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Talking, laughing, eating and quaffing,
The bottles stood no moment still; They rallied Sam with joke and banter, And, as they drain’d the last decanter,
Call'd for the bill. 'Twas brought--when one of them who eyed And added up the items, cried,
“ Extremely moderate indeed! I'll make a point to recommend This inn to every travelling friend;
And you, Sam, shall be doubly feed.” This said, a weighty purse he drew,
When his companion interposed,
Pray let your purse again be closed ;
any such insulting offer;
Indignant at the very proffer ;
My worthy fellows,” cried the third,
At your expense ? —’tis childish quite;
I claim this payment as my rightHere-how much is the money, Sam?” To this most rational proposal
The others gave such fierce negation, One might have fancied they were foes all,
So hot became the altercation, Each in his
money rattling, Insisting, arguing, and battling.
One of them cried at last" A truce !-
This point we will no longer moot; Wrangling for trifles is no use,
And thus we 'll finish the dispute.That we may settle what we three owe,
We'll blindfold Sam, and whichsoe'er
He catches of us first, shall bear
When the three knaves, I needn't say,
Slipp'd down the stairs, and stole away. Poor Sam continued hard at work;—.
Now o'er a chair he gets a fall ; Now floundering forward with a jerk,
He bobs his nose against the wall ; And now encouraged by a subtle
Fancy that they ’re near the door,
He jumps behind it to explore,
Than, pouncing on him like a bruin,
He almost shook him into ruin, And with a shout of laughter said
By gom, I have cotch'd thee now! so down With cash for all, and my half-crown.”
Off went the bandage, and his eyes
Seem'd to be goggling o'er his forehead,
While his mouth widen'd with a horrid
But this one thought my wrath assuages
Out of your wages!"
SIR GUY EVELING'S DREAM.
Extracted from an old Manuscript.
(This MS. which is without a Title-page, or other means of
ascertaining its date, appears to have been an Essay upon Sleep. The transcriber, besides modernizing the spelling throughout, and supplying one or two words which he could not decypher, has omitted some passages which descended into a tedious or indelicate minuteness.)
“ Now that we be upon this subject of dreams and apparitions, I may nohow forbear to mention that full strange and terrible one of Sir Guy Eveling, and the consequences tragical issuing therefrom; which do I the more willingly pen, forasmuch as the dismal tale was hushed and smothered up at the time by the great families with whom he was consanguined, people of worshipful regard and jeopardous power, whereby folks only whispered of the story in corners, and peradventure bruited about many things which were but
fond imaginings. How I learned the real sooth and verity of that awesome event, and came to be consulted thereupon, ye shall presently see, when I unfold to you that the Lady Rivers, the favourite sister of Sir Guy, then dwelt in the close of Westminster Abbey, in the next house to my own, which abutteth upon the great cloisters; who first being only a near neighbour, became at last a fast friend, and claimed my advisement in all that touched herself and that most unhappy gentleman her brother. Albeit my lips were vowed to a locked secrecy while she lived, yet can they now divulge what they have so long concealed; for that right worthy lady (whom God absolve!) having withdrawn to the Rookery, by Fountains Abbey in Yorkshire, did there erewhile give up the ghost in all godliness of faith and abundancy of hope.
“ Now wot ye well that Sir Guy had received a good and clerkly schooling at Oxenforde, and was well learned in all that doth beseem a gentleman; yet maugre this his knowledge, he was of a haute and orgulous stomach, that would not agnize the wisdom of beadsmen, nor even brook the tender counsellings of friends and kinsmen, whereby he waxed wild, and readily fell to mischief and riot, giving up his mornings to dicers, racqueters, and scatterlings, and casting away the night with ribalds, wasselers, and swinge-bucklers, when he was not worse bestowed (though better to his liking) with giglots and goldwasting wantons, upon whom he lavished his substance, and then betook himself to the dice to re
pair his fortune-for ever one wickedness begetteth another. In this evil wise did he live, reckless of reproof and deaf to fond entreatment, to the sore discomfort and aggrieving of all his honourable house: howbeit that few now took busy concernment about him, except the Lady Rivers, who did often, with all the compassment of wit and loving-kindness of heart, beseech him to abandon the crafty mermaids and chamberers with whom he consorted, and choose some chaste and discreet mate, so to establish himself in such a goodly household as became his ancestry. Verily, Alice, (would he say), if ye any thing earthly regard, I do entreat ye forbear this manner of speech, which nought availeth thee to utter, and irketh me to hear, for I will not quit my ronyons and bonarobas till it pleaseth me of my own free will; and for a wife, never have I yet seen the eyes
that could bribe me to put the neck of my liberty into the collar of a wedding-ring. And therewithal he again plunged into his riotous and deboshed courses.
“ It chanced once, that returning home from a wild revel, as the sun was dawning and the apprentices afoot, he betook himself to his lodging at the Flower-delùce, next to the French Embassador's, on the outside of Temple Bar, where, being heavy with his carouse, he cast himself upon his bed, in his cassock as he was, and forthwith fell asleep, as it is surmised, and had a troublous and astounding dream ; though he himself ever stoutly did maintain that being right well awake, and having just heard the Temple clock strike