The Cornwall Correspondent. On Monday morning, the store of Mr. H. H. Josephs, in the Water Square, was broken into, by removing the bricks from under the sill of the window, by means of a knife and an iron instrument, or rude chisel. The burglar had placed the mouth of a barrel to the spot of his operation, and quietly carried on his work within it, so that had a person passed at the moment, they could have seen nothing but the barrel. Several pieces of sheeting, grandrille, and other articles have been abstracted, but all the watches and jewellery remained untouched. Our night watch (have we any?) are not very vigilant beyond the hour of nine at night-at which time we have seen them pulling the heavy bundle of grass from some poor negro's head, who had been returning from an unsuccessful market. Surely His Honour the Custos is unacquainted with the uselessness of the constables that attend on Mr. Hoole, and are more frequently employed in rendering the accounts for the late Cornwall Gazette, and other private matters, than in doing the business of the public. Mr. Bell, the head constable, is the only useful person among them. The salaries alone of constables in this parish amounts to about £1200 per annum. CHIT-CHAT. How to comport yourself under the lash of Satire.If you feel annoyed from the jest of a wag, or the squib of a satirst, (thinking that you are no more a fit subject for satire than a man going to the gallows,) walk courageously along the street-whistle a tune or hum a song, by way of shewing that you are not at all labouring under provocation. Don't bite your nails, because that may indicate vexation. Call upon Mr. Backbite, and ask him if it is a libel. He is an excellent judge, having been employed in that way from his earliest days. He is a sort of lay-lawyer. All those whose judgement is in the proportion of eightpence to the shilling consult him. He will tell you that the fellow has no talent--that he will not do so, when in S Castle, and that whipping is too good for him. This will operate on your discomposed nerves similarly to groaning or bawling to the alleviation of acute pain. Take care, however, that the author does not hear about it, or he will enjoy a hearty laugh at your expense. Maxim. The hatred of the vicious will do you less harm, than their conversation. THE ADVENTURES OF A GOSSIP. To Francis Fiddlewood, Esq. " SIR,-On Friday last, at a late hour at night, after a day's hard labour, and while I sat solitary in my own room, I pulled your last Number of the Gossip from my pocket and laid it on the table :-it was folded, and, as if the elasticity of the paper required its wonted form, I began to perceive its leaves turn back, and the title lay flat before me. No sooner had it got completely composed, and every ruffle nearly smoothed on its countenance, than, giving a heavy sigh, I heard, or fancied I heard, proceed from it the following brief auto-biography, which neither professes to resemble that of Mansie Wauch, nor the now celebrated Francis Fiddlewood.* Master," said the thing, "I am a good deal vexed at your simplicity in allowing me to be bandied about from hand to hand. You lent me to one friend, it is true, but he lent me to another, who lent me to another, and another, and another, and so on till I have changed masters nine or ten different times at least, in three days. Your friend admired me very much, but it was empty admiration, for he paid nothing for my support. It was like sentimental charity, or Tattle's patriotism, mere Baa, baa, baa. Well, sir, I was about an hour in his possession, when in came the illustrious Cato, a servant, who addressed your friend,-" Massa compliment to massa, beg massa if im no use de Gostop im would lend it to massa." Off he went, admiring de fine Jan Crow' at the top; but his unenlighted mind was unable to penetrate further than this hieroglyphic. "Let us have it," said his master, who now sat down eagerly to devour my contents. He first looked at the Cornwall Correspondent, and after a hearty laugh over the "gin admittin" and "blue ruin" squib, he read aloud and afterwards beat the time to " Dan, dan, Shandrydan. He's more like his crest than his crest's like a man." His laughter now became immoderate. "Ha! ha, ha, ha, ha!" said he, "bring me some punch, Cato-bring me some punch "Dan dan." Me no see Dan, Massa, me see no Dan Sir," "Shandrydan," said his master-" me no see im nider massa." "No * This is a paff, to encourage me to insert it. F. F. I suppose not, but go to Falmouth and you will not miss him." After this a third messenger came, who after waiting a quarter of an hour, carried me over to his busha. The busha, who was a bit of a bookworm, as well as a fellow of infinite mirth soon swallowed his dinner to swallow me. He read me aloud, particularly the Shandrydan, till every tongue and toe articulated "Dan dan Shandry dan," &c. The fact is, Sir, my Shandrydan concern has become a great favourite: three Bookkeepers wrote me off; and all repeat the chorus of" Dan dan," &c. The next messenger to whose care and cleanliness I was consigned, (as witness my face) was a dirty fellow, who squeezed me up till I almost cried aloud; but it is not worth while to rebuke a dirty negro; for as soon as you do so the creature is at his dirty work again. I now passed out of hand to No. 9. He commenced from the beginning and began to copy a receipt or two; but, tiring of transcription, he said, "Oh, what is tenpence? I shall have a complete set from the beginning. the first time I go to Falmouth; for it is more independent to have it of one's own:--This gentleman transferred me to a creature, who, just as he had opened me, heard a voice below with which he seemed to be well acquainted; he snatched me up, shoved me into a drawer, where I was nearly suffocated by a bundle of unsoiled Couriers, one of which he carefully laid upon the table and muttered in a low tone "Ah! it will not do for him to see the filthy Gossip here." My next reader was an elderly gentleman, who had just taken me up. "Ah," said he, "thou sprightly little book, thou art worth all the Couriers in the world.Take home Mr. Sandbag's Courier. Any thing more of the Gin business, I wonder?" He turned to my last page and read Blue Ruin; and oh, how the grey beard laughed "I am both tired and sleepy," said the tiny book, "so, good night, sir, and pleasant dreams." Falmouth: DICK. PRINTED FOR THE EDITOR, BY ALEX. HOLMES. 1 THE GOSSIP; A Literary, Domestic, and Useful Publication, "Call armourers, Ho! "Furbish my vizor-close my rivets up- The Helmets: By Penrose. The melancholy event of which I have given but a very imperfect relation, impressed me with a desire to frequent all the solitary haunts, lonely glens, and romantic scenes so thickly scattered round the environs of the capital of Scotland. The castellated and dusky towers of Roslin, its Gothie Chapel, and its wood-banked stream, glistening through interstices of thick foliage, were often the scene of attraction. One day after threading its rural walks, I sat down on a shaded plot of grass, more resembling the descriptions of poets than reality. It looked as if designed for the disporting of faeries by moonlight: it was smooth like rich green velvet, which the butter-flower studded with spots of gold. Close by stood a stately oak, an emblem of strengh, connected with valour, and near it the mountain-ash, from whose boughs the deadly weapons of our ancient warriors were formed. These types, and in such a place, drew forth a train of historical reflection, of which the following will serve as an outline. The mind was first led back to the remote periods of the nation, when legend and fiction took the place of history. Here was the spot where three gallant battles were fought and victories achieved in one day. The truce which the First Edward made with the Scots had scarcely expired, when he sent an army into Scotland, under the command of John de Segrave. This officer conducted his troops towards Edinburgh, and next to Roslin. For the convenience of quarters, and to provide themselves with forage and subsistence, he marched his forces in three divisions. Being thus separated, they were incapable of rendering assistance to each other. One party was suddenly attacked by the regent* and Sir Simon Fraser; and being unprepared, was immediately routed and pursued with great slaughter. The few that escaped, flying to the second division, gave warning of the approach of the enemy: the soldiers ran to their arms; and were immediately led on to take revenge for the death of their countrymen. The Scots, elated with the advantage already obtained, made a vigorous impression upon them: the English, animated with a thirst of vengeance, maintained a stout resistance: the victory was long undecided between them; but at last declared itself entirely in favour of the former, who broke the English and chased them to the third division, now advancing with a hasty march to support their distressed companions. Many of the Scots had fallen in the two first actions; most of them were wounded; and all of them extremely fatigued by the long continuance of the combat: yet were they so transported with success and military rage, that, having suddenly recovered their order, and arming the |