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and slippery tenure in England, I shall tell | But it was remembered that she made the you, since the writing of that letter, I have, same excuse the year before. Upon which according to my promise, been at great the steward observed, that she might so pains in searching out the records of the contrive it, as never to do the service of black ram; and have at last met with the the manor. proceedings of the court-baron, held in that • The widow Fidget being cited into behalf, for the space of a whole day. The court, insisted that she had done no more record saith, that a strict inquisition having since the death of her husband than what been made into the right of the tenants to she used to do in his life time; and withal their several estates, by the crafty old desired Mr. Steward to consider his own steward, he found that many of the lands wife's case if he should chance to die beof the manor were, by default of the several fore her. widows, forfeited to the lord, and accord "The next in order was a dowager of a ingly would have entered on the premises: very corpulent make, who would have been upon which the good women demanded the excused, as not finding any ram that was “benefit of the ram.” The steward, after able to carry her: upon which the steward having perused their several pleas, adjourn-commuted her punishment, and ordered ed the court to Barnaby-bright,* that they her to make her entry upon a black ox. might have day enough before them. • The widow Maskwell, a woman who
The court being set, and filled with a had long lived with a most unblemished great concourse of people, who came from character, having turned off her old chamall parts to see the solemnity; the first who ber-maid in a pet, was by that revengeful entered was the widow Frontly, who had creature brought in upon the black ram made her appearance in the last year's nine times the same day: cavalcade. The register observes, that • Several widows of the neighbourhood, finding it an easy pad-ram, and foreseeing being brought upon their trial, showed that she might have farther occasion for it, she they did not hold of the manor, and were purchased it of the steward.
discharged accordingly. • Mrs. Sarah Dainty, relict of Mr. John • A pretty young creature, who closed Dainty, who was the greatest prude of the the procession, came ambling in with so beparish, came next in the procession. She at witching an air, that the steward was obfirst made some difficulty of taking the tail served to cast a sheep's eye upon her, and in her hand; and was observed, in pro- married her within a month after the death nouncing the form of penance, to soften the of his wife. two most emphatical words into clincum •N. B. Mrs. Touchwood appeared acclancum: but the steward took care to cording to summons, but had nothing laid make her speak plain English before he to her charge; having lived irreproachably would let her have her land again.
since the decease of her husband, who left • The third widow that was brought to her a widow in the sixty-ninth year of her this worldly shame, being mounted upon a age. I am, sir, &c.' vicious ram, had the misfortune to be thrown by him: upon which she hoped to be excused from going through the rest of No. 624.] Wednesday, November 24, 1714. the ceremony; but the steward, being well versed in the law, observed very wisely Audire, atque togam jubeo componere, quisquis
Ambitione mala, aut argenti pallet amore, upon this occasion, that breaking of the
Quisquis luxuriarope does not hinder the execution of the criminal.
Sit still, and hear, those whom proud thoughts do swell, • The fourth lady upon record was the Those that look pale by loving coin too well; widow Ogle, a famous coquette, who had Whom luxury corrupts. — Creech. kept half a score of young fellows off and MANKIND is divided into two parts, the on for the space of two years; but having busy and the idle. The busy world may been more kind to her carter John, she was be divided into the virtuous and the vicious. introduced with the huzzas of all her lovers / The vicious again into the covetous, the about her.
ambitious, and the sensual. The idle part • Mrs. Sable appearing in her weeds, of mankind are in a state inferior to any one which were very new and fresh, and of the of these. All the other are engaged in the same colour with her whimsical palfrey, pursuit of happiness, though often mismade a very decent figure in the solemnity placed, and are therefore more likely to be
Another, who had been summoned to attentive to such means as shall be proposed make her appearance, was excused by the to them for that end. The idle, who are steward, as well knowing in his heart that neither wise for this world nor the next, the good squire himself had qualified her are emphatically called by Dr. Tillotson, for the ram.
.fools at large.' They propose to themMrs. Quick, having nothing to object selves no end, but run adrift with every against the indictment, pleaded her belly. wind. Advice, therefore, would be but
thrown away upon them, since they would * Then the eleventh, now the twenty-second of June, scarce take the pains to read it. "I shall being the longest day in the year.
not fatigue any of this worthless tribe with
Hor. Sat. iii. Lib. 2. 77.
a long harangue; but will leave them with which are heavier in the balance. It may this short saying of Plato, that “labour is seem strange, at the first view, that the preferable to idleness, as brightness to rust.? men of pleasure should be advised to change
The pursuits of the active part of man- their course, because they lead a painful kind are either in the paths of religion and life. Yet when we see them so active and virtue; or, on the other hand, in the roads vigilant in quest of delight; under so many to wealth, honours, or pleasure. I shall, disquiets, and the sport of such various therefore, compare the pursuits of avarice, passions; let them answer, as they can, if ambition, and sensual delight with their op- the pains they undergo do not outweigh posite virtues; and shall consider which of their enjoyments. The infidelities on the these principles engages men in a course of one part between the two sexes, and the the greatest labour, suffering, and assiduity. caprices on the other, the debasement of Most men, in their cool reasonings, are reason, the pangs of expectation, the disapwilling to allow that a course of virtue will pointments in possession, the stings of rein the end be rewarded the most amply; morse, the vanities and vexations attending but represent the way to it as rugged and even the most refined delights that make
If, therefore, it can be made ap- up this business of life, render it so silly pear, that men struggle through as many and uncomfortable, that no man is thought Troubles to be miserable, as they do to be wise until he hath got over it, or happy, happy, my readers may, perhaps, be per- but in proportion as he hath cleared himself suaded to be good, when they find they from it. shall lose nothing by it.
The sum of all is this. Man is made an First, for avarice. The miser is more active being. Whether he walks in the industrious than the saint: the pains of get- paths of virtue or vice, he is sure to meet ting, the fears of losing, and the inability of with many difficulties to prove his patience enjoying his wealth, have been the mark and excite his industry. The same, if not of satire in all ages. Were his repentance greater labour, is required in the service upon his neglect of a good bargain, his sor- of vice and folly as of virtue and wisdom: row for being over-reached, his hope of and he hath this easy choice left him--wheimproving a sum, and his fear of falling into ther, with the strength he is master of, he want, directed to their proper objects, they will purchase happiness or repentance. would make so many different Christian graces and virtue. He may apply to him- No. 625.] Friday, November 26, 1714. self a great part of saint Paul's catalogue of sufferings. In journeying often: in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils
De tenero meditatur ungui.
Hor. Od. vi. Lib. 3. 23. among false brethren. In weariness and
Love, from her tender years, her thoughts employ'd. painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often.---At how much
THE love casuist hath referred to me the less expense might he ‘lay up to himself following letter of queries with his answer treasures in heaven!'Or, if I may in this to each question, for my approbation. I place be allowed to add the saying of a have accordingly considered the several great philosopher, he may provide such matters therein contained, and hereby conpossessions as fear neither arms, nor men,
firm and ratify his answers, and require the nor Jove himself.'
gentle querist to conform herself thereunto. In the second place, if we look upon the “SIR, ---I was thirteen the 9th of Novemtoils of ambition in the same light as we ber last, and must now begin to think of have considered those of avarice, we shall settling myself in the world; and so I would readily own that far less trouble is requisite humbly beg your advice, what I must do to gain lasting glory, than the power and with Mr. Fondle, who makes his addresses reputation of a few years; or, in other to me. He is a very pretty man, and hath words, we may with more ease deserve ho- the blackest eyes and whitest teeth you ever nour than obtain it. The ambitious man saw. Though he is but a younger brother, he should remember cardinal Wolsey's com- dresses like a man of quality, and nobody plaint, ‘Had I served God with the same comes into a room like him. I know he application wherewith I served my king, hath refused great offers, and if he cannot he would not have forsaken me in my old marry me, he will never have any body age.' The cardinal here softens his ambi- else. But my father hath forbid him the tion by the specious pretence of serving house, because he sent me a copy
of verses; his king;' whereas his words, in the pro- for he the greatest wits in town. per construction, imply, that, if instead of My eldest sister, who, with her good will, being acted* by ambition, he had been act would call me miss as long as I live, must ed by religion, he should now have felt the be married before me, they say. She tells comforts of it, when the whole world turned them that Mr. Fondle makes a fool of me, him.
and will spoil the child, as she calls me, Thirdly, let us compare the pains of the like a confident thing as she is. In short, i sensual with those of the virtuous, and see am resolved to marry Mr. Fondle, if it be
but to spite her. But because I would do nothing that is imprudent, I beg of you
its back upon
Ooid, Met. Lib. 4. 284.
give me your answers to some questions Il been an hour in the air. I love, if I may will write down, and desire you to get them so speak, to have it fresh from the tree; printed in the Spectator, and I do not doubt and to convey it to my friends before it is but you will give such advice as, I am sure, faded. Accordingly my expenses in coachI shall follow,
hire make no small article: which you may • When Mr. Fondle looks upon me for believe when I assure you, that I post away half an hour together, and calls me Angel, from coffee-house to coffee-house, and foreis he not in love?'
stall the Evening Post by two hours. There Answer. No.
is a certain gentleman, who hath given me . May not I be certain he will be a kind the slip twice or thrice, and hath been behusband, that has promised me half my forehand with me at Child's. But I have portion in pin-money, and to keep me a played him a trick. I have purchased a coach and six in the bargain.'
pair of the best coach-horses I could buy No.
for money, and now let him out-strip me if Whether I, who have been acquainted he can. Once more, Mr. Spectator, let with him this whole year almost, am not a me advise you to deal in news. better judge of his merit than my father depend upon my assistance. But I must and mother, who never heard him talk but break off abruptly, for I have twenty letat table!'
ters to write. Your's in haste, No.
•THO. QUID NUNC.' • Whether I am not old enough to choose for myself? o.
No. 626.] Monday, November 29, 1714, • Whether it would not have been rude
-Dulcique animos novitate tenebo. in me to refuse a lock of his hair?' No.
With sweet novelty your taste I'll please.-Eusden. *Should not I be a very barbarous creature, if I did not pity a man who is always man, consisting of extemporary specula
I HAVE seen a little work of a learned sighing for my sake? No.
tions, which owed their birth to the most •Whether you would not advise me to thod, was to write down any sudden start
trilling occurrences of life. His usual merun away with the poor man?' No.
of thought which arose in his mind upon . Whether you do not think, that if I will
the sight of any odd gesticulation in a man, not have him, he will drown himself ?'
any whimsical mimickry of reason in a No.
beast, or whatever appeared remarkable in •What shall I say to him the next time able to moralize upon a snuff-box, would
any object of the visible creation. He was he asks me if I will marry him?' No.
flourish eloquently upon a tucker or a pair
of ruffles, and draw practical inferences The following letter requires neither in- from a full-bottomed perriwig. This I troduction nor answer.
thought fit to mention, by way of excuse, • MR. SPECTATOR, I wonder that, in for my ingenious correspondent, who hath the present situation of affairs, you can take introduced the following letter by an image pleasure in writing any thing but news; for, which, I will beg leave to tell him, is too riin a word, who minds any thing else? The diculous in so serious and noble a speculation. pleasure of increasing knowledge, and • MR. SPECTATOR,—When I have seen learning something new every hour of life, young puss playing her wanton gambols, is the noblest entertainment of a rational and with a thousand antic shapes express creature. I have a very good ear for a se- her own gayety at the same time that she cret, and am naturally of a communicative moved mine, while the old grannum hath temper; by which means I am capable of sat by with the most exemplary gravity, doing you great services in this way. In or- unmoved at all that passed; it hath made der to make myself useful, I am early in me reflect what should be the occasion of the anti-chamber, where I thrust my head humours so opposite in two creatures, beinto the thick of the press, and catch the tween whom there was no visible difference news at the opening of the door, while it is but that of age; and I have been able to rewarm. Sometimes I stand by the beef- solve it into nothing else but the force of noeaters, and take the buz as it passes by me. velty. At other times I lay my ear close to the • In every species of creatures, those who wall, and suck in many a valuable whisper, have been least time in the world appear as it runs in a straight line from corner to best pleased with their condition; for, becorner. When I am weary with standing, sides that to a new comer the world hath I repair to one of the neighbouring coffee- a freshness on it that strikes the sense after houses, where I sit sometimes for a whole a most agreeable manner, being itself unatday, and have the news as it comes from tended with any great variety of enjoycourt fresh and fresh. In short, sir, I spare ments, excites a sensation of pleasure: but, no pains to know how the world goes. A as age advances, every thing seems to wither, piece of news loses its flavour when it hath the senses are disgusted with their old en
tertainments, and existence turns flat and what doth honour to these glorified spirits; insipid. We may see this exemplified in provided still it be remembered, that their mankind. The child, let him be free from desire of more proceeds not from their dispain, and gratified in his change of toys, is relishing what they possess; and the pleadiverted with the smallest trifle. Nothing sure of a new enjoyment is not with them disturbs the mirth of the boy but a little measured by its novelty, (which is a thing punishment or confinement. The youth merely foreign and accidental) but by its must have more violent pleasures to employ real intrinsic value. After an acquaintance his time. The man loves the hurry of an of many thousand years with the works of active life, devoted to the pursuits of wealth God, the beauty and magnificence of the or ambition. And, lastly, old age, having creation fills them with the same pleasing lost its capacity for these avocations, be- wonder and profound awe, which Adam comes its own unsupportable burden. This felt himself seized with as he first opened variety may in part be accounted for by the his eyes upon this glorious scene. Truth vivacity and decay of the faculties; but I captivates with unborrowed charms, and believe is chiefly owing to this, that the whatever hath once given satisfaction will longer we have been in possession of being, always do it. In all which they have manithe less sensible is the gust we have of it; festlý the advantage of us, who are so much and the more it requires of adventitious governed by sickly and changeable appeamusements to relieve us from the satiety tites, that we can with the greatest coldness and weariness it brings along with it. behold the stupendous displays of Omnipo
And as novelty is of a very powerful, so tence, and be in transports at the puny it is of a most extensive influence. Moral- essays of human skill; throw aside speculaists have long since observed it to be the tions of the sublimest nature and vastest source of admiration, which lessens in pro- importance into some obscure corner of the portion to our familiarity with objects, and mind, to make room for new notions of no upon a thorough acquaintance is utterly ex- consequence at all; are even tired of health, tinguished. But I think it hath not been so because not enlivened with alternate pain; commonly remarked, that all the other pas- and prefer the first reading of an indifferent sions depend considerably on the same cir- author to the second or third perusal of one cumstance. What is it but novelty that whose merit and reputation are established. awakens desire, enhances delight, kindles "Our being thus formed serves many anger, provokes envy, inspires horror? To useful purposes in the present state. It this cause we must ascribe it, that love lan- contributes not a little to the advancement guishes with fruition, and friendship itself of learning; for, as Cicero takes notice, that is recommended by intervals of absence: which makes men willing to undergo the hence, monsters, by use, are beheld with- fatigues of philosophical disquisitions, is not out loathing, and the most enchanting beauty so much the greatness of objects as their without rapture. That emotion of the spi- novelty. It is not enough that there is field rits, in which passion consists, is usually and game for the chase, and that the unthe effect of surprise, and, as long as it con- derstanding is prompted with a restless tinues, heightens the agreeable or disagree- thirst of knowledge, effectually to rouse the able qualities of its object; but as this emo- soul, sunk into a state of sloth and indolence; tion ceases, (and it ceases with the novelty) it is also necessary that there be an uncomthings appear in another light, and affect mon pleasure annexed to the first appearus even less than might be expected from ance of truth in the mind. This pleasure their proper energy, for having moved us being exquisite for the time it lasts, but too much before.
transient, it hereby comes to pass that the • It may not be a useless inquiry, how mind grows into an indifference to its former far the love of novelty is the unavoidable notions, and passes on after new discoveries, growth of nature, and in what respects it is in hope of repeating the delight. It is with peculiarly adapted to the present state. To knowledge as with wealth, the pleasure of me it seems impossible, that a reasonable which lies more in making endless additions creature should rest absolutely satisfied in than in taking a review of our old store. any acquisitions whatever, without endea- There are some inconveniences that follow vouring farther; for, after its highest im- this temper, if not guarded against, parprovements, the mind hath an idea of an ticularly this, that through too great an infinity of things still behind, worth know- eagerness of something new, we are many ing, to the knowledge of which therefore it times impatient of staying long enough upon cannot be indifferent; as by climbing up a a question that requires some time to rehill in the midst of a wide plain, a man hath solve it; or, which is worse, persuade ourhis prospect enlarged, and together with selves that we are masters of the subject that, the bounds of his desires. Upon this before we are so, only to be at the liberty account, I cannot think he detracts from of going upon a fresh scent: in Mr. Locke's the state of the blessed, who conceives them words, “We see a little, presume a great to be perpetually employed in fresh searches deal, and so jump to the conclusion.' into nature, and to eternity advancing into • A farther advantage of our inclination the fathomless depths of the divine perfec- for novelty, as at present circumstantiated, tions. In this thought there is nothing but is, that it annihilates all the boasted disting
tions among mankind. Look not up with | by walking too late in a dewy evening envy to those above thee! Sounding titles, amongst his reapers. I must inform you stately buildings, fine gardens, gilded cha- that his greatest pleasure was in husbandry riots, rich equipages, what are they? They and gardening. He had some humours dazzle every one but the possessor: to him which seemed inconsistent with that good that is accustomed to them they are cheap sense he was otherwise master of. His unand regardless things; they supply him not easiness in the company of women was very with brighter images, or more sublime satis remarkable in a man of such perfect goodfactions, than the plain man may have, breeding; and his avoiding one particular whose small estate will just enable him to walk in his garden, where he had used to support the charge of a simple unencum- pass the greatest part of his time, raised bered life. He enters heedless into his abundance of idle conjectures in the village rooms of state, as you or I do under our where he lived. Upon looking over his papoor sheds. The noble paintings and costly pers we found out the reason, which he furniture are lost on him; he sees them not; never intimated to his nearest friends. He as how can it be otherwise, when by cus- was, it seems, a passionate lover in his tom a fabric infinitely more grand and youth, of which a large parcel of letters he finished, that of the universe, stands unob- Icft behind him are a witness. I send you a served by the inhabitants, and the everlast- copy of the last he ever wrote upon that ing lamps of heaven are lighted up in vain, subject, by which you will find that he confor any notice that mortals take of them? cealed the true name of his mistress under Thanks to indulgent nature, which not only that of Zelinda. placed her children originally upon a level, “A long month's absence would be inbut still, by the strength of this principle, supportable to me, if the business I am emin a great measure preserves it, in spite of ployed in were not for the service of my all the care of man to introduce artificial Zelinda, and of such a nature as to place distinctions.
her every moment in my mind. I have fur• To add no more—is not this fondness for nished the house exactly according to your novelty, which makes us out of conceit with fancy, or, if you please, my own; for I have all we already have, a convincing proof of a long since learned to like nothing but what future state? Either man was made in vain, you do. The apartment designed for your or this is not the only world he was made use is so exact a copy of that which you for: for there cannot be a greater instance live in, that I often think myself in your of vanity than that to which man is liable, house when I step into it, but sigh when I to be deluded from the cradle to the grave find it without its proper inhabitant. You with fleeting shadows of happiness. His will have the most delicious prospect from pleasures, and those not considerable nei- your closet window that England affords: I ther, die in the possession, and fresh enjoy- am sure I should think it so, if the landscape ments do not rise fast enough to fill up half that shows such variety did not at the same his life with satisfaction. When I see per- time suggest to me the greatness of the sons sick of themselves any longer than they space that lies between us. are called away by something that is of The gardens are laid out very beautiforce to chain down the present thought; fully; I have dressed up every hedge in when I see them hurry from country to woodbines, sprinkled bowers and arbours town, and then from the town back again in every corner, and made a little paradise into the country, continually shifting pos- around me: yet I am still like the first man tures, and placing life in all the different in his solitude, but half blessed without a lights they can think of; “Surely,” say I partner in my happiness. I have directed to myself, “ life is vain, and the man be- one walk to be made for two persons, where yond'expression stupid, or prejudiced, who I promise ten thousand satisfactions to myfrom the vanity of life cannot gather that self in your conversation. I already take he is designed for immortality.”
my evening's turn in it, and have worn a path upon the edge of this little alley, while
I soothed myself with the thought of your No. 627.] Wednesday, December 1, 1714. walking by my side. I have held many Tantum inter densas umbrosa cacumina fagos
imaginary discourses with you in this reAssidue veniebat; ibi hæc incondita solus
tirement; and when I have been weary, Montibus et sylvis studio jactabat inani.
have sat down with you in the midst of a Virg. Ecl. ii. 3.
row of jessamines. The many expressions He, underneath the beaten shade, alone,
of joy and rapture I use in these silent conThus to the woods and mountains made his moan.
versations have made me, for some time,
the talk of the parish; but a neighbouring The following account, which came to young fellow, who makes love to the farmy hands some time ago, may be no dis-mer's daughter, hath found me out, and agreeable entertainment to such of my made my case known to the whole neighreaders as have tender hearts, and nothing bourhood. to do.
"In planting of the fruit trees, I have MR. SPECTATOR,—A friend of mine not forgot the peach you are so fond of. I died of a fever last week, which he caught have made a walk of elms along the river