fhew you to the contrary: O, mistress Page, give a fine baited delay, till he hath pawn'd his horfes t☛ mine Hoft of the Garter. me fome counfel! Mrs. Page. What's the matter, woman? Mrs. Ford. O woman, if it were not for one trifling refpect, I could come to fuch honour! Mrs. Page. Hang the trifle, woman; take the honour: What is it -difpenfe with trifles;-what is it? Mrs. Ford. If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment, or fo, I could be knighted. Mrs. Page. What?-thou lieft!--Sir Alice Ford! --Thefe knights will hack; and fo thou shouldit not alter the article of thy gentry. Mrs. Ford. We burn day-light 2:—here, read, read;-perceive how I might be knighted.—1 fhall think the worfe of fat men, as long as 1 have an eye. to make difference of men's liking: And yet he would not fwear; prais'd women's modefty; and gave fuch orderly and well-behav'd reproof to all uncomeliness, that I would have fworn his difpofition would have gone to the truth of his words: but they do no more adhere, and keep place toge-| ther, than the hundredth pfalm to the tune of Green Sleeves 3. What tempeft, I trow, threw this whale, with fo many tuns of oil in his belly, afhore at Windior? How fhall I be reveng`d on him? I think, the best way were to entertain him with hope, till the wicked fire of luft have melted him in his own greafe.Did you ever hear the like? Mrs. Ford. Nay, I will confent to act any villainy againft him that may not fully the charinefs of our honesty. Oh, that my husband faw this letter! it would give eternal food to his jealousy. Mrs. Page. Why, look, where he comes; and my good man too: he's as far from jealoufy, as I am from giving him caufe; and that, I hope, is an unmeafurable diftance. Mrs. Ford. You are the happier woman. 6 [poor, Ford. Why, fir, my wife is not young. Pift. With liver burning hot: Prevent, or go thou, Ford. What name, fir? Pift. The horn, 1 fay: Farewell. Take heed; have open eye; for thieves do foot by night: fing Away, fir corporal Nym. Mrs. Page. Letter for letter; but that the name Take heed, ere fummer comes, or cuckoo-birds do of Page and Ford differs!-To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin-brother of thy letter: but let thine inherit firft; for, I proteft, mine never fhall. I warrant, he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank space] for different names, (fure more) and there are of the fecond edition: He will print them out of doubt; for he cares not what he puts into the 4 prefs, when he would put us two. I had rather be a giantefs, and lie under mount Polion. Well, I will find you twenty lafcivious turtles, ere one chafte man. Believe it, Page; he speaks fenfe. [Exit Piftol. Page. Th. humour of it, quoth a'! here's a fellow frights humour out of its wits. Mrs. Ford. Why, this is the very fame; the very hand, the very words: What doth he think of us? Mrs. Page. Nay, I know not: It makes me al-humour of it. Adieu. moit ready to wrangle with mine own honeity. T entertain myself like one that I am not acquainted withal; for, fure, unless he knew fome frain in me, that I know not myfelf, lie would never have boarded me in this fury. Mrs. Ford. Boarding, call you it? I'll be fure to keep him above deck. Ford. I will feek out Fulftaff. Page. I never heard fuch a drawling, affecting rogue. Ford. If I do find it, well. Page. I will not believe fuch a Catalan 3, though Mrs. Page. So will I; if he come under my the prieft o' the town commended him for a true hatches, I'll never to fea again. Let's be reveng'dmian. on lim: let's appoint him a mecting; give him a thow of comfort in his fuit; and lead him on with Ford. 'Twas a good fenfible fellow: Well. 1 To back, is an expreffion ufed in another fcene of this play, to fignify to do mifchief. The ferfe of this pallage may therefore be, Thele knights are a riotous, diffolute fort of people, and on that account thou fhouldit not wifh to be of the number. 2 That is, we have more proof than we wan'. 3 A popular ballad of thefe times. 4 Prefs is ufed here ambiguously, for a prefs to print, and a press to fqucere 5 That is, the caution which ought to attend on it. 6 A curtail-dog was a dog whof tail, by the laws of the foreft, was cut off, from his belonging to an unqualified perfon. 7 A medley. By a Catalan, fome kind of harper was probably meant. Mrs ! Mrs. Page. Whither go you, George?-Hark you. fir Hugh the Welch prieft, and Caius the French Mrs. Ford. How now, fweet Frank? why art doctor. thou melancholy? Ford. Good mine hoft o' the Garter, a word with Ford. I melancholy! I am not melancholy.-Get you. you home, go. Ms. Ford. Faith, thou haft fome crotchets in thy head now.-Will you go, mistress Page? Mrs. Page. Have with you.-You'll come to dinner, Gorge?-Look, who comes yonder: the fhall be our meifenger to this paltry knight. [Aide to Mrs. Ford. Enter Mifiefs Quickly. 4. Ay, forfooth: And, I pray, how does good Mr. Pag. Go in with us, and fee; we have an hour's talk with you. [Ex. Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and Mrs. Quickly. Page. How now, mafter Ford? Ford. You heard what this knave told me; did you not? Hoft. What fay'ft thou, bully-rook? [They go a little afde. Shal. [To Page.] Will you go with us to behold it? My merry hoft hath had the meafuring of their weapons; and, I think, he hath appointed them contrary places: for, believe me, I hear the parfon is no jefter. Hark, I will tell you what our fport fhall be. Hoft. Hait thou no fuit against my knight, my guest-cavalier ? Ford. None, I proteft: but I'll give you a pottle of burnt fack to give me recourfe to him, and tell him, my name is Brook, only for a jest. Heft. My hand, bully: thou shalt have egrefs and regrefs; faid I well? and thy name thall be Brook: It is a merry knight.—Will you go anheirs 2? Shal. Have with you, mine host. Page. I have heard, the Frenchman hath good fkill in his rapier. Page. Yes; and you heard what the other told me? Ford. Do you think there is truth in them? Shal. Tut, fir, I could have told you more: In Page. Hang'em, fiaves! I do not think the knight thefe times you ftand on diftance, your paties, ftocwould offer it: but these, that accufe him in his in-cado's, and I know not what: 'tis the heart, maftent towards our wives, are a yoke of his difcarded men; very rogues, now they be out of fervice. Ford. Were they his men ? Page. Marry, were they. Ford. I like it never the better for that.-Does he lie at the Garter? Page. Ay, marry, does he. If he fhould intend his voyage towards my wife, I would turn her loose to him; and what he gets more of her than fharp words, let it lie on my head. Ford. I do not miídoubt my wife; but I would Page. Look, where my ranting host of the Enter Hoft and Shallow. Hoft. How, now, bully-rook? thou'rt a gentleman: cavalero-juftice, I fay. Sbal. I follow, mine hoft, I follow. Good even, and twenty, good mafter Page! Matter Page, will you go with us? we have fport in hand. ter Page; 'tis here, 'tis here. I have seen the time, with my long fword 3, I would have made you four tall fellows ikip like rats. Hoft. Here, boys, here, here! fhall we wag? Page. Have with you :--I had rather hear them fcold than fight. [Exeunt Hof, Shallow Page, Pill. Why, then the world's mine oyfter 5, which I with fword will open. I will retort the fum in equipage. Fal. Not a penny. I have been content, fir, you fhould lay my countenance to pawn: I have grated upon my good friends for three reprieves for Hot. Tell him, cavalero-justice; tell him, bully-you and your coach-fellow, Nym; or elie you had rook! look'd through the grate, like a geminy of baboons. Shul. Sir, there is a fray to be fought between I am damn'd in hell, for wearing to gentlemen, That is, cheats. 2 This paffage is evidently obfcure. Mr. Steevens propofes to read, Will sou go on, hearts? in confirmation of which conjecture, he obferves, that the Hoft calls Dr. Caius Heart of Elder; and adds, in a fubfequent scene of this play, Farewell, my hearts. 3 Before the introduction of rapiers, the fwords in ufe were of an enorious length. Shallow here cenfures the innovation of lighter weapons. 4 To ftand on any thing, fignifies to infift on it. To Ford, who is jealous, all chafity in women appears as frailty. 5 Dr. Gray fuppofes Shakspeare to allude to an old proverb, "The mayor of Northampton opens ofters with his dagger: that is, to keep them at a fufficient diftance from his nofe, that town being four core miles from the fea. 6 Dr. Warburton conjectures the meaning of this to be, I will pay you again in stolen goods; and his opinion is confumed by that of Mr. Farmer, E. 3 my my friends, you were good foldiers, and tall fellows: and when mistress Bridget loft the handle of her fan 2, I took 't upon mine honour, thou hadst it not. Pift. Didft thou not share? hadst thou not fifteen pence ? Fal. Well: miftrefs Ford;what of her? Quic. Why, fir, fhe's a good creature. Lord, lord! your worship's a wanton: Well, heaven forgive you, and all of us, I pray ! Fal. Mistress Ford;-come, mistress Ford, Quic. Marry, this is the fhort and the long of it; Fal. Reason, you rogue, reafon: Think'ft thou, you have brought her into fuch a canaries", as 'tis I'll endanger my foul gratis? At a word, hang no wonderful. The best courtier of them all, when more about me, I am no gibbet for you :-go.the court lay at Windfor, could never have brought A fhort knife and a thong,-to your manor of her to fuch a canary. Yet there has heen knights, Pickt-hatch 3, go.-You'll not bear a letter for me, and lords, and gentlemen, with their coaches; you rogue !—you stand upon your honour! warrant you, coach after coach, letter after letter, Why, thou unconfinable baseness, it is as much as gift after gift; smelling fo fweetly, (all musk) and I can do, to keep the terms of my honour precife. fo rufling, I warrant you, in filk and gold; and in I, I, I myself fometimes leaving the fear of hea-fuch alligant terms; and in fuch wine and fugar ven on the left hand, and hiding mine honour in of the beft, and the faireft, that would have won my neceffity, am fain to fhuffle, to hedge, and to any woman's heart; and, I warrant you, they Jurch; and yet you, rogue, will enfconce 4 your rags, your cat-a-mountain looks, your red-lattice phrafes, and your bold-beating oaths, under the shelter of your honour! You will not do it, you? Pift. I do relent: what wouldst thou more of man? Enter Robin. could never get an eye-wink of her.-I had myself twenty angels given me this morning: but I defy all angels, (in any fuch fort as they fay) but in the way of honefty :-and, I warrant you, they could never get her fo much as fip on a cup with the proudeft of them all and yet there has been earls, nay, which is more, penfioners 7; but, I warrant Reb. Sir, here's a woman would fpeak with you. you, all is one with her. Enter Mifirefs Quickly. Quie. Give your worship good-morrow. Quic. Not fo, an't please your worship. Quic. I'll be fworn; as my mother was, the first hour I was born. Fal. But what fays the to me? be brief, my good the Mercury. Quic. Marry, the hath receiv'd your letter; for the which the thanks you a thoufand times: and The gives you to notify, that her husband will be abfence from his houfe between ten and eleven. Fal. Ten and eleven. Quic. Ay, forfooth; and then you may come Fal. I do believe the fwearer: What with me and fee the picture, the fays, that you wot* of; Quit. Shall I vouchfafe your worship a word or-mafter Ford, her husband, will be from home. two? Fal. Two thoufand, fair woman; and I'll vouchsafe thee the hearing. Quic. There is one mistress Ford, fir;—I pray, come a little nearer this ways:-I myfelf dwell with master doctor Caius. Fal. Well, on: Mistress Ford, you fay, Quic. Your worship says very true: I pray your worship, come a little nearer this ways. Fal. I warrant thee, nobody hears;-mine own people, mine own people. Quic. Are they fo? Heaven blefs them, and make them his fervants! Alas! the fweet woman leads an ill life with him; he's a very jealoufy man; fhe leads a very frampold 9 life with him, good heart. Fal. Ten and eleven: Woman, commend me to her; I will not fail her. Quic. Why, you fay well: But I have another metfenger to your worship: Mittrefs Page has her hearty commendations to you too ;—and let me tell you in your ear, fhe's as fartuous a civil modeft wife, and one (I tell you) that will not mifs you morning nor evening prayer, as any is in Windior, whoe'er be the other: and the b.de me tell your worthip, that her husband is feldom from home 2 Fans, ; A tall fellow, in the time of our author, meant, a flout, bold, or courageous perfon. in Shakspeare's time, were more coftly than they are at prefent, as well as of a different conftruction. They confifted of oftrich feathers, (or others of equal length and flexibility) which were ftuck into handles. The richer fort of thefe were compofed of gold, filver, or ivory of curious workmanship. The fum of forty pounds was fometimes given for a fan in the time of queen Elizabeth. 8 A noted place for thieves and pickpockets. Pickt-hatch probably is derived from the pickes placed upon the hatches of the doors of the bawdy-houfes of thofe times; a precaution which perhaps the unfeafonable and obftreperous irruptions of the gallants of that age might render necellary. 4 A fonce is a petty fortification: to enfconce, therefore, is to protect as with a fort. 5 Your ale-house converfation. Red lattice at the doors and windows, were formerly the external infignia of an alehouse. Hence the prefent chequers; and it is very remarkable, that fhops, with the ign of the thequers, were common among the Romans. 6 This is the name of a brik light dance, and not therefore improperly ufed in vulgar language for any hurry or perturbation: perhaps, however, it is not improbable, that canaries is only a miftake of Mrs. Quickly's for quandaries. 7 A penfioner, in thofe times, meant a gentleman always attendant upon the perfon of the prince. 8 To wet is to know. 9 Ray fays, that frumpaid, or frampard, fignities fretful, peevija, crefs, froward. but Ford. I make bold, to press with fo little prepa but the hopes, there will come a time. I never Fal. You're welcome: What's your will? Give [Eit Bardslph. Fal. Not I, I affure thee; fetting the att action jus leave, drawer. of my good parts afide, I have no other charms. 2. Bleifing on your heart for 't. Fal. But, I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford's wife, and Page's wife, acquainted each other how they love me? ic. That were a jeft, indeed!—they have not fo little grace, I hope :-that were a trick, indeed! Bat mifizets Page would defire you to fend her your little page, of all loves; her hutband has a marvellous infection to the little page; and, truly, maiter Page is an honeft man. Never a wife in Wladfor leads a better life than fhe does; do what the will, fay what the will, take all, pay all, go to bed when she lift, rife when she lift, all is as the will; and, truly, the deferves it; for if there be a kind woman in Windfor, the is one, You muit fend her your page; no remedy. Fal. Why, I will. Ford. Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much; my name is Brook. Fal. Good mafter Brook, I defire more ac quaintance of you. Ford. Good fir John, I fue for yours: not to charge you; for I must let you understand, I think myfelf in better plight for a lender than you are: the which hath fomething embolden'd me to this unfeafon'd intrufion; for they fay, if money go before, all ways do lie open. Fal. Money is a good foldier, fir, and will on. Ford. Troth, and I have a bag of money here troubles me: if you will help me to bear it, fir John, take all, or half, for eafing me of the carriage, Fal. Sir, I know not how I may deferve to be your porter. Ford. I will tell you, fir, if you will give me the hearing. Fal. Speak, good mafter Brook; I shall be glad to be your fervant. zic. Nay, but do fo then: and, look you, he may come and go between you both; and, in any cafe, have a nay-word 2, that you may know one Ford. Sir, I hear you are a fcholar,-I will be another's mind, and the boy never need to under-brief with you;—and you have been a man long ftand any thing; for 'tis not good that children known to me, though I had never fo good means, fhould know any wickednefs: old folks, you know, as defire, to make myfelf acquainted with you. I have difcretion, as they fhy, and know the world. fhall difcover a thing to you, wherein I muft very Fal. Fare thee well: commend me to them much lay open mine own imperfection: but, good both: there's my purfe; I am yet thy debtor.-fir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as Boy, go along with this wornan. —————— -This news you hear them unfolded, turn another into the redit racts me! [Exccant Quickly and Kobin. gifter of your own; that I may pafs with a reproof Ft. This pink 3 is one of Cupid's carriers :-- the eafier, fith 7 you yourself know, how easy it is Chop on more fails; purfue; up with your fights 4; to be fuch an offender. Give fire; the is my prize, or ocean whelm them all! [Exit Pipol Fal. Swit thou fo, old Jack? go thy ways; I'll make more of thy old body than I have done. Will they yet look after thee Wilt thou, after the ex-. pence of fo much money, be now a gainer? Good body, I thank thee: let them fay, 'tis groflly done, fo it be fairly done, no matter. Enter Bardolph. Bard. Sir John, there's one mafter Brook below would fain speak with you, and be acquainted with you; and hath fent your worship a morning's draught of fack. Fal. Brook, is his name? Fal. Call him in: [Exit Bardolph.] Such Brooks are welcome to me, that o'erflow fuch liquor. Ah! ah! miftrefs Ford and miftrefs Page, have I enCompafs'd you? go to; vias! Re-enter Bardolph with Ford difguis'd. Ford. Blefs you, fir. Fal. And you, fir: Would you fpeak with me? Fal. Very well, fir; proceed. Ford. There is a gentlewoman in this town, her husband's name is Ford. Fal. Well, fir, Ford. I have long lov'd her, and, I proteft to you, heftow'd much on her; follow'd her with a doting obfervance; engrofs'd opportunities to meet her; fee'd every flight occafion, that could but niggardly give me fight of her; not only bought many prefents what he would have given: briefly, I have pursued to give her, but have given largely to many, to know her, as love hath purfued me; which hath been, on the wing of all occafions. But whatfoever I have merited, either in my mind, or in my means, meed 8, I am fure, I have received none; unless experience be a jewel; that I have purchas'd at an infinite rate; and that hath taught me to fay this; Love like a fhadow flies, when fubftance love pursues, Parfaing that that flies, and flying what purfues. Fal. Have you receiv'd no promife of fatisfaction at her hands? Ford. Never. Faf. Have you importun'd her to fuch a purpose? 2 That is, a watch-word. 3 A Of all loves, fignifies no more than to fend him by all means. prak is a veffel of the fmall craft, employed as a carrier for merchants. 4 Fights are cloaths hung round the fhip to conceal the men from the eneity, and clofe-fights are bulk-heads, or any other shelter that the tabrick of a fhip affords. 5 A cant phrafe of exultation common in the old plays, • Alcaning, not with a view of putting you to expeace, 7 That is, fince, 8 That is, reward, E 4 enjoy! Ford. Never. Fal. Of what quality was your love then? Ford. Like a fair house, built upon another man's ground; fo that I have loft my edifice, by mistaking the place where I erected it. Fal. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know him not-yet I wrong him to call him or; they fay, the jealous wittoly knave hath maffes of money; for the which, his wife feems to me well-favour'd. I will ufe her as the key of the cuckoldly rogue's Fal. To what purpose have you unfolded this coffer; and there's my harvest-home. to me? Ford. I would you knew Ford, fir; that you might avoid him, if you faw him. Ford, When I have told you that, I have told you all. Some say, that, though the appear honeft Fal. Hang him, mechanical falt-butter rogue! I to me, yet, in other places, fhe enlargeth her mirth will ftare him out of his wits; I will awe him with fo far, that there is fhrewd construction made my cudgel; it fhall hang like a meteor o'er the of her. Now, fir John, here is the heart of my cuckold's horns: mafter Brook, thou shalt know, I purpose: You are a gentleman of excellent breed- will predominate over the peafant, and thou fhalt ing, admirable difcourfe, of great admittance 1, au- lye with his wife.-Come to me foon at night:→ thentic in your place and perfon, generally allow'd2 | Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his stile; thou, for your many war-like, court-like, and learned master Brook, fhalt know him for knave and cuckpreparations. Fal. O fir! old:come to me foon at night. [Exit. Ford. What a damn'd Epicurean rascal is this !Ford. Believe it, for you know it:-There is My heart is ready to crack with impatience.—Who money; spend it, spend it; fpend more; fpend all fays, this is improvident jealoufy? my wife hath fent I have; only give me fo much of your time in ex-to him, the hour is fix'd, the match is made:change of it, as to lay an amiable fiege to the honefty of this Ford's wife: ufe your art of wooing, win her to confent to you; if any man may, you may as foon as any. Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemence of your affection, that I fhould win what you would enjoy? methinks, you preferibe to yourself very prepofterously. Ford. O, understand my drift! fhe dwells fo fecurely on the excellency of her honour, that the folly of my foul dares not prefent itself; fhe is too bright to be look'd againit. Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand, my defires had 3 instance and argument to commend themselves; I could drive her then from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage-vow, and a thousand other her defences, which now are too too ftrongly embattled against me; What fay you to't, fir John Fal. Maiter Brook, I will first make bold with your money; next, give me your hand; and laft, as I am a gentleman, you fhall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife. Ford. O good fir! Fal. Mafter Brook, I fay you fhall. Ford. Want no money, fir John, you shall want nonc. Would any man have thought this? See the hell of having a falfe woman! my bed shall be abus'd, my coffers ranfack'd, my reputation gnawn at; and I hall not only receive this villainous wrong, but ftand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that does me this wrong. Terms! names! -Amaimon founds well; Lucifer, well; Barbafon, well; yet they are devils' additions, the names of fiends: but cuckold! wittol! cuckold! the devil himself hath not such a name. Page is an afs, a fecure afs; he will truft his wife, he will not be jealous: I will rather truft a Fleming with my butter, parfon Hugh the Welchman with my cheese, an Irishman with my aqua vitæ bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with herfelf; then the plots, then the ruminates, then she devifes: and what they think in their hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts but they will effect. Heaven be prais'd for my jealousy!— Eleven o'clock the hour;-I will prevent this, detect my wife, be reveng'd on Falstaff, and laugh at Page: I will about it;-better three hours too toon, than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie! cuckold! cuckold! cuckold! SCENE III. Enter Caius and Rugby. Gaius. Jack Rugby! Caius. Vat is de clock, Jack? [Exita Fal. Want no mistress Ford, mafter Brook, you fhall want none. I fhall be with her (I may tell you)| by her own appointment; even as you came in to me, her affistant, or go-between, parted from me: I say, I shall be with her between ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous rafcally knave, her husband, will be forth. Come you to me at night; you shall know how I fpeed. Caius. By gar, he has fave his foul, dat he is no Ford. I am bleft in your acquaintance. Do you come; he has pray his Pible vell, dat he is no come: know Ford, fir? by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come, Rug. 'Tis paft the hour, fir, that fir Hugh pro, mis'd to meet. Meaning, admitted into ail, or the greatest companies. 2 Allowed is approved. is example. 4 Meaning, the defence of it. |