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of my great parlour, having ordered Charles
Lillie to take his place upon a joint-stoo.
with a writing-desk before him. John Mor-
phew also took his station at the door; I
having, for his good and faithful services,
appointed him my chamber keeper upon
court days. He let me know, that there
were a great number attending without.
Upon which I ordered him to give notice,
that I did not intend to set upon snuff-boxes.
that day; but that those who appeared for
canes might enter.
The first presented me
with the following petition, which I ordered
Mr. Lillie to read.

after her acquaintance with her husband; | myself in my elbow-chair at the upper end and that grief might retard the birth of her last till fourteen months after his decease. This vision lasted till my usual hour of waking, which I did with some surprise, to find myself alone, after having been engaged almost a whole night in so prodigious a multitude. I could not but reflect with wonder, at the partiality and extravagance of my vision; which, according to my thoughts, has not done justice to the sex. If virtue in men is more venerable, it is in women more lovely; which Milton has very finely expressed in his Paradise Lost, where Adam, speaking of Eve, after having asserted his own pre-eminence, as being first in the creation and internal faculties, breaks out into the following rapture :

-Yet when I approach

Her loveliness, so absolute she seems,
And in herself complete, 'so well to know
Her own, that what she wills to do, or say,
Seems wisest, virtuousest, discreetest, best.
All higher knowledge in her presence falls
Degraded. Wisdom, in discourse with her,
Loses, discountenanced, and like folly shows
Authority and reason on her wait,
As one intended first, not after made
Occasionally and to consummate all,
Greatness of mind, and nobleness, their seat
Build in her loveliest, and create an awe
About her, as a guard angelic placed.

No. 103.] Tuesday, December 6, 1709.
Hæ nugæ seria ducunt

In mala, derisum semel exceptumque sinistre.

Hor.

From my own Apartment, December 5.

THERE is nothing gives a man greater satisfaction, than a sense of having dispatched a great deal of business, especially when it turns to the public emolument. I have much pleasure of this kind upon my spirits at present, occasioned by the fatigue of affairs which I went through last Saturday. It is some time since I set apart that day for examining the pretensions of several who had applied to me for canes, perspectiveglasses, snuff-boxes, orange-flower-waters, and the like ornaments of life. In order to adjust this matter, I had before directed Charles Lillie, of Beaufort-Buildings, to prepare a great bundle of blank licences in the following words:

"You are hereby required to permit the bearer of this cane to pass and repass through the streets and suburbs of London, or any place within ten miles of it, without lett or molestation; provided that he does not walk with it under his arm, brandish it in the air, or hang it on a button; in which case it shall be forfeited; and I hereby declare it forfeited to any one who shall think it safe to take it from him.

"ISAAC BICKERSTAFFE.

The same form, differing only in the provisos, will serve for a perspective, snuff-box, or perfumed handkerchief, I had placed

"To Isaac Bickerstaffe, Esq. Censor of Great Britain.

"The humble Petition of Simon Trippet, Showeth,

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"That your petitioner having been bred up to a cane from his youth, it is now become as necessary to him as any other of his limbs.

"That a great part of his behaviour depending upon it, he should be reduced to the utmost necessities if he should lose the use of it.

"That the knocking of it upon his shoe, leaning one leg upon it, or whistling with it on his mouth, are such great reliefs to him in conversation, that he does not know how to be good company without it.

"That he is at present engaged in an amour, and must despair of success, if it be taken from him.

"Your petitioner therefore hopes that (the premises tenderly considered) your worship will not deprive him of so useful and so necessary a support.

"And your petitioner shall ever, &c," with some compassion, and the more so, Upon hearing of his case, I was touched when, upon observing him nearer, I found he was a prig. I bid him produce his cane in court, which he had left at the door. He did so and I finding it to be very curiously clouded, with a transparent amber head, and a blue ribbon to hang upon his wrist, I immediately ordered my clerk Lillie to lay it up, and deliver out to him a plain joint, headed with walnut; and then, in order to wean him from it by degrees, permitted him to wear it three days in a week, and so abate proportionably till he found himself able to go alone.

The second who appeared, came limping into the court; and setteng forth in his petition many pretences for the use of a cane, I caused them to be examined one by one; but finding him in different stories, and confronting him with several witnesses, who had seen him walk upright, I ordered Mr. Lillie to take in his cane, and rejected his petition as frivolous.

A third made his entry with great difficulty, leaning upon a slight stick, and in danger of falling every step he took. I saw the

weakness of his arms, and hearing that he had married a young wife about a fortnight before, I bid him leave his cane, and gave him a new pair of crutches, with which he went off with great vigour and alacrity. This gentleman was succeeded by another, who seemed very much pleased while his petition was reading, in which he had represented, that he was extremely afflicted with the gout, and set his foot upon the ground with the caution and dignity which accompany that distemper. I suspected him for an impostor, and having ordered him to be searched, I committed him into the hands of Dr. Thomas Smith, of King-street, (my own_corn-cutter,) who attended in an outward room; and wrought so speedy a cure upon him, that I thought fit to send him also away without his cane,

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time for recovery of their lameness than had before allowed them.

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Having dispatched this set of my petition ers, there came in a well dressed man, with a glass tube in one hand, and his petition in the other. Upon his entering the room, he threw back the right side of his wig, put forward his right leg, and advancing the glass to his right eye, aimed it directly at me. In the mean while, to make my observations also, I put on my spectacles; in which posture we surveyed each other for some time. Upon the removal of our glasses, I desired him to read his petition, which he did very promptly and easily; though at the same time it set forth, that he could see nothing distinctly, and was within very few degrees of being utterly blind; concluding with a prayer, that he might be permitted to While I was thus dispensing justice, I strengthen and extend his sight by a glass. heard a noise in my outward room; and in- In answer to this, I told him, he might somequiring what was the occasion of it, my door- times extend it to his own destruction. "As keeper told me, that they had taken up one you are now, (said I,) you are out of the in the very fact as he was passing by my reach of beauty; the shafts of the finest eyes door. They immediately brought in a live- loose their force before they can come at ly, fresh-coloured young man, who made you: you cannot distinguish a toast from an great resistance with hand and foot, but did orange-wench; you can see a whole circle not offer to make use of his cane, which of beauty, without any interruption from an hung upon his fifth button. Upon exami- impertinent face to discompose you. My nation, I found him to be an Oxford scholar, short, what are snares for others". who was just entered at the Temple. He petitioner would hear no more, but told me at first disputed the jurisdiction of the court; very seriously, "Mr. Bickerstaffe, you quite but being driven out of his little law and lo- mistake your man; it is the joy, the pleagic, he told me very pertly, that he looked sure, the employment of my life, to frequent upon such a perpendicular creature as man public assemblies, and gaze upon the fair,” to make a very imperfect figure without a În a word, I found his use of a glass was occane in his hand. It is well known (says casioned by no other infirmity but his vanity, he) we ought, according to the natural situ- and was not so much designed to make him ation of our bodies, to walk upon our hands see, as to make him be seen and distinguishand feet; and that the wisdom of the an-ed by others. I therefore refused him a licients had described man to be an animal of four legs in the morning, two at noon, and three at night; by which they intimated, that a cane might very properly become part of us in some period of life. Upon which, I asked him, "Whether he wore it at his breast to have it in readiness when that period should arrive?" My young lawyer immediately told me, "He had a property in it, and a right to hang it where he pleased, and to make use of it as he thought fit, provided that he did not break the peace with it: (and further said,) that he never took it off his button, unless it were to lift it up at a coachman, hold it over the head of a drawer, point out the circum-whom I have made the general of my dead stances of a story, or for other services of men, acquainted me, that the petitioners were the like nature, that are all within the laws all of that order, and could produce certifiof the land." I did not care to discourage a cates to prove it, if I required it. I was so young man, who, I saw, would come to well pleased with this way of their embalmgood; and because his heart was set upon ing themselves, that I commanded the above his new purchase, I only ordered him to said Morphew to give it in orders to his wear it about his neck, instead of hanging it whole army, that every one who did not upon his button, and so dismissed him. surrender himself up to be disposed of by the upholders, should use the same method to keep himself sweet during his present state of putrefaction.

There were several appeared in court, whose pretensions I found to be very good, and therefore gave many their licences, upon paying their fees; and many others had their licences renewed, who required more

cence for a perspective; but allowed him a pair of spectacles, with full permission to use them in any public assembly, as he should think fit. He was followed by so very few of this order of men, that I have reason to hope this sort of cheats are almost at an end.

The orange-flower men appeared next with petitions, perfumed so strongly with musk, that I was almost overcome with the scent; and for my own sake, was obliged forthwith to licence their handkerchiefs, especially when I found they had sweetened them at Charles Lillie's, and that some of their persons would not be altogether inofJohn Morphew, fensive without them.

I finished my session with great content of mind, reflecting upon the good I had done;

ings of several different animals, and, after great variety of shapes and transformations, went off the stage in the figure of a human creature. The admiration, the applause, the satisfaction of the audience, during this strange entertainment, is not to be expressed. I was very much out of countenance for my dear countrymen, and looked about with some apprehension for fear any foreigner should be present. Is it possible (thought I) that human nature can rejoice in its disfigure turned to ridicule, and distorted into forms that raise horror and aversion? There is something disingenuous and immoral in the being able to bear such a sight. Men of elegant and noble minds, are shocked at seeing the characters of persons who deserve esteem for their virtue, knowledge, or services to their country, placed in wrong lights, and by misrepresentation made the subject of buffoonry. Such a nice abhorrence is not, indeed, to be found among the vulgar; but methinks it is wonderful, that those who have nothing but the outward figure to distinguish them as men, should delight in seeing it abused, vilified, and disgraced.

for however slightly men may regard these | twisted itself into the motions and wreath particularities and little follies in dress and behaviour, they lead to greater evils. The bearing to be laughed at for such singularities, teaches us insensibly an impertinent fortitude, and enables us to bear public censure for things which more substantially deserve it. By this means they open a gate to folly, and oftentimes render a man so ridiculous, as discredit his virtues and capacities, and unqualify them from doing any good in the world. Besides, the giving in to uncommon habits of this nature, is a want of that hum-grace, and take pleasure in seeing its own ble deference which is due to mankind; and (what is worst of all) the certain indication of some secret flaw in the mind of the person that commits them. When I was a young man, I remember a gentleman of great integrity and worth was very remarkable for wearing a broad belt, and a hanger, instead of a fashionable sword, though in all other points a very well bred man. I suspected him at first sight to have something wrong in him, but was not able for a long while to discover any collateral proofs of it. I watched him narrowly for six-and-thirty years, when at last, to the surprise of every body but myself, who had long expected to see the folly break out, he married his own cookmaid.*

No. 108.] Saturday, December 17, 1709.

Pronaque cum spectant animalia cætera terram,
Os homini Sublime dedit, cœlumque tueri
Jussit
Ovid. Met.

Sheer-Lane, December 16. It is not to be imagined, how great an effect well-disposed lights, with proper forms and orders_în assemblies, have upon some tempers. I am sure I feel it in so extraordinary a manner, that I cannot in a day or two get out of my imagination any very beautiful or disagreeable impression which I receive on such occasions. For this reason, I frequently look in at the playhouse, in order to enlarge my thoughts, and warm my mind with some new ideas, that may be serviceable to me in my lucubrations.

In this disposition I entered the theatre the other day, and placed myself in a corner of it, very convenient for seeing, without being myself observed. I found the audience hushed in a very deep attention, and did not question but some noble tragedy was just then in its crisis, or that an incident was to be unravelled, which would determine the fate of a hero. While I was in this suspense, expecting every moment to see my friend Mr. Betterton appear in all the majesty of distress, to my unspeakable amazement, there came up a monster with a face between his feet; and as I was looking on, he raised himself on one leg in such a perpendicular posture, that the other grew in a direct line above his head. It afterwards

* Sir Richard Ste le joined in this paper.

I must confess, there is nothing that more pleases me, in all that I read in books, or see among mankind, than such passages as represent human nature in its proper dignity. As man is a creature made up of different extremes, he has something in him very great and very mean: a skilful artist may draw an excellent picture of him in either view. The finest authors of antiquity have taken him on the more advantageous side. They cultivate the natural grandeur of the soul, raise in her a generous ambition, feed her with hopes of immortality and perfection, and do all they can to widen the partition between the virtuous and the vicious, by making the difference betwixt them as great In short, it is as between gods and brutes. and a thousand other ancient moralists, withimpossible to read a page in Plato, Tully, and a thousand other ancient moralists, withOn the contrary, I could never read any of out being a greater and a better man for it. our modish French authors, or those of our own country who are the imitators and admirers of that trifling nation, without being for some time out of humour with myself, for some time out of humour with myself, Their busiand at every thing about me. ness is, to depreciate human nature, and consider it under its worst appearances. They give mean interpretations and base motives to the worthiest actions: they resolve virtue endeavour to make no distinction between and vice into constitution. In short, they man and man, or between the species of

men and that of brutes. As an instance of this kind of authors, among many others, let any one examine the celebrated Rochefou cault, who is the great philosopher for administering of consolation to the idle, the envious, and worthless part of mankind.

I remember a young gentleman of moderate understanding, but great vivacity, who,

by dipping into many authors of this nature, I
had got a little smattering of knowledge, just
enough to make an atheist or a free-thinker,
but not a philosopher or a man of sense.
With these accomplishments, he went to
visit his father in the country, who was a
plain, rough, honest man, and wise, though
not learned. The son, who took all oppor-
tunities to show his learning, began to es-
tablish a new religion in the family, and to
enlarge the narrowness of their country no-
tions, in which he succeeded so well, that he
had seduced the butler by his table-talk,
and staggered his eldest sister. The old
gentleman began to be alarmed at the
schisms that arose among his children, but
did not yet believe his son's doctrine to be so
pernicious as it really was, till one day talk-
ing of his setting-dog, the son said, "He did
not question but Tray was as immortal as
any one of the family," and in the heat of the
argument, told his father, "That for his own
part, he expected to die like a dog. Upon
which, the old man, starting up in a very
great passion, cried out, "Then, sirrah, you
shall live like one;" and taking his cane in his
hand, cudgelled him out of his system. This
had so good an effect upon him, that he took
up from that day, fell to reading good books,
and is now a bencher in the Middle Temple.
I do not mention this cudgelling part of
the story with a design to engage the secular
arm in matters of this nature; but certainly,
if it ever exerts itself in affairs of opinion
and speculation, it ought to do it on such
shallow and despicable pretenders to know-
ledge, who endeavour to give man dark and
uncomfortable prospects of his being, and
destroy those principles which are the sup-
port, happiness, and glory, of all public so-
cieties, as well as private persons.

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seems to endow human nature with that which history denies; and to give satisfaction to the mind, with at least the shadow of things, where the substance cannot be had. For if the matter be thoroughly considered, a strong argument may be drawn from poesy, that a more stately greatness of things, a more perfect order, and a more beautiful variety, delights the soul of man, than any way can be found in nature since the fall. Wherefore seeing the acts and events, which are the subjects of true history, are not of that amplitude as to content the mind of man; poesy is ready at hand to feign acts more heroical. Because true history reports the successes of business not proportionable to the merit of virtues and vices, poesy corrects it, and presents events and fortunes according to desert, and according to the law of Providence: because true history, through the frequent satiety and similitude of things, works a distaste and misprison in the mind of man, poesy cheereth and refresheth the soul, chanting things rare and various, and full of vicissitudes. So as poesy serveth and conferreth to delectation, magnanimity, and morality; and therefore it may seem deservedly to have some participation of divineness, because it doth raise the mind, and exalt the spirit with high raptures, by proportioning the shows of things to the desires of the mind; and not submitting the mind to things, as reason and history do. And by these allurements and congruities, whereby it cherishes the soul of man, joined also with consort of music, whereby it may more sweetly insinuate itself, it hath won such access, that it hath been in estimation even in rude times, and barbarous nations, when other learning stood excluded."

But there is nothing which favours and falls in with this natural greatness and dignity of human nature so much as religion, which does not only promise the entire refinement of the mind, but the glorifying of the body, and the immortality of both.

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Quæ lucis miseris tam dira cupido?

Virg.

Sheer-Lane, December 21.

I think it is one of Pythagoras's golden sayings, "That a man should take care above all things to have a due respect for himself:” and it is certain, that this licentious sort of authors, who are for depreciating mankind, endeavour to disappoint and undo what the most refined spirits have been labouring to advance since the beginning of No. 110.] Tuesday, December 22, 1709. the world. The very design of dress, goodbreeding, outward ornaments, and ceremony, were to lift up human nature, and to set it off to an advantage. Architecture, painting, and statuary, were invented with the same design; as indeed every art and science contributes to the embellishment of life, and to the wearing off, or throwing into shades, the mean and low parts of our nature. Poetry carries on this great end more than all the rest, as may be seen in the following passage, taken out of Sir Francis Bacon's Advancement of Learning, which gives a truer and better account of this art, than all the volumes that were ever written upon it.

Poetry, especially heroical, seems to be raised altogether from a noble foundation, which makes much for the dignity of man's nature. For seeing this sensible world is in dignity inferior to the soul of man, poesy

As soon as I had placed myself in my chair of judicature, I ordered my clerk Mr. Lillie to read to the assembly (who were gathered together according to notice) a certain declaration, by way of charge to open the purpose of my session, which tended only to this explanation, "That as other courts were often called to demand the execution of persons dead in law, so this was held to give the last orders relating to those who are dead in reason.” The solicitor of the new company of upholders, near the HayMarket, appeared in behalf of that useful. society, and brought in an accusation of a young woman, who herself stood at the bar before me. Mr. Lillie read her indictment,

which was in substance, "That, whereas Mrs. Rebecca Pindust, of the parish of St. Martin in the Fields, had, by the use of one instrument, called a looking-glass, and by the further use of certain attire, made either of cambric, muslin, or other linen wares, upon her head, attained to such an evil art and magical force, in the motion of her eyes, and turn of her countenance, that she the said Rebecca had put to death several young men of the said parish; and that the said young men had acknowledged, in certain papers, commonly called love letters, (which were produced in court, gilded on the edges, and sealed with a particular wax, with certain amorous and enchanting words wrought upon the said seals,) that they died for the said Rebecca: and whereas the said Rebecca persisted in the said evil practice; this way of life the said society construed to be, according to former edicts, a state of death, and demanded an order for the interment of the said Rebecca."

I looked upon the maid with great humanity, and desired her to make answer to what was said against her. She said, "It was, indeed, true, that she had practised all the arts and means she could to dispose of herself happily in marriage, but thought she did not come under the censure expressed in my writings for the same; and humbly hoped, I would not condemn her for the ignorance of her accusers, who, according to their own words, had rather represented her killing than dead." She further alledged, "That the expressions mentioned in the papers written to her, were become mere words, and that she had been always ready to marry any of those who said they died for her; but that they made their escape as soon as they found themselves pitied or believed." She ended her discourse, by desiring I would for the future settle the meaning of the words, "I die," in letters of love.

of his parts, yet, for example's sake, I was forced to answer, "Your sentence shall be a warning to all the rest of your companions, not to tell lies for want of wit." Upon this, he began to beat his snuff-box with a very saucy air; and opening it again, "Faith, Isaac, (said he,) thou art a very unaccountable old fellow.-Prythee, who gave thee power of life and death? What-a-pox hast thou to do with ladies and lovers? I suppose thou wouldst have a man be in company with his mistress, and say nothing to her. Dost thou call breaking a jest, telling a lie? Ha! is that thy wisdom, old f-rump, ha?" He was going on with this tny pid commonplace mirth, sometimes ning his box, sometimes shutting it, then viewing the picture on the lid, and then the workmanship of the hinge, when, in the midst of his eloquence, I ordered his box to be taken from him; upon which he was immediately struck speechless, and carried off stone dead.

The next who appeared, was a hale old fellow of sixty. He was brought in by his relations, who desired leave to bury him. Upon requiring a distinct account of the prisoner, a credible witness deposed, "That he always use at ten of the clock, played with his cat till twelve, smoked tobacco till one, was at dinner till two, then took another pipe, and played at backgammon till six, talked of one Madam Frances, an old mistress of his, till eight, repeated the same account at the tavern till ten, then returned home, took the other pipe, and then to bed." I asked him what he had to say for himself? "As to what (said he) they mention concerning Madam Frances-" I did not care for hearing a Canterbury tale, and therefore thought myself seasonably interrupted by a young gentleman, who appeared in the behalf of the old man, and prayed an arrest of judgment; for that he the said young man held certain lands by his the said old man's life. Upon this, the solicitor of the upholders took an occasion to demand him also, and thereupon produced several evidences that witnessed to his life and conversation. It appeared, that each of them divided their hours in matters of equal moment and importance to themselves and to the public. They rose at the same hour: while the old man was playing with his cat, the young one was looking out of his window; while the old man was smoking his pipe, the young man was rubbing his teeth; while one was at dinner, A ner, the other was dressing; while one was at backgammon, the other was at dinner; while the old fellow was talking of Madam Frances, the young one was either at play, or toasting women whom he never conversed with. The only difference was, that the young man had never been good for any thing; the old man, a man of worth, before he knew Madam Frances. Upon the whole, I ordered them both to be interred together, with inscriptions proper to their characters, signifying, That the old man died in the year 1689, and was buried in the year 1709 ”

Mrs. Pindust behaved herself with such an air of innocence, that she easily gained credit, and was acquitted. Upon which occasion, I gave it as a standing rule, "That any persons, who in any letter, billet, or discourse, should tell a woman he died for her, should, if she pleased, be obliged to live with her, or be immediately interred upon such their own confession, without bail or mainprise.

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It happened, that the very next who was brought before me was one of her admirers, who was indicted upon that very head. head. A letter, which he acknowledged to be his own hand, was read; in which were the following words: "Cruel creature, I die for you." It was observable that he took snuff all the time his accusation was reading. I asked him, "How he came to use these words, if he were not a dead man?" He told me, "He was in love with a lady, and did not know any other way of telling her so; and that all his acquaintance took the same method." Though I was moved with compassion towards him by reason of the weakness

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