N° 263. Tuesday, January 1.

1712.

Gratulor quod eum quem neceffe erat diligere, qualifcunque effet, talem habemus ut libenter quoque diligamus. Trebonius apud Tull.

Mr. SPECTATOR,

I

Am the happy Father of a very towardly Son, in whom I do not only fee my Life, but alfo my Manner of Life, renewed. It would be extreamly beneficial to Society, if you would frequently refume Subjects which ferve to bind these Sort of Relations faster, and endear the Tyes of Blood with thofe of Good-will, Protection, Obfervance, Indulgence and Veneration. I would, methinks, have this done after an uncommon Method, and do not think any one, who is not capable of writing a good Play, fit to undertake a Work wherein there will neceffarily occur fo many fecret Inftincts, and Biaffes of human Nature which would pafs un• obferved by common Eyes. I thank Heaven I have no outragious Offence against my own excellent Parents to anfwer for, but when I am now and then alone, and look back upon my past Life, from my earliest Infancy to this Time, there are many Faults which I committed that did not appear to me, even 'till I my self became · a Father. I had not till then a Notion of the Earnings of Heart, which a Man has when he fees his Child do a laudable Thing, or the fudden Damp which feizes ⚫ him when he fears he will act fomething unworthy. It' is not to be imagined, what a Remorfe touched me for a long Train of childifh Negligences of my Mother," when I faw my Wife the other Day look out of the Window, and turn as pale as Afhes upon feeing my younger Boy fliding upon the Ice. Thefe flight Inti mations will give you to understand, that there are numberlefs little Crimes, which Children take no Notice of while they are doing, which, upon Refle tion, when they fhall themselves become Fathers, VOL. IV.

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they

they will look upon with the utmost Sorrow and Contrition, that they did not regard, before those whom they offended were to be no more feen. How many thousand Things do I remember, which would have highly pleafed my Father, and I omitted for no other Reason, but that I thought what he propofed the Effect of Humour and old Age, which I am now convinced had Reafon and good Senfe in it. I cannot now go into the Parlour to him, and make his Heart glad with an Account of a Matter which was of no Confequence, but that I told it, and acted in it. The good Man and Woman are long fince in their Graves, who used to fit and plot the Welfare of us their Children, while, perhaps, we were fometimes laughing at the old Folks at another End of the Houfe. The Truth of it is, were we merely to follow Nature in thefe great Duties of Life, tho' we have a strong Inftinct towards the performing of them, we fhould be on both Sides very deficient. Age is fo unwelcome to the Generality. of Mankind, and Growth towards Manhood fo defirable to all, that Refignation to Decay is too difficult a Task in the Father; and Deference, amidft the Impulse of gay Defires, appears unreasonable to the Son. There are to few who can grow old with a good Grace, and yet fewer who can come flow enough into the World, that a Father, were he to be actuated by his Defires, and a Son, were he to confult himself only, could neither of them behave himself as he ought to the other. But when Reafon interpofes against Instinct, where it would carry either out of the Interefts of the other, there arifes that happiest Intercourfe of good Offices between ⚫ thofe dearest Relations of human Life. The Father, ac⚫cording to the Opportunities which are offered to him, is throwing down Bleffings on the Son, and the Son endeavouring to appear the worthy Off-fpring of fuch a Father. It is after this Manner that Camillus and his firft-born. dwell together. Camillus enjoys a pleafing and indolent old Age, in which Paffion is fubdued,and Reafon exalted. He waits the Day of his Diffolution with a Refignation • mixed with Delight, and the Son fears the Acceffion of his Father's Fortune with Diffidence, left he should not enjoy or become it as well as his Predeceffor. Add to

this, that the Father knows he leaves a Friend to the Children of his Friends, an eafy Landlord to his Te'nants, and an agreeable Companion to his Acquaintance. 'He believes his Son's Behaviour will make him frequently remembred, but never wanted. This Commerce is 'fo well cemented, that without the Pomp of faying, Son, be a Friend to fuch a one when I am gone; Camillus knows, being in his Favour, is Direction enough to the ' grateful Youth who is to fucceed him, without the Ad'monition of his mentioning it. Thefe Gentlemen are 'honoured in all their Neighbourhood, and the fame Ef. 'fect which a Court has on the Manners of a Kingdom, their Characters have on all who live within the Influ ence of them.

MY Son and I are not of Fortune to communicate our good Actions or Intentions to fo many as thefe Gentle men do; but I will be bold to fay, my Son has, by the Applaufe and Approbation which his Behaviour to 'wards me has gained him, occafioned that many an old Man, befides my felf, has rejoyced. Other Men's Chil 'dren follow the Example of mine, and I have the inex◄ 'preffible Happiness of over-hearing our Neighbours as we ride by, point to their Children, and fay, with a Voice of Joy, There they go.

YOU cannot, Mr. SPECTATOR, pafs your Time better than in infinuating the Delights which thefe Re'lations well regarded bestow upon each other. Ordinary Paffages are no longer fuch, but mutual Love gives an Importance to the moft indifferent Things, and a Merit. to Actions the moft infignificant. When we look round the World, and obferve the many Mifunderstandings which are created by the Malice and Infinuation of the meaneft Servants between People thus related, how neceffary will it appear that it were inculcated, that Men would be upon their Guard to fupport a Conftancy of Affection, and that grounded upon the Principles of Reason, not the Impulfes of Inftinét.

IT is from the common Prejudices which Men re'ceive from their Parents, that Hatreds are kept alive. 'from one Generation to another; and when Men act by, Instinct, Hatreds will defcend when good Offices are forgotten. For the Degeneracy of humane Life is fuch,

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that our Anger is more easily transferred to our Children than our Love. Love always gives fomething to the Object it delights in, and Anger fpoils the Perfon against whom it is moved of fomething laudable in him: From this Degeneracy therefore, and a fort of SelfLove, we are more prone to take up the Ill-will of our Parents, than to follow them in their Friendships.

C ONE would think there fhould need no more to 'make Men keep up this fort of Relation with the utmoft Sanctity, than to examine their own Hearts. If every Father remembred his own Thoughts and Incli⚫ nations when he was a Son, and every Son remembred what he expected from his Father, when he himself ' was in a State of Dependance, this one Reflection would preferve Men from being diffolute or rigid in thefe feveral Capacities. The Power and Subjection between ⚫ them when broken, make them more emphatically Ty⚫rants and Rebels against each other, with greater Cruelty ⚫ of Heart, than the Disruption of States and Empires can poffibly produce. I fhall end this Application to you with two Letters which paffed between a Mother and Son very lately, and are as follows.

Dear FRANK,

: IF

6

F the Pleasures, which I have the Grief to hear you purfue in Town, do not take up all your Time, do not deny your Mother fo much of it, as to read ferioufly this Letter. You faid before Mr. Letacre, that ⚫ an old Woman might live very well in the Country upon half my Jointure, and that your Father was a fond Fool to give me a Rent-Charge of Eight hundred a Year to the Prejudice of his Son. What Letacre faid to you upon that Occafion, you ought to have born with more ⚫ Decency, as he was your Father's well-beloved Servant, than to have call'd him Country-putt. In the first Place, Frank, I must tell you I will have my Rent duly paid, for I will make up to your Sifters for the Partiality I was guilty of, in making your Father do fo much as he has done for you. I may, it feems, live upon half my Jointure! I lived upon much lefs, Frank, when I carried you from Place to Place in thefe Arms, and could neither eat, drefs, or mind any Thing for Feed

ing and Tending you a 'weakly Child, and fhedding Tears when the Convulfions you were then troubled with returned upon you. By my Care you outgrew them, to throw away the Vigour of your Youth in the Arms of Harlots, and deny your Mother what is not yours to detain. Both your Sifters are crying to fee the Paffion which I fmother; but if you pleafe to go on thus like a Gentleman of the Town, and forget all Regards to your felf and Family, I fhall immediately enter upon your Eftate for the Arrear due to me, and without one Tear more contemn you for forgetting the Fondness of your Mother, as much as you have the Example of your Father. O Frank, do I live to omit Writing my felf,

I

MADAM,

Your Affectionate Mother,

A. T.

I will take

Will come down to-morrow and pay the Money on my Knees. Pray write fo no more. Care you never fhall, for I will be for ever hereafter Your most dutiful Son,

F. T.

I will bring down new Heads for my Sifters. Pray let all be forgotten.

N° 264. Wednesday, January 2.

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-Secretum iter fallentis Semita vita. Hor.

T has been from Age to Age an Affectation to love the Pleasure of Solitude, among thofe who cannot poilibly be fuppofed qualified for paffing Life in that Manner. This People have taken up from reading the many agreeable Things which have been writ on that Subject, for which we are beholden to excellent Perfons who delighted in being retired and abstracted from the Pleasures that enchant the generality of the World. This way of Life