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In the last place, he ascribed to the un- j apple take only a vermilion, when another, natural tumults and fermentations which with a less quantity of the same infusion, these mixtures raise in our blood, the divi- would rise into a dark purple, according to sions, heats and animosities that reign among the different texture of parts in the liquor." us; and, in particular, asserted, most of the He informed me also, 56 That he could hit modern enthusiasms and agitations to be no- the different shades and degrees of red, as thing else but the effects of adulterated port. they appear in the pink and the rose, the
The council for the brewers had a face so clove and the carnation, as he had Rhenish extremely inflamed and illuminated with or Moselle, perry or white port, to work in." carbuncles, that I did not wonder to see him I was so satisfied with the ingenuity of this an advocate for these sophistications. His virtuoso, that, after having advised him to rhetoric was likewise such as I should have quit so dishonest a profession, I promised expected from the common draught, which him, in consideration of his great genius, to I found he often drank to a great excess, recommend him as a partner to a friend of Indeed, I was so surprised at his figure and mine, who has heaped up great riches, and parts, that I ordered him to give me a taste is a scarlet-dyer. of his usual liquor; which I had no sooner. The artists on my other hand were orderdrank, but I found a pimple rising in my ed in the second place to make some expeforehead; and felt such a sensible decay in riments of their skill before me: upon which my understanding, that I would not proceed the famous Harry Sippet stepped out, and in the trial till the fume of it was entirely asked me, “What I would be pleased to dissipated.
drink?" At the same time he filled out This notable advocate had little to say in three or four white liquors in a glass, and the defence of his clients, but that they were told me, “That it should be what I pleased under a necessity of making claret if they to call for;" adding very learnedly, “That would keep open their doors, it being the the liquor before him was as the naked subnature of mankind to love every thing that is stance or first matter of his compound, to prohibited. He further pretended to reason, which he and his friend, who stood over that it might be as profitable to the nation to against him, could give what accidents or make French wine as French hats; and con- form they pleased.” Finding him so great cluded with the great advantage that this a philosopher, I desired he would convey had already brought to part of the kingdom. into it the qualities and essence of right BorUpon which he informed the court, " That deaux. “Coming, coming, Sir,” said he, the lands in Herefordshire were raised two with the air of a drawer; and after having years purchase since the beginning of the cast his eye on the several tastes, and flawar.""
vours that stood before him, he took up a When I had sent out my summons to these little cruet that was filled with a kind of inky people, I gave at the same time orders to each juice, and pouring some of it out into the glass of them to bring the several ingredients he of white wine, presented it to me, and told made use of in distinct phials, which they me, “This was the wine over which most of had done accordingly, and ranged them into the business of the last term had been distwo rows on each side of the court. The patched." I must confess, I looked upon workmen were drawn up in ranks behind that sooty drug which he held up in his cruet them. The merchant informed me, that in as the quintessence of English Bourdeaux, one row of phials were the several colours and therefore desired him to give me a glass they dealt in, and in the other the tastes. of it by itself, which he did with great unHe then showed me on the right hand one willingness. My cat at that time sat by me who went by the name of Tom Tintoret, upon the elbow of my chair; and as I did who (as he told me) was the greatest master not care for making the experiment upon in his colouring of any vintner in London. myself, I reached it to her to sip of it, which To give me a proof of his art, he took a glass had like to have cost her her life; for, notof fair water; and by the infusion of three withstanding it flung her at first into freakdrops out of one of his phials, converted it ish tricks, quite contrary to her usual gravity, into a most beautiful pale Burgundy. Two in less than a quarter of an hour she fell into more of the same kind heightened it into a convulsions; and had it not been a creature perfect Languedoc: from thence it passed more tenacious of life than any other, would into a florid Hermitage; and after having certainly have died under the operation. gone through two or three other changes, by I was so incensed by the tortures of my the addition of a single drop, ended in a very innocent domestic, and the unworthy deal deep Pontack. This ingenious virtuoso see- ings of these men, that I told them, if each ing me very much surprised at his art, told of them had as many lives as the injured me, “ That he had not an opportunity of creature before them, they deserved to forshowing it in perfection, having only made feit them for the pernicious arts which they ise of water for the ground-work of his used for their profit. I therefore bid them colouring : but that if I were to see an ope- look upon themselves as no better than a ration upon liquors of stronger bodies, the art kind of assassins and murderers within the would appear to much greater advantage.”law. However, since they had dealt so He added, “That he doubted not but it would clearly with me, and laid before me their please my curiosity to see the cider of one whole practice, I dismissed them for that time; with a particular request, "That! The next instance I shall mention is in they would not poison any of my friends and Virgil, where the poet, doubtless, imitates acquaintance, and take to some honest liveli- this silence of Ajax in that of Dido; though hood without loss of time.”
I do not know that any of his commentaFor my own part, I have resolved here-tors have taken notice of it. Æneas finding after to be very careful in my liquors, and among the shades of despairing lovers, the have agreed with a friend of mine in the ghost of her who had lately died for him, army, upon their next march, to secure me with the wound still fresh upon her, adtwo hogsheads of the best stomach-wine in dresses himself to her with expanded arms, the cellars of Versailles, for the good of my floods of tears, and the most passionate prolucubrations, and the comfort of my old age. fessions of his own innocence as to what had
happened ; all which Dido receives with the
dignity and disdain of a resenting lover, and No. 133.] Tuesday, February 14, 1709.
an injured queen; and is so far from vouch
safing him an answer, that she does not give Dum tacent, clamant.---Tull.
him a single look. The poet represents her: .' Sheer-Lane, February 13. as turning away her face from him while he SILENCE is sometimes more significant spoke to her, and after having kept her and sublime than the most noble and most eyes for some time upon the ground, as one expressive eloquence, and is on many occa- that heard and contemned his protestations, sions the indication of a great mind. Sever- flying from him into the grove of myrtle, and al authors have treated of silence as a part into the arms of another, whose fidelity had of duty and discretion, but none of them have deserved her love. considered it in this light, Homer compares ! I have often thought our writers of tragethe noise and clamour of the Trojans ad- dy have been very defective in this particuvancing towards the enemy, to the cackling lar, and that they might have given great of cranes when they invade an army of pig- beauty to their works, by certain stops and mies. On the contrary, he makes his coun-pauses in the representation of such passions, trymen and favourites, the Greeks, move as it is not in the power of language to exforward in a regular determined march, and press. There is something like this in the in the depth of silence, I find in the ac- last act of Venice Preserved, where Pierre counts which are given us of some of the is brought to an infamous execution, and more eastern nations, where the inhabitants begs of his friend, as a reparation of past inare disposed by their constitutions and cli- juries, and the only favour he could do him, mates to higher strains of thought, and more to rescue him from the ignominy of the elevated raptures than what we feel in the wheel, by stabbing him. As he is going to northern regions of the world, that silence make this dreadful request, he is not able to is a religious exercise among them. For communicate it, but withdraws his face from when their public devotions are in the his friend's ear, and bursts into tears. The greatest fervor, and their hearts lifted up as melancholy silence that follows hereupon, high as words can raise them, there are cer- and continues till he has recovered himself tain suspensions of sound and motion for a enough to reveal his mind to his friend, raises time, in which the mind is left to itself, and in the spectators a grief that is inexpressisupposed to swell with such secret concep-ble, and an idea of such a complicated distions as are too big for utterance. I have tress in the actor as words cannot utter. It myself been wonderfully delighted with a would look as ridiculous to many readers to master-piece of music, when in the very tu- give rules and directions for proper silences, mult and ferment of their harmony, all the as for penning a whisper: but it is certai, voices and instruments have stopped short that in the extremity of most passions, paron a sudden, and, after a little pause, recor- ticularly surprise, admiration, astonishment, ered themselves again, as it were, and re- nay, rage itself, there is nothing more gracenewed the concert in all its parts. Me- ful than to see the play stand for a few mothought this short interval of silence has had ments, and the audience fixed in an agreeamore music in it than any of the same space ble suspense during the silence of a skilful of time before or after it. There are two actor. instances of silence in the two greatest poets But silence never shows itself to so great. that ever wrote, which have something in an advantage, as when it is made the reply them as sublime as any of the speeches in to calumny and defamation, provided that their whole works. The first is that of Ajax, we give no just occasion for them. We in the eleventh book of the Odyssey, Ulys- might produce an example of it in the behases, who had been the rival of this great mian viour of one in whom it appeared in all its in his life, as well as the occasion of his majesty, and one whose silence, as well as death, upon meeting his shade in the region his person, was altogether divine. When of departed heroes, makes his submission to one considers this subject only in its sublimihim with a humility next to adoration, ty; this great instance could not but occur to which the other passes over with dumb sul-me; and since I only make use of it to show len majesty, and such a silence, as (to use the highest example of it, I hope I do not the words of Longinus) had more greatness offend in it. To forbear replying to an unin it than any thing he could have spoken. just reproach, and overlook it with a gener
ous, or (if possible) with an entire neglect of wits upon account of a greyhound, that, it, is one of the most heroic acts of a great after having been his inseparable companion mind. And I must confess, when I reflect for ten years, is at last run mad. Another upon the behaviour of some of the greatest (who I believe is serious) complains to me, men of antiquity, I do not so much admire in a very moving manner, of the loss of a them that they deserved the praise of the wife; and another, in terms still more movwhole age they lived in, as because they con- ing, of a purse of money that was taken from temned the envy and detraction of it. him on Bagshot Heath, and which, he tells
All that is incumbent on a man of worth, me, would not have troubled him if he had who suffers under so ill a treatment, is to lie given it to the poor. In short, there is scarce by for some time in silence and obscurity, till a calamity in human life that has not prothe prejudice of the times be over, and his duced me a letter. reputation cleared. I have often read with It is indeed wonderful to consider how a great deal of pleasure a legacy of the fa- men are able to raise affliction to themselves mous Lord Bacon, one of the greatest geni- | out of every thing. Lands and houses, uses that our own or any country has pro- sheep and oxen, can convey happiness and duced: after having bequeathed his soul, misery into the hearts of reasonable creabody, and estate, in the usual form, he adds, tures.' Nay, I have known a muff, a scarf, “My name and memory I leave to foreign or a tippet, become a solid blessing or misnations, and to my countrymen, after some fortune. A lap-dog has broke the hearts of time be passed over."
thousands. Flavia, who has buried five At the same time that I recommend this children, and two husbands, was never able philosophy to others, I must confess, I am so to get over the loss of her parrot. How poor a proficient in it myself, that if in the often has a divine creature been thrown into course of my lucubrations it happens, as it a fit by a neglect at a ball or an assembly? has done more than once, that my paper is Mopså has kept her chamber ever since the duller than in conscience it ought to be, I last masquerade, and is in greater danger of think the time an age till I have an oppor- her life upon being left out of it, than Clatunity of putting out another, and growing rinda from the violent cold which she caught famous again for two days.
at it. Nor are these dear creatures the I must not close my discourse upon si-only sufferers by such imaginary calamities. lence, without informing my reader, that I many an author has been dejected at the have by me an elaborate treatise on the Apo- censure of one whom he ever looked upon siopesis, called an Etcetera, it being a figure as an idiot ; and many a hero cast into a fit much used by some learned authors, and of melancholy, because the rabble have not particularly by the great Littleton, who, as hooted at him as he passed through the my Lord Chief Justice Coke observes, had streets. Theron places all his happiness a most admirable talent at an &c.
in a running-horse, Suffenus in a gilded chariot, Fulvius in a blue string, and Florio in a
tulip-root. It would be endless to enumeNo. 146.] Thursday, March 16, 1709.
rate the many fantastical afflictions that dis
turb mankind; but as a misery is not to be Permittes ipsis expendere numinibus, quid
measured from the nature of the evil, but Conveniat nobis, rebusque sit utile nostris.
from the temper of the sufferer, I shall preNam pro jucundis aptissima quæque dabunt Dii. Charior est illis homo, quam sibi. Nos animorum
sent my readers, who are unhappy either in Impulsu et cæca magnaque cupidine ducti
reality or imagination, with an allegory, for Conjugium petimus, partumque uxoris ; at illis which I am indebted to the great father and Notum, qui pueri, qualisque futura sit uxor.--Juv.
prince of poets. From my own Apartment, March 15.1" As I was sitting after dinner in my elbowAMONG the various sets of correspondents chair, I took up Homer, and dipped into that. who apply to me for advice, and send up famous speech of Achilles to Priam, in their cases from all parts of Great Britain, which he tells him, that Jupiter has by him there are none who are more importunate two great vessels; the one filled with blesswith me, and whom I am more inclined to ings, and the other with misfortunes ; out of answer, than the complainers. One of them which he mingles a composition for every dates his letter to me from the banks of a man that comes into the world. This paspurling stream, where he used to ruminate sage so exceedingly pleased me, that, as I in solitude upon the divine Clarissa, and fell insensibly into my afternoon's slumber, it where he is now looking about for a conve- wrought my imagination into the following nient leap, which he tells me he is resolved | dream. to take, unless I support him under the loss | When Jupiter took into his hands the of that charming perjured woman. Poor government of the world, the several parts Lavinia presses as much for consolation on of nature, with the presiding deities, did hothe other side, and is reduced to such an ex- mage to him. One presented him with a tremity of despair by the inconstancy of mountain of winds, another with a magazine Philander, that she tells me she writes her of hail, and a third with a pile of thunderletter with her pen in one hand, and her bolts. The stars offered up their influences, garter in the other. A gentleman of an an- the ocean gave in his trident, the earth her cient family in Norfolk is almost out of his fruits, and the sun his seasons. Among the
several deities who came to make their court, ulations, till they swell with generous and on this occasion, the destinies advanced with delightful juices. two great tuns carried before them, one of There was still a third circumstance that which they fixed at the right hand of Jupi- occasioned as great a surprise to the three ter as he sat upon his throne, and the other sisters as either of the foregoing, when they on his left. The first was filled with all the discovered several blessings and calamities blessings, and the other with all the calami- which had never beer in either of the tuns ties, of human life. Jupiter, in the beginning that stood by the throne of Jupiter, and were of his reign, finding the world much more nevertheless as great occasions of happiness innocent than it is in this iron age, poured or misery as any there. These were that very plentifully out of the tun that stood at spurious crop of blessings and calamities his right hand; but as mankind degenerated, which were never sown by the hand of the and became unworthy of his blessings, he set Deity, but grow of themselves out of the abroach the other vessel, that filled the world fancies and dispositions of human creatures. with pain and poverty, battles and distem- Such are dress, titles, place, equipage, false pers, jealousy and falsehood, intoxicating shame, and groundless fear, with the like pleasures and untimely deaths.
vain imaginations that shoot up in trifling, • He was at length so very much incensed weak, and irresolute minds, at the great depravation of human nature, The destinies finding themselves in so great and the repeated provocations which he re- a perplexity, concluded, that it would be ceived from all parts of the earth, that hav- impossible for them to execute the coming resolved to destroy the whole species, mands that had been given them according except Deucalion and Pyrrha, he command- to their first intention; for which reason they ed the destinies to gather up the blessings agreed to throw all the blessings and calamwhich he had thrown away upon the sons of ities together into one large vessel, and in that men, and lay them up till the world should manner offer them up at the feet of Jupiter. be inhabited by a more virtuous and desery- | This was performed accordingly; the eling race of mortals.
dest sister presenting herself before the vesThe three sisters immediately repaired to sel, and introducing it with an apology for the earth, in search of the several blessings what they had done. that had been scattered on it; but found the “O, Jupiter! (says she,) we have gathertask which was enjoined them, to be muched together all the good and evil, the commore difficult than they had imagined. The forts and distresses of human life, which we first places they resorted to, as the most thus present before thee in one promiscuous likely to succeed in, were cities, palaces, and heap. We beseech thee, that thou thyself courts; but, instead of meeting with what wilt sort them out for the future, as in thy they looked for here, they found nothing but wisdom thou shalt think fit. For we acenvy, repining, uneasiness, and the like bitter knowledge, that there & none beside thee ingredients of the left-hand vessel. Where- that can judge what will occasion grief orjoy as, to their great surprise, they discovered in the heart of a human creature, and what content, cheerfulness, health, innocence, and will prove a blessing or a calamity to the other the most substantial blessings of life, person on whom it is bestowed." in cottages, shades, and solitudes.
There was another circumstance no less unexpected than the former, and which gave No. 147.7 Saturday, March 18, 1709. them very great perplexity in the discharge of the trust which Jupiter had comrnitted to
Ut ameris amabilis esto. them. They observed, that several blessings had degenerated into calamities, and
From my own Apartment, March 17 that several calamities had improved into! READING is to the mind, what exercise is blessings, according as they fell into the pos- to the body: as by the one, health is presession of wise or foolish men. They often served, strengthened and invigorated; by found power with so much insolence and im- the other, virtue (which is the health of the patience cleaving to it, that it became a mis- mind) is kept alive, cherished, and confirmfortune to the person on whom it was con- ed. But as exercise becomes tedious and ferred. Youth had often distempers grow- painful when we make use of it only as the ing about it, worse than the infirmities of means of health, so reading is apt to grow old age: wealth was often united to such a uneasy and burthensome, when we apply sordid avarice, as made it the most uncom- ourselves to it only for our improvement in fortable and painful kind of poverty. On virtue. For this reason, the virtue which we the contrary, they often found pain made gather from a fable, or an allegory, is like glorious by fortitude, poverty lost in content, the health we get by hunting; as we are endeformity beautified with virtue. In a word, gaged in an agreeable pursuit, that draws us the blessings were often like good fruits on with pleasure, and makes us insensible of planted in a bad soil, that by degrees fall off the fatigues that accompany it. from their natural relish, into tastes alto- After this preface, I shall set down a very gether insipid or unwholesome; and the ca- beautiful allegorical fable of the great poet lamities like harsh fruits, cultivated in a good whom I mentioned in my last paper, and soil, and enriched by proper grafts and inoc- I whom it is very difficult to lay aside when
one is engaged in the reading of him: and passages in Homer, may suggest abundance this I particularly design for the use of se- of instruction to a woman who lias a mind veral of my fair correspondents, who in their to preserve or recal the affection of her husletters have complained to me, that they have band. Thecare of the person, and the dress, lost the affections of their husbands, and de- with the particular blandishments woven in sire my advice how to recover them. the cestus, are so plainly recommended by - "Juno, (says Homer,) seeing her Jupiter this fable, and so indispensably necessary in seated on the top of mount Ida, and knowing every female, who desires to please, that that he conceived an aversion to her, began they need no further explanation. The disa to study how she should regain his affections, cretion likewise in covering all matrimonial and make herself amiable to him. With quarrels from the knowledge of others, is this thought she immediately retired into taught in the pretended visit to Tethys, in her chamber, where she bathed herself in the speech where Juno addresses herself to ambrosia, which gave her person all its Venus; as the chaste and prudent managebeauty, and diffused so divine an odour, as ment of a wife's charms is intimated by the refreshed all nature, and sweetened both same pretence for her appearing before Juheaven and earth. She let her immortal piter, and by the concealment of the cestus tresses flow in the most graceful manner, and in her bosom, took a particular care to dress herself in se- I shall leave this tale to the consideration veral ornaments, which the poet describes of such good housewives who are never well at length, and which the goddess chose out dressed but when they are abroad, and think as the most proper to set off her person to it necessary to appear more agreeable to all the best advantage. In the next place she men living than their husbands: as also to made a visit to Venus, the deity who presides avoid the appearance of being over fond, over love, and begged of her, as a particular entertain their husbands with indifference, favour, that she would lend her for a while aversion, sullen silence, or exasperating those charms with which she subdued the language. hearts both of gods and men. “For (says
Sheer-Lane, March 17. the goddess) I would make use of them to UPON my coming home last night, I found reconcile the two deities who took care of a very handsome present of wine left for me, me in my infancy, and who, at present, are as a taste of 216 hogsheads which are to be at so great a variance, that they are es- put to sale at £20 a hogshead, at Garratranged from each other's bed." Venus way's Coffee-house, in Exchange-alley, on was proud of an opportunity of obliging so the 22d instant, at three in the afternoon, great a goddess, and therefore made her a and to be tasted in Major Long's vaults from present of the cestus which she used to wear the 20th instant, till the time of sale. This about her own waist, with advice to hide it having been sent to me with a desire that I in her bosom till she accomplished her in- would give my judgment upon it, I immeditention. This cestus was a fine party-co- ately impannelled a jury of men of nice palloured girdle, which, as Homer tells us, had ates and strong heads, who being all of them all the attractions of the sex wrought into it. very scrupulous, and unwilling to proceed The four principal figures in the embroidery rashly in a matter of so great importance, were love, desire, fondness of speech and refused to bring in their verdict till three in conversation, filled with that sweetness and the morning ; at which time the foreman complacency which, says the poet, insensibly pronounced, as well as he was able, “ Ex steal away the hearts of the wisest men. tramd-ordinary French claret." For my
" Juno, after having made these necessary own part, as I love to consult my pillow in preparations, came as by accident into the all points of moment, I slept upon it before presence of Jupiter, who is said to have been I would give my sentence, and this morning as much inflamed with her beauty as when confirmed the verdict. he first stole to her embraces without the Having mentioned this tribute of wine, I consent of their parents. Juno, to cover her must give notice to my correspondents for real thoughts, told him, as she had told Ve- the future, who shall apply to me on this ocnus, that she was going to make a visit to casion, that as I shall decide nothing unadOceanus and Tethys. He prevailed upon visedly in matters of this nature, I cannot her to stay with him, protesting to her, that pretend to give judgment of a right good she appeared more amiable in his eye, than liquor, without examining at least three doever any mortal, goddess, or even herself, zen bottles of it. I must at the same time had appeared to him till that day. The do myself the justice to let the world know, poet then represents him in so great an ar- that I have resisted great temptations in dour, that (without going up to the house this kind; as it is well known to a butcher which had been built by the hands of Vul- in Clare-market, who endeavoured to corcan, according to Juno's direction) he threw rupt me with a dozen and a half of marrowa golden cloud over their heads, as they sat bones. I had likewise a bribe sent me by a upon the top of mount Ida, while the earth fishmonger, consisting of a collar of brawn, beneath them sprung up in lotuses, saffrons, and a jole of salmon; but not finding them hyacinths, and a bed of the softest flowers excellent in their kinds, I had the integrity for their repose.”
to eat them both up without speaking one This close translation of one of the finest word of them. However, for the future, I