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tremendous abuse of the stomachic region! Sooner would we amplify ourselves to the dimensions of Daniel Lambert himself, than make a washing-tub of our paunch, and convert our gastric juice into suds. Vegetable diet is more palatable, though still highly objectionable; but as we intend to go at full length into that question very shortly, in a philosophical consideration of John Frank Newton's return to nature, we excuse ourselves from saying any thing farther on the subject here.

There is a vast miscellaneous collection of anecdotes of corpulency at the end of Wadd's book; pleasant to read, but arranged with a complete contempt of all regularity-very much in the manner of Miss Letitia Matilda Hawkins's new attempt at a Joe Miller. What, however, can be more agreeable than to hear of ladies of four or five-and-twenty stones; of Tunisian misses fattened for marriage; of butchers pinguifying on their own steaks; of Spanish generals feeding themselves on vinegar, until the skin hung round the body like a pelisse, thereby affording justification of what might otherwise seem a bouncer of George Colman's, in his description of Will Waddle,

"Whose skin, like a lady's loose gown, hung about him.". of windows knocked out, and walls knocked in, to let out prodigious coffins of Englishmen travelling through Saxony in quest of the picturesque, weighing 550 lbs., or 39 st. 4 lbs. wafted through Italian vales and Valdarmian regions on the groaning necks of twelve chairmen; of Captain K., of the Jamaica trade, of whom the astonished negro exclaimed, Great big man-man big as tub, massa;" of the son of the Bishop of (a diocese which, we should imagine, must be always vacant,) who, at nineteen, weighed twenty stones, and was remarkable for his wit, of which we have the following specimen

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"A fellow collegian, son of a dean, of a very lean and spare habit, expressing his astonishment at their difference of size, he explained the reason by the following extempore parody of the old song→

"There's a difference between
A bishop and a dean,

And I'll tell you the reason why
A dean cannot dish up

A dinner like a bishop,
To feed such a fat son as I.'

Miscellaneous.

Card-Table Compassion.-So! Miss Hectic died this morning of a consumption. She was no more than seventeen, a fine girl!

Ali! is she dead? Poor thing!-What's Trumps? --The man is dead, my dear, whom we employed to clear the mouth of that well behind the house, and which be fell into

Is he? I thought he would not recover.-Play a spade,

'ma'am.

-There were upwards of a thousand killed in the last engagement in the East Indies.--How many childless parents are now in sorrow!

Ah! many indeed.-That odd trick is our's.

The captain is now reduced to such poverty, that I am told it would be charity to send his family a joint of meat.

That's hard-I have not a heart indeed sir.

-He fell on his head, and has been delirious ever since, and the physicians have no hopes that he will recover the use of his reason

Oh! I recolleet, he rode against somebody.—Play a spade, if you please.

The prospect to the poor at present is dreadful,indeed ~there will be a powerful appeal to the feelings of the rich.

Yes: one really gives so much in charity.—I'll bet you a crown on the best club.

-Pray, ma'am, have you heard of the dreadful accident which has happened to Miss - ?

What? her son drowned! O yes.-You are eight, you can call.

-George, ma'am, George, I am sorry to say it, put an end to his life last Tuesday

You don't say so- -I have two honours in my own hand. -Yes; and, as misfortune never, comes alone, his mother and sister are in a state of distraction.Dear me! that's bad-single, double, and the rub! [Exeunt, counting their money.]

What is a babbler ?-A tiresome fool that tells you all he thinks, all that he wishes, and all that he knows, and when that fails him, all that he does not know. What are slanderers like?-They are life flies; they pass over our good parts, to light upon our sores..

What is an attorney?-A cat that settles differences between mice.

Perfection. Whatever be the amount of your income, live within it-be courteous to superiors, affable to equals, kind to inferiors, affectionate to your wife, tender to your children, and in all your transactions just--keep your appointments with scrupulous punctuality-be clean in your person, decent in your apparel, unassuming in your carriage-be gentle of speech,easy of access, charitable to the poor-use wine with moderation-frequent no taverns-regularly attend church or chapel-and worship God according to the dictates of our conscience. Persevere in this line of conduct, and you will be a perfect Gentleman.

Col. Montague James, of Jamaica who was the first white person born after the conquest of the Island by the English, lived to the great age of 104, and for the last 30 years of his life used scarcely any other food than chocolate.

Early Rising. The difference between rising at six and rising at eight, in the course of forty years, supposing a person to go to bed at the same time he otherwise would, amounts to 29,000 hours, or 3 years 121 days and 16 hours; which will afford eight hours a day for exactly ten years; which is in fact the same as if ten years were added to the period of our lives, in which we might command eight hours every day for the cultivation of our minds and the despatch of business. This is a result of early rising, which besides that it contributes so much to our general health, is deserving of serious consideration.

PUZZLE REQUIRED TO BE READ.

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Your own character.

The above squares and dots represent cards,

CONUNDRUMS.

A game at cards, a great man, a letter, and a girl of fifteen, when joined together, will compose a useful piece of furniture.

My whole is a small animal; by depriving me of onethird, I become a large one; take off another third and I become a great river.

The Economist,

THE ECONOMY OE TIME.

Written for this Work.

"Knowledge is a comfortable and necessary retreat and shelter for us in advanced age; and if we do not plant it while young it will give us no shade when we grow old." Chesterfield.

Perhaps nothing is so essential to our comfort and happiness as the true use and value of time. "It is in every body's mouth, but few people's practice." I have no time is rung in the ears of every man, by every idler, every hour in the day; while, at the same moment, time is allowed to speed past them, without the smallest regret, as a melancholy demonstration, that they actually have no command of time. Dick Fritter has this phrase eternally on his tongue; yet no man ever saw Dick engaged in industrious pursuits, or have yet discovered that he possesses the smallest genius or talent. Idleness generates idleness, and a wayward practice of trifling away his hours in gossip, has rendered him unfit for any serious or important undertaking: yet who talks more earnestly of a new project than Dick, and ere it is begun or ever will be begun, it is more than completed in his imagination. Sanguine anticipations of success, in a new undertaking, are too often fatal, and he that dreams of victory, ere the fight is begun will frequently find his plan has been badly arranged, and what is gained by courage is lost by want of forethought and deliberation.

An indolent mind cannot be troubled by going to the full depth in any thing-trifles only are its occupation -it prefers a good stock of superficial knowledge to a small portion of trouble. It looks upon great things as impossible to attain ; whereas perseverance will conquer every thing. The most idle animal in existence is he who alone contents himself with the title of gentleman, and sets himself beyond the pale of labour. For there can be no tangible defence for inoccupation. The mind, if not stored with useful knowledge, is as unprofitable as the 'unweeded garden,-things rank and gross in nature possess it merely. A gentleman though not immediately engaged in trade, should at all events strive to fill up the business of life judiciously. The poet Gray, in his classical letters, has expatiated delightfully on this most interesting topic. It is laid down as a maxim, by philosophers, "that there is no such thing in life as a negative virtue, and that abso

lute idleness is impracticable. He that does no good will therefore certainly do mischief.

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A man may have the title of virtuous, without doing a beneficent action; and he may also have a character for integrity, on which it is dangerous to depend. He who neglects to do justice to himself, from carelessness or idleness, must often wrong those with whom he is connected; for it is by no means a correct principle, that an idle man hurts nobody but himself. Virtue, (says Hawksworth) is not to be considered in the light of mere innocence, or abstaining from harm; but as the exertion of our faculties in doing good: as Titus, when he had let a day slip undistinguished by some act of virtue, cried out, 'I have lost a day!' If we regard our time in this light, how many days shall we look back upon as irretrievably lost! and to how narrow a compass would such a method of calculation frequently reduce the longest life."

The House-keeper's Guide,

Bologna Sausages.—In making these, let your first care be to thoroughly cleanse the guts intended to contain your materials. Then get of beef, fed-veal, youngpork, and suet, two pounds of each, or in proportion according to the quantity to be made; add also one pound of well-seared lean and one pound of fat bacon. Chop them all up together very fine; then add a small quantity of thyme, savory, sage, and marjoram leaves; then add some salt and spices. The seasoning may be made higher or milder, according to the palate of the consumer. Let your water boil before the sausages are put in, and prick the skin in different places, lest the Bolognas should burst when boiling. Let them boil two hours; take them out to cool, and when cold, they are fit for use.

To recover Beer when Sour.-When beer has become sour, add some oyster-shells, calcined to whiteness; or a little powdered chalk. Either of these will correct the acidity, and will make it brisk and sparkling. It should be drank almost immediately afterwards.

To preserve Eggs.- If you place them all with the small end downwards in fine wood-ashes, and turn them once a week end ways, you will find that they will keep good some months.

To make Pumpkin Oil.-From the seeds of the pumpkin, which are generally thrown away, an abundance of an excellent oil may be extracted. When peeled, they yield much more oil than an equal quantity of flax. This oil burns well, gives a lively light, lasts longer

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