Good men, who without love or hate,
Whether they early rise or late,

1395

With names uncrack'd, and credit sound,
Rise worth a hundred thousand pound,

By threadbare ways and means would try
To bear their point-so will not I.
New methods shall my wisdom find
To suit these matters to my mind,
So that the infidels at court,

Who make our City wits their sport,
Shall hail the honours of my reign,
And own that Dulman bears a brain.

Some, in my place, to gain their ends,
Would give relations up and friends,
Would lend a wife, who, they might swear
Safely, was none the worse for wear,

1400

1405

1410

Would see a daughter, yet a maid,
Into a statesman's arms betray'd;

Nay, should the girl prove coy, nor know
What daughters to a father owe,

1415

Sooner than schemes so nobly plann'd

Should fail, themselves would lend a hand,
Would vote on one side, whilst a brother,
Properly taught, would vote on t' other;
Would ev'ry petty band forget,
To public eye be with one set,
In private with a second herd,
And be by proxy with a third;

1420

Well hast thou judg'd thyself unmeet
Of such high argument to treat;
'Twas but to try thee that I spoke,
And all I said was but a joke.

Nor think a joke, Crape, a disgrace

1370

Or to my person or my place;

The wisest of the sons of men

Have deign'd to use them now and then..
The only caution, do you see,

1375

Demanded by our dignity,

From common use and men exempt,
Is that they may not breed contempt.
Great use they have when in the hands
Of one like me, who understands,
Who understands the time and place,
The persons, manner, and the grace,

1380

Which fools neglect; so that we find,

Cut out in any shape I please.

Some, in my circumstance, some few, Aye, and those men of genius too,

Good men, who without love or hate,
Whether they early rise or late,

With names uncrack'd, and credit sound,
Rise worth a hundred thousand pound,

By threadbare ways and means would try
To bear their point-so will not I.
New methods shall my wisdom find
To suit these matters to my mind,
So that the infidels at court,
Who make our City wits their sport,
Shall hail the honours of my reign,
And own that Dulman bears a brain.

Some, in my place, to gain their ends,
Would give relations up and friends,
Would lend a wife, who, they might swear
Safely, was none the worse for wear,

1395

1400

1405

1410

Would see a daughter, yet a maid,
Into a statesman's arms betray'd;

Nay, should the girl prove coy, nor know
What daughters to a father owe,

Sooner than schemes so nobly plann'd

Should fail, themselves would lend a hand,
Would vote on one side, whilst a brother,
Properly taught, would vote on t' other;
Would ev'ry petty band forget,
To public eye be with one set,
In private with a second herd,
And be by proxy with a third;

1415

1420

Would (like a queen, of whom I read
The other day-her name is fled)—
In a book (where, together bound,
Whittington and his Cat I found;
A tale most true, and free from art,

Which all Lord May'rs shou'd have by heart)
A queen (O might those days begin

Afresh when queens would learn to spin!)

1425

1430

Who wrought, and wrought, but, for some plot,

The cause of which I 've now forgot,

During the absence of the sun

Undid what she by day had done)

And bear my pow'r, and have my coach;

My fine state-coach! superb to view,

2445

A fine state-coach, and paid for too!

To curry favour, and the grace
Obtain of those who 're out of place;
In the mean time I-that's to say→→
I proper, I myself-here stay."

1459

But hold-perhaps unto the nation,
Who hate the Scot's administration,
To lend my coach may seem to be
Declaring for the ministry;
For where the City-coach is, there
Is the true essence of the May'r :
Therefore (for wise men are intent
Evils at distance to prevent,
Whilst fools the evils first endure,

1455

And then are plagu'd to seek a cure)

1460

No coach-a horse-and free from fear

To make our Deputy appear,

Fast on his back shall he be ty'd,

With two grooms marching by his side;

Then for a horse-thro' all the land,

1465

To head our solemn City-band,

Can any one so fit be found

As he who in Artill'ry-ground,

Without a rider, noble sight!

Led on our bravest troops to fight?

But first, Crape, for my honour's sake,

A tender point, inquiry make

About that horse, if the dispute

Is ended, or is still in suit:

For whilst a cause, (observe this plan
Of justice) whether horse or man

The parties be, remains in doubt,
Till 't is determin'd out and out,

1470

1475