Another, written November 6. 1727

Merciful Father, who never afflictest thy children, but for their own good, and with justice, over which thy mercy always prevaileth, either to turn them to repentance, or to punish them in the prefent life, in order to reward them in a better; take pity, we befeech thee, upon this thy poor afflicted fervant, languishing fo long and fo grievously under the weight of thy hand. Give her ftrength, O Lord, to fupport ber weakness; and patience to endure her pains, without repining at thy correction. Forgive every rafh and inconfiderate expreffion, which her anguish may at any time force from her tongue, while her heart continueth in an entire fubmiffion to thy will. Supprefs in her, O Lord, all eager defires of life, and leffen her fears of death, by infpiring into her an humble, yet affured hope of thy mercy. Give her a fincere repentance for all her tranfgreffions and omiffions, and a firm refolution to pass the remainder of her life in endeavouring, to her utmoft, to obferve all thy precepts. We befeech thee, likewife to compofe her thoughts; and preferve to her the use of her memory and reafon, during the course of her fickness. Give her a true conception of the vanity, folly, and infignificancy of all human things; and ftrengthen her fo as to beget in her a fincere love of thee in the midst of her fufferings. Accept, and impute all her good deeds, and forgive her all thofe offences against thee, which fhe hath fincerely repented of, or, through the frailty of memory, hath forgot. And now, O Lord, we turn to thee, in behalf of ourselves, and the reft of her forrowful friends. Let not our grief afflict her mind, and thereby have an ill effect on her present diftemper. Forgive the forrow or weakness of those among us, who fink under the grief and terror of lofing fo dear and ufeful a friend. Accept and pardon our most earnest prayers and wishes for her longer continuance in this evil world, to do what thou art pleased to

Mrs Johnfon, alias Stella, died on the 28th of January follow ing in the 44th year of her age.

call

call thy fervice, and is only her bounden duty; that fhe may be ftill a comfort to us, and to all others, who will want the benefit of her converfation, her advice, her good offices, or her charity. And fince thou haft promifed, that where two or three are gathered together in thy name, thou wilt be in the midst of them, to grant their request; O gracious Lord, grant to us who are here met in thy name, that thofe requests, which, in the utmost fincerity and earnestness of our hearts, we have now made in behalf of this thy diftreffed fervant, and of ourselves, may effectually be anfwered; through the merits of Jefus Christ our Lord. Amen.

A

BONS MOTS de STELLA.

Lady of my intimate acquaintance both in England and Ireland, in which laft kingdom fhe lived from the eighteenth year of her age, twenty-fix years, had the most and finest accomplishments of any perfon I ever knew of either fex. It was obferved by all her acquaintance, that fhe never failed in company to fay the best thing that was faid, whoever was by; yet her companions were ufually perfons of the beft understanding in the kingdom. Some of us, who were her nearest friends, lamented that we never wrote down her remarks, and what the French call bons mots. I will recollect as many as I can remember.

We were diverting ourf Ives at a play called What is it like? One perfon is to think, and the reft, without knowing the thing, to fay what it is like. The thing thought on was the spleen: fhe had faid it was like an oyfter; and gave her reafon immediately, because it is removed by taking steel inwardly.

Dr Sheridan, who fquandered more than he could afford, took out his purfe as he fat by the fire, and found it was very hot: fhe faid, the reason was, that his mo ney burnt in his pocket.

She called to her fervants to know what ill fmell was in the kitchen? they answered, they were making matches: Well, faid fhe, I have heard matches were

made

made in heaven; but, by the brimstone, one would think they were made in hell.

After he had been eating forme fweet thing, a little of it happened to ftick on her lips; a gentleman told her of it, and offered to lick it off; fhe faid, No, Sir, I thank you, I have a tongue of my own.

In the late king's time, a gentleman afked Jervas the painter, where he lived in London? he answered, Next door to the king, (for his houfe was near St. James's). The other wondering how that could be; she faid, You mistake Mr Jervas, for he only means next door to the fign of a king.

A gentleman who had been very filly and pert in her company, at laft began to grieve at remembering the lofs of a child lately dead. A bifhop fitting by comforted him, that he should be eafy, because the child was gone to heaven. No, my Lord, faid fhe, that is it which most grieves him, because he is fure never to see his child there.

Having feen fome letters writ by a king in a very large hand, and fome perfons wondering at them, the faid it confirmed the old faying, That kings had long bands.

Dr Sheridan, famous for punning, intending to fell a bargain, faid, he had made a very good pun. Somebody afked what it was? He anfwered, My a-. The other taking offence, she infifted the doctor was in the right ; for every knew that punning was his blind fide.

When he was extremely ill, her phyfician faid, Madam, you are near the bottom of the hill, but we will endeavour to get you up again. She answered, Doctor, 1 fear I fhall be out of breath before I get up to the top.

A dull perfon talking of a very smart thing faid to another perfon as he came out of the pulpit, he was hammering a long time, but could not remember the jest: fhe being impatient, faid, I remember it very well, for I was there, and the words were thefe: Sir, you have been blundering at a story this half-hour, and can neither make head nor tail of it.

A very dirty clergyman of her acquaintance, who affected smartness and repartee, was afked by fome of the company, how his nails came to be fo dirty? He was

at

at a lofs; but fhe folved the difficulty, by faying, The Doctor's nails grew dirty by fcratching himself.

A Quaker apothecary fent her a vial corked; it had a broad brim, and a label of paper about its neck. What is that, faid fhe, my apothecary's fon? The ridiculous resemblance, and the fuddennefs of the question, let us all a laughing.

THOUGHTS ON VARIOUS SUBJECTS *.

L

AWS penned with the utmost care and exactness, and in the vulgar language, are often perverted to wrong meanings; then why fhould we wonder that the Bible is fo?

Although men are accused for not knowing their weakness, yet perhaps as few know their own ftrength.

A man feeing a wafp creeping into a vial filled with honey, that was hung on a fruit-tree, faid thus: Why, thou fottish animal, art thou mad to go into the vial, where you fee many hundred of your kind there dying before you? The reproach is juft, anfwered the wafp: but not from you men, who are fo far from taking example by other people's follies, that you will not take warning by your own. If, after falling feveral times into this vial, and escaping by chance, I should fall in again, I should then but refemble you.

An old mifer kept a tame jackdaw, that used to steal pieces of money, and hide them in a hole; which the cat obferving, afked, why he would heard up thofe round fhining things that he could make no ufe of? Why, faid the jack daw, my mafter has a whole cheftful, and makes no more ufe of them than I.

Men are contented to be laughed at for their wit, but not for their folly.

If the men of wit and genius would refolve never to complain in their works of critics and detractors, the next age would not know that they ever had any.

*Thefe Thoughts, and the Bons mots de Stella, feem to be part of Sheridan's collection of Contes à rire, and Bons mots, mentioned in letter 128.

After

After all the maxims and fyftems of trade and com merce, a stander-by would think the affairs of the world were most ridiculoufly contrived.

There are few countries, which, if well cultivated, would not fupport double the number of their inhabitants, and yet fewer, where one third part of the people are not extremely ftinted, even in the neceffaries of life. 1 fend out twenty barrels of corn, which would maintain a family in bread for a year, and I bring back in return a veffel of wine, which half a dozen good fellows would drink in lefs than a month, at the expence of their health and reafon.

A motto for the Jefuits :

Que regio in terris noftri non plena laboris ?

A man would have but few fpectators, if he offered to fhew for three pence how he could thrust a red hot iron into a barrel of gunpowder, and it fhould not take fire*. Query. Whether churches are not dormitories of the living as well as of the dead?

Harry Killegrew faid to Lord Wharton, "You "would not fwear at that rate, if you thought you were doing God honour."

A copy of verfes kept in the cabinet, and only fhewn to a few friends, is like a virgin much fought after and admired; but when printed and publifhed, is like a common whore, whom any body may purchase for half a

crown.

Lewis XIV. of France spent his life in turning a good name into a great.

Since the union of divinity and humanity is the great article of our religion, it is odd to fee fome clergymen in their writings of divinity wholly devoid of humanity.

The Epicureans began to spread at Rome in the empire of Auguftus, as the Socinians, and even the Epicureans too, did in England towards the end of King Charles II.'s reign; which is reckoned, though very ab. furdly, our Auguftan age. They both feem to be corruptions occafioned by luxury and peace, and by polite nefs beginning to decline.

See The wonder of wonders, in vol. 4. p. 336.

Sometimes