Sudorifics in bed," exclaimed Will, "are humbugs! "I've enough of them there, without paying for drugs!" Will kicked out the Doctor:-but when ill indeed, "Look ye, landlord, I think," argued Will with a grin, That with honest intentions you first took me in: "But from the first night-and to say it I'm bold— I've been so very hot, that I'm sure I caught cold!" Quoth the landlord,-"Till now, I ne'er had a dispute; 66 The oven!!!" says Will;-says the host, "Why this passion? In that excellent bed died three people of fashion. Why so crusty, good sir?"-"Zounds!" cried Will in a taking. Who wouldn't be crusty, with half a year's baking?" Will paid for his rooms-cried the host, with a sneer, "Well, I see you've been going away half a year." 66 66 Friend, we can't well agree;-yet no quarrel" Will said: But I'd rather not perish, while you make your LOGIC; OR, THE BITER BIT. bread." COLMAN. AN Eton stripling, training for the law, "Well, Tom-the road,-what saw you worth discerning?"And how goes study?-What is 't you 're learning?" "Oh! logic, sir; but not the shallow rules "Of Locke and Bacon, antiquated fools! " 'Tis wit, and wrangler's logic; thus, d'ye see 'I'll prove at once as plain as A, B, C, "That an eel pie 's a pigeon: To deny it, 'Would be to say black 's white!"-"Come, Tom, let 's try it.". "An eel-pie is a pie of fish!" "Agreed." "Fish-pie may be a Jack-pie!" "Well, proceed." "A Jack-pie is a John-pie: and 'tis done; 66 'For every John-pie must be a pie-John! (pigeon.)" "That beats my grandmother, and she was clever! "And there I'll give thee "-"What?" "A chesnut horse!" To bed he went, and wept for downright sorrow, A fine horse-chesnut, in its prickly shell. แ 'There, Tom, take that.' "Well, sir, and what beside?" Why, since you 're booted, saddle it and ride. "Ride what?—A chesnut?" "Aye, come get across; "I tell you, Tom, that chesnut is a horse, 'And all the horse you'll get; for I can shew, "As clear as sunshine, that 'tis really so; "Not by the musty fusty worn-out rules "Of Locke and Bacon,-addle-headed fools! Nor by old Aristotle's guide to knowledge, ANON. MR. BARNEY MAGUIRE'S ACCOUNT OF THE CORONATION OF QUEEN VIctoria. Extracted by permission of R. Bentley, Esq., from the "Ingoldsby Legends." ОCH the coronation! what celebration And the lords and ladies, and the Miss O'Grady's, To see how asy bould Corporal Casey, With his sword drawn, prancing, made them kape the line, "Twould have made you crazy to see Esterhazy All jools from his jasey to his diamond boots, With Alderman Harmer and that swate charmer, The famale heiress, Miss Anjaly Coutts. And Wellington walking, with his sword drawn, talking They called him Soult before he changed his name, The Queen, the darling, to her royal chair, Then Misthur Spaker, with Misthur Pays, the Quaker, But Lord Brougham was missing, and gone a fishing, There was Baron Alten himself exalting, And Prince Von Swartzenburg, and many more; To tell the half of them was to the fore! With the swate peeresses, in their crowns and dresses, But Mehemet Ali said, quite gentaly, I'd be proud to see the likes among the Turks ;" Then the Queen, heaven bless her! Och they did dress her In her purple garments and her golden crown, Like Venus or Hebe, or the Queen of Sheby, With eight young ladies holding up her gown. Then the Archbishop held a golden dish up, For to resave her bounty and great wealth, Saying, "Plase your glory, great Queen Vict-ory, You'll give the clergy lave to drink your health.* Then his Reverence, retrating, discoursed the mating, Boys, here's your Queen! deny it if you can! "And if any bould traitor, or infarior crathur, Sneezes at that, I'd like to see the man." Then the nobles kneeling, to the powers appealing, Then there was preaching, and good store of speaching, And they did splash her with raal maccasher, And the Queen said, "Oh! then thank ye all for me." Then the crames and custards, and the beef and mustard, All on the tombstones like a poulterer's shop; With lobsters and white bait, and other swate-meats, And wine and nagus, and imperial pop; There was cakes and apples in all the chapels ; With fine polonies and rich mellow pears. Och, the Count Von Shogonoff, sure he got prog enough, Then the cannons thunder'd, and the people wonder'd, Och! if myself should live to be a hundred, BARHAM, MRS. DOBBS AT HOME. (From "Gaieties and Gravities.") WHAT! shall the Morning Post proclaim How long they danced, till, sharp as hunters, They sat down to the feast from Gunter's; The hour of parting, half-past six ? |