SCENE II.]

THE YOUNG QUAKER.

31

Sha. Yes, I was. So, when I did make love to her in the Dilly-you know my vay, I told her I overheard all her vickedness, and that I did know you.

Chr. Then she was shocked, I suppose?

Sha. No, indeed she was not.

Directly she find I vas your friend, she proposes dat I should assist in de plot, and, if we had good luck, I should marry her.

Chr. And so you sent for

Sha. For you to give your consent, and den I shall have all dat I vant, you know.

Chr. [Rising.] Oh ho!

Sha. Vere are you going?

Chr. For a couple of constables. I'll have her secured.
Sha. Pooh! pooh! Sit down.

Chr. What; an impostor-a harlot, to think to put such a trick upon me!

Sha. Why, an't I in the plot?

Chr. Yes, and the dvvil a bit the better that makes it! Sha. What! not when I have warned you of the imposition? Now you shall be taken in by it!

Chr. Shall I ?

Sha. You shall!

Chr. I shan't!

Sha. Yes, yes, I tell you, as if she was really your daughter; and, as such, give your consent dat she should marry me.

Chr. Me!-I don't care twopence who she marries, but off she goes!

Spa. Be quiet! You wouldn't be so unfriendly as to hinder my love going on?

Chr. Well, well, go on with your love; but, ecod, I never thought you so gallant a fellow. But, Shadrach, this thief of a girl is so very pretty, and so like me-just what I should suppose my daughter Dinah to be, I should certainly have been taken in by her. Come, we'll go and abuse her.

Sha. No, no: though she's a rogue, she's pretty; and I'll never again abuse a pretty girl. You had best keep out of de vay, or she may discover you to be Primrose.

Chr. True, true!-Zounds! if I'm found out, and old Sadboy's son here in town, he sues me for all the cash that I was deficient in our partnership.

Sha. Yes, and so you must be cautious. Vell, I must go and take a lodging for de sham Dinah, in some of de Marybone buildings.

Chr. And I must go and prepare a grand entertainment

32

THE YOUNG QUAKER.

[ACT III.

that I give this evening to Araminta and Lady Rounceval. Sha. You give an entertainment! [Laughing.] Ha, ha, ha!

Chr. What do you laugh at?

Sha. 'Cause I tought you said you gave it.

Chr. Yes, I give it; but Captain Ambush is to pay for it. I can't stand his house in Grosvenor Street; so he gives up his present lodgings to me for a fortnight; I marry Araminta; then farewell that side of Temple Bar, and hey for Aldermanbury, a snug box upon Hackney Marsh, and a trip to Margate in the dog-days! [Exeunt, L.

END OF ACT II.

ACT III.

SCENE I.-An Apartment in Captain Ambush's House— a table elegantly set forth, with several bottles, &c. SPATTERDASH discovered, c.

Spa. [Taking up a bottle.] How comes this bottle uncorked? Champagne !-Oh, then, the sooner it's drank out, the better. [Drinking.] Ay, I must do all this business myself; it's all upon my brain.

Enter YOUNG SADBOY, L.

Young S. So, Spatterdash, I see thou art sumptuous in thy preparations.

Spa. Yes, sir, I have done my best.

Young S. Sparkling champagne! brilliant Burgandy! Of those will I carry off three flasks; I could drink four were I not a Quaker.

Spa. The same wine sir, that you and my master drank at Willis's.

Young S. Oh! I've had a bottle of each since dinner. [Knocking without, L. Spa. I fancy, sir, these are the ladies.

Young S. Ladies! Egad! I dread their presence. If I drink too much, I may come to shame. [Aside.] I did offend my Dinah once by intoxication. I'll pray caution from Spatterdash. [Aloud.] Spatterdash, thou know'st I love the juice of the grape.

Spa. Yes, sir, I've seen your honour pretty hearty. Young S. Mind my words; I do fear to tipple when in the company of ladies; for, after the second bottle, Beel

SCENE 1.]

THE YOUNG QUAKER.

33

zebub himself cannot keep me from running up and down among them, and talking amorous nonsense; therefore, I do beseech thee to have an eye upon me; and if thou dost find me making too free with the bottle, do thou give me a hint, lest I, by drinking, should expose my folly.

Spa. I'll watch you, sir, and if a hint from me can prevent you, you shan't get tipsy, I warrant you. Young S. I'll requite thy care.

Wine in moderation giveth and imparteth joy; but the man that is drunk, a woman of sense despiseth.

[Exit, L. Spa. So, I shall have enough upon my hands for one night, where I have two masters and a mistress under the same roof. Chronicle thinks I'm Lady Rounceval's servant, she imagines I belong to him, while Lieutenant Godfrey is my real master, and Captain Ambush his real

name.

[Exit, with a bottle, R.

Enter CHRONICLE, LADY ROUNCEVAL, and ARAMINTA, L.

Chr. This way, my lady! Yes, my lady, yes, the house is well enough.

Lady R. Magnificent, I protest. Araminta, have you nothing to say in praise of such a house-not even a compliment?

Ara. Praise! I'm quite disappointed in it!

Chr. How disappointed, miss?

Ara. It contradicts my expectations. Where could you have picked up such ideas of splendour and taste? Chr. Picked up! I bought it, miss.

Ara. Buy taste! [Laughing.] Ha, ha, ha!

Chr. To be sure; your may buy anything in London, if you have money enough.

Ara. Well, you are an elegant wretch, that I must say!

Chr. An't I, miss? I made this purchase for you, my sweet bride. [Aside.] But luckily, I'm not to pay for it! Lady R. Some very fine pictures, Mr. Chronicle.

Ara. Pictures! [Aside.] Bless me, the features of my dear Godfrey.

Chr. What's the matter, my angel?

Ara. Nothing.-Pray whose picture's that?

Chr. He in the red coat? Oh, that's Captain Ambush. [Aside.] Must not tell her he's master of this house.

Ara. Captain Ambush! Thank you, sir. [Aside.] Amazingly like my dear Godfrey.

34

THE YOUNG QUAKER.

[ACT III.

Enter CLOD, L.

Clod. Sir, here's Captain Rambush below.

Chr. Ambush, you blockhead! Shew him up. [Exit Clod, L.] Ladies, you will now see the original of that picture.

Enter CAPTAIN AMBUSH, L.

Ara. (R. c.) [Aside.] Oh, heavens! 'tis my Godfrey himself!

Chr. (c.) Ladies, this is Captain Ambush, a very clever gentleman, as you see, he has a title at his elbow, and, what's better, a fine estate; for Lord Belville, to whom he's next heir, will soon waddle out of the alley. [Apart to Ambush.] There's an introduction to a well-jointured widow, you rogue! [Aloud.] Captain, Miss Araminta, my spouseLady Rounceval, my intended mother-in-law.

Ara. [Aside.] What can this mean?

to know him.

But I won't seem

Lady R. [Aside.] A fine young man, indeed! [To Ambush.] We were just admiring your picture, sir.

Amb. You do me a great deal of honour!

[Lady Rounceval and Chronicle retire up to view the pictures, R. U. E.

Ara. Pray, Mr. Godfrey, what am I to think of this introduction?

Amb. Think of it as I do, and you'll make me happy.My resemblance to Captain Ambush's picture, which Chronicle bought of the painter who had it returned upon his hands, put him upon the thoughts of introducing me to your mamma as the original, merely as a piece of vanity to her, that he is acquainted with persons of rank and condition.

Ara. Well, I never saw such a likeness.

Amb. Yes, it's as like as if it was drawn for me.

Ara. Well, Godfrey, you haven't yet secured me: have a care! it may be a most unlucky thing for you, if this Captain Ambush comes in my way; for I actually believe I shall fall in love with him. If his picture be at all like him, he must certainly be a most beautiful man.

Amb. How can you flatter me so, my love?

Ara. You, you conceited thing! I mean that Captain

Ambush.

Amb. [Aside.] I don't like this raillery. [Aloud.] Madam, I can never be offended at an partiality you may hap

SCENE 1.] THE YOUNG QUAKER.

35

pen to entertain for the original of a picture, which so much resembles your humble adorer.

[Chronicle and Lady Rounceval come forward. Lady R. (L. c.) I am no connoisseur, Mr. Chronicle, but, in my opinion, they are very choice indeed.

Chr. (c.) A few, but all good, madam. Hey, Captain ! where's your comrade?

Amb. Who, Mr. Sadboy?

Chr. Aye.-Ladies, here's a cunning spark for you: he carries a young Quaker about the town with him, only as a foil to set off his pretty person.

Re-enter CLOD, L.

Clod. Sir, here's Mr. Badboy below.

Chr. Sadboy, you dog! you can never remember a name. Clod. Yes, sir, he ax'd for Captain Rambush. [Exit, L. Chr. The identical young Quaker. A genius, I assure you!

Enter YOUNG SADBOY, formally, L.

A young primitive! Ladies, this is Mr. Reuben Sadboy. [Apart to Sadboy.] Zounds! send the Quaker to Philadelphia, and be a gentleman for half an hour!

Young S. [Taking Lady Rounceval's hand, and shaking it three times.] Friend, thy servant! [Crossing to Araminta, taking her hand, and shaking it thrice.] Young woman, I am glad to see you.

Chr. [Knocking off Sadboy's hat.] Come, unlock your beaver to the ladies.

Young S. [Taking up his hat.] Psha! d-n your nonsense, you old fool! Ladies, the man Chronicle here is an ancient sinner; the snow of winter is sprinkled on his pate, but the wisdom of years enlighteneth not his mind;— his head is as a ball stuffed with straw and covered with leather; yea, my friend Chronicle hath a leather head.[Apart to Chronicle.] Oh, d-n your leather head.

Chr. Here's a fellow! curses, swears, and abuses a man according to chapter and verse! Oh, you orthodox profligate!

Lady R. A very promising young gentleman, indeed! Ara. What a strange creature!

Enter SPATTERDASH, drunk, R.

Spa. Did you call, sir? I've done everything; I've the tea and coffee ready; and I've laid in the wine. Chr. Yes, yes, I see you've laid in the wine.