pecting every moment to be in eternity. I felt inex pressibly solemn, although I had a strong hope, which was like an anchor to my soul, of eternal blessedness. How vain for me to undertake fully to describe my feelings at this time. I was perfectly rational. I warned every person who came near me to prepare for death. I gave the parting hand to my wife, parents, brothers and sisters, and bid them as I thought farewell forever for this world. I was parched with a burning fever; was thirsty beyond expression, and would have given worlds if I had possessed them, to have been permitted to drink a cup of cold water, which was strictly prohibited. I thought of that river spoken of in the book of Revelations, as clear as chrystal, which I hoped soon to drink my fill, and bathe my soul in seas of heavenly rest!!

These words of the poet were almost continually in my mind, "Child your father calls, come home.". In this situation I lay for about three or four days, perfectly possessed of my reason, looking off into a boundless eternity, expecting every moment to be there, and to close my eyes forever on earthly and sublunary things. No person can imagine how the world, with its fashions, pride and splendor, looked to me, except they have been in a similar situation. My brother T-m visited me, and although so overcome that he could scarcely speak, yet he prayed fervently with me, and begged for my life with strong importunity at the Throne of Grace. I gave directions respecting my funeral, and gave brother T-m the 4th chapter, 12th verse of Acts, for a text from which to preach my funeral sermon. But after Isaac was offered up as dead in his father's view, God preserved his life, and he was restored as one raised from the grave. So with me. The spasms began to be less severe and threatening and the Dr. began to speak some encouraging words that yet there might be hope. I hope I shall never be so lost to all feelings of gratitude towards those who have been instrumental in doing me good, as to forget Drs. Mackie and Fuller,

whose constant, unwearied, and unremitting attention to me in these hours of peril, were undoubtedly, through the blessing of God, (without which nothing would have saved me) the means of saving my life. Although Dr. Mackie attended me principally, yet I remember them both with affection and grateful regard. I think it was the fourth night after the first attack, that I obtained some sleep. I felt thankful to God, and as often as I awoke the words of the Psalmist were in my mind-I know not but I repeated them a hundred times during the night-" Bless the Lord O my soul for he is good-for his mercy endureth forever." I never felt such a spirit of thanksgiving and praise for temporal mercies. The least thing done for me by my friends, would melt my heart with grateful feelings. The next day passed away without a return of the spasms, my hand began to maturate and the symptoms were generally favourable. My appetite began to return, and was exceedingly craving, but it was necessary to be careful of my diet. My mother gave me a little green pea broth, which was to me incomparably more delicious than any natural food of which I had ever before partook. I truly felt to thank God for every morsel I ate or drank-his great and good name seemed imprinted on all things which surrounded me, but sin. As I cast a look out of the window, and beheld the fields of corn, the meadows of grass, and gardens filled with vegetables, all which I never expected to see again; I thought every spire of grass praised my maker's name. I gradually grew better, but my hand was exceedingly sore, the Dr. having burned and cut a place directly around the first wound something larger than a cent in diameter, to produce a sore, and if possible to separate the nerve which oecasioned the difficulty. The dead flesh now began to give way, which was almost as hard as a piece of sole leather, and when removed left the wound open very deep, with numerous ends of little nerves all round, which had been separated by the Surgeon, which were inconceivably tender; indeed I could not have

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had an idea without experience of the extreme susceptibility of feeling in these little fibres. They were as tender as the apple of the eye, and in the palm of the hand very numerous, and the touch of the end of one of them, although the most carefully done, was more than I could endure without crying aloud: notwithstanding previous determinations that I would bear it without making any ado. I saw that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made," and thought with the poet that "it's strange a harp with a thousand strings should keep in tune so long," and did not wonder that the wound occasioned by a cambric needle, should sometimes wreck the mortal tabernacle of frail man. In about two weeks I was able to ride home. I felt more anxious to preach now than ever I had done, and grew almost impatient for the time to come, when I should have strength of body to stand on my feet long enough to preach a sermon. In a few days I made an appointment in the meeting-house in Johnson, and although I felt my weakness of body in some degree before I commenced preaching; yet I knew nothing of it comparatively speaking, until I had been standing a few minutes, when I found that I had undertaken that which I had by no means strength to perform. The fact was, my whole nervous system was debilitated, and as it were, unstrung by the violence of the attack, and the effect of the powerful medicine given me to counteract it and save my life; so that it needed time, and a long time too, for me to regain my strength, and for my nerves again to be braced up-indeed when a person's nerves are once so affected as mine were, I believe they but seldom recover so as not to be much troubled with weakness in this respect. I feel the effects of the blow which then so affected my system until this day, especially, when fatigued, or overdone; and for many years after my sickness, the spasms followed me with frequent and powerful attacks. I saw myself, and was also told by the Doctor, that I must give up the thought of preaching until I gained more strength, and so I en

deavored to reconcile myself to my situation, praying to God for grace to support me in this time of trial. It was probable that a number of months would elapse before I should be able to attend to any business for the support of my family-and then I was with a wife and four small children, being about even with the world, when I was taken sick, and no prospect of ever being able to work again at my trade, on account of the feeble state of my hand, besides one of my finger's being so drawn down that it would be almost impossible for me to handle tools, if otherwise I should have strength to labour. But however distrustful I had been when well, of the goodness of God, and his providential care over me, I now seemed entirely relieved from all distressing anxiety on account of my temporal situation. I gave all up into the hands of Him who feeds the ravens and clothes the lillies of the field. I was astonished to see how many friends God raised me up to supply my wants, and those of my family. How true have 1 found these words of Jesus-"seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you."

Reflections.

In reflecting on the dealings of God with me, as I have given a limited account in the foregoing Chapter, I find many things worthy of note, and to be had in everlasting remembrance. And first-an answer to prayer. The reader will remember that I was ear. nest in my prayer to God for more humility, that I might shun the rocks on which I considered many young preachers foundered, viz: spiritual pride and self-exaltation. One day, while sitting in the house, and reflecting on my feeble state, together with the solemn scenes which God had lately brought me through, I took up the hymn book, and opened it to one of Mr. Newton's hymns, which I read with a great interest, as peculiarly applicable to my own

case.

It was entitled "Prayer answered by crosses," and read as follows:

"I ask'd the Lord that I might grow
In faith and love and every grace,
Might more of his salvation know,
And seek more earnestly his face.

'Twas he who taught me thus to pray,
And he I trust has answered prayer,
But it has been in such a way,
As almost drove me to despair.

I hoped that in some favoured licur,
At once he'd answer my request,
And by his love's constraining power,
Subdue my sins and give me rest.

Instead of this he made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart,
And let the angry powers of hell,
Assault my soul in every part.

Yea more with his own hand he seem'd
Intent to aggravate my woe,

Cross all the fair designs I schemed,
Blasted my gourds and laid me low.

Lord, why is this, I trembling cried,
Wilt thou pursue thy worm to death?
"This is the way, the Lord replied,
I answer prayer for grace and faith.

These inward trials I employ,
From self and pride to set thee free,
And break thy schemes of earthly joy;
That thou may'st seek thy all in me.'

I had no sooner read this hymn, than my mind was carried back to the places and seasons of solemn prayer to God as I have mentioned above, and it looked to me plain that God had answered me in this unexpected way. I expected that humility would drop directly down from heaven, into my heart, without any afflictive dispensations of Providence, but God saw fit to deal with me quite differently. He kept me for a number of days, as it were, lying on the very brink of