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conclusion that they are correct ;-for that I saw my heart during those glorious manifestations to be perfectly holy I am entirely confident; nor will any finite being ever convince me to the contrary; and that since then, perhaps thousands of times, I have seen my heart to be deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, I am quite as certain. Now I confess, that with the idea of the heart of the saints being always partly holy and partly sinful, I know not how to reconcile these views. But with the idea that voluntary exercises or affections constitute the heart, and that the saint sometimes has one and sometimes the other, I see not but what those views may be reconcilable. It is admitted on all hands that the saints may see or have a view of their own hearts.

And that the saints have frequent views of their hearts as being desperately wicked, I believe none will deny; but if they may see their hearts to be thus wicked, if they are so, why may they not see their hearts to be holy, if they are so, and if exercises constitute the heart (and I know not how this can be denied) and if the same volition or exercise cannot be mixed, and if it be impossible to have but one exercise or volition at a time, or at the same moment, then I see not but what the subject is plain so far-the deceitfulness and dreadful remaining wickedness of the hearts of the saints, consisting in the inconstancy of the heart; and what will more deeply affect us with a sense of remaining moral depravity, than for us to say that we are so inconstant in our love to God? For us after we have seen the beauty of holiness, the loveliness of God's moral character, and at the time of such views felt to admire and love God with all our hearts, to detest sin and feel a desire never to sin any more, to be so soon caught away as we frequently are, with love to the world, and exercise unholy affections-I say such inconstancy is desperate wickedness indeed.

This view of the subject, it appears to me, will throw light on the exercises and ideas of the Methodist people, in respect to what they say on the subject of

"entire or perfect sanctification in this life. We very frequently hear of their testifying that they have experienced this blessing-that at such a time God gave them a clean heart-that they had views of their heart, at the time, being made as clean from sin as a piece of white paper, &c. Now, however some who talk thus may be enthusiasts, or hypocrites, and are utterly deceived themselves, or are trying to deceive others, yet I cannot believe that all of them are. No; I am far from adopting this sweeping mode of condemning them indiscriminately. And if it be true as we have before remarked, that the heart consists in exercises, &c. there is nothing unscriptural or unreasonable in their declarations thus far. For who dare say that they, as well as Christians of other denominations, may not have such manifestations of God to their souls, such clear discoveries of the Divine beauty, glory and excellency, as to love God, or holiness, with all their heart, and, at the same time perceive or see that they do thus love God, or that their exercises at the time of these views, manifestations, &c. are perfectly holy? Now I see nothing in this unreasonable or unscriptural at all; and however I differ from the Methodists on doctrinal points, yet I hope I feel disposed to do them justice; and I certainly should be as far from condemning all that work among them which they emphatically term sanctification, as wild fire or delusion, as I should be from considering in the same point of view the holy exercises which President Edwards speaks of, in his own experience, and that of others, in the great revival of religion of which he gives us an interesting account. But as it respects their living for any considerable time together, a perfectly holy life, they are undoubtedly utterly mistaken about it. Indeed they do not pretend to be continually thus exercised, as they are at these extraordinary seasons, for they term these extraordinary seasons periencing the blessing of sanctification," and subsequently living the life of Christian perfection. Now

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the reader should be aware, as I have heretofore noticed, that they do not pretend to live perfectly holy, if judged by the paradisiacal law, as they term it, but as I have already mentioned, they consider themselves to be under a "milder law," the " evangelical law," &c. &c. &c.

So when we hear them contend that Christians live perfect in this life, we may remember what law they judge themselves by; and although this abrogation or alteration of the law of God, is altogether unscriptural, unreasonable and without any foundation in the nature of things; and, as I think I have already sufficiently shown, a most fruitful source of erroneous and wrong notions in respect to the great and glorious doctrines of Christ; yet that it is possible for real Christians to be entangled in this snare, and adopt these views in theory, and in controversy advocate the doctrine of Christian perfection as the Methodists do, I have not a doubt, while at the same time, if you bring them to try themselves by the law of God, instead of the law of Mr. Wesley, or Fletcher, or some other divine, they will readily acknowledge that they sin daily, and come short of the glory of God. This was the case with me-for notwithstanding I was sure that what I experienced at the time mentioned in the foregoing Chapter, was a wonderful work of God, that my exercises at that time were perfectly holy, and my heart free from sin; and notwithstanding I followed the track of Wesley and Fletcher, in teaching the doctrine of living perfect, by adopting their ideas of the law; yet nevertheless, the true law would frequently be held up before me, and was applied to my heart by the Spirit of God, so that I could but see that I did not live a life of perfect holiness, but that my heart was inconstant as the wind, and desperately wicked in wandering from God. This eventually drove me out of my Arminianism, as I shall show in the next Chapter, and caused me to see, as I have stated in a former publication, that the very end of it is death; that is, that there is not power enough in it to

save a single soul. And if the sentiments of Arminians were true, not a single soul would ever reach heaven. Of this I feel a confidence of convincing the reader, if he will be candid, and read without prejudice; but if not-if he reads with his mind shut up to conviction, with his bounds already set, determined never to move, right or wrong, nor to renounce a sentiment in favour of which he has become prepossessed, however clearly truth may declare against it: I say, if thus he reads, my labour in writing and his in reading, will be, so far as respects him, utterly in vain. How many, however, are there, that thus read and converse, and who, at the same time, will profess candour, and to be open to conviction? You say, perhaps, reader, you are not of that class; for it is beneath the dignity of a man of the world, much more of a Christian. Are you sure that your heart does not deceive you? Come, let me try you follow me through the narrative, and ask your own conscience, at the conclusion, whether you have shut up your mind to the light of truth or not; and if you do, you stand selfcondemned, and to be sure God is greater and knoweth all things.

CHAPTER VII.

More and dreadful trials, and fearful apprehensions of having fallen away beyond the reach of mercy-resulted in being convinced that the doctrine of falling from grace was not a bible doctrine-&c. &c.

The next morning after the evening last mentioned in the foregoing Chapter, I walked out, viewing the works of creation and beholding the glory of God in all his works and ways. God seemed present every where. I seemed to possess a faith that greatly surprised me-indeed it appeared to me let me ask what I would it would be granted, even if it were to the

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I felt such strong

plucking up trees by the roots. faith that it actually seemed to frighten me. But when I prayed to God, about all which I could say was thy will be done." Instead of asking for particular things, I went about for two or three days with this cry continually in my soul," thy will be done." O what a sweet reconciliation to his will, I felt through my whole soul. I had not the least desire to alter any thing which God had ever done or was doing. I rejoiced in his government of the moral and natural world with unspeakable joy-having no disposition to dictate any circumstance or event in respect to myself or any being or thing in the universe. It was not possible for me feeling as I then did, to ask any thing contrary to the will of God, for I felt swallowed up in the divine will like a drop of water lost in the ocean. I proceeded towards home praising and blessing God. I made a call few minutes in Providence, where I had an opportunity of seeing the corpse of a person who died the night before. What a glorious victory over all fear of death I then enjoyed! Death was a most delightful theme, and the grave a quiet resting place in my view. It was but a few days however, before I began to feel most fearful apprehensions of falling away, for according to my system, if I did not continue to live perfectly holy, there was no hope of my finally getting to heaven, notwithstanding the great things which God had done for me!

I determined therefore, if possible to be at any time ready to die by living without sin. My health was precarious. I knew I was liable to die suddenly, and according to my sentiments if I were to cease to love God with all my heart, one minute, I was liable to die in that instant, without repentance, and be forever shut out of heaven; for most certainly not loving God with all the heart is a transgression of the law, or sin-and to be sure sin will damn a soul to all eternity if not repented of and forgiveness obtained, through Jesus Christ, and according to my system there was no promise that if I did sin I should be brought to repentance

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