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pleased with himself, and the agreeable | Allusions to past follies, hints which revive man makes his friends enjoy themselves, what a man has a mind to forget for ever, rather than him, while he is in their com- and desires that all the rest of the world pany. Callisthenes does this with inimita- should, are commonly brought forth even ble pleasantry. He whispered a friend the in company of men of distinction. They do other day, so as to be overheard by a young not thrust with the skill of fencers, but cut officer, who gave symptoms of cocking upon up with the barbarity of butchers. It is, the company, That gentleman has very methinks, below the character of men of much the air of a general officer.' The humanity and good manners to be capable youth immediately put on a composed be- of mirth while there is any of the company haviour, and behaved himself suitably to in pain and disorder. They who have the the conceptions he believed the company true taste of conversation, enjoy themselves had of him. It is to be allowed that Cal- in communication of each other's excellisthenes will make a man run into imper- lencies, and not in a triumph over their tinent relations to his own advantage, and imperfections. Fortius would have been express the satisfaction he has in his own reckoned a wit, if there had never been a dear self, till he is very ridiculous: but in fool in the world: he wants not foils to be a this case the man is made a fool by his own beauty, but has that natural pleasure in consent, and not exposed as such whether observing perfection in others, that his own he will or no. I take it, therefore, that to faults are overlooked out of gratitude by all make raillery agreeable, a man must either his acquaintance. not know he is rallied, or think never the After these several characters of men worse of himself if he sees he is.
who succeed or fail in raillery, it may not Acetus is of a quite contrary genius, and is be amiss to reflect a little farther what one more generally admired than Čallisthenes, takes to be the most agreeable kind of it; but not with justice. Acetus has no regard and that to me appears when the satire is to the modesty or weakness of the person directed against vice, with an air of conhe rallies; but if his quality or humility tempt of the fault, but no ill-will to the gives him any superiority to the man he criminal. Mr. Congreve's Doris is a masterwould fall upon, he has no mercy in mak- piece of this kind. It is the character of a ing the onset. He can be pleased to see his woman utterly abandoned; but her impubest friends out of countenance, while the dence, by the finest piece of raillery, is laugh is loud in his own applause. His made only generosity, raillery always puts the company into little divisions and separate interests, while that
• Peculiar therefore is her way,
Whether by nature taught of Callisthenes cements it, and makes every I shall not undertake to say, man not only better pleased with himself, Or by experience bought; but also with all the rest in the conversa
• For who o'ernight obtain'd her grace, tion.
She can next day disown, To rally well, it is absolutely necessary And stare upon the strange man's face, that kindness must run through all you say;
As one she ne'er had known. and you must ever preserve the character . So well she can the truth disguise, of a friend to support your pretensions to Such artful wonder frame, be free with a man. Acetūs ought to be
The lover or distrusts his eyes,
Or thinks 'twas all a dream. banished human society, because he raises his mirth upun giving pain to the person Some censure this as lewd or low, upon whom he is pleasant. Nothing but
Who are to bounty blind; the malevolence which is too general to
But to forget what we bestow,
Bespeaks a noble mind.' wards those who excel could make his
T. company tolerated; but they with whom he converses are sure to see some man sa. crificed wherever he is admitted; and all No. 423.] Saturday, July 5, 1712. the credit he has for wit is owing to the gratification it gives to other men's ill-na
Hor. Od. xxvi. Lib. 21. ture.
Once fit myself. Minutius has a wit that conciliates a man's love, at the same time that it is ex I look upon myself as a kind of guardian erted against his faults. He has an art of to the fair, and am always watchful to ob keeping the person he rallies in counte- serve any thing which concerns their internance, by insinuating that he himself is est. The present paper shall be employed guilty of the same imperfection. This he in the service of a very fine young woman; does with so much address, that he seems and the admonitions I give her may not be rather to bewail himself, than fall upon his unuseful to the rest of her sex, Gloriana friend.
shall be the name of the heroine in to-day's It is really monstrous to see how unac-entertainment; and when I have told you countably it prevails among men, to take that she is rich, witty, young, and beautithe liberty of displeasing each other. One ful, you will believe she does not want adwould think sometimes that the conten- mirers. She has had, since she came to tion is, who shall be most disagreeable. town, about twenty-five of those lovers who
made their addresses by way of jointure to you the other day was a contrivance to and settlement: these come and go with remark your resentment. When you saw great indifference on both sides; and as the billet subscribed Damon, and turned beautiful as she is, a line in a deed has had away with a scornful air, and cried “imexception enough against it to outweigh the pertinence!" you gave hopes to him that lustre of her eyes, the readiness of her un- shuns you, without mortifying him that derstanding, and the merit of her general languishes for you. character. But among the crowd of such •What I am concerned for, madam, is, cool adorers, she has two who are very that in the disposal of your heart, you assiduous in their attendance. There is should know what you are doing, and ex something so extraordinary and artful in amine it before it is lost. Strephon contratheir manner of application, that I think it dicts you in discourse with the civility of but common justice to alarm her in it. I one who has a value for you, but gives up have done it in the following letter: nothing like one that loves you. This seem
ing unconcern gives his behaviour the adMadam,—I have for some time taken vantage of sincerity, and insensibly obtains notice of two young gentlemen who attend your good opinion by appearing disinterestyou in all public places, both of whom have ed in the purchase of it
. If you watch these also easy access to you at your own house. correspondents hereafter, you will find The matter is adjusted between them; that Strephon makes his visit of civility and Damon, who so passionately addresses immediately after Damon has tired you you, has no design upon you; but Strephon, with one of love. Though you are very who seems to be indifferent to you, is the discreet, you will find it no easy matter to man who is, as they have settled 'it, to have escape the toils so well laid; as, when one you. The plot was laid over a bottle of studies to be disagreeable in passion, the wine; and Strephon, when he first thought other to be pleasing without it. All the
of you, proposed to Damon to be his rival. turns of your temper are carefully watch# The manner of his breaking of it to him, I ed, and their quick and faithful intelligence
was so placed at a tavern, that I could not gives your lovers irresistible advantage.
avoid hearing. “ Damon,” said he, with | You will please, madam, to be upon your * a deep sigh, “I have long languished for guard, and take all the necessary precauis that miracle of beauty, Gloriana; and if tions against one who is amiable to you
you will be very steadfastly my rival, I before you know he is enamoured. I am, shall certainly obtain her. Do not,” con- madam, your most obedient servant.' tinued he, “be offended at this overture; for I go upon the knowledge of the temper
Strephon makes great progress in this of the woman, rather than any vanity that lady's good graces; for most women being I should profit by any opposition of your
actúated by some little spirit of pride and pretensions to those of your humble ser-contradiction, he has the good effects of vant. Gloriana has very good sense, a both those motives by this covert way of quick relish of the satisfactions of life, and courtship. He received a message yesterwill not give herself, as the crowd of wo-day from Damon in the following words, men do, to the arms of a man to whom she superscribed • With speed.' is indifferent. As she'is a sensible woman, expressions of rapture and adoration will and I dare say hates me in earnest. It is a
• All goes well; she is very angry at me, not move her neither; but he that has her must be the object of her desire, not her good time to visit. Yours.' pity. The way to this end I take to be, The comparison of Strephon's gaiety to that a man's general conduct should be Damon's languishment strikes her imaginaagreeable, without addressing in particular tion with a prospect of very agreeable to the woman he loves. Now, sir, if you hours with such a mar as the former, and will be so kind as to sigh and die for Glo- abhorrence of the insipid prospect with one riana, I will carry it with great respect to like the latter. To know when a lady is wards her, but seem void of any thoughts displeased with another, is to know the as a lover. By this means I shall be in the best time of advancing yourself. This memost amiable light of which I am capable; thod of two persons playing into each I shall be received with freedom, you with other's hand is so dangerous, that I cannot reserve.” Damon who has himself no de- tell how a woman could be able to withsigns of marriage at all, easily fell into the stand such a siege. The condition of Glo
scheme; and you may observe, that wher- riana I am afraid is irretrievable; for never you are, Damon appears also. You Strephon has had so many opportunities of
see he carries on an unaffected exactness pleasing without suspicion, that all which in his dress and manner, and strives always is left for her to do is to bring him, now she to be the very contrary of Strephon. They is advised, to an explanation of his passion, have already succeeded so far, that your and beginning again, if she can conquer the eyes are ever in search of Strephon, and kind sentiments she has conceived for him. turn themselves of course from Damon. When one shows himself a creature to be They meet and compare notes upon your avoided, the other proper to be filed to for carriage; and the letter which was brought I succour, they have the whole woman be
tween them, and can occasionally rebound with which he treats his neighbours, and her love and hatred from one to the other, every one, even the meanest of his own in such a manner as to keep her at a dis- family! and yet how seldom imitated! Intance from all the rest of the world, and stead of which we commonly meet with cast lots for the conquest.
ill-natured expostulations, noise, and chid. N. B. I have many other secrets which ings. And this I hinted, because the huconcern the empire of love; but I consider, mour and disposition of the head is what that, while I alarm my women, I instruct chiefly influences all the other parts of a my men.
“An agreement and kind correspondence
between friends and acquaintance is the No. 424.] Monday, July 7, 1712.
greatest pleasure of life." This is an un
doubted truth; and yet any man who judges Est Ulubris, animus si te non deficit æquus. from the practice of the world will be
Hor. Ep. xi. Lib. 1. 30.
almost persuaded to believe the contrary; "Tis not the place disgust or pleasure brings : for how can we suppose people should be From our own mind our satisfaction springs. so industrious to make themselves uneasy?
'London, June 24. What can engage them to entertain and "MR. SPECTATOR, -A man who has it foment jealousies of one another upon every in his power to choose his own company, or the least occasion? Yet so it is, there would certainly be much to blame, should are people who (as it should seem) delight he not, to the best of his judgment, take in being troublesome and vexatious, who such as are of a temper most suitable to his (as Tully speaks) Mira sunt alacritate ad own; and where that choice is wanting, or litigandum, have a certain cheerfulness where a man is mistaken in his choice, in wrangling.' And thus it happens, that and yet under a necessity of continuing in there are very few families in which there the same company, it will certainly be his are not feuds and animosities; though it is interest to carry himself as easily as pos- every one's interest, there more particusible.
larly, to avoid them, because there (as I • In this I am sensible I do but repeat would willingly hope) no one gives another what has been said a thousand times, at uneasiness without feeling some share of which however I think nobody has any it. But I am gone beyond what I designed, title to take exception, but they who never and had almost forgot what I chiefly profailed to put this in practice. Not to use posed: which was, barely to tell you how any longer preface, this being the season hardly we, who pass most of our time in of the year in which great numbers of all town, dispense with a long vacation in the sorts of people retire from this place of country, how uneasy we grow to ourselves, business and pleasure to country solitude, and to one another, when our conversation I think it not improper to advise them to is confined; insomuch that, by Michael. take with them as great a stock of good- mas, it is odds but we come to downright humour as they can; for though a country squabbling, and make as free with one anlife is described as the most pleasant of all other to our faces as we do with the rest of others, and though it may in truth be so, the world behind their backs. After I yet it is so only to those who know how to have told you this, I am to desire that you enjoy leisure and retirement.
would now and then give us a lesson of • As for those who cannot live without good-humour, a family-piece, which, since the constant helps of business or company, we are all very fond of you, I hope may let them consider, that in the country there have some influence upon us. is no Exchange, there are no playhouses, • After these plain observations, give me no variety of coffee-houses, nor many of leave to give you a hint of what a set of those other amusements which serve here company of my acquaintance, who are now as so many reliefs from the repeated occur- gone into the country, and have the use of rences in their own families; but that there an absent nobleman's seat, have settled the greatest part of their time must be among themselves, to avoid the inconvespent within themselves, and consequently niences above mentioned. They are a colit behoves them to consider how agreeable lection of ten or twelve of the same good it will be to them before they leave this inclination towards each other, but of very dear town.
different talents and inclinations: from hence I remember, Mr. Spectator, we were they hope that the variety of their tempers very well entertained last year with the will only create variety of pleasures. But advices you gave us from Sir Roger's coun- as there always will arise, among the same try-seat; which I the rather mention, be- people, either for want of diversity of obcause it is almost impossible not to live jects, or the like causes, a certain satiety, pleasantly, where the master of the family which may grow into ill-humour or disconis such a one as you there describe your tent, there is a large wing of the house friend, who cannot therefore (I mean as which they design to employ in the nature to his domestic character,) be too often re- of an infirmary. Whoever says a peevish commended to the imitation of others. How thing, or acts any thing which betrays a amiable is that affability and benevolence sourness or indisposition to company, is im
mediately to be conveyed to his chambers, with as much light as was necessary to dis
in the infirmary; from whence he is not to cover a thousand pleasing objects, and at 7 be relieved, till by his manner of submis- the same time divested of all power of heat. Ksion, and the sentiments expressed in his The reflection of it in the water, the fanI petition for that purpose, he appears to the ning of the wind rustling on the leaves, the * majority of the company to be again fit for singing of the thrush and nightingale, and if society. You are to understand, that all the coolness of the walks, all conspired to
ill-natured words or uneasy gestures are make me lay aside all displeasing thoughts,
sufficient cause for banishment; speaking and brought me into such a tranquillity of mu impatiently to servants, making a man re- mind, as is, I believe, the next happiness
peat what he says, or any thing that betrays to that of hereafter. In this sweet retiresu inattention or dishumour, are also criminal ment I naturally fell into the repetition of
without reprieve. But it is provided, that some lines out of a poem of Milton's, which t whoever observes the ill-natured fit coming he entitles Il Penseroso, the ideas of which
upon himself, and voluntarily retires, shall were exquisitely suited to my present wanes be received at his return from the infirmary derings of thought. al with the highest marks of esteem. By these
"Sweet bird! that shunn'st the noise of folly, and other wholesome methods, it is ex Most musical! most melancholy! pected that if they cannot cure one another, Thee, chantress, oft, the woods among yet at least they have taken care that the
I woo to hear thy ev'ning song:
And missing thee I walk unseen e ill-humour of one shall not be troublesome
On the dry smooth-shaven green, to the rest of the company. There are
To behold the wand'ring moon, many other rules which the society have
Riding near her highest noon,
Like one that hath been led astray. con un established for the preservation of their Through the heaven's wide pathless way,
ease and tranquillity, the effects of which, And oft, as if her bead she bow'd, with the incidents that arise among them,
Stooping through a fleecy cloud. shall be communicated to you from time to "Then let some strange mysterious dream s time, for the public good, by, sir, your most
Wave with its wings in airy stream humble servant,
Of lively portraiture display'd
Sonly on my eyelids laid:
And as I wake, sweet music breathe
Or the unseen genius of the wood."
'I reflected then upon the sweet vicissiFrigora mitescunt zephyris; ver proterit æstas Interitura, simul
tudes of night and day, on the charming Pomi fer autumnus fruges effuderit; et mox disposition of the seasons, and their return Bruma recurrit iners. Hor. Od. vii. Lib. 4. 9.
again in a perpetual circle: and oh! said I, The cold grows soft with western gales,
that I could from these my declining years The summer over spring prevails, But yields to autumn's fruitful rain,
return again to my first spring of youth and As this to winter storms and hails;
vigour; but that, alas! is impossible; all Each loss the hasting moon repairs again. that remains within my power is to soften
Sir W. Temple.
the inconveniences I feel; with an easy con*MR. SPECTATOR,—There is hardly any tented mind, and the enjoyment of such thing gives me a more sensible delight'than delights as this solitude affords me. In this the
enjoyment of a cool still evening after thought I sat me down on a bank of flowers, the uneasiness of a hot sultry day. Such a and dropt into a slumber, which, whether one I passed not long ago, which made me it were the effect of fumes and vapours, or rejoice when the hour was come for the sun my present thoughts, I know not; but meto set, that I might enjoy the freshness of thought the genius of the garden stood the evening in my garden, which then before me, and introduced into the walk affords me the pleasantest hours I pass in where I lay this drama and different scenes the whole four and twenty. I immediately of the revolution of the year, which, whilst rose from my couch, and went down into it. I then saw, even in my dream, I resolved You descend at first by twelve stone steps to write down, and send to the Spectator. into
a large square divided into four grass •The first person whom I saw advancing plots, in each of which is a statue of white towards me was a youth of a most beautiful marble. This is separated from a large air and shape, though he seemed not yet parterre by a low wall; and from thence, arrived at that exact proportion and symthrough a pair of iron gates, you are led metry of parts which a little more time into a long broad walk of the finest turf, set would have given him; but, however, there on each side with tall yews, and on either was such a bloom in his countenance, such hand bordered by a canal, which on the satisfaction and joy, that I thought it the right divides the walk from a wilderness most desirable form that I had ever seen. parted into variety of alleys and arbours, He was clothed in a flowing mantle of green and on the left from a kind of amphitheatre, silk, interwoven with flowers; he had a which is the receptacle of a great number chaplet of roses on his head, and a narcissus of
oranges and myrtles. The moon shone in his hand; primroses and violets sprang up bright, and seemed then most agreeably to under his feet, and all nature was cheered supply the place of the sun, obliging me at his approach. Flora was on one hand,
and Vertumnus on the other, in a robe of faint, whilst for half the steps he took, the changeable silk. After this I was surprised dog-star levelled his rays full at his head. to see the moon-beams reflected with a sud. They passed on, and made way for a perden glare from armour, and to see a man son that seemed to bend a little under the completely armed, advancing with his weight of years; his beard and hair, which sword drawn. I was soon informed by the were full grown, were composed of an equal genius it was Mars, who had long usurped number of black and gray; he wore a robe a place among the attendants of the Spring which he had girt round him, of a yellowish He made way for a softer appearance. It cast, not unlike the colour of fallen leaves, was Venus, without any ornament but her which he walked upon. I thought he hardly own beauties, not so much as her own ces- made amends for expelling the foregoing tus, with which she had encompassed a scene by the large quantity of fruits which globe, which she held in her right hand, he bore in his hands. Plenty walked by his and in her left hand she had a sceptre of side with a healthy fresh countenance, gold. After her followed the Graces, with pouring out from a horn all the various pro arms entwined within one another; their ducts of the year. Pomona followed with a girdles were loosed, and they moved to the glass of cider in her hand, with Bacchus in sound of soft music, striking the ground a chariot drawn by tigers, accompanied by alternately with their feet. Then came up a whole troop of satyrs, fauns, and sylvans. the three Months which belong to this sea- September, who came next, seemed in his
As March advanced towards me, looks to promise a new Spring, and wore there was, methought in his look a lower the livery of those months. The succeeding ing roughness, which ill-befitted a month month was all soiled with the juice of which was ranked in so soft a season; but grapes, as he had just come from the wineas he came forwards, his features became press. November, though he was in this insensibly more mild and gentle; he smooth- division, yet, by the many stops he made, ed his brow, and looked with so sweet a seemed rather inclined to the Winter which countenance, that I could not but lament followed close at his heels. He advanced in his departure, though he made way for the shape of an old man in the extremity April. He appeared in the greatest gaiety of age; the hair he had was so very white, imaginable, and had a thousand pleasures it seemed a real snow; his eyes were red to attend him: his look was frequently and piercing, and his beard hung with great clouded, but immediately returned to its first quantity of icicles; he was wrapt up in furs, composure, and remained fixed in a smile. but yet so pinched with excess of cold, that Then came May, attended by Cupid, with his limbs were all contracted, and his body his bow strung, and in a posture to let fly bent to the ground, so that he could not an arrow: as he passed by, methought I have supported himself had it not been for heard a confused noise of soft complaints, Comus, the god of revels, and Necessity, gentle ecstacies, and tender sighs of lovers; the mother of Fate, who sustained him on vows of constancy, and as many complain- each side. The shape and mantle of Comus ings of perfidiousness; all which the winds was one of the things that most surprised wafted away as soon as they had reached me: as he advanced towards me, his counmy hearing. After these I saw a man ad-tenance seemed the most desirable I had vance in the full prime and vigour of his ever seen. On the fore part of his mantle age; his complexion was sanguine and was pictured joy, delight, and satisfaction, ruddy, his hair black, and fell down in with a thousand emblems of merriment, beautiful ringlets beneath his shoulders; a and jests with faces looking two ways at mantle of hair-coloured silk hung loosely once; but as he passed from me I was upon him: he advanced with a hasty step amazed at a shape so little correspondent after the Spring, and sought out the shade to his face: his head was bald, and all the and cool fountains which played in the gar- rest of his limbs appeared old and deformed. den. He was particularly well pleased on the hinder part of his mantle was rewhen a troop of Zephyrs fanned him with presented Murder* with dishevelled hair their wings. He had two companions, who and a dagger all bloody, Anger in a robe of walked on each side, that made him appear scarlet, and Suspicion squinting with both the most agreeable; the one was Aurora eyes; but above all, the most conspicuous with figures of roses, and her feet dewy, was the battle of Lapitha and the Centaurs attired in gray; the other was Vesper, in a I detested so hideous a shape, and turned robe of azure beset with drops of gold, my eyes upon Saturn, who was stealing whose breath he caught while it passed away behind him, with a scythe in one over a bundle of honeysuckles and tuberoses hand and an hour-glass in the other, unobwhich he held in his hand. Pan and Ceres served. Behind Necessity was Vesta, the followed them with four reapers, who goddess of fire, with a lamp that was perdanced a morrice to the sound of oaten-pipes petually supplied with oil, and whose flame and cymbals. Then came the attendant was eternal. She cheered the rugged brow Months. June retained still some small of Necessity, and warmed her so far as allikeness of the Spring; but the other two seemed to step with a less vigorous tread,
* The English are branded, perhaps unjustly, with especially August, who seemed almost to being addicted to suicide about this time of the year.