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but little to her. Her women will repre
London, Nov. 1712. sent to me that she is inconsolable by reason • MR. SPECTATOR,-- You are always of my unkindness, and beg me with tears ready to receive any useful hint or propoto caress her, and let her sit down by me; sal, and such, I believe, you will think one but I shall still remain inexorable, and will that may put you in a way to employ the turn my back upon her all the first night. most idle part of the kingdom: I mean that Her mother will then come and bring her part of mankind who are known by the daughter to me, as I am seated upon my name of the women's men, or beaux, &c. sofa. The daughter, with tears in her eyes, Mr. Spectator, you are sensible these pretty will Aling herself at my feet, and beg of me gentlemen are not made for any manly emto receive her into my favour. Then will ployments, and for want of business are I, to imprint in her a thorough veneration often as much in the vapours as the ladies. for my person, draw up my legs and spurn Now what I propose is this, that since her from me with my foot, in such a man- knotting is again in fashion, which has been ner that she shall fall down several paces found a very pretty amusement, that you from the sofa.'
will recommend it to these gentlemen as Alnaschar was entirely swallowed up in something that may make them useful to this chimerical vision, and could not forbear the ladies they admire. And since it is not acting with his foot what he had in his inconsistent with any game, or other diverthoughts; so that unluckily striking his sion, for it may be done in the play-house, basket of brittle ware, which was the foun- in their coaches, at the tea-table, and in dation of all his grandeur, he kicked his short, in all places where they come for glasses to a great distance from him into the sake of the ladies, (except at church; the street, and broke them into ten thou- be pleased to forbid it there to prevent sand pieces.
O. mistakes,) it will be easily complied with.
It is besides an employment that allows, as
we see by the fair-sex, of many graces, No. 536.] Friday, November 14, 1712.
which will make the beaux more readily
come into it; it shows a white hand and a O Veræ Phrygiæ, neque enim Phryges!
diamond ring to great advantage; it leaves Virg. n. ix. 617.
the eyes at full liberty to be employed as 0! less than women in the shapes of men! before, as also the thoughts and the tongue.
In short, it seems in every respect so proAs I was the other day standing in my per, that it is needless toʻurge it farther, bookseller's shop, a pretty young thing; by speaking of the satisfaction these male about eighteen years of age, stepped out of knotters will find, when they see their work her coach, and, brushing by me, beckoned mixed up in a fringe, and worn by the fair the man of the shop to the farther end of lady for whom and with whom it was done. his counter, where she whispered some- Truly, Mr. Spectator, I cannot but be thing to him, with an attentive look, and at pleased I have hit upon something that the same time presented him with a letter: these gentlemen are capable of; for it is sad after which, pressing the end of her fan so considerable a part of the kingdom (I upon his hand, she delivered the remaining mean for numbers,) should be of no manpart of her message, and withdrew. I ob- ner of use. I shall not trouble you farther served, in the midst of her discourse, that at this time, but only to say, that I am she flushed and cast an eye upon me over always your reader, and generally your her shoulder, having been informed by my admirer.
C. B. bookseller that I was the man with the short face whom she had so often read of.
*P. S. The sooner these fine gentlemen Upon her passing by me, the pretty bloom- are set to work the better; there being at ing creature smiled in my face, and drop- this time several fine fringes, that stay only ped me a courtesy. She scarce gave me
for more hands.' time to return her salute, before she quitted I shall in the next place present my the shop with an easy scuttle, and stepped reader with the description of a set of men again into her coach, giving the footmen who are common enough in the world, directions to drive where they were bid, though I do not remember that I have yet Upon her departure, my bookseller gave taken notice of them, as they are drawn in me a letter superscribed, “To the ingenious the following letter. Spectator,' which the young lady had desired him to deliver into my own hands, •MR. SPECTATOR,-Since you have lateand to tell me, that the speedy publication !y, to so good purpose, enlarged upon conof it would not only oblige herself but a jugal love, it is to be hoped you will diswhole tea-table of my friends. I opened it courage every practice that rather proceeds therefore with a resolution to publish it, from a regard to interest than to happiness. whatever it should contain, and am sure Now you cannot but observe, that most of if any of my male readers will be so se- our fine young ladies readily fall in with verely critical as not to like it, they would the direction of the graver 'sort, to retain have been as well pleased with it as myself, in their service, by some small encouragehad they seen the face of the pretty scribe. I ment, as great a number as they can of
supernumerary and insignificant fellows, pectations they were born: that by conwhich they use like whifflers, and com- sidering what is worthy of them, they may monly call “shoeing-horns.”—These are be withdrawn from mean pursuits, and ennever designed to know the length of the couraged to laudable undertakings. This foot, but only, when a good offer comes, to is turning nobility into a principle of virtue, whet and spur him up to the point. Nay, and making it productive of merit, as it is it is the opinion of that grave lady, madam understood to have been originally a reward Matchwell, that it is absolutely convenient of it. for every prudent family to have several of • It is for the like reason, I imagine, that these implements about the house to clap you have in some of your speculations ason as occasion serves; and that every spark serted to your readers the dignity of human ought to produce a certificate of his being nature. But you cannot be insensible that a shoeing-horn before he be admitted as a this is a controverted doctrine; there are shoe. A certain lady whom I could name, authors who consider human nature in a if it was necessary, has at present more very different view, and books of maxims shoeing-horns of all sizes, countries, and have been written to show the falsity of all colours in her service, than ever she had human virtues. * The reflections which are new shoes in her life. I have known a wo- made on this subject usually take some man make use of a shoeing-horn for several tincture from the tempers and characters years, and finding him unsuccessful in that of those that make them. Politicians can function, convert him at length into a shoe. resolve the most shining actions among men I am mistaken if your friend, Mr. William into artifice and design; others, who are Honeycomb, was not a cast shoeing-horn soured by discontent, repulses, or ill-usage, before his late marriage. As for myself, I are apt to mistake their spleen for philosomust frankly declare to you, that I have phy; men of profligate lives, and such as been an errant shoeing-horn for above these find themselves incapable of rising to any twenty years. I served my first mistress in distinction among their fellow-creatures, that capacity above five of the number, be- are for pulling down all appearances of fore she was shod. I confess, though she had merit which seem to upbraid them; and many who made their application to her, I satirists describe nothing but deformity. always thought myself the best shoe in her From all these hands we have such draughts shop; and it was not until a month before of mankind, as are represented in those her marriage that I discovered what I was. burlesque pictures which the Italians call
This had like to have broke my heart, caricaturas; where the art consists in preand raised such suspicions in me, that I told serving, amidst distorted proportions and the next I made love to, upon receiving aggravated features, some likeness of the some unkind usage from her, that I began person, but in such a manner as to transform to look upon myself as no more than her the most agreeable beauty into the most shoeing-horn. Upon which, my dear, who odious monster. was a coquette in her nature, told me I was It is very disingenuous to level the best hypochondriacal, and I might as well look of mankind with the worst, and for the upon myself to be an egg, or a pipkin. But faults of particulars to degrade the whole in a very short time after she gave me to species. Such methods tend not only to know that I was not mistaken in myself. It remove a man's good opinion of others, but would be tedious to you to recount the life to destroy that reverence for himself, which of an unfortunate shoeing-horn, or I might is a great guard of innocence, and a spring entertain you with a very long and melan- of virtue. choly relation of my sufferings.
Upon the • It is true indeed, that there are surprise whole, I think, sir, it would very well be- ing mixtures of beauty and deformity, of come a man in your post, to determine in wisdom and folly, virtue and vice, in the what cases a woman may be allowed with human make: such a disparity is found honour to make use of a shoeing-horn, as among numbers of the same kind; and also to declare whether a maid on this side every individual in some instances, or at five-and-twenty, or a widow, who has not some times, is so unequal to himself, that been three years in that state, may be man seems to be the most wavering and granted such a privilege, with other diffi- inconsistent being in the whole creation. culties which will naturally occur to you So that the question in morality concerning upon that subject. I am, sir, with the most the dignity of our nature may at first sight profound veneration, yours, &c.' O. appear like some difficult questions in natu
ral philosophy, in which the arguments an
both sides seem to be of equal strength. No. 537.] Saturday, November 15, 1712. But, as I began with considering this point
as it relates to action, I shall here borrow For we are his offspring.
Acts xvii. 28.
an admirable reflection from monsieur
Paschal, which I think sets it in its proper • To the Spectator.
light. “SIR,-It has been usual to remind persons of rank, on great occasions in life, of
* This is an allusion to the Reflections et Masines their race and quality, and to what ex- | Morales de M. le Duc de la Rochefoucault.
Τον μεν γαργινος εσμεν,
“ It is of dangerous consequence," says the soul while in a mortal body lives, but he, “ to represent to man how near he is to when departed out of it dies: or that its the level of beasts, without showing him at consciousness is lost when it is discharged the same time his greatness. It is likewise out of an unconscious habitation. But when dangerous to let him see his greatness with it is freed from all corporeal alliance, then out his meanness. It is more dangerous yet it truly exists. Farther, since the human to leave him ignorant of either; but very frame is broken by death, tell us what bebeneficial that he should be made sensible comes of its parts. It is visible whether the of both.” Whatever imperfections we may materials of other beings are translated; have in our nature, it is the business of re- namely, to the source from whence they ligion and virtue to rectify them, as far as had their birth. The soul alone, neither is consistent with our present state. In the present nor departed, is the object of our mean time it is no small encouragement to eyes. generous minds to consider, that we shall ** Thus Cyrus. But to proceed:"No put them all off with our mortality. That one shall persuade me, Scipio, that your sublime manner of salutation with which worthy father or your grandfathers Paulus the Jews approach their kings,
and Africanus, or Africanus his father or "O king, live for ever?"
uncle, or many other excellent men whom
I need not name, performed so many acmay be addressed to the lowest and most tions to be remembered by posterity, withdespised mortal among us, under all the out being sensible that futurity was their infirmities and distresses with which we right. And, if I may be allowed an old see him surrounded. And whoever believes man's privilege so to speak of myself, do in the immortality of the soul, will not need you think I would have endured the fatigue a better argument for the dignity of his of so many wearisome days and nights, both nature, nor a stronger incitement to actions at home and abroad, if I imagined that the suitable to it.
same boundary which is set to my life must I am naturally led by this reflection to a terminate my glory? Were it not more desubject I have already touched upon in a sirable to have worn out my days in ease former letter, and cannot without pleasure and tranquillity, free from labour and withcall to mind the thought of Cicero to this out emulation? But, I know not how, my purpose, in the close of his book concerning soul has always raised itself, and looked old age. Every one who is acquainted with forward on futurity, in this view and exhis writings will remember that the elder pectation, that when it shall depart out of Cato is introduced in that discourse as the life it shall then live for ever; and if this speaker, and Scipio and Lelins as his audi- were not true, that the mind is immortal, tors. This venerable person is represented the soul of the most worthy would not, looking forward as it were from the verge above all others, have the strongest imof extreme old age into a future state, and pulse to glory. rising into a contemplation on the unperish “What besides this is the cause that the able part of his nature, and its existence wisest men die with the greatest equanimity, after death. I shall collect part of his dis- the ignorant with the greatest concern? course. And as you have formerly offered Does it not seem that those minds which some arguments for the soul's immortality, have the most extensive views foresee they agreeable both to reason and the Christian are removing to a happier condition, which doctrine, I believe your readers will not be those of a narrow sight do not perceive? I, displeased to see how the same great truth for my part, am transported with the hope shines in the pomp of Roman eloquence. of seeing your ancestors: whom I have ho
“This (says Cato) is my firm persuasion, noured and loved; and am earnestly desirous that since the human soul exerts itself with of meeting not only those excellent persons so great activity; since it has such a re- whom I have known, but those too of whom membrance of the past, such a concern for I have heard and read, and of whom I my, the future; since it is enriched with so many self have written; nor would I be detained arts, sciences, and discoveries; it is impos- from so pleasing a journey. O happy day, sible but the being which contains all these when I shall escape from this crowd, this must be immortal.”
heap of pollution, and be admitted to that • The elder Cyrus, just before his death, divine assembly of exalted spirits! when I is represented by Xenophon speaking after shall go not only to those great persons I this manner: “Think not, my dearest child have named, but to my Cato, my son, than dren, that when I depart from you I shall whom a better man was never born, and be no more: but remember, that my soul, whose funeral rites I myself performed, even while I lived among you, was invisible whereas he ought rather to have attended to you: yet by my actions you were sensible mine. Yet has not his soul deserted me, it existed in this body. Believe it therefore but, seeming to cast back a look on me, is existing still, though it be still unseen, How gone before to those habitations to which it quickly would the honours of illustrious was sensible I should follow him. And men perish after death, if their souls per- though I might appear to have borne my formed nothing to preserve their fame! loss with courage, I was not unaffected with For my own part, I never could think that lit; but I comforted myself in the assurance,
Hor. Sat. i. Lib. 2. 1.
that it would not be long before we should until we had worked up ourselves to such meet again and be divorced no more. I a pitch of complaisance, that when the am, sir, &c.'
dinner was to come in we inquired the name of every dish, and hoped it would be no offence to any in company, before it was
admitted. When we had sat down, this No. 538.] Monday, November 17, 1712. civility among us turned the discourse from
eatables to other sorts of aversions; and the eternal cat, which plagues every conversa
tion of this nature, began then to engross To launch beyond all bounds.
the subject. One had sweated at the sight
of it, another had smelled it out as it lay SURPRISE is so much the life of stories, concealed in a very distant cupboard; and that every one aims at it who endeavours to he who crowned the whole set of these please by telling them. Smooth delivery, stories, reckoned up the number of times an elegant choice of words, and a sweet ar- in which it had occasioned him to swoon rangement, are all beautifying graces, but away. At last,' says he, that you may not the particulars in this point of conversa- all be satisfied of my invincible aversion to tion which either long command the atten- a cat, I shall give an unanswerable instance. tion, or strike with the violence of a sudden As I was going through a street of London, passion, or occasion the burst of laughter where I never had been until then, I felt a which accompanies humour. I have some- general damp and faintness all over me, times fancied that the mind is in this case which I could not tell how to account for, like a traveller who sees a fine seat in haste; until I chanced to cast my eyes upwards, he acknowledges the delightfulness of a and found that I was passing under a walk set with regularity, but would be un- sign-post on which the picture of a cat was easy if he were obliged to pace it over, hung.' when the first view had let him into all its The extravagance of this turn in the way beauties from one end to the other. of surprise, gave a stop to the talk we had
However, a knowledge of the success been carrying on. Some were silent bewhich stories will have when they are at- cause they doubted, and others because tended with a turn of surprise, as it has they were conquered in their
own way; so happily made the characters of some, so that the gentleman had an opportunity to has it also been the ruin of the characters press the belief of it upon us, and let us see of others. There is a set of men who out- that he was rather exposing himself than rage truth, instead of affecting us with a ridiculing others. manner in telling it ; who overleap the line I must freely own that I did not all this of probability that they may be seen to move while disbelieve every thing that was said; out of the common road; and endeavour but yet I thought some in the company had only to make their hearers stare by impos- been endeavouring who should pitch the ing upon them with a kind of nonsense bar farthest; that it had for some time been against the philosophy of nature, or such a a measuring cast, and at last my friend of heap of wonders told upon their own know- the cat and sign-post had thrown beyond ledge, as it is not likely one man should them all. have ever met with.
I then considered the manner in which I have been led to this observation by a this story had been received, and the possicompany, into which I fell accidentally. bility that it might have passed for a jest The subject of antipathies was a proper upon others, if he had not laboured against field wherein such false surprisers might himself. From hence, thought I, there expatiate, and there were those present are two ways which the well-bred world who appeared very fond to show it in its generally takes to correct such a practice, full extent of traditional history. Some of when they do not think fit to contradict it them, in a learned manner, offered to our flatly. consideration the miraculous powers which The first of these is a general silence, the effluviums of cheese have over bodies which I would not advise any one to interwhose pores are disposed to receive them pret in his own behalf. It is often the effect in a noxious manner; others gave an ac- of prudence in avoiding a quarrel, when count of such who could indeed bear the they see another drive so fast that there is sight of cheese, but not the taste ; for which no stopping him without being run against; they brought a reason from the milk of and but very seldom the effect of weakness their nurses. Others again discoursed, in believing suddenly. The generality of without endeavouring at reasons, concern- mankind are not so grossly ignorant, as ing an unconquerable aversion which some some overbearing spirits would persuade stomachs have against a joint of meat when themselves; and if the authority of a chait is whole, and the eager inclination they racter or a caution against danger make us have for it when, by its being cut up, the suppress our opinions, yet neither of these shape which had affected them is altered. are of force enough to suppress our thoughts From hence they passed to eels,then to pars of them. If a man who has endeavoured nips, and so from one aversion to another, to amuse his company with improbabilities
could but look into their minds, he would others entertain concerning you. In short, find that they imagine he lightly esteems you are against yourself; the laugh of the of their sense when he thinks to impose company runs against you; the censuring upon them, and that he is less esteemed by world is obliged to you for that triumph them for his attempt in doing so. His en- which you have allowed them at your own deavour to glory at their expense becomes expense; and truth, which you have ina ground of quarrel, and the scorn and jured, has a near way of being revenged on indifference with which they entertain it you, when by the bare repetition of your begins the immediate punishment: and in- story you become a frequent diversion for deed (if we should even go no farther) the public. silence, or a negligent indifference, has a deeper way of wounding than opposition,
MR. SPECTATOR,—The other day, because opposition proceeds from an anger walking in Pancras church-yard, I thought that has a sort of generous sentiment for of your paper wherein you mention epic the adversary mingling along with it, while taphs, and am of opinion this has a thought it shows that there is some esteem in your in it worth being communicated to your mind for him: in short, that you think him readers. worth while to contest with. But silence, " Here innocence and beauty lies, whose breath or a negligent indifference, proceeds from Was snatch'd by early, not untimely, death. anger, mixed with a scorn that shows
Hence did she go, just as she did begin
Sorrow to know, before sbe knew to sin. another he is thought by you too contempt Death, that does sin and sorrow thus prevent, ible to be regarded.
Is the next blessing to a life well spent." The other method which the world has
*I am, sir, your servant.' taken for correcting this practice of false surprise, is to overshoot such talkers in their own bow, or to raise the story with farther degrees of impossibility, and set up No. 539.] Tuesday, November 18, 1712. for a voucher to them in such a manner
Heteroclita sunto.--Que Genus. as must let thein see they stand detected. Thus I have heard a discourse was once
Be they heteroclites. managed upon the effects of fear. One of Mr. SPECTATOR, I am a young widow the company had given an account how it of good fortune and family, and just come had turned his friend's hair pay in a night, to town; where I find I have clusters of while the terrors of a ship.reck encom- pretty fellows come already to visit me, passed him. Another, taking the hint some dying with hopes, others with fears, from hence, began, upon his own know-though they never saw me. Now, what I ledge, to enlarge his instances of the like would beg of you would be to know whether nature to such a number, that it was not I may venture to use these pert fellows probable he could ever have met with with the same freedom as I did my country them: and as he still grounded these upon acquaintance. I desire your leave to use different causes for the sake of variety, it them as to me shall seem meet, without might seem at last, from his share of the imputation of a jilt; for since I make declaconversation, almost impossible that any ration that not one of them shall have me, one who can feel the passion of fear, should I think I ought to be allowed the liberty all his life escape so common an effect of it. of insulting those who have the vanity to By this time some of the company grew believe it is in their power to make me negligent, or desirous to contradict him; break that resolution. There are schools but one rebuked the rest with an appear for learning to use foils, frequented by those ance of severity, and with the known old who never design to fight; and this useless story in his head, assured them he did not way of aiming at the heart, without design scruple to believe that the fear of any thing to wound it on either side, is the play with can make a man's hair gray, since he knew which I am resolved to divert myself
. The one whose periwig had suffered so by it. man who pretends to win, I shall use him Thus he stopped the talk, and made them like one who comes into a fencing-school easy. Thus is the same method taken to to pick a quarrel. I hope upon this foundabring us to shame, which we fondly take tion you will give me the free use of the to increase our character. It is indeed a natural and artificial force of my eyes, kind of mimickry, by which another puts looks, and gestures. As for verbal proon our air of conversation to show us to mises, I will make none, but shall have no ourselves. He seems to look ridiculous mercy on the conceited interpreters of before you, that you may remember how glances and motions. I am particularly near a resemblance you bear to him; or skilled in the downcast eye, and the recothat you may know that he will not lie very into a sudden full aspect and away under the imputation of believing you. again, as you may have seen sometimes Then it is that you are struck dumb im- practised by us country beauties beyond mediately with a conscientious shame for all that you have observed in courts and what you have been saying. Then it is cities. Add to this, sir, that I have a ruddy that you are inwardly grieved at the senti-heedless look, which covers artifice the ments which you cannot but perceive best of any thing. Though I can dance VOL. II.