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Aurengzebe's scimitar, made by Will. Brown in Piccadilly.

A plume of feathers, never used but by Edipus and the Earl of Essex.

tues, and water-works, may be bought cheap in Drury-Lane; where there are likewise several castles to be disposed of, very delightfully situated; as also groves, woods, forests, fountains, and country seats, There are also swords, halberts, sheepwith very pleasant prospects on all sides of hooks, cardinals' hats, turbans, drums, galthem; being the moveables of Christopher lypots, a gibbet, a cradle, a rack, a cartRich, Esq. who is breaking up house-keep-wheel, an altar, a helmet, a back-piece, a ing, and has many curious pieces of furniture to dispose of, which may be seen between the hours of six and ten in the evening.

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The Inventory.

Spirits of right Nants brandy, for lambent flames and apparitions.

Three bottles and a half of lightning, One shower of snow, in the whitest French paper.

Two showers of a browner sort,

A sea, consisting of a dozen large waves, the tentli bigger than ordinary, and a little damaged.

A dozen and a half of clouds, trimmed with black, and well conditioned.

A rainbow, a little faded.

A set of clouds, after the French mode, streaked with lightning, and furbelowed. A new-moon, something decayed.

A pint of the finest Spanish wash, being all that is left of two hogsheads sent over last winter,

A coach, very finely gilt, and little used, with a pair of dragons, to be sold cheap.

A setting-sun, a penny-worth.

An imperial mantle, made for Cyrus the Great, and worn by Julius Cæsar, Bajazet, King Harry the Eighth, and Signior Valentini.

A basket-hilt sword, very convenient to carry milk in.

Roxana's night-gown.
Othello's handkerchief.

The imperial robes of Xerxes, never worn

but once.

A wild boar, killed by Mrs. Tofts, and Dioclesian.

A serpent to sting Cleopatra.

A mustard-bowl, to make thunder with. Another of a bigger sort, by Mr. Dis's directions, little used,

Six elbow-chairs, very expert in country dances, with six flower-pots for their partners.

The whiskers of a Turkish Bassa.

The complexion of a murderer, in a bandbox; consisting of a large piece of burnt cork, and a coal-black peruke,

A suit of clothes for a ghost, viz, a bloody shirt, a doublet curiously pinked, and a coat with three great eyelet-holes upon the breast. A bale of red Spanish wool,

Modern plots, commonly known by the name of trap-doors, ladders of ropes, vizardmasques, and tables with broad carpets over them.

Three oak-cudgels, with one of crab-tree: all bought for the use of Mr. Pinkethman. Materials for dancing; as masques, castanets, and a ladder of ten rounds,

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breast-plate, a bell, a tub, and a jointed baby.

These are the hard shifts we intelligencers are forced to; therefore our readers ought to excuse us, if a westerly wind, blowing for a fortnight together, generally fills every paper with an order of battle; when we show our martial skill in each line, and, according to the space we have to fill, we range our men in squadrons and battalions, to draw out company by company, and troop by troop; ever observing, that no muster is to be made, but when the wind is in a cross point, which often happens at the end of a campaign, when half the men are deserted or killed. The Courant is sometimes ten deep, his ranks close: the Post-boy is generally in files, for greater exactness; and the Post-man comes down upon you rather after the Turkish way, sword in hand, pell-mell, without form or discipline; but sure to bring men enough into the field; and wherever they are raised, never to lose a battle for want of numbers.

No. 75.] Saturday, October 1, 1709,

From my own Apartment, September 30. I AM called off from public dissertations by a domestic affair of great importance, which is no less than the disposal of my sister Jenny for life. The girl is a girl of great merit, and pleasant conversation; but I being born of my father's first wife, and she of his third, she converses with me rather like a daughter than a sister. I have indeed told her, that if she kept her honour, and behaved herself in such a manner as became the Bickerstaffes, I would get her an agreeable man for her husband; which was a promise I made her after reading a passage in Pliny's Epistles. That polite author had been employed to find out a consort for his friend's daughter, and gives the following character of the man he had pitched upon.

Aciliano plurimum vigoris et industriæ quanquam in maxima verecundia: est illi facies liberalis, multo sanguine, multo rubore, suffusa: est ingenua totius corporis pulchritudo, et quidam senatorius decor, quæ ego nequaquam arbitror negligenda; debet enim hoc castitati puellarum quasi præmium dari.

"Acilianus is a man of extraordinary vigour and industry, accompanied with the greatest modesty. He has very much of the gentleman, with a lively colour, and flush of health in his aspect. His whole person is finely turned, and speaks him a man of quality: which are qualifications, that, I think, ought by no means to be over

looked, and should be bestowed on a daughter as the reward of her chastity."

A woman that will give herself liberties, need not put her parents to so much trouble; for if she does not possess these ornaments in a husband, she can supply herself elsewhere. But this is not the case of my sister Jenny, who, I may say, without vanity, is as unspotted a spinster as any in Great Britain, I shall take this occasion to recommend the conduct of our own family in this particular. We have in the genealogy of our house, the descriptions and pictures of our ancestors from the time of King Arthur; in whose day's there was one of my own name, a knight of his round table, and known by the name of Sir Isaac Bickerstaffe. He was low of stature, and of a very swarthy complexion, not unlike a Portuguese Jew. But he was more prudent than men of that height usually are, and would often communicate to his friends his design of lengthening and whitening his posterity. His eldest son Ralph (for that was his name) was, for this reason, married to a lady who had little else to recommend her, but that she was very tall and fair. The issue of this match, with the help of his shoes, made a tolerable figure in the next age; though the complexion of the family was obscure, until the fourth generation from that marriage. From which time, until the reign of William the Conqueror, the females of our house were famous for their needlework, and fine skins. In the male line there happened an unlucky accident, in the reign of Richard the Third, the eldest son of Philip, then chief of the family, being born with a hump-back, and very high nose, This was the more astonishing, because none of his forefathers ever had such a blemish; nor indeed was there any in the neighborhood of that make, except the butler, who was noted for round shoulders and a Roman nose: what made the nose the less excusable, was the remarkable smallness of his eyes.

These several defects were mended by succeeding matches; his eyes were opened in the next generation, and the hump fell in a century and a half; but the greatest difficulty was how to reduce the nose; which I do not find was accomplished till about the middle of Henry the Seventh's reign, or rather the beginning of that of Henry the Eighth. But while our ancestors were thus taken in cultivating the eyes and nose, the face of the Bickerstaffe's fell down insensibly into chin; which was not taken notice of (their thoughts being so much employed upon the more noble features) till it became almost too long to be remedied.

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in our bones, insomuch that we did not recover our health and legs, till Sir Walter Bickerstaffe married Maud the milkmaid, of whom the then Garter king at arms (a facetious person) said pleasantly enough, "That she had spoiled our blood, but mended our constitutions.

After this account of the effect our prudent choice of matches has had upon our persons and features, I cannot but observe, that there are daily instances of as great changes made by marriage upon mens' minds and humours. One might wear any passion out of a family by culture, as skilful gardeners blot a colour out of a tulip that hurts its beauty. One might produce an affable temper out of a shrew, by grafting the mild upon the choleric; or raise a jackpudding from a prude, by inoculating mirth and melancholy. It is for want of care in the disposing of our children, with regard to our bodies and minds, that we go into a house, and see such different complexions and humours in the same race and family. But to me it is as plain as a pike-staff, from what mixture it is, that this daughter silently lowers, the other steals a kind look at you, a third is exactly well behaved, a fourth a splenetic, and a fifth a coquette.

In this disposal of my sister, I have chosen, with an eye to her being a wit, and provided, that the bridegroom be a man of a sound and excellent judgment, who will seldom mind what she says when she begins to harangue: for Jenny's only imperfection is an admiration of her parts, which inclines her to be a little, but a very little, sluttish; and you are ever to remark, that we are apt to cultivate most, and bring into observation, what we think most excellent in ourselves, or most capable of improvement. Thus my sister, instead of consulting her glass and her toilet for an hour and an half after her private devotion, sits with her nose full of snuff, and a man's nightcap on her head, reading plays and romances. wit she thinks her distinction; therefore knows nothing of the skill of dress, or making her person agreeable. It would make you laugh, to see me often with my spectacles on lacing her stays; for she is so very a wit, that she understands no ordinary thing in the world.

Her

For this reason I have disposed of her to a man of business, who will soon let her see, that to be well dressed, in good humour, and cheerful in the command of her family, are the arts and sciences of female life. I could have bestowed her upon a fine gentleman, who extremely admired her wit, and would But length of time, and successive care in have given her a coach and six: but I found our alliances, have cured this also, and re-it absolutely necessary to cross the strain duced our faces into that tolerable' oval which we enjoy at present. I would not be tedious in this discourse, but cannot but observe, that our race suffered very much about three hundred years ago, by the marriage of one of her heiresses with an eminent courtier, who gave us spindle-shanks, and cramps

for had they met, they had eternally been rivals in discourse, and in continual conten tion for the superiority of understanding, and brought forth critics, pedants, or pretty good poets.

As it is, I expect an offspring fit for the habitation of city, town, or country; crea

tures that are docile and tractable in what- | but my design is to treat only of those who ever we put them to.

To convince men of the necessity of taking this method, let any one, even below the skill of an astrologer, behold the turn of faces he meets as soon as he passes Cheapside Conduit, and you see a deep attention, and a certain unthinking sharpness, in every countenance. They look attentive, but their thoughts are engaged on mean purposes. To me it is very apparent, when I see a citizen pass by, whether his head is upon woollen, silks, iron, sugar, indigo, or stocks. Now this trace of thought appears or lies hid in the race for two or three generations.

I know at this time a person of a vast estate, who is the immediate descendant of a fine gentleman, but the great-grandson of a broker, in whom his ancestor is now revived. He is a very honest gentleman in his principles, but cannot for his blood talk fairly: he is heartily sorry for it; but he cheats by constitution, and over-reaches by instinct.

have chiefly proposed to themselves the latter as the principal reward of their labours. It was for this reason that I excluded from my tables of fame all the great founders and votaries of religion; and it is for this reason also, that I am more than ordinarily anxious to do justice to the persons of whom I am now going to speak; for since fame was the only end of all their enterprizes and studies, a man cannot be too scrupulous in allotting them their due proportion of it. It was thi consideration which made me call the whole body of the learned to my assistance; to many of whom I must own my obligations for the catalogues of illustrious persons which they have sent me in upon this occasion. I yesterday employed the whole afternoon in comparing them with each other; which made so strong an impression upon my imagination, that they broke my sleep for the first part of the following night, and at length threw me into a very agreeable vision, which I shall beg leave to describe in all its particulars.

The happiness of the man who marries my sister will be, that he has no faults to correct in her but her own, a little bias of I dreamed that I was conveyed into a wide fancy, or particularity of manners, which and boundless plain, that was covered with grew in herself, and can be amended by her. prodigious multitudes of people, which no From such an untainted couple, we can hope. man could number. In the midst of it there to have our family rise to its ancient splen- stood a mountain, with its head above the dour of face, air, countenance, manner, and clouds. The sides were extremely steep, shape, without discovering the product of and of such a particular structure, that no ten nations in one house. Obadiah Green-creature, which was not made in a human hat says, he never comes into any company figure, could possibly ascend it. On a sudin England, but he distinguishes the different den there was heard from the top of it, a nations of which we are composed: there is sound like that of a trumpet; but so exceedscarce such a living creature as a True Bri- ing sweet and harmonious, that it filled the ton. We sit down, indeed, all friends, ac- hearts of those who heard it with raptures, quaintance, and neighbours; but after two and gave such high and delightful sensations, bottles, you see a Dane start up and swear, as seemed to animate and raise human na"The kingdom is his own." A Saxon drinks ture above itself. This made me very much up the whole quart, and swears, "He will amazed to find so very few in that innumedispute that with him." A Norman tells rable multitude, who had ears fine enough them both, "He will assert his liberty:" to hear or relish this music with pleasure: And a Welshman cries, "They are all for- but my wonder abated, when, upon looking eigners, and intruders of yesterday,” and round me, I saw most of them attentive to beats them out of the room. Such ac- three sirens, clothed like goddesses, and discidents happen frequently among neigh- tinguished by the names of Sloth, Ignorance, bours' children, and cousin-germans. For and Pleasure. They were seated on three which reason I say, "Study your race, or rocks, amidst a beautiful variety of groves, the soil of your family will dwindle into cits meadows, and rivulets, that lay on the boror 'squires, or run up into wits or madmen."*ders of the mountain. While the base and

No. 81.] Saturday, October 15, 1709.

Hic manus ob patriam pugnando vulnera passi,
Quique pii Vates & Phobo digna locuti,
Inventas aut qui vitam excoluere per artes,
Quique sui memores alios fecere merendo.-Virg.

From my own Apartment, October 14. THERE are two kinds of immortality; that which the soul really enjoys after this life, and that imaginary existence by which men live in their fame and reputation. The best and greatest actions have proceeded from the prospect of the one or the other of these;

* Sir Richard Steele assisted in this paper.

groveling multitude of different nations, ranks and ages, were listening to these delusive deities, those of a more erect aspect, and exalted spirit, separated themselves from the rest, and marched in great bodies towards the mountain from whence they heard the sound, which still grew sweeter the more they listened to it.

On a sudden, methought this select band sprang forward, with a resolution to climb the ascent, and follow the call of that. heavenly music. Every one took something with him that he thought might be of assistance to him in his march. Several had their swords drawn; some carried rolls of paper in their hands, some had compasses, others quadrants, others telescopes, and others pen

their hands, marched on with great spirit, and an air of defiance, up the road that was commanded by Death; while others, who had thought and contemplation in their looks, went forward in a more composed manner up the road possessed by Envy. The way above these apparitions grew smooth and uniform, and was so delightful, that the travellers went on with pleasure, and in a little time arrived at the top of the mountain. They here began to breath a deliabout them covered with a kind of purple light, that made them reflect with satisfac tion on their past toils, and diffused a secret joy through the whole assembly, which showed itself in every look and feature. In the midst of these happy fields, there stood a palace of a very glorious structure: it had four great folding doors, that faced the four several quarters of the world. On the top of it was enthroned the goddess of the moun

cils; some had laurels on their heads, and others buskins on their legs. In short, there was scarce any instrument of a mechanic art, or liberal science, which was not made use of on this occasion. My good demon, who stood at my right hand during the course of this whole vision, observing in me a burning desire to join that glorious company, told me, he highly approved that generous ardour with which I seemed transported; but at the same time advised me to cover my face with a mask all the while Icious kind of ether, and saw all the fields was to labour on the ascent. I took his council without inquiring into his reasons. The whole body now broke into different parties, and began to climb the precipice by ten thousand different paths. Several got into little alleys, which did not reach far up the hill, before they ended and led no further: and I observed, that most of the artisans, which considerably diminished our number, fell into these paths.

sounded the silver trumpet which had called them up, and cheered them in their passage to her palace. They had now formed themselves into several divisions, a band of historians taking their stations at each door, according to the persons whom they were to introduce.

On a sudden the trumpet, which had hitherto sounded only a march, or a point of war now swelled all its notes into triumph and exultation: the whole fabric shook, and the doors flew open. The first who stepped forward, was a beautiful and blooming hero and, as I heard by the murmurs round me, Alexander the Great. He was conducted by a crowd of historians. The person who immediately walked before him, was remarkable for an embroidered garment, who not being well acquainted with the place, was conducting him to an apartment appointed for the reception of fabulous heroes. The name of this false guide was Quintus Curtius.

We left another considerable body of ad-tain, who smiled upon her votaries, and venturers behind us, who thought they had discovered by-ways up the hill, which proved so very intricate and perplexed, "that, after having advanced in them a little, they were quite lost among the several turnings and windings; and though they were as active as any in their motions, they made but little progress in the ascent. These, as my guide informed me, were men of subtle tempers, and puzzled politics, who would supply the place of real wisdom with cunning and artifice. Among those who were far advanced in their way, there were some that by one false step fell backward, and lost more ground in a moment, than they had gained for many hours, or could be ever able to recover, We were now advanced very high, and observed, that all the different paths which run about the sides of the mountain, began to meet in two great roads, which insensibly gathered the whole multitude of travellers into two great bodies. At a little distance from the entrance of each road, there stood a hideous phantom, that opposed our further passage. One of these apparitions had his right hand filled with darts, which he brandished in the face of all who came up that way. Crowds ran back at the appearance of it, and cried out, "Death.” The spectre that guarded the other road, was Envy. She was not armed with weapons of destruction, like the former; but, by dreadful hissings, noises of reproach, and a horrid distracted laughter, she appeared more frightful than death itself, insomuch that abundance of our company were discouraged from passing any further, and some appeared ashamed of having come so far. As for myself, I must confess my heart shrunk within me at the sight of these ghastly appearances: but on a sudden, the voice of the trumpet came more full upon us, so that we felt a new resolution reviving in us; and in proportion as this resolution grew, the terrors before us seemed to vanish. Most of the company who had swords in

But Arrian and Plutarch, who knew better the avenues of this palace, conducted him into the great hall, and placed him at the upper end of the first table. My good demon, that I might see the whole ceremony, conveyed me to a corner of this room, where I might perceive all that pass ed, without being seen myself. The next who entered was a charming virgin, leading in a venerable old man that was blind. Under | her left arm she bore a harp, and on her head a garland. Alexander, who was very well acquainted with Homer, stood up at his entrance, and placed him on his right hand. The virgin, who it seems was one of the nine sisters that attended on the goddess of Fame, smiled with an ineffable grace at their meeting, and retired.

Julius Cæsar was now coming forward; and though most of the historians offered their service to introduce him, he left them at the door, and would have no conductor but himself.

The next who advanced, was a man of a

homely but cheerful aspect, and attended by | persons of greater figure than any that appeared on this occasion. Plato was on his right hand, and Xenophon on his left. He bowed to Homer, and sat down by him. It was expected that Plato would himself have taken a place next to his master Socrates; but on a sudden there was heard a great clamour of disputants at the door, who appeared with Aristotle at the head of them. That philosopher, with some rudeness, but great strength of reason, convinced the whole table, that a title to the fifth place was his due, and took it accordingly.

He had scarce sat down, when the same beautiful virgin that had introduced Homer, brought in another, who hung back at the entrance, and would have excused himself, had not his modesty been overcome by the invitation of all who sat at the table. His guide and behaviour made me easily conclude it was Virgil. Cicero next appeared, and took his place. He had inquired at the door for Lucceius to introduce him; but not finding him there, he contented himself with the attendance of many other writers, who all (except Sallust) appeared highly pleased with the office,

ever he was seated, was always at the upper end of the table." Socrates, who had a great spirit of raillery with his wisdom, could not forbear smiling at a virtue which took so little pains to make itself agreeable. Cicero took the occasion to make a long discourse in praise of Cato, which he uttered with much vehemence. Cæsar answered with a great deal of seeming temper: but as I stood at a great distance from them, I was not able to hear one word of what they said. But I could not forbear taking notice, that in all the discourse which passed at the table, a word or a nod from Homer decided the controversy.

After a short pause, Augustus appeared, looking round him with a serene and affable countenance upon all the writers of his age, who strove among themselves, which of them should show him the greatest marks of gratitude and respect. Virgil rose from the table to meet him; and though he was an ac ceptable guest to all, he appeared more such to the learned than the military worthies. The next man astonished the whole table with his appearance: he was slow, solemn, and silent, in his behaviour; and wore a raiment curiously wrought with hieroglyphics. As he came into the middle of the room, he We waited some time in expectation of threw back the skirt of it, and discovered a the next worthy, who came in with a great golden thigh. Socrates, at the sight of it, retinue of historians, whose names I could declared against keeping company with any not learn, most of them being natives of who were not made of flesh and blood; and Carthage. The person thus conducted, who therefore desired Diogenes the Laertian to was Hannibal, seemed much disturbed, and lead him to the apartment allotted for fabucould not forbear complaining to the board lous heroes, and worthies of dubious exisof the affronts he had met with among the tence. Athis going out, he told them, "That Roman historians who attempted, says he, they did not know whom they dismissed, to carry me into the subterraneous apart-that he was now Pythagoras, the first of phiment; and perhaps would have done it, had losophers, and that formerly he had been a it not been for the impartiality of this gentle- very brave man at the siege of Troy." man, (pointing to Polybius,) who was the "That may be very true, (said Socrates ;) only person, except my own countrymen, but you forget that you have likewise been that was willing to conduct me hither. a very great harlot in your time.” This exThe Carthaginian took his seat; and Pom-clusion made way for Archimedes, who pey entered with great dignity in his own came forward with a scheme of matheperson, and preceded by several historians.matical figures in his hand; among which, I Lucan the poet was at the head of them, observed a cone or cylinder. who observing Homer and Virgil at the ta- Seeing this table full, I desired my guide ble, was going to sit down himself, had not for variety to lead me to the fabulous apartthe latter whispered him, "That whatever ment, the roof of which was painted with pretence he might otherwise have had, he Gorgons, Chimeras, and Centaurs, with forfeited his claim to it, by coming in as one many other emblematical figures, which I of the historians." Lucan was so exaspera- wanted both time and skill to unriddle. The ted with the repulse, that he muttered first table was almost full. At the upper something to himself, and was heard to say, end sat Hercules, leaning an arm upon his "That since he could not have a seat among club. On his right hand were Achilles and them himself, he would bring in one who Ulysses, and between them Æneas. On his alone had more merit than their whole as- left were Hector, Theseus, and Jason. The sembly:" upon which he went to the door, lower end had Orpheus, Æsop, Phalaris, and and brought in Cato of Utica. That great Museus. The ushers seemed at a loss for a man approached the company with such an twelfth man, when methought, to my great air, that showed he contemned the hon-joy and surprise, I heard some at the lower our which he laid a claim to. Observing the seat opposite to Cæsar vacant, he took possession of it; and spoke two or three smart sentences upon the nature of precedency, which, according to him, consisted not in place, but in intrinsic merit; to which he added, "That the most virtuous man, where

end of the table mention Isaac Bickerstaffe: but those of the upper end received it with disdain, and said, "If they must have a British worthy, they would have Robin Hood.'

"* While I was transported with the hon

*This last paragraph was written by Sir R. Steel.

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