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N° CLIII. SATURDAY, AUGUST 25.

HABET NATURA UT ALIARUM OMNIUM RERUM SIC VIVENDI MODUM; SENECTUS AUTEM PERACTIO ÆTATIS EST TANQUAM FABULA. CUJUS DEFATIGATIONEM FUGERE DEBEMUS PRÆSERTIM ADJUNCTA SATIETATE.

TULL. DE SENECT. LIFE, AS WELL AS ALL OTHER THINGS, HAS IT'S BOUNDS ASSIGNED BY NATURE; AND IT'S CONCLUSION, LIKE THE LAST ACT OF A PLAY, IS OLD AGE; THE FATIGUE OF WHICH WE OUGHT TO SHUN, ESPECIALLY WHEN OUR APPETITES ARE FULLY SATISFIED.

F all the impertinent wishes which

there is not one more unworthy a gentleman, or a man of liberal education, than that of wifhing one's felf younger. I have obferved this with is ufually made upon fight of fome object which gives the idea of a past action, that it is no difhonour to us that we cannot now repeat; or elfe on what was in itself fhameful when we performed it. It is a certain fign of a foolish or a diffolute mind if we want our youth again only for the ftrength of bones and finews which we once were masters of. It is, as my author has it, as abfurd in an old man to wish for the ftrength of a youth, as it would be in a young man to wish for the ftrength of a bull or a horse. These wishes are both equally out of nature, which fhould direct in all things that are not contradictory to justice, law, and reafon. But though every old man has been young, and every young one hopes to be old, there feems to be a most unnatural misunderstanding between thofe two stages of life. This unhappy want of commerce arifes from the infolent arrogance or exultation in youth, and the irrational defpondence or felf-pity in age. A young man whofe paffion and ambition is to be good and wife, and an old one who has no inclination to be lewd or debauched, are quite unconcerned in this fpeculation; but the cocking young fellow who treads upon the toes of his elders, and the old fool who envies the faucy pride he fees in him, are the objects of our present contempt and derifion. Contempt and derifion are harth words; but in what manher can one give advice to a youth in the purfuit and poffeffion of fenfual plea fures, or afford pity to an old man in the impotence and defire of enjoying them? When young men in public places betray in their deportment an abandon

ed refignation to their appetites, they

fpicable age, which, if not interrupted by death in the midst of their follies, must certainly come. When an old man bewails the lofs of fuch gratifications which are paft, he difcovers a monstrous inclination to that which it is not in the courfe of Providence to recal. The ftate of an old man, who is diffatisfied merely for his being fuch, is the most out of all measures of reafon and good fenfe of any being we have any account of from the highelt angel to the lowest worm. How miferable is the contemplation to confider a libidinous old man, while all created things, befides himself and devils, are following the order of Providence, fretting at the course of things, and being almoft the fole male

content in the creation! But let us a little reflect upon what he has loft by the number of years; the paffions which he had in his youth are not to be obeyed as they were then, but reafon is more powerful now without the disturbance of them. An old gentleman the other day in difcourfe with a friend of his, reflecting upon fome adventures they had in youth together, cried out

Oh, Jack, those were happy days!'That is true,' replied his friend, but methinks we go about our business more quietly than we did then. One would think it should be no fmall fatisfaction to have gone fo far in our journey that the heat of the day is over with us.

When life itself is a fever, as it is in licentious youth, the pleasures of it are no other than the dreams of a man in that diftemper; and it is as abfurd to with the return of that season of life, as for a man in health to be forry for the lofs of gilded palaces, fairy walks, and flowery paftures, with which he remem bers he was entertained in the troubled Qumbers of a fit of fickness.

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As to all the rational and worthy plea fures of our being, the confcience of a good fame, the contemplation of another life, the respect and commerce of honeft men, our capacities for fuch enjoyments are enlarged by years. While health endures, the latter part of life, in the eye of realon, is certainly the more eligible. The memory of a well-fpent. youth gives a peaceable, unmixed, and elegant pleasure to the mind; and to fuch who are fo unfortunate as not to be able to look back on youth with fatisfaction, they may give themselves no little confolation that they are under no temptation to repeat their follies, and that they at prefent defpife them. It was prettily faid- He that would be long an old man, must begin early to be one.' It is too late to refign a thing after a man is robbed of it; therefore it is neceffary that before the arrival of age we bid adieu to the purfuits of youth, otherwife fenfual habits will live in our imaginations when our limbs cannot be fubfervient to them. The poor fellow who loft his arm laft fiege, will tell you, he feels the fingers that were buried in Flanders ake every cold morning at Chelsea.

The fond humour of appearing on the gay and fashionable world, and being applauded for trivial excellencies, is what makes youth have age in contempt, and makes age refign with fo ill a grace the qualifications of youth: but this in both fexes is inverting all things, and turning the natural courfe of our minds, which should build their approbations and diflikes upon what nature and reafon dictate, into chimera and confufion. Age, in a virtuous perfon, of either fex, carries in it an authority which makes it preferable to all the pleafures

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of youth. If to be faluted, attended, and confulted with deference, are inftances of pleasure, they are fuch as never fail a virtuous old age. In the enumeration of the imperfections and advantages of the younger and later years of man, they are fo near in their condition, that, methinks, it fhould be incredible we fee fo little commerce of kindness between them. If we confider youth and age with Tully, regarding the affinity to death, youth has many more chances to be near it than age; what youth can fay more than an old man, he fhall live until night? Youth catches diftempers more eafily, it's fick. nefs is more violent, and it's recovery more doubtful. The youth indeed hopes for many more days, fo cannot the old man. The youth's hopes are ill-grounded; for what is more foolish than to place any confidence upon an uncertainty? But the old man has not room fo much as for hope; he is still happier than the youth, he has already enjoyed what the other does but hope for: one wishes to live long, the other has lived long. But alas, is there any thing in human life, the duration of which can be called long? There is nothing which must end to be valued for it's continuance. If hours, days, months, and years, pass away, it is no matter what hour, what day, what month, or what year, we die. The applaufe of a good actor is due to him at whatever fcene of the play he makes his exit. It is thus in the life of a man of fenfe, a fhort life is fufficient to manifeft himself a man of honour and virtue; when he ceases to be fuch he has lived too long; and while he is such, it is of no confequence to him how long he fhall be fo, provided he is fo to his life's end.

N° CLIV. MONDAY, AUGUST 27.

NEMO REPENTE FUIT TURPISSIMUS

Juv. SAT. II. v. 33.

NO MAN E'ER REACH'D THE HEIGHTS OF VICE AT FIRST. 1

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with women, or you would know the generality of them are not fo angry as you imagine at the general vices among

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I am apt to believe, begging your pardon, that you are still what I myself was once, a queer modeft fellow; and therefore, for your information, fhall

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give you a fhort account of myself, and the reasons why I was forced to wench, drink, play, and do every thing which is neceffary to the character of a man of wit and pleasure, to be well with the ladies.

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You are to know then that I was bred a gentleman, and had the finishing part of my education under a man of great probity, wit, and learning, in one of our universities. I will not deny but this made my behaviour and mien bear in it a figure of thought rather than action; and a man of a quite contrary character, who never thought in his life, rallied me one day upon it, and faid, he believed I was ftill a virgin. There was a young lady of virtue prefent, and I was not displeased to favour the infinuation; but it had a quite contrary effect from what I expected. I was ever after treated with great coldness both by that lady and all the rest of my acquaint ance. In a very little time I never came into a room but I could hear a whifper Here comes the maid. A girl of humour would on fome occafion fay'Why how do you know more than any of us? An expreffion of that kind was generally followed by a loud laugh in a word, for no other fault in the world than that they really thought me as innocent as themfelves, I became of no confequence among them, and was received always upon the foot of a jeft. This made fo ftrong an impreffion upon me, that I refolved to be as agreeable as the beft of the men who laughed at me; but I obferved it was nonfenfe for me to be impudent at first among those who knew me; my cha. racter for modeity was fo notorious wherever I had hitherto appeared, that I refolved to fhew my face in new quarters of the world. My first step I chofe with judgment; for I went to Aftrop, and came down among a crowd of Academics, at one dafh, the impudenteft fellow that they had ever seen in their lives. Flushed with this fuccefs, I made love and was happy. Upon this conqueft I thought it would be unlike a gentleman to stay longer with my miftrefs, and crofied the country to Bury: I could give you a very good account of myfelf at that place allo. At thefe two ended my first fummer of gallantry. The winter following, you would wonder at it, but I relapfed into modesty

upon coming among people of figure in London, yet not fo much but that the ladies who had formerly laughed at me, faid- Blefs us! how wonderfully that gentleman is improved?' Some familiarities about the playhouses towards the end of the enfuing winter, made me conceive new hopes of adventures; and inttead of returning the next summer to Aftrop or Bury, I thought myself qualified to go to Epfom, and followed a young woman, whofe relations were jealous of my place in her favour, to Scarborough. I carried my point, and in my third year afpired to go to Tunbridge, and in the autumn of the fame year made my appearance at Bath. I was now got into the way of talk proper for ladies, and was run into a vast acquaintance among them, which I always improved to the best advantage. In all this courfe of time, and fome years following, I found a fober modest man was always looked upon by both fexes as a precife unfafhioned fellow of no life or fpirit. It was ordinary for a man who had been drunk in good company, or paffed a night with a wench, to fpeak of it the next day before women for whom he had the greatest respect. He was reproved, perhaps, with a blow of the fan, or an Oh fy!' but the angry lady ftill preferved an apparent approbation in her countenance: he was called a ftrange wicked fellow, a fad wretch; he shrugs his shoulders, swears, receives another blow, fwears again he did not know he fwore, and all was well. You might often fee men game in the prefence of women, and throw at once for more than they were worth, to recommend themselves as men of spirit. I found by long experience that the loofeft principles and most abandoned behaviour, carried all before them in pretenfions to women of fortune. The encouragement given to people of this ftamp, made me foon throw off the remaining impreffions of a fober education. In the above-mentioned places, as well as in town, I always kept company with those who lived moft at large; and in due process of time I was a pretty rake among the men, and a very pretty fellow among the women. I must confefs, I had fomne melancholy hours upon the account of the narrowness of my fortune, but my confcience at the fame time gave me the comfort that I had 2 P

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qualified myself for marrying a for

tune.

When I had lived in this manner for sometime, and became thus accomplished, I was now in the twenty-feventh year of my age, about the forty-feventh of my conititution, my health and eltate waiting very fat; when I happened to fall into the company of a very pretty young lady in her own difpofal. I entertained the company, as we men of gallantry generally do, with the many haps and difatters, watchings under windows, efcapes from jealous hufbands, and feveral other perils. The young thing was wonderfully charmed with one that knew the world fo well, and talked fo fine; with Deidemona, ali her lover faid affected her It was range, it was ⚫ wonderous ftrange.' .In a word, I faw the impreffion I had made upon her, and with a very little application the pretty thing has married me. There is fo much charm in her innocence and beauty, that I do now as much deteft the courfe I have been in for many years, as I ever did before I entered into it.

What I intend, Mr. Spectator, by writing all this to you, is, that you would, before you go any further with

your panegyrics on the fair-fex, give them fome lectures upon their filly ap probations. It is that I am weary of vice, and that it was not my natural way, that I am now fo far recovered as not to bring this believing dear creature to contempt and poverty for her gene. rofity to me. At the fame time tell the youth of good education of our sex, that they take too little care of improving theinfelves in little things; a good air at entering into a room, a proper audacity in expreffing himself with gaiety and gracefulness, would make a young gentleman of virtue and fenfe capable of discountenancing the fhallow impudent rogues that thine among the women.

Mr. Spectator, I do not doubt but you are a very fagacious perfon, but you are fo great with Tully of late, that I fear you will contemn these things as matters of no confequence: but believe me, Sir, they are of the highest importance to human life; and if you can do any thing towards opening fair eyes, you will lay an obligation upon all your contemporaries who are fathers, hufbands, or brothers to females. Your molt affectionate humble fervant,

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N° CLV. TUESDAY,
TUESDAY, AUGUST 28.

HE NUGE SEAIA DUCUNT

IN MALA

HOR. ARS POET. V. 451.

THESE THINGS, WHICH NOW SEEM FRIVOLOUS AND SLIGHT, WILL PROVE OF SERIOUS CONSEQUENCE.

Have more than once taken notice of an indecent licence taken in difcourie, wherein the converfation on one part is involuntary, and the effect of feine neceflary circumftances. This happens in travelling together in the fame hired coach, fitting near each other in any public affembly, or the like. I have, upon making obfervations of this fort, received innumerable moflages from that part of the fair-fex whole lot in life is to be of any trade or public way of life, They are all to a woman urgent with me to lay before the world the unhappy circumftances they are under, from the unreasonable libcity which is taken in their prefence, to talk on what fubject it is thought fit by every coxcomb who

ROSCOMMON.

wants understanding or breeding. One or two of thefe complaints I hall let down.

MR. SPECTATOR,

Keep a coffee-houfe, and am one of

thofe whom you have thought fit to mention as an idol fome time ago. I fuffered a good deal of raillery upon that occafion; but fhall heartily forgive you, who are the caule of it, if you will do me juttice in another point. What I afk of you is, to acquaint my customers, who are otherwife very good ones, that I am unavoidably hafped in my bar, and cannot help hearing the improper difcourfes they are pleafed to entertain me with. They five who fhall fay

the

the most immodeft things in my hearing. At the fame time half a dozen of them loll at the bar ftaring just m my face, ready to interpret my looks and gestures according to their own imaginations. In this paffive condition I know not where to cat my eyes, place my hands, or what to employ myself in: but this confufion is to be a jeft, and I hear them fay in the end, with an infipid air of mirth and fubtlety- Let her alone, the 'knows as well as we, for all the looks 'fo. Good Mr. Spectator, perfuade gentlemen that it is out of all decency: fay it is poffible a woman may be modait and yet keep a public-houfe. Be pleafed to argue, that in truth the affront is the more unpardonable because I am obliged to fuffer it, and cannot fly from it. I do affure you, Sir, the chearfulnefs of life which would arife from the honest gain I have, is utterly loft to me, from the endless, flat, impertinent pleafantries which I hear from morning to night. In a word, it is too much for me to bear; and I defire you to acquaint them, that I will keep pen and ink at the bar, and write down all they fay to me, and fend it to you for the prefs. It is poffible when they fee how empty what they speak, without the advantage of an impudent countenance and geiture, will appear, they may come to fome fenfe of themselves, and the infults they are guilty of towards me. I am, Sir, your mott humble fervant,

THE IDOL.

This reprefentation is fo juft, that it is hard to speak of it without an indig nation which perhaps would appear too elevated to fuch as can be guilty of this inhuman treatment, where they fee they affront a modelt, plain, and ingenuous behaviour. This correfpondent is not the only fufferer in this kind, for I have long letters both from the Royal and New Exchange on the fame fubject. They tell me that a young fop cannot buy a pair of gloves, but he is at the fame time training for fome ingenious ribaldry to fay to the young woman who helps them on. It is no fmall addition to the calamity, that the rogues buy as hard as the plainest and modefteft cuftomers they have; befides which, they Joll upon their counters half an hour longer than they need, to drive away other customers, who are to fhare their impertinences with the milliner, or go

to another fhop. Letters from 'Change Alley are full of the fame evil, and the girls tell me except I can chafe fome eminent merchants from their fhops they fhall in a fhort time fail. It is very unaccountable, that men can have fo little deference to all mankind who pass by them, as to bear being feen toying by two's and three's at a time, with no other purpofe but to appear gay enough to keep up a light converfation of common place jefts, to the injury of her whofe credit is certainly hurt by it, though their own may be strong enough to bear

it. When we come to have exact accounts of these converfations, it is not to be doubted but that their difcourfes will raife the ufual ftile of buying and felling: inftead of the plain downright lying, and afking and bidding fo unequally to what they will really give and take, we may hope to have from thefe fine folks an exchange of compliments. There mult certainly be a great deal of pleafant difference between the commerce of lovers, and that of all other dealers, who are, in a kind, adverfaries. A fealed bond, or a bank-note, would be a pretty gallantry to convey unseen into the hands of one whom a director is charmed with; otherwise the cityloiterers are ftill more unreasonable than thofe at the other end of the town: at the New Exchange they are eloquent for want of cash, but in the city they ought with cafh to fupply their want of eloquence.

If one might be ferious on this prevailing folly, one might obferve, that it is a melancholy thing, when the world is mercenary even to the buying and felling our very perfons; that young women, though they have never so great attractions from nature, are never the nearer being happily difpofed of in marriage; I fay, it is very hard under this neceffity, it shall not be poffible for them to go into a way of trade for their maintenance, but their very excellencies and perfonal perfections fhall be a difadvantage to them, and fubje&t them to be treated as if they stood there to fell their perfons to profitution. There cannot be a more melancholy circumftance to one who has made any obfèrvation in the world, than one of thofe erring creatures exposed to bankruptcy. When that happens, none of these toying fools will do any more than any other man they meet to preferve her from infamy,

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infult,

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