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The blade had cut

It is not many

very barbarous circumstance, tells us, that to do things worthy, but heroic. The great when the tongue of a beautiful female was cut foundation of civil virtue is self-denial; and out, and thrown upon the ground, it could there is no one above the necessities of life, not forbear muttering even in that posture: but has opportunities of exercising that

noble quality, and doing as much as his cirComprensam forcipe linguam Abstulit ense fero: radix micat ultima linguæ.

cumstances will bear for the ease and conIpsa jacet, terræque tremens immurmurat atræ; venience of other men; and he who does Ulque salire solei mutilatæ cauda colubræ

more than ordinary men practise upon such Palpitat

Met. Lib. vi. 556.

occasions as occur in his life, deserves the

value of his friends, as if he had done enHer tongue sheer off, close to the trembling root: The mangled part still quiver'd on the ground,

terprises which are usually attended with Murmuring with a faint imperfect sound;

the highest glory. Men of public spirit And, as a serpent writhes his wounded train, differ rather in their circumstances than Uneasy, panting, and possess'd with pain. - Crozall. their virtue; and the man who does all he

If a tongue would be talking without a can, in a low station, is more a hero than he mouth, what could it have done when it had who omits any worthy action he is able to all its organs of speech, and accomplices of accomplish in a great one. sound about it? I might here mention the years ago since Lapirius, in wrong of his story of the Pippin Woman, had I not some elder brother, came to a great estate by reason to look upon it as fabulous. * gift of his father, by reason of the dissolute

I must confess I am so wonderfully behaviour of the first-born. Shame and charmed with the music of this little instru- contrition reformed the life of the disinment, that I would by no means discourage herited youth, and he became as remarkit. All that I aim at by this dissertation is, able for his good qualities as formerly for to cure it of several disagreeable notes, and his errors. Lapirius, who observed his in particular of those little jarrings and brother's amendment, sent him on a newdissonances which arise from anger, cen- year's day in the morning, the following soriousness, gossipping, and coquetry. In letter: short, I would always have it tuned by good-nature, truth, discretion, and sincerity. the deeds whereby my father gave me this

• HONOURED BROTHER,- I enclose to you C.

house and land. Had he lived till now, he would not have bestowed it in that manner;

he took it from the man you were, and I No. 248.] Friday, December 14, 1711.

restore it to the man you are. I am, sir, Hoc maxime officii est, ut quisque maxime opis indi- your affectionate brother, and humble sergeat, ita ei potissimum opitulari. Tull. Of. 1. 16. vant,

P. T.' It is a principal point of duty, to assist another most

As great and exalted spirits undertake when he stands most in need of assistance.

the pursuit of hazardous actions for the THERE are none who deserve superiority good of others, at the same time gratifying over others in the esteem of mankind, who their passion for glory: so do worthy minds do not make it their endeavour to be bene- in the domestic way of life deny themselves ficial to society; and who upon all occasions many advantages, to satisfy a generous bewhich thejr circumstances of life can ad- nevolence, which they bear to their friends minister, do not take a certain unfeigned oppressed with distresses and calamities. pleasure in conferring benefits of one kind Such natures one may call stores of Provior other. Those whose great talents and dence, which are actuated by a secret cehigh birth have placed them in conspicuous lestial influence to undervalue the ordinary stations of life are indispensably obliged to gratifications of wealth, to give comfort to exert some noble inclinations for the ser- a heart loaded with affliction, to save a vice of the world, or else such advantages falling family, to preserve a branch of trade become misfortunes, and shade and privacy in their neighbourhood, to give work to the are a more eligible portion. Where oppor- industrious, preserve the portion of the tunities and inclinations are given to the helpless infant, and raise the head of the same person, we sometimes see sublime in- mourning father. People whose hearts are stances of virtue, which so dazzle our ima- wholly bent towards pleasure, or intent ginations, that we look with scorn on all upon gain, never hear of the noble occurwhich in lower scenes of life we may our-rences among men of industry and huselves be able to practice. But this is a manity. It would look like a city romance, vicious way of thinking; and it bears some to tell them of the generous merchant, who spice of romantic madness, for a man to the other day sent this billet to an eminent imagine that he must grow ambitious, or trader under difficulties to support himself, seek adventures, to be able to do great ac- in whose fall many hundreds besides himself tions. It is in every man's power in the had perished: but because I think there is world who is above mere poverty, not only more spirit and true gallantry in it than in

any letter I have ever read from Strephon • The crackling crystal yields, she sinks, she dies;

to Phillis, I shall insert it even in the merHer head chopp'd off, from her Jost shoulders flies;

cantile honest style in which it was sent: Pippins she cried, but death her voice confounds, Aad pip-pip-pip along the ice resounds.

'SIR, I have heard of the casualties

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which have involved you in extreme dis- | together my reflections on it without any tress at this time, and knowing you to be a order or method, so that they may appear man of great good-nature, industry, and rather in the looseness and freedom of an probity, have resolved to stand by you. Be essay, than in the regularity of a set disof good cheer; the bearer brings with him course. It is after this manner that I shall five thousand pounds, and has my order to consider laughter and ridicule in my preanswer your drawing as much more on my sent paper. account. I did this in haste, for fear I Man is the merriest species of the creashould come too late for your relief; but tion, all above and below him are serious. you may value yourself with me to the sum He sees things in a different light from of fifty thousand pounds; for I can very other beings, and finds his mirth arising cheerfully run the hazard of being so much from objects that perhaps cause something less rich than I am now, to save an honest like pity or displeasure in higher natures. man whom I love, * Your friend and ser- Laughter is indeed a very good countervant,

W. S.' poise to the spleen; and it seems but reaI think there is somewhere in Montaigne receiving joy from what is no real good to

sonable that we should be capable of mention made of a family-book, wherein all the occurrences that happened from one

us, since we can receive grief from what is

no real evil. generation of that house to another were recorded. Were there such a method in

I have in my forty-seventh paper raised the families which are concerned in this a speculation on the notion of a modern generosity, it would be a hard task for the philosopher,£ who describes the first mogreatest in Europe to give in their own an which we make between ourselves and the

tive of laughter to be a secret comparison instance of a benefit better placed, or conferred with a more graceful air. It has persons we laugh at; or in other words, been heretofore urged how barbarous and that satisfaction which we receive from the inhuman is any unjust step made to the opinion of some pre-eminence in ourselves, disadvantage of a trader;

and by how much when we see the absurdities of another, or such an act towards him is detestable, by

when we reflect on any past absurdities of so much an act of kindness towards him is and we may observe that the vainest part

our own. This seems to hold in most cases, laudable. I remember to have heard a bencher of the Temple tell a story of a tra- of mankind are the most addicted to this dition in their house, where they had for- passion. merly a custom of choosing kings for such the church of Rome, on those words of the

I have read a sermon of a conventual in a season, and allowing him his expenses the charge of the society. . One of our and of Mirth, what does it?' Úpon which

wise man, 'I said of Laughter, it is mad; kings, t said my friend, carried his royal he laid it down as a point of doctrine, that inclination a little too far, and there was a committee ordered to look into the manage that Adam could not laugh before the fall,

laughter was the effect of original sin, and ment of his treasury. Among other things it appeared, that his majesty walking in- unbraces the mind, weakens the faculties,

Laughter while it lasts, slackens and cog. in the cloister, had overheard a poor and causes a kind of remissness and dissoluman say to another, ‘Such a small sum tion in all the powers of the soul; and thus would make me the happiest man in the far it may be looked upon as a weakness in world.' The king out of his royal compas- the composition of human nature. But if sion, privately inquired into his character, we consider the frequent reliefs we receive and finding him a proper object of charity, from it, and how often it breaks the gloom sent him the money. When the committee which is apt to depress the mind and read the report, the house passed his accounts with a plaudite without farther ex

damp our spirits, with transient unexpected amination, upon the recital of this article gleams of joy, one would take care not to in them;

grow too wise for so great a pleasure of life, For making a man happy........ l 10 0 0

The talent of turning men into ridicule, and exposing to laughter those one con

verses with, is the qualification of little unNo. 249.]

generous tempers. A young man with this Saturday, December 15, 1711. | cast of mind cuts himself off from all manΓελος ακαιρος εν βρoτοις δεινον κακόν.

ner of improvement. Every one has his

Frag. Vet. Poet. flaws and weaknesses; nay, the greatest Mirth out of season is a grievous ill.

blemishes are often found in the most shinWhen I make choice of a subject that ing characters; but what an absurd thing has not been treated on by others, I throw is it to pass over all the valuable parts of a

man, and fix our attention on his infirmi* The merchant involved in distress by casualties ties? to observe his imperfections more was one Mr. Moreton, a linen-draper; and the generous than his virtues and to make use of him merchant, here so justly celebrated, was Sir William

† This king, it is said, was beau Nash, master of the he was much given to gambling, he was very liberal, ceremonies at Bath. In king William's time he was a and numerous instances are recorded of his benevolence, student in the Temple. His biographer says, though

| Hobbes,



Such as hang on Hebe's cheek,

for the sport of others, rather than for our ter with observing, that the metaphor of own improvement?

| laughing applied to the fields and meadows We therefore very often find that per- when they are in flower, or to trees when sons the most accomplished in ridicule are they are in blossom, runs through all lanthose who are very shrewd at hitting a blot, guages; which I have not observed of any without exerting any thing masterly in other metaphor, excepting that of fire and themselves. As there are many eminent burning when they are applied to love. critics who never writ a good line, there | This shows that we naturally regard laughare many admirable buffoons that animad- ter, as what is in itself both amiable and vert upon every single defect in another, beautiful. For this reason likewise Venus without ever discovering the least beauty has gained the title of c.moun8 ms, the laughof their own. By this means, these unlucky ter-loving dame,' as Waller has translated little wits often gain reputation in the it, and is represented by Horace as the godesteem of vulgar minds, and raise them- dess who delights in laughter. Milton, in selves above persons of much more laud- a joyous assembly of imaginary persons, has able characters.

given us a very poetical figure of laughter. If the talent of ridicule were employed His whole band of mirth is so finely deto laugh men out of vice and folly, it might scribed, that I shall set down the passage be of some use to the world; but instead of at length. this, we find that it is generally made use

But come thou goddess, fair and free, of to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, In heaven yeleped Euphrosyne, by attacking every thing that is solemn and And by men, heart-easing Mirth, serious, decent and praiseworthy in human

Whom lovely Venus at a birth,

With two sisters Graces more, life.

To ivy-crowned Bacchus bore. We may observe, that in the first ages Haste thee, nymph, and bring with thce of the world, when the great souls and

Jest and youthful jollity,

Quips, and cranks, and wanton wiles, master-pieces of human nature were pro Nods, and becks, and wreathed smiles, duced, men shined by a noble simplicity of behaviour, and were strangers to those

And love to live in dimple sleek; little embellishments which are so fashion

Sport that wrinkled Care derides,

And Laughter holding both his sides. able in our present conversation. And it Come and trip it as you go, is very remarkable, that notwithstanding

On the light fantastic toe: we fall short at present of the ancients in

And in thy right hand lead with thee

The mountain nymph, sweet Liberty; poetry, painting, oratory, history, archi And if I give the honour due, tecture, and all the noble arts and sciences

Mirth, admit me of thy crew,

To live with her, and live with thee, which depend more upon genius than ex

In unreproved pleasures, free. perience, we exceed them as much in dog

L'Allegro, v. 11. &c. grel humour, burlesque, and all the trivial arts of ridicule. We meet with more raillery among the moderns, but more good No. 250.] Monday, December 17, 1711. sense among the ancients. The two great branches of ridicule in Disce docendus adhuc, qnæ censet amiculus, ut si

Cæcus iter monstrare velit; tamen aspice si quid writing are comedy and burlesque. The

Et nos, quod cures proprium fecisse, loquamur. first ridicules persons by drawing them

Hor. Lib. 1. Ep. xvii. 3. in their proper characters, the other by Yet hear what an unskilful friend can say: drawing them quite unlike themselves. As if a blind man should direct your way; Burlesque is therefore of two kinds; the first

So I myself though wanting to be taught,

May yet impart a hint that's worth your thought. represents mean persons in the accoutrements of heroes; the other describes great •MR. SPECTATOR,-You see the nature persons acting and speaking like the basest of my request by the Latin motto which I among the people. Don Quixote is an in- address to you. I am very sensible I ought stance of the first, and Lucian's gods of the not to use many words to you, who are one second. It is a dispute among the critics, of but few; but the following piece, as it whether burlesque poetry runs best in her relates to speculation in propriety of speech, roic verse, like that of the Dispensary; or being a curiosity in its kind, begs your pain doggrel, like that of Hudibras. I think tience. It was found in a poetical virtuoso's where the low character is to be raised, closet among his rarities; and since the the heroic is the proper measure;

but when several treatises of thumbs, ears, and noses, a hero is to be pulled down and 'degraded, have obliged the world, this of eyes is at it is best done in doggrel.

If Hudibras had been set out with as “The first eye of consequence (under the much wit and humour in heroic verse as he invisible Author of all) is the visible lumiis in doggrel he would have made a much nary of the universe. This glorious Spectamore agreeable figure than he does; though tor is said never to open his eyes at his the generality of his readers are so wonder- rising in a morning, without having a whole fully pleased with the double rhymes, that kingdom of adorers in Persian silk waiting I do not expect many will be of my opinion at his levee. Millions of creatures derive in this particular.

their sight from this original, who, besides I shall conclude this essay upon laugh-I his being the great director of optics, is the

your service.

Æn. xii. 101.

From his wide nostrils flies

surest test whether eyes be of the same as much the receptacle and seat of our passpecies with that of an eagle, or that of an sions, appetites, and inclinations as the mind owl. The one he emboldens with a manly itself; and at least it is the outward portal assurance to look, speak, act, or plead be- to introduce them to the house within, or fore the faces of a numerous assembly; the rather the common thoroughfare to let our other he dazzles out of countenance into a affections pass in and out. Love, anger, sheepish dejectedness. The sun-proof eye pride and avarice, all visibly move in those dares lead up a dance in a full court, and little orbs. I know a young lady that canwithout blinking at the lustre of beauty, can not see a certain gentleman pass by without distribute an eye of proper complaisance to showing a secret desire of seeing him again a room crowded with company, each of by a dance in her eye-balls; nay, she cannot which deserves particular regard: while for the heart of her, help looking half a the other sneaks from conversation, like a street's length after any man in a gay dress. fearful debtor, who never dares to look out, You cannot behold a covetous spirit walk but when he can see nobody, and nobody by a goldsmith's shop without casting a him.

wishful eye at the heaps upon the counter. “The next instance of optics is the fam- Does not a haughty person show the temper ous Argus, who, (to speak the language of of his soul in the supercilious roll of his eye; Cambridge) was one of a hundred; and and how frequently in the height of passion being used as a spy in the affairs of jeal- does that moving picture in our head start ousy, was obliged to have all his eyes about and stare, gather a redness and quick flashes him. We have no account of the particular of lightning, and make all its humours colours, casts, and turns of this body of eyes; sparkle with fire, as Virgil finely describes it, but as he was pimp for his mistress Juno, it

Ardentis ab ore is probable he used all the modern leers,

Scintillæ absistunt: oculis micat acribus ignis. sly glances, and other ocular activities to serve his purpose. Some look upon him as the then king at arms to the heathenish A fiery stream, and sparkles from his eyes. deities; and make no more of his eyes than

Dryden. of so many spangles of his herald's coat. “ As for the various turns of the eye

“ The next upon the optic list is old sight, such as the voluntary or involuntary, Janus, who stood in a double-sighted capa- the half or the whole leer, I shall not enter city, like a person placed betwixt two op- into a very particular account of them; but posite looking-glasses, and so took a sort of let me observe, that oblique vision, when retrospective cast at one view. Copies of natural, was anciently the mark of bethis double-faced way are not yet out of witchery and magical fascination, and to fashion with many professions, and the inge- this day it is a malignant ill look; but when nious artists pretend to keep up this species it is forced and affected, it carries a wanton by double-headed canes and spoons; but design, and in playhouses, and other public there is no mark of this faculty. except in places, this ocular intimation is often an the emblematical way, of a wise general assignation for bad practices. But this irhaving an eye to both front and rear, or a regularity in vision, together with such pious man taking a review and prospect of enormities as tipping the wink, the circumhis past and future state at the same time. spective roll, the side-peep through a thin

“I must own, that the names, colours, hood or fan, must be put in the class of qualities and turns of eyes vary almost in heteroptics, as all wrong notions of religion every head; for, not to mention the common are ranked under the general name of appellations of the black, the blue, the heterodox. All the pernicious applications white, the grey, and the like; the most re- of sight are more immediately under the markable are those that borrow their titles direction of a Spectator, and I hope you from animals, by virtue of some particular will arm your readers against the mischiefs quality of resemblance they bear to the which are daily done by killing eyes, in eyes of the respective creatures; as that of which you will highly oblige your wounded a greedy rapacious aspect takes its name unknown friend,

T. B.' from the cat, that of a sharp piercing nature from the hawk, those of an amorous roguish

MR. SPECTATOR,-You professed in look derive their title even from the sheep, several papers your particular endeavours and we say such a one has a sheep's eye, in the province of Spectator, to correct the not so much to denote the innocence as the offences committed by Starers, who disturb simple slyness of the cast. Nor is this meta- whole assemblies without any regard to phorical inoculation a modern invention, for time, place, or modesty. You complained we find Homer taking the freedom to place also, that a starer is not usually a person to the eye of an ox, bull, or cow in one of his be convinced by the reason of the thing, nor principal goddesses, by that frequent ex- so easily rebuked as to amend by admonipression of

tions. I thought therefore fit to acquaint Βοωπις τοτνια 'Ηρη.

you with a convenient mechanical way, The ox-ey'd venerable Juno.

which may easily prevent or correct star“ Now as to the peculiar qualities of the ing, by an optical contrivance of new pereye, that fine part of our constitution seems spective-glasses, short and commodious like

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Ferrea vox

opera-glasses, fit for short-sighted people troller-general of the London Cries, which
as well as others, these glasses making the are at present under no manner of rules or
objects appear either as they are seen with discipline. I think I am pretty well quali-
the naked eye, or more distinct, though fied for this place, as being a man of very
somewhat less than life, or bigger and strong lungs, of_great insight into all the
ncarer. A person may by the help of this branches of our British trades and manufac-
invention, take a view of another without tures, and of a competent skill in music.
the impertinence of staring; at the same “The Cries of London may be divided
time it shall not be possible to know whom into vocal and instrumental. As for the lat-
or what he is looking at. One may look to- ter, they are at present under a very great
wards his right or left hand, when he is disorder. A freeman of London has the
supposed to look forwards. This is set forth privilege of disturbing a whole street for an
at large, in the printed proposals for the hour together, with the twanking of a brass-
sale of these glasses, to be had at Mr. Dil- kettle or a frying-pan. The watchman's
lon's in Long-Acre, next door to the White thump at midnight startles us in our beds,
Hart. Now, sir, as your Spectator has as much as the breaking in of a thief. The
occasioned the publishing of this invention sow-gelder's horn has indeed something
for the benefit of modest spectators, the in- musical in it, but this is seldom heard within
ventor desires your admonitions concerning the liberties. I would therefore propose,
the decent use of it; and hopes, by your that no instrument of this nature should be
recommendation, that for the future beauty made use of, which I have not tuned and
may be beheld without the torture and con- licensed, after having carefully examined
fusion which it suffers from the insolence of in what manner it may affect the ears of
starers. By this means you will relieve the her majesty's liege subjects.
innocent from an insult which there is no • Vocal cries are of a much larger extent,
law to punish, though it is a greater offence and indeed so full of incongruities and bar-
than many which are within the cognizance barisms, that we appear a distracted city
of justice. I am, sir, your most humble to foreigners, who do not comprehend the

ABRAHAM SPY.' meaning of such enormous outcries. Milk

is generally sold in a note above E-la, and

in sounds so exceeding shrill, that it often No. 251.] Tuesday, December 18, 1711.

sets our teeth on edge. The chimney

sweeper is confined to no certain pitch; he Linguæ centum sunt, oraque centum, sometimes utters himself in the deepest

Virg. Æn. vi. 625.

base, and sometimes in the sharpest treble; A hundred mouths, a hundred tongues, And throats of brass inspired with iron lungs.

sometimes in the highest, and sometimes in Dryden.

the lowest note of the gamut. The same THERE is nothing which more astonishes observation might be made on the retailers a foreigner, and frights a country squire, of small-coal, not to mention broken glasses than the Cries of London. My good friend or brick-dust. In these therefore, and the Sir Roger often declares that he cannot get like cases, it should be my care to sweeten them out of his head :r go to sleep for them, and mellow the voices of these itinerant the first week that he is in town. On the tradesmen, before they make their appearcontrary Will Honeycomb calls them the ance in our streets, as also to accommodate Ramage de la Ville, and prefers them to their cries to their respective wares: and to the sound of larks and nightingales, with take care in particular, that those may not all the music of the fields and woods. I make the most noise who have the least to have lately received a letter from some sell, which is very observable in the venders very odd fellow upon this subject, which I of card-matches, to whom I cannot but apshall leave with my reader, without saying ply the old proverb of “Much cry but little

wool.' any thing further of it.

"Some of these last-mentioned musicians "Sir, I am a man out of all business, are so very loud in the sale of these trifling and would willingly turn my head to any manufactures, that an honest splenetic genthing for an honest livelihood. I have in- tleman of my acquaintance bargained with vented several projects for raising many one of them' never to come into the street millions of money without burdening the where he lived. But what was the effect of subject, but I cannot get the parliament to this contract? why, the whole tribe of cardlisten to me, who look upon me, forsooth, match-makers which frequent that quaras a crack, and a projector; so that despair- ter, passed by his door the very next day, ing to enrich either myself or my country in hopes of being bought off after the same by this public-spiritedness, I would make manner. some proposals to you relating

to a design • It is another great imperfection in our which I have very much at heart, and London Cries, that there is no just time which may procure me a handsome sub- nor measure observed in them. Our news sistence, if you will be pleased to recom- should indeed be published in a very quick mend it to the cities of London and West- time, because it is a commodity that will minster.

not keep cold. It should not, however, be • The post I would aim at, is to be comp-I cried with the same precipitation as fire.

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