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No CLXXXII. FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 28.

PLUS ALOES QUAM MELLIS HABET.

Juv. SAT. VI. VER. 180.

THE BITTER OVERBALANCES THE SWEET.

S all parts of human life come under my oblervation, my reader must not make uncharitable inferences from my fpeaking knowingly of that fort of crime which is at prefent treated of. He will, I hope, fuppofe I know it only from the letters of correfpondents, two of which you fhall have as follow.

MR. SPECTATOR,

IT is wonderful to me that among the many enormities which you have treated of, you have not mentioned that of wenching, and particularly the enfnaring part; I mean, that it is a thing very fit for your pen, to expofe the vil lainy of the practice of deluding women. You are to know, Sir, that I myself am a woman who have been one of the unhappy that have fallen into this miffortune, and that by the infinuation of a very worthlefs fellow, who ferved others in the fame manner both before my ruin and fince that time. I had, as foon as the rafcal left me, fo much indignation and resolution, as not to go upon the town, as the phrafe is, but took to work for my living in an obfcure place, out of the knowledge of all with whom I was before acquainted.

It is the ordinary practice and bufinefs of life, with a fet of idle fellows about this town, to write letters, fend meffages, and form appointments with little raw unthinking girls, and leave them after poffeffion of them, without any mercy, to fhame, infamy, poverty, and difeafe. Were you to read the naufeous impertinences which are writ ten on thefe occafions, and to fee the filly creatures fighing over them, it could not but be matter of mirth as well as pity. A little 'prentice girl of mine has been for fome time applied to by an Irith fellow who dreffes very fine, and Bruts in a laced coat, and is the admiration of feamftreffes who are under age in town. Ever fince I have had fome knowledge of the matter, I have debarred my 'prentice from pen, ink, and

paper. But the other day he bespoke fome cravats of me. I went out of the fhop, and left his miftrefs to put them up into a bandbox, in order to be sent to him when his man called. When I came into the fhop again, I took occafion to fend her away, and found in the bottom of the box written thefe words-'Why would you ruin a harmless creature that loves you?' Then in the lidThere is no refifting Strephon. I fearched a little farther, and found in the rim of the box- At eleven o'clock

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at night come in an hackney coach at the end of our street. This was enough to alarm me; I fent away the things, and took my meafures accordingly. An hour or two before the ap pointed time I examined my young lady, and found her trunk stuffed with impertinent letters, and an old feroll of parchment in Latin, which her lover had fent her as a fettlement of fifty pounds a year: among other things, there was alfo the beft lace I had in my fhop to make him a prefent for cravats. I was very glad of this last circumftance, because I could very confcientioutly fwear against him that he had enticed my fervant away, and was her accomplice in robbing me. I procured a warrant against him accordingly. Every thing was now prepared, and the tender hour of love approaching, I, who had acted for myself in my youth the fame fenfelefs part, knew how to manage ac cordingly: therefore, after having locked up my maid, and not being fo much unlike her in height and shape, as in a huddled way not to pafs for her, I delivered the bundle defigned to be carried off to her lover's man, who came with the fignal to receive them. Thus I followed after to the coach, where when I faw his mafter take them in, I cried out-Thieves! thieves!' and the conftable with his attendants feized my expecting lover. I kept myfelf unob ferved until I faw the crowd sufficiently increafed, and then appeared to declare

the

the goods to be mine; and had the fatif faction to fee my man of mode put into the Round-house, with the stolen wares

by him, to be produced in evidence against him the next morning. This matter is notoriously known to be fact; and I have been contented to fave my 'prentice, and take a year's rent of this mortified lover, not to appear farther in the matter. This was fome penance: but, Sir, is this enough for a villainy of much more pernicious confequence than the trifles for which he was to have been indicted? Should not you, and all men of any parts or honour, put things upon fo right a foot, as that fuch a raícal fhould not laugh at the imputation of what he was really guilty, and dread being accused of that for which he was arrested?

In a word, Sir, it is in the power of you, and fuch as I hope you are, to make it as infamous to rob a poor creature of her honour as her clothes. I leave this to your confideration, only take leave (which I cannot do without fighing) to remark to you, that if this had been the fenfe of mankind thirty years ago, I fhould have avoided a life fpent in poverty and fame.

I am, Sir,

Your most humble fervant,

ALICE THREADNEEDLE.

ROUND-HOUSE, SEPT. 9.

MR. SPECTATOR,

I Am a man of pleasure about town, but by the ftupidity of a dull rogué of a juftice of peace, and an infolent conftable, upon the oath of an old harridan, am imprisoned here for theft, when I defigned only fornication. The midnight magiftrate, as he conveyed me along, had you in his mouth, and said this would make a pure story for the Spectator. I hope, Sir, you will not pretend to wit, and take the part of dull rogues of bufinefs. The world is fò altered of late years, that there was not a man who would knock down a watchman in my behalf, but I was carried off with as much triumph as if I had been a pick-pocket. At this rate, there is an end of all the wit and humour in the world. The time was when all the honest whore-mafters in the neighbourhood would have rofe against the cuckolds to my rescue. If fornication is to be fcandalous, half the fine things that have been writ by most of the wits of the laft age may be burnt by the common hangman. Harkee, Spec, do not be queer; after having done fome things pretty well, do not begin to write at that rate that no gentleman can read thee. Be true to love, and burn your Seneca. You do not expect me to write my name from hence, but I am

Your unknown humble, &c.

N° CLXXXIII. SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 29.

Ιδμεν ψεύδεα πολλὰ λέγειν ἐτύμοισιν ὁμοῖα,
ιδμεν δ ̓ εἶτ ̓ ἐέθλωμεν, ἀληθέα μυθήσασθαι.

HESIOD.

SOMETIMES FAIR TRUTH IN FICTION WE DISGUISE,
SOMETIMES PRESENT HER NAKED TO MEN'S EYES.

FABLES were the first pieces of offending it, and to bring the man after

wit that made their appearance in the world, and have been ftill highly valued not only in times of the greatest fimplicity, but among the mot polite ages of mankind. Jotham's Fable of the Trees is the oldeft that is extant, and as beautiful as any which have been made fince that time. Nathan's Fable of the Poor Man and his Lamb is likewife more ancient than any that is extant, befides the above-mentioned, and had fo good an effect, as to convey inBruction to the ear of a king without

God's own heart to a right fenfe of his guilt and his duty. We find fop in the most diftant ages of Greece; and if we look into the very beginning of the commonwealth of Rome, we fee a mutiny among the common people appeafed by a fable of the Belly and the Limbs, which was indeed very proper to gain the attention of an incenfed rabble, at a time when perhaps they would have torn to pieces any man who had preached the fame doctrine to thera in an open and direct manner. As fa

bles

bles took their birth in the very infancy of learning, they never flourished more than when learning was at it's greatest height. To justify this affertion, I fhall put my reader in mind of Horace, the greatest wit and critic in the Auguftan age; and of Boileau, the most correct poet among the moderns: not to mention La Fontaine, who by this way of writing is come more into vogue than any other author of our times.

The fables I have here mentioned are raifed altogether upon brutes and vegetables, with fome of our own fpecies mixt among them, when the moral hath fo required. But befides this kind of fable, there is another in which the actors are paffions, virtues, vices, and other imaginary perfons of the like nature. Some of the ancient critics will have it, that the Iliad and Odyffey of Homer are fables of this nature; and that the feveral names of gods and heroes are nothing elfe but the affections of the mind in a visible shape and character. Thus they tell us, that Achilles, in the first Iliad, reprefents anger, or the irafcible part of human nature; that upon drawing his fword against his fuperior in a full affembly, Pallas is only another name for reafon, which checks and advifes him upon that occasion; and at her first appearance touches him upon the head, that part of the man being looked upon as the feat of reafon. And thus of the rest of the poem. As for the Odyffey, I think it is plain that Horace confidered it as one of these allegorital fables, by the moral which he has given us of feveral parts of it. The greatest Italian wits have applied themfelves to the writing of this latter kind of fables: as Spenfer's Fairy Queen is one continued feries of them from the beginning to the end of that admirable work. If we look into the finest profeauthors of antiquity, fuch as Cicero, Plato, Xenophon, and many others, we fhall find that this was likewife their favourite kind of fable. I fhall only farther obferve upon it, that the firft of this fort that made any confiderable figure in the world was that of Hercules meeting with Pleasure and Virtue; which was invented by Prodicus, who lived before Socrates, and in the first dawnings of philofophy. He used to travel through Greece by virtue of this fable, which procured him a kind reception in all the market towns, where he never

failed telling it as foon as he had gathered an audience about him.

After this fhort preface, which I have made up of fuch materials as my memory does at prefent fuggeft to me, before I prefent my reader with a fable of this kind, which I defign as the entertainment of the prefent paper, I muft in a few words open the occafion of it.

In the account which Plato gives us of the converfation and behaviour of Socrates, the morning he was to die, he tells the following circumftance.

When Socrates his fetters were knocked off, (as was ufual to be done on the day that the condemned perfon was to be executed) being feated in the midit of his difciples, and laying one of his legs over the other, in a very unconcerned posture, he began to rub it where it had been galled by the iron; and whether it was to fhew the indifference with which he entertained the thoughts of his approaching death, or (after his ufual manner) to take every occafion of philofophifing upon fome ufeful fubje&t, he obferved the pleasure of that fenfation which now arofe in thofe very parts of his leg, that just before had been fo much pained by the fetter. Upon this he reflected on the nature of pleasure and pain in general, and how conítantly they fucceed one another. To this he added, that if a man of good genius for a fable were to reprefent the nature of pleasure and pain in that way of writing, he would probably join them together after fuch a manner, that it would be impoffible for the one to come into any place, without being followed by the other.

It is poflible, that if Plato had thought it proper at fuch a time to defcribe Socrates launching out into a difcourfe which was not of a piece with the bufinefs of the day, he would have enlarged upon this hint, and have drawn it out into fome beautiful allegory or fable. But fince he has not done it, I fhall attempt, to write one myself in the spirit of that divine author.

There were two families which from the beginning of the world were as oppolite to each other as light and darknefs. The one of them lived in Heaven, and the other in Hell. The youngeft defcendant of the first family was Pleafure, who was the daughter of Happinets, who was the child of Virtue,

whe

who was the offspring of the gods. Thefe, as I faid before, had their habitation in heaven. The youngest of the oppofite family was Pain, who was the fon of Mifery, who was the child of Vice, who was the offspring of the Furies. The habitation of this race of beings was in hell.

The middle ftation of nature between thefe two oppofite extremes was the earth, which was inhabited by creatures of a middle kind, neither so virtuous as the one, nor fo vicious as the other, but partaking of the good and bad qualities of thefe two oppofite families. Jupiter confidering that thefe fpecies commonly called Man, was too virtuous to be miferable, and too vicious to be happy; that he might make a distinction between the good and the bad, ordered the two youngest of the above-mentioned families, Pleasure who was the daughter of Happiness, and Pain who was the fon of Mifery, to meet one another upon this part of nature which lay in the halfway between them, having promised to fettle it upon them both, provided they could agree upon the divifion of it, fo as to fhare mankind between them.

Pleasure and Pain were no fooner met in their new habitation, but they iminediately agreed upon this point, that Pleafure fhould take poffeffion of the virtuous, and Pain of the vicious part of that fpecies which was given up to them. But upon examining to which of them any individual they met with belonged, they found each of them had a right to him; for that, contrary to what they had seen in their old places of refidence, there was no perfon fo vicious who had

not fome good in him, nor any perfon fo virtuous who had not in him fome evil. The truth of it is, they generally found upon fearch, that in the most vicious man Pleafure might lay a claim to an hundredth part, and that in the most virtuous man Pain might come in for at leaft two thirds. This they faw would occafion endless difputes between them, unless they could come to fome accommodation. To this end there was a marriage propofed between them, and at length concluded: by this means it is that we find Pleasure and Pain are fuch conftant yoke-fellows, and that they either make their vifits together, or are never far afunder.. If Pain comes into an heart, he is quickly followed by Pleasure; and if Pleafure enters, you may be fure Pain is not far off.

But notwithstanding this marriage was very convenient for the two parties, it did not feem to answer the intention of Jupiter in fending them among mankind. To remedy therefore this inconvenience, it was ftipulated between them by article, and confirmed by the confent of each family, that notwithstanding they here poffeffed the fpecies indifferently; upon the death of every fingle perfon, if he was found to have in him a certain proportion of evil, he should be difpatched into the infernal regions by a paflport from Pain, there to dwell with Mifery, Vice, and the Furies. Or on the contrary, if he had in him a certain proportion of good, he thould be dispatched into heaven by a pafiport from Pleasure, there to dwell with Happiness, Virtue, and the Gods,

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brought me the following letter by the laft poft. I fhall not premife any thing to it farther, than that it is built on matter of fact, and is as follows.

SIR,

YOU have already obliged the world

with a difcourfe upon grinning, and have fince proceeded to whittling, from whence you at length came to yawning;

from

from this, I think, you may make a very natural tranfition to fleeping. I therefore recommend to you for the fubject of a paper the following advertisement, which about two months ago was given into every body's hands, and may be feen with fome additions in the Daily Courant of August the ninth.

Nicholas Hart, who flept laft year at St. Bartholomew's Hospital, intends to fleep this year at the Cock and Bottle in Little Britain.'

Having fince inquired into the matter of fact, I find that the above-mentioned Nicholas Hart is every year feized with a periodical fit of fleeping, which begins upon the fifth of August, and ends on the eleventh of the fame month: That On the first of that month he grew dull; On the fecond, appeared drowsy; On the third, fell a yawning; On the fourth, began to nod; On the fifth, dropped asleep; On the fixth, was heard to fnore; On the seventh, turned himself in his

bed;

On the eighth, recovered his former pofture;

On the ninth, fell a ftretching;
On the tenth about midnight, awaked;
On the eleventh in the morning, call-
ed for a little fmall-beer.

This account I have extracted out of the journal of this fleeping worthy, as it has been faithfully kept by a gentleman of Lincoln's Inn, who has undertaken to be his hiftoriographer. I have fent it to you, not only as it reprefents the actions of Nicholas Hart, but as it feems a very natural picture of the life of many an honeft English Gentleman, whofe whole hiftory very often confifts of yawning, nodding, stretching, turning, fleeping, drinking, and the like extraordinary particulars. I do not queftion, Sir, that, if you pleased, you could put out an advertisement not unlike the above-mentioned, of feveral men of figure; that Mr. John fuch-a-one, Gentleman, or Thomas fuch-a-one, Efquire, who flept in the country lat fummer, intends to fleep in town this winter. The worft of it is, that the drowfy part of our fpecies is chiefly made up of very honeft Gentlemen, who five quietly among their neighbours without ever disturbing the public peace: they are drones without ftings. I could heartily wish, that several turbulent, restless, ambitious fpirits, would for a while change

places with thefe good men, and enter themfelves into Nicholas Hart's fraternity. Could one but lay afleep a few bufy heads which I could name, from the first of November next to the first of May enfuing, I question not but it would very much redound to the quiet of particular perfons, as well as to the benefit of the public.

But to return to Nicholas Hart: I believe, Sir, you will think it a very extraordinary circumftance for a man to gain his livelihood by fleeping, and that ret fhould procure a man fuftenance as well as industry; yet so it is that Nicholas got last year enough to fupport himfelf for a twelvemonth. I am likewife informed that he has this year had a very comfortable nap. The poets value themselves very much for fleeping on Parnaffus, but I never heard they got a groat by it: on the contrary, our friend Nicholas gets more by fleeping than he could by working, and may be more properly faid, than ever Homer was, to have had golden dreams. Juvenal indeed mentions a drowsy husband who raifed an eftate by fnoring, but then he is reprefented to have flept what the common people call a Dog's fleep; or if his fleep was real his wife was awake, and about her bufinefs. Your pen, which loves to moralize upon all fubjects, may raife fomething, methinks, on this circumftance alfo, and point out to us thofe fets of men, who inftead of growing rich by an honeft induftry, recommend themfelves to the favours of the great, by making themfelves agreeable compa nions in the participations of luxury and pleasure.

I muft farther acquaint you, Sir, that one of the most eminent pens in Grub Street is now employed in writing the dream of this miraculous fleeper, which I hear will be of a more than ordinary length, as it must contain all the particulars that are fuppofed to have paffed in his imagination during so long a fleep. He is faid to have gone already through three days and three nights of it, and to have comprised in them the most remarkable patfages of the four firth empires of the world. If he can keep free from party ftrokes, his work may be of ufe; but this I much doubt, having been informed by one of his friends and confidents, that he has spoken fome things of Nimrod with too great freedom. I am ever, Sir, &c.

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No CLXXXV.

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