to their several duties, when the other is most deficient: for if only one party at once indulge a wrong temper, or fall into misconduct, few serious interruptions of domestic harmony will follow.

To these general hints, a few more may be added of a particular nature. Sometimes it is discovered after marriage, that a mistake has been made, as to the religious character of the person with whom the union has been formed. In this trying case, great care must be taken, that the mind be not alienated, or amicable intercourse interrupted, on that account; and that no disgust be excited by reproach, or any expression importing repentance of the union. On the other hand, seeking wisdom and grace from the Lord, without delay, by fervent and persevering prayer, the person thus situated, should constantly endeavour to bear the cross cheerfully: to win upon the other by kindness and attention, to induce a concurrence in family worship, and attendance on the means of grace; and to use a prudent caution that the circumstance may be only an affliction, and not a snare, to the soul.

By whatever means a pious person is thus united with tie unbeliever, the same cautions are in a measure needful, and others may be added. The apostle has expressly directed, that believers should not on any such account withdraw from their partners, but should abide with them in hopes of being instrumental to their salvation. In this case the wife, whose husband "obeys not the word," should endeavour" to win him without the word:" not so much by frequent and earnest discourse on religious subjects, (which ought to be introduced very cautiously, modestly, and affectionately,) as by a "chaste conversation, coupled "with fear," or an union of circumspect fidelity and respectful submission; and to render herself agreeable to him, not by the vain decorations of elegant and costly attire, but by the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit," and the exercise of all those holy tempers, the seat of which is in the heart, and which are "in the sight of God of great value." 2 In such circumstances, it may be advisable to bear unkind usage or neglect with patience, or to wait for opportunities of mild expostulation, in humble prayer and persevering submission. Thus the cross may be lightened which a contrary conduct commonly increases; and the best method taken of "adorning the doctrine of God our Saviour," and of giving an unbeliever an affecting proof, that the truths which he rejects are most excellent in their nature and tendency. Many of the same rules may properly be adopted

66

by the pious husband, whose wife dislikes his religion: but in the superior relation there is a propriety in more explicitly and frequently introducing religious conversation, and in requiring attendance on the means of grace, and concurrence in family worship. In both cases, such compliances, as cannot be conscientiously made, should be firmly but mildly refused; and in proportion to the degree in which a decided conduct is adopted where the will of God is concerned, an obliging and yielding disposition should be manifested where personal inclination only is at stake, or where the matter is rather expedient than obligatory.

But there is a case of still greater difficulty; namely, when a believer has knowingly married an ungodly person, after having been acquainted with the truth and will of God on this subject. In general such persons flatter themselves with the hope of being the instrument of good to the object of their choice, though the reverse is by far the more common effect. Yet this hope should not afterwards be abandoned but deep humiliation, with earnest prayers to a merciful God, to pardon and overrule for the best what cannot now be disannulled, should be considered as above all things needful. To this the observance of the foregoi rules should be added; and the consideration of the sin, by which the cross has been incurred, should constitute an additional motive to persevering patience, meekness, and kindness, even in return for harsh treatment: and, in one way or other, the Lord will support, comfort, and rescue such humble penitents, and make all to work together for good to their souls.

These hints, indeed, are very inadequate to the full discussion of so copious and important a subject; but they may throw some light upon the path of those, who read them with prayer, and compare them with the sacred Scriptures, from an upright desire of knowing and doing the will of God, and "adorning the doctrine of God our Saviour, in "all things."

ESSAY XXI.

The Subject continued.

HAVING very compendiously stated the conduct, to which the principles of the gospel will influence the believer, in respect to marriage, and in the conjugal relation; we proceed,

II. To consider the reciprocal duties of parents and children. This subject indeed has been already in great mea.

295 sure discussed; but a few hints must here be subjoined, beginning with the duty of children to their parents. The apostle exhorts "children to obey their parents in the "Lord;" in obedience to his will, for the honour of his gospel, from grateful love to the Lord Jesus, and in imitation of his example; as this also " is right" in itself, and required by the holy law of God. The general grounds and nature of this duty have been stated; it remains for us to consider it, as practised by a believer from evangelical motives. If a young disciple have the blessing of pious parents, in honouring and obeying them, he will commonly honour and obey the Lord: and gratitude for the spiritual benefits derived to him, by means of their instructions, example, and prayers, will be an additional incitement to a respectful, submissive, and obliging deportment; to a steady concern for their comfort, ease, interest, and reputation; and to a self-denying, frugal, and diligent endeavour to ward off want and distress from their old age: as pious Joseph maintained his father and family, just as many years in his old age, as Jacob had maintained him in his youth. In this case, it will be peculiarly proper to bear with their infirmities, and conceal them from others; to submit to inconve niences and restraints in compliance with their wishes, and in order to soothe their sorrows; to consult them in every undertaking as long as they live; to pay a deference to their 'opinion, even when it is in a measure unreasonable, if it do not interfere with other duties; and never to grieve them by a contrary behaviour, without a very satisfactory reason, and with the most evident reluctance.

On the other hand, it sometimes happens that pious children have parents, whom they cannot but consider as strangers to the power of godliness. In this case it must be the leading desire of their hearts to win them over to the doctrine and grace of Christ; but in order to accomplish this purpose, it is peculiarly needful to watch against a hasty zeal and a violent spirit. They should expect to be opposed in their religious pursuits; to be assailed by arguments and authority, and perhaps by reproaches and menaces; to be restrained by various methods from attending divine ordinances; and to be allured into such companies and diversions, as are inconsistent with their profession. They ought therefore to beg of God to give them the meekness of wisdom, as well as a stedfast mind; that they may not refuse obedience in frivolous or doubtful matters, or in a harsh and disobliging manner; but only where evident duty requires it, and with calm and mild declarations of the grounds on 1 Essay iv.

which they proceed. Thus it will appear that a scriptural conscientiousness, (and not caprice, self-will, or self-conceit,) compels them to act in this manner: and, in proportion as this is done, redoubled diligence and self-denial should be used, to oblige their parents in all other things. In general children are not required to preach to their parents at least every word should be spoken with modesty, tenderness, and unassuming gentleness; and they should rather aim to induce them to hear sermons, to read books, or to converse with pious and prudent Christians, than themselves to give instructions, or engage in arguments with 'chem, except in very particular circumstances. For parents will seldom become docile scholars to their own children, especially if they teach in magisterial and reproving language. The most conclusive argument which they can use, consists in an uniform conscientious conduct, in obliging attention, silent submission to undeserved rebukes, diligence in business, fidelity to every trust reposed in them, and a disinterested regard to the temporal advantage of the whole family. When a young person uniformly acts in this manner, he will have opportunities of speaking or writing a few words with weight and propriety; which, being joined with persevering prayer, may at length be crowned with the desired success whilst a contrary conduct will close a parent's ear against the most conclusive arguments, and most zealous discourse.

These brief hints concerning the duties of children may properly introduce those of parents, who are appointed both by reason and revelation to be the guardians of their offspring, in respect to their present and future welfare. Attention to the duties of this important relation, must indeed commence, not only from the time when they actually become parents; but many things should previously be arranged, with reference to the probability of this important event;-important because every human being, that is brought into existence, must be completely happy or miserable to all eternity! From the very first, wise and conscientious parents will do nothing, for the sake of ease, indulgence, or any other selfish purpose, which may endanger the life, health, understanding, or morals of their children; as far as may be, they will personally attend to every thing relating to them; and be very careful not to entrust them to those, whose care and attention are merely the result of interested motives. They will perceive the importance of inuring them early to action, application, and observation; and of storing their minds as they become capable of it, with information on every subject which can conduce to render

them useful members of the community. They will endeavour to accustom them to such things, as are of beneficial tendency, to preserve them from habits of indolence and self-indulgence, and to prevent their forming improper connexions. Many difficulties indeed, must be encountered in adhering to such a plan of education, and the success will not always answer expectation: but more may frequently be done, than many parents so much as attempt to do; and the general education, of both sexes, at present, seems calculated for any purpose, rather than that of regulating the judgments, and improving the minds, of the rising generation; of preserving their principles and morals from contamination, and of qualifying them for filling up the stations in life, for which they are designed.

The word of God directs parents to rule their children, during their tender years, by compulsion; and to repress their self-will and rebellious spirit by correction; that they may be early habituated to obedience and submission; which will be of the greatest advantage to them during their whole lives, both in secular and religious matters. And the more any man studies human nature, and repeats the actual experiment, the fuller will be his conviction, that all attempts to educate children without correction, and to treat them as rational and independent agents, before they are capable of using their reason or liberty, spring from forgetfulness of their innate depravity, and oppose the wisdom of man to that of God: and let modern manners evince with what success this has been attended. Chastisement then should be inflicted at an early period, dispassionately, and in moderation; yet sufficient to attain eventually the end proposed by it, namely, to establish the parent's authority over the tender mind of the child. It is, therefore, improper in general to contest a trivial matter: for this must either give the correction the appearance of undue severity, or induce the parent to desist before the child has completely submitted.

The frequency, severity, and passion, with which children are often corrected, and the bad effects occasioned by these abuses, prejudice numbers against the use of any correction. But the folly of arguing from the abuse of any thing against the use of it is universally allowed; and if children were early taught, by a firm and prudent exercise of coercion, to know that a parent would be obeyed, whenever he gave a decided command, it would not be necessary often to repeat correction; and much less severity, all cir

1 Prov, xiii, 24, xix, 18. xxii, 15. xxiii, 13, 14. xxix. 17. Heb. xii, 5-11,