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stocked with knowledge are run down by | bestirs himself to distress his enemy by them: I say, over-stocked, because they methods probable and reducible to reason, certainly are so, as to their service of man- so the same reason will fortify his enemy to kind, if from their very store they raise to elude these his regular efforts; but your fool themselves ideas of respect, and greatness projects, acts, and concludes, with such of the occasion, and I know not what, to notable inconsistency, that no regular course disable themselves from explaining their of thought can evade or counterplot his thoughts. I must confess, when I have seen prodigious machinations. My frontispiece, Charles Frankair rise up with a command- I believe, may be extended to imply, that ing mien, and torrent of handsome words, several of our misfortunes arise from things, talk a mile off the purpose, and drive down as well as persons, that seem of very little twenty bashful boobies of ten times his consequence. Into what tragical extravasense, who at the same time were envying gances does Shakspeare hurry Othello, his impudence, and despising his under- upon the loss of a handkerchief only! And standing, it has been matier of great mirth what barbarities does Desdemona suffer, to me; but it soon ended in a secret lamenta- from a slight inadvertency in regard to this tion, that the fountains of every thing praise- fatal trifle! If the schemes of all enterprisworthy in these realms, the universities, ing spirits were to be carefully examined, should be so muddled with a false sense of some intervening accident, not considerable this virtue, as to produce men capable of enough to occasion any debate upon, or give being so abused. I will be bold to say, that them any apprehension of ill consequence it is a ridiculous education which does not from it, will be found to be the occasion of qualify a man to make his best appearance their ill success, rather than any error in before the greatest man, and the finest wo- points of moment and difficulty, which natuman, to whom he can address himself. rally engaged their maturest deliberations. Were this judiciously corrected in the If you go to the levee of any great man, you nurseries of learning, pert coxcombs would will observe him exceeding gracious to know their distance: but we must bear with several very insignificant fellows; and upon this false modesty in our young nobility and this maxim, that the neglect of any person gentry, till they cease at Oxford and Cam- must arise from the mean opinion you have bridge to grow dumb in the study of elo- of his capacity to do you any service or quence.
prejudice; and that this calling his sufficiency in question must give him inclination, and where this is there never wants
strength, or opportunity to annoy you. No. 485.) Tuesday, September 16, 1712.
There is nobody so weak of invention that Nihil tam firmum est, cui periculum non sit, etiam
cannot aggravate, or make some little ab invalido.
Quint. Curt. I. vii. c. 8.
stories to vilify his enemy; there are very
few but have good inclinations to hear The strongest things are not so well established as to be out of danger from the weakest.
them; and it is infinite pleasure to the ma
jority of mankind to level a person superior MR. SPECTATOR,,My Lord Clarendon to his neighbours. Besides, in all matter has observed, that few men have done more of controversy, that party which has the harm than those who have been thought to greatest abilities labours under this prejube able to do least; and there cannot be a dice, that he will certainly be supposed, greater error, than to believe a man, whom upon account of his abilities, to have done we see qualified with too mean parts to do an injury, when perhaps he has received good, to be therefore incapable of doing one. It would be tedious to enumerate the hurt. There is a supply of malice, of strokes that nations and particular friends pride, of industry, and even of folly, in the have suffered from persons very contemptiweakest, when he sets his heart upon it, ble. that makes a strange progress in mischief. I think Henry IV. of France, so formidaWhat may seem to the reader the greatest ble to his neighbours, could no more be paradox in the reflection of the historian is, secured against the resolute villany of I suppose, that folly which is generally Ravillac, than Villiers duke of Buckingthought incapable of contriving or execut- ham could be against that of Felton. And ing any design, should be so formidable to there is no incensed person so destitute, but those whom it exerts itself to molest. But can provide himself with a knife or a pistol, this will appear very plain, if we remem- if he finds stomach to apply them. That ber that Solomon says, “ It is a sport to a things and persons of no moment should fool to do mischief;" and that he might the give such powerful revolutions to the promore emphatically express the calamitous gress of those of the greatest, seems a procircumstances of him who falls under the vidential disposition to baffle and abate the displeasure of this wanton person, the same pride of human sufficiency; as also to enauthor adds farther, that “A stone is heavy, gage the humanity and benevolence of and the sand weighty, but a fool's wrath is superiors to all below them, by letting them heavier than them both.” It is impossible into this secret, that the stronger depends to suppress my own illustration upon this upon the weaker. I am, sir, your very matter, which is that as the man of sagacity | humble servant.'
• Temple, Paper-buildings. I shall have a fair chance to divide the pasDEAR SIR,-I received a letter from sengers by the irresistible force of mine. you some time ago, which I should have I expect sudden despatches from you, answered sooner, had you informed me in with advice of the family you are in now, yours to what part of this island I might how to deport myself upon this so delicate have directed my impertinence; but having a conjuncture; with some comfortable rebeen let into the knowledge of that matter, solutions in favour of the handsome black this handsome excuse is no longer service- man against the handsome fair one. I am, able. My neighbour Prettyman shall be sir, your most humble servant.' C. the subject of this letter; who, falling in with the Spectator's doctrine concerning two pair of stairs; the gentleman of whom
N. B. He who writ this is a black man, the month of May, began from that season he writes is fair, and one pair of stairs. to dedicate himself to the service of the fair, in the following manner. I observed • Mr. SPECTATOR,-I only say, that it at the beginning of the month he bought is impossible for me to say how much I am him a new night-gown, either side to be
ROBIN SHORTER. worn outwards, both equally gorgeous
and attractive; but till the end of the month I
• P. S. I shall think it is a little hard, if did not enter so fully into the knowledge of you do not take as much notice of this his contrivance as the use of that garment epistle as you have of the ingenious Mr. has since suggested to me. Now you must Short's. I am not afraid of letting the world know, that all new clothes raise and warm see which is the deeper man of the two.' the wearer's imagination into a conceit of
ADVERTISEMENT. his being a much finer gentleman than he
London, September 15. was before, banishing all sobriety and re Whereas a young woman on horseback, flection, and giving him up to gallantry and in an equestrian habit, on the 13th instant amour. Inflamed, therefore, with this way in the evening, met the Spectator within a of thinking, and full of the spirit of the mile and a half of this town,
and flying in month of May, did this merciless youth re- the face of justice, pulled off her hat, in solve upon the business of captivating. At which there was a feather, with the mien first he confined himself to his room, only and air of a young officer, saying at the same now and then appearing at his window, in time, “Your servant, Mr. Spec,' or words his night-gown, and practising that easy to that purpose: this is to give notice, that posture which expresses the very top and if any person can discover the name and dignity of languishment. It was pleasant to place of abode of the said offender, so as sce him diversify his loveliness, sometimes she can be brought to justice, the informobliging the passengers only with a side- ant shall have all fitting encouragement. face, with a book in his hand; sometimes
T. being so generous as to expose the whole in the fulness of its beauty; at other times, by a judicious throwing back his periwig, he No. 486.] Wednesday, September 17, 1712. would throw in his ears. You know he is
Audire est operæ pretium, procedere recte that sort of person which the mob call a handsome jolly man; which appearance cannot miss of captives in this part of the
IMITATED. town. Being emboldened by daily success, All you who think the city ne'er can thrive he leaves his room with a resolution to Till ev'ry cuckold-inaker's flead alive, extend his conquests; and I have appre
Pope . hended him in his night-gown smiting in all
• Mr. SPECTATOR,—There are very parts of this neighbourhood.
many of my acquaintance followers of So •This I, being of an amorous complexion, crates, with more particular regard to that saw with indignation, and had thoughts of part of his philosophy which we among purchasing a wig in these parts; into which, ourselves call his domestics; under which being at a greater distance from the earth, denomination, or title, we include all the I might have thrown a very liberal mix- conjugal joys and sufferings. We have inture of white horse-hair, which would deed, with very great pleasure, observed make a fairer, and consequently a hand- the honour you do the whole fraternity of somer, appearance, while my situation the hen-pecked in placing that illustrious would secure me against any discoveries. man at our head, and it does in a very But the passion of the handsome gentle- great measure baffle the raillery of pert man seems to be so fixed to that part of the rogues, who have no advantage above us, building, that it must be extremely dif- but in that they are single. But, when you ficult to divert it to mine; so that I am re- look about into the crowd of mankind, you solved to stand boldly to the complexion of will find the fair-sex reigns with greater my own eyebrow, and prepare me an im- tyranny over lovers than husbands. You mense black wig of the same sort of struc- shall hardly meet one in a thousand who is ture with that of my rival. Now, though wholly exempt from their dominion, and by this I shall not, perhaps, lessen the those that are so are capable of no taste of number of the admirers of his complexion, life, and breathe and walk about the earth
Qui machis non vultis
Hor. Sat. fi. Lib. 1. 38.
as insignificants. But I am going to desire, cent. This and the like circumstances,
your farther favour of our harmless bro- which carry with them the most valuable By therhood, and hope you will show in a true regards of human life, may be mentioned 2 light the unmarried hen-pecked, as well as for our long-suffering; but in the case of
you have done justice to us, who submit gallants, they swallow ill usage from one to
to the conduct of our wives. I am very par- whom they have no obligation, but from ** ticularly acquainted with one who is under a base passion, which it is mean to indulge,
entire submission to a kind girl, as he calls and which it would be glorious to overE her; and though he knows I have been come.
witness both to the ill usage he has receiv • These sort of fellows are very numeed from her, and his inability to resist her rous, and some have been conspicuously tyranny, he still pretends to make a jest such, without shame; nay, they have carof me for a little more than ordinary obse- ried on the jest in the very article of death,
quiousness to my spouse. No longer than and, to the diminution of the wealth and hap*** Tuesday last he took me with him to visit piness of their families, in bar of those ho
his mistress; and having, it seems, been a nourably near to them, have left immense little in disgrace before, thought by bring- wealth to their paramours. What is this
ing me with him she would constrain her- but being a cully in the grave! Sure this mself, and insensibly fall into general dis- is being hen-pecked with a vengeance!
course with him; and so he might break But, without dwelling upon these less frethe ice, and save himself all the ordinary quent instances of eminent cullyism, what compunctions and mortifications she used is there so common as to hear a fellow to make him suffer before she would be re- curse his fate that he cannot get rid of a conciled, after any act of rebellion on his passion to a jilt, and quote a half line out part. When we came into the room, we of a miscellany poem to prove his weak, were received with the utmost coldness; ness is natural? 'If they will go on thus, I and when he presented me as Mr. Such-a- have nothing to say to it; but then let them one, his very good friend, she just had pa- pot pretend to be free all this while, and tience to suffer my salutation; but when he laugh at us poor married patients. himself, with a very gay air, offered to I have known one wench in this town follow me, she gave him a thundering box carry a haughty dominion over her lovers on the ear, called him a pitiful poor-spirited so well, that she has at the same time been wretch-how durst he see her face? His kept by a sea-captain in the Straits, a merwig and hat fell on different parts of the chant in the city, a country gentleman in floor. She scized the wig too soon for him Hampshire, and had all her corresponto recover it, and, kicking it down stairs, dences managed by one whom she kept for threw herself into an opposite room, pull- her own uses. This happy man (as the ing the door after her by force, that you phrase is) used to write very punctually, would have thought the hinges would have every post, letters for the mistress to trangiven way. We went down you must think, scribe. He would sit in his night-gown with no very good countenances; and, as and slippers, and be as grave giving an acwe were driving home together, he con- count, only changing names, that there was fessed to me, that her anger was thus nothing in those idle reports they had heard highly raised, because he did not think fit of such a scoundrel as one of the other to fight a gentleman who had said she was lovers was; and how could he think she what she was: “but,” says he, “a kind could condescend so low, after such a fine letter or two, or fifty pieces, will put her in gentleman as each of them? For the same humour again.” I asked him why he did epistle said the same thing to, and of, every not part with her: he answered, he loved one of them. And so Mr. Secretary and her with all the tenderness imaginable, and his lady went to bed with great order. she had too many charms to be abandoned To be short, Mr. Spectator, we husfor a little quickness of spirit. Thus does bands shall never make the figure we ought this illegitimate hen-pecked overlook the in the imaginations of young men growing hussy's having no regard to his very life up in the world, except you can bring, it and fame, in putting him upon an infamous about that a man of the town shall be as indispute about her reputation: yet has he famous a character as a woman of the town. the confidence to laugh at me, because I But, of all that I have met with in my obey my poor dear in keeping out of harm's time, commend me to Betty Duall: she is way, and not staying too late from my own the wife of a sailor, and the kept mistress family, to pass through the hazards of a of a man of quality; she dwells with the town full of ranters and debauchees. You latter during the seafaring of the former. that are a philosopher, should urge in our The husband asks no questions, sees his behalf, that, when we bear with a froward apartments furnished with riches not his, woman, our patience is preserved, in con- when he comes into port, and the lover is sideration that a breach with her might be as joyful as a man arrived at his haven, a dishonour to children who are descended when the other puts to sea. Betty is the from us, and whose concern makes us tole- most eminently victorious of any of her rate a thousand frailties, for fear they sex, and ought to stand recorded the only should redound dishonour upon the inno- I woman of the age in which she lives, who Vol. II.
has possessed at the same time two abused, genious author gives an account of himself and two contented'
T. in his dreaming and his waking thoughts.
We are somewhat more than ourselves No. 487.] Thursday, September 18, 1712. seems to be but the waking of the soul. It
in our sleeps, and the slumber of the body -Cum prostrata sopore
is the ligation of sense, but the liberty of Urget membra quies, et mens sine pondere ludit. reason; and our waking conceptions do not
match the fancies of our sleeps. At my While sleep oppresses the tir'd limbs, the mind nativity my ascendant was the watery sign Plays without weight, and wantons unconfin'd.
of Scorpius: I was born in the planetary Though there are many authors who hour of Saturn, and I think I have a piece have written on dreams, they have gene- of that leaden planet in me. I am no way rally considered them only as revelations of facetious, nor disposed for the mirth and what has already happened in distant parts galliardise of company; yet in one dream I of the world, or as presages of what is to can compose a whole comedy, behold the happen in future periods of time.
action, apprehend the jests, and laugh myI shall consider this subject in another self awake at the conceits thereof. Were light, as dreams may give us some idea of my memory as faithful as my reason is then the great excellency of a human soul, and fruitful, I would never study but in my some intimations of its independency on dreams; and this time also would I choose matter.
for my devotions; but our grosser memories In the first place, our dreams are great have then so little hold of our abstracted instances of that activity which is natural understandings, that they forget the story, to the human soul, and which is not in the and can only relate to our awaked souls a power of sleep to deaden or abate. When confused and broken tale of that that has the man appears to be tired and worn out passed. Thus it is observed that men somewith the labours of the day, this active part times, upon the hour of their departure, do in his composition is still busied and unwea- speak and reason above themselves; for ried. When the organs of sense want their then the soul, beginning to be freed from due repose and necessary reparations, and the ligaments of the body, begins to reason the body is no longer able to keep pace like herself, and to discourse in a strain with that spiritual substance to which it is above mortality.' united, the soul exerts herself in her seve We may likewise observe, in the third ral faculties, and continues in action until place, that the passions affect the mind her partner_is again qualified to bear her with greater strength when we are asleep company. In this case dreams look like than when we are awake. Joy and sorrow the relaxations and amusements of the soul, give us more vigorous sensations of pain or when she is disencumbered of her machine, pleasure at this time than any other. Deher sports, and recreations, when she has votion likewise, as the excellent author laid her charge asleep.
above mentioned has hinted, is in a very In the second place, dreams are an in- particular manner heightened and inflam- . stance of that agility and perfection which ed, when it rises in the soul at a time that is natural to the faculties of the mind, when the body is thus laid at rest. Every man's they are disengaged from the body. The experience will inform him in this matter, soul is clogged and retarded in her opera- though it is very probable that this may tions, when she acts in conjunction with a happen differently in different constitutions. companion that is so heavy and unwieldy I shall conclude this head with the two folin its motion. But in dreams it is wonder- lowing problems, which I shall leave to ful to observe with what a sprightliness and the solution of my reader. Supposing a alacrity she exerts herself. The slow of man always happy in his dreams, and mispeech make unpremeditated harangues, serable in his waking thoughts, and that or converse readily in languages that they his life was equally divided between them; are but little acquainted with. The grave whether would he be more happy or miseabound in pleasantries, the dull in repar-rable? Were a man a king in his dreams, tees and points of wit. There is not a more and a beggar awake, and dreamt as consepainful action of the mind than invention; quentially, and in as continued unbroken yet in dreams it works with that ease and schemes, as he thinks when awake; wheactivity that we are not sensible of, when ther would he be in reality a king or a the faculty is employed. For instance, I beggar; or, rather, whether he would not believe every one some time or other, be both? dreams that he is reading papers, books, There is another circumstance, which or letters; in which case the invention methinks gives us a very high idea of the prompts so readily, that the mind is im- nature of the soul, in regard to what passes posed upon, and mistakes its own sugges- in dreams. I mean that innumerable multions for the compositions of another. titude and variety of ideas which then arise
I shall, under this head, quote a passage in her. Were that active and watchful out of the Religio Medici,* in which the in-being only conscious of her own existence at
* By Sir T. Brown, M. D. author of the curious book such a time, what a painful solitude would on " Yulgar Errors," which appeared in folio, in 1646. our hours of sleep be! Were the soul
sensible of her being alone in her sleeping | strong intimations, not only of the excelmoments, after the same manner that she lency of the human soul, but of its indeis sensible of it while awake, the time pendence on the body; and, if they do not would hang very heavy on her, as it often prove, do at least confirm these two great actually does when she dreams that she is points, which are established by many in such a solitude,
other reasons that are altogether unan -Semperque relinqui
Virg. En. iv. 466.
No. 488.] Friday, September 19, 1712.
Quanti emptæ ? parvo. Quanti ergo ? octo assibus.
Hor. Sat. iii. Lib. 2. 156. way. What I would here remark, is that What doth it cost? Not much upon my word, wonderful power in the soul, of producing How much pray? Why, Two pence. Two pence! O her own company on these occasions. She converses with numberless beings of her I FIND, by several letters which I reown creation, and is transported into ten ceive daily, that many of my readers would thousand scenes of her own raising. She is be better pleased to pay three half-pence herself the theatre, the actor, and the be- for my paper than two pence. The ingeholder. This puts me in mind of a saying nious T. W. tells me that I have deprived which I am infinitely pleased with, and him of the best part of his breakfast; for which Plutarch ascribes to Heraclitus, that, since the rise of my paper, he is that all men whilst they are awake are in forced every morning to drink his dish of one common world; but that each of them, coffee by itself, without the addition of the when he is asleep, is in a world of his own. Spectator, that used to be better than lace The waking man is conversant in the world to it. Eugenius informs me, very obligingof nature: when he sleeps he retires to a ly, that he never thought he should have private world that is particular to himself. disliked any passage in my paper, but that There seems something in this considera- of late there have been two words in every tion that intimates to us natural grandeur one of them which he could heartily wish and perfection in the soul, which is rather left out, viz. •Price Two Pence. I have a to be admired than explained.
letter from a soap-boiler, who condoles I must not omit that argument for the with me very affectionately upon the neexcellency of the soul which I have seen cessity we both lie under of setting a high quoted out of Tertullian, namely, its power price on our commodities since the late tax of divining in dreams. That several such has been laid upon them, and desiring me, divinations have been made, none can ques- when I write next on that subject, to speak tion, who believes the holy writings, or a word or two upon the present duties on who has but the least degree of a common Castile soap. But there is none of these my historical faith; there being innumerable correspondents, who writes with a greater instances of this nature in several authors turn of good sense, and elegance of expresboth ancient and modern, sacred and pro- sion, than the generous Philomedes, who fane. Whether such dark presages, such advises me to value every Spectator at six. visions of the night, proceed from any la- pence, and promises that he himself will tent power in the scul, during this her state engage for above a hundred of his acquaintof abstraction, or from any communication ance, who shall take it in at that price. with the Supreme Being, or from any ope Letters from the female world are likewise ration of subordinate spirits, lias been a come to me, in great quantities, upon the great dispute among the learned; the mat- same occasion; and, as I naturally bear a ter of fact is, I think, incontestible, and has great deference to this part of our species, been looked upon as such by the greatest I am very glad to find that those who apwriters, who have been never suspected prove my conduct in this particular are either of superstition or enthusiasm. much more numerous than those who con
I do not suppose that the soul in these demn it. A large family of daughters have instances is entirely loose and unfettered drawn me up a very handsome remonfrom the body; it is sufficient if she is not strance, in which they set forth that their so far sunk and immersed in matter, nor father having refused to take in the Specentangled and perplexed in her operations tator, since the additional price was set upon with such motions of blood and spirits, as it, they offered him unanimously to bate when she actuates the machine in its wak- him the article of bread and butter in the
ing hours. The corporeal union is slack-tea-table account, provided the Spectator i ened enough to give the mind more plav. might be served up to them every morning · The soul seems gathered within herself, as usual. Upon this the old gentleman, į and recovers that spring which is broke being pleased, it seems, with their desire
and weakened, when she operates more in of improving themselves, has granted them concert with the body.
the continuance both of the Spectator and The speculations I have here made, if their bread and butter, having given partithey are not arguments, they are at least Icular orders that the tea-table shall be set