeits. Thu. What seem I, that I am not? Thu. What instance of the contrary? Thu. And how quotes you my folly? Fal. Well, then, I'll double your folly. Sil. What, angry, sir Thurio? do you change colour? Fal. Give him leave, madam; he is a kind of cameleon. Thu. That hath more mind to feed on your blood, than live in your air. |