M. No more --- in mark of true affec
I take thee under my protection :
Thy parts are good, 'tis not deny'd;
I wish they had been well apply'd.
But now observe my counfel, (viz.)
Adapt your habit to your phyz;
You must no longer thus equip ye,
As Horace fays, optat ephippia;
(There's Latin too, that
you may fee
How much improv'd by dr. ----).
I have a coat at home, that you may try ; 'Tis just like this, which hangs by geo
My hat has much the nicer air;
Your block will fit it to a hair.
That wig, I would not for the world
Have it fo formal, and fo curl'd;
"Twill be fo oily and fo fleek,
When I have lain in it a week,
You'll find it well prepar'd to take
The figure of toupee or fnake.
Thus drefs'd alike from top to toe,
That which is which 'tis hard to know,
When firft in publick we appear,
I'll lead the van, keep you the rear;
Be careful, as you walk behind;
Ufe all the talents of your mind
Be ftudious well to imitate
My portly motion, mein, and gate;
Mark my addrefs, and learn my ftile,
When to look fcornful, when to smile;
Nor fputter out your oaths fo faft,
But keep your fwearing to the last.
Then at our leifure we'll be witty,
And in the streets divert the city;
The ladies from the windows gaping,
The children all our motions aping.
Your converfation to refine
I'll take you to fome friends of mine,
Choice fpirits, who employ their parts
To mend the world by useful arts;
Some cleanfing hollow tubes to fpy
Direct the zenith of the fky;
Some have the city in their care
From noxious fteams to purge the air;
Some teach us in thefe dang'rous days
How to walk upright in our ways;
Some whofe reforming hands engage
To lafh the lewdnefs of the age;
Some for the publick fervice go.
Perpetual envoys to and fro;
Whofe able heads fupport the weight
Of twenty minifters of state.
We fcorn, for want of talk, to jabber
Of parties o'er our bonny-clabber:
Nor are we ftudious to enquire,
Who votes for manours, who for hire:
Our care is to improve the mind
With what concerns all human-kind;
The various fcenes of mortal life,
Who beats her husband, who his wife;
Or how the bully at a stroke
Knock'd down the boy, the lanthorn broke.
One tells the rife of chcefe and oatmeal;
Another when he got a hot meal;
One gives advice in proverbs old,
Inftructs us how to tame a fcold;
Or how by almanacks 'tis clear,
That herrings will be cheap this year
T. Dear Mullinix, I now lament
My precious time fo long mifpent,
By nature meant for nobler ends:
O, introduce me to your friends!
For whom by birth I was defign'd,
"Till politicks debas'd my mind:
I give myself entire to you;
G-- d-- the Whigs, and Tories too,
HERE continueth to rot
The body of FRANCIS CHARTRES; Who, with an INFLEXIBLE CONSTANCY and INIMITABLE UNIFORMITY of life,
In fpite of AGE and INFIRMITIES, In the practice of EVERY HUMAN VICE, Excepting PRODIGALITY and HYPOCRISY: His infatiable AVARICE exempted him from the first,
His matchlefs IMPUDENCE from the fecond.
Nor was he more fingular in the undeviating pravity of his manners, than fuccefsful in accumulating WEALTH:
For, without TRADE OF PROFESSION,
Without TRUST of PUBLICK MONEY,
And without BRIBE-WORTHY SERVICE,
He acquired, or more properly created,
A MINISTERIAL ESTATE.
He was the only perfon of his time Who cou'd CHEAT without the mask of
Retain his primeval MEANNESS When poffefs'd of TEN THOUSAND a year;
And, having daily deferv'd the GIBBET for what he did,
Was at laft condemn'd to it for what he could not do.
O indignant reader!
Think not his life useless to mankind! PROVIDENCE conniv'd at his execrable
To give to after-ages a confpicuous PROOF and EXAMPLE
Of how fmall eftimation is EXORBITANT WEALTH in the fight of GOD, by his bestowing it on the moft UNWORTHY of ALL MORTALS.
*Joannes jacet hic Mirandula ---- cætera norunt Et Tagus et Ganges ---- forfan et Antipodes.
ERE Francis Chartres lies-- be civil! The rest God knows---perhaps the devil.
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