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fering in the most forlorn estate. It had | as their own respective studies and inclinaalso the ground-work of humanity and com- tions have prepared them, and make their passion in it, though the mind was then too reflections accordingly. Some, perusing Rodark and too deeply engaged to perceive man writers, would find in them, whatever it: but as we proceeded onward, it began to the subject of the discourses were, parts discover itself, and, from observing that which implied the grandeur of that people others were unhappy, we came to question in their warfare, or their politics. As for one another, when it was that we met, and my part, who am a mere Spectator, I drew what were the sad occasions that brought this morning conclusions of their eminence us together. Then we heard our stories, in what I think great, to wit, in having and compared them, we mutually gave worthy sentiments, from the reading a coand received pity, and so by degrees be-medy of Terence. The play was the Selfcame tolerable company.
Tormentor. It is from the beginning to the A considerable part of the troublesome end a perfect picture of human life; but I road was thus deceived; at length the open- did not observe in the whole one passage ings among the trees grew larger, the air that could raise a laugh. How well-disseemed thinner, it lay with less oppression posed must that people be, who could be upon us, and we could now and then discern entertained with satisfaction by so sober tracks in it of a lighter grayness, like the and polite mirth! In the first scene of the breakings of day, short in duration, much comedy, when one of the old men accuses enlivening, and called in that country the other of impertinence for interposing in gleams of amusement. Within a short his affairs, he answers, 'I am : man, and while these gleams began to appear more cannot help feeling any sorrow that can frequent, and then brighter and of a longer arrive at man.' It is said this sentence was continuance: the sighs that hitherto filled received with an universal applause. There the air with so much dolefulness, altered to cannot be a greater argument of the genethe sound of common breezes, and in gene- ral good understanding of a people than a ral the horrors of the island were abated. sudden consent to give their approbation of
When we had arrived at last at the ford a sentiment which has no emotion in it. If by which we were to pass out, we met with it were spoken with ever so great skill in those fashionable mourners who had been the actor, the manner of uttering that senferried over along with us, and who, being tence could have nothing in it which could unwilling to go as far as we, had coasted strike any but people of the greatest huby the shore to find the place, where they manity, nav, people elegant and skilful in waited our coming; that by showing them- observations upon it. It is possible he might selves to the world only at the time when have laid his hand on his breast, and, with we did, they might seem also to have been a winning insinuation in his countenance, among the troubles of the grotto. Here the expressed to his neighbour that he was a waters that rolled on the other side so deep man who made his case his own; yet I will and silent were much dried up, and it was engage a player in Covent-garden might an easier matter for us to wade over. hit such an attitude a thousand times be
The river being crossed, we were re- fore he would have been regarded. I have ceived upon the farther bank by our friends heard that a minister of state in the reign and acquaintance, whom Comfort had of queen Elizabeth had all manner of books brought cut to congratulate our appearance and ballads brought to him, of what kind in the world again. Some of these blamed soever, and took great notice how much us for staying so long away from them, they took with the people; upon which he others advised us against all temptations of would, and certainly might, very well going back; every one was cautious not to judge of their present dispositions, and the renew cur trouble, by asking any particu- most proper way of applying them accordlars of the journey; and all concluded that, ing to his own purposes. What passes on in a case of so much melancholy and afflic- the stage, and the reception it meets with tion, we could not have made choice of a from the audience, is a very useful instrucfitter companion than Patience. Here Pa- tion of this kind. According to what you tience, appearing serene at her praises, may observe on our stage, you see them delivered us over to Comfort. Comfort often moved so directly against all comsmiled at his receiving the charge: imme- mon sense and humanity, that you would be diately the sky purpled on that side to apt to pronounce us a nation of savages. It which he turned, and double day at once cannot be called a mistake of what is pleabroke in upon me.
sant, but the very contrary to it is what
most assuredly takes with them. The other No. 502.] Monday, October 6, 1712.
night, an old woman carried off with a pain
in her side, with all the distortions and anMelius, pejus, prosit, obeit, nil vident nisi quod lubent. guish of countenance which is natural to
one in that condition, was laughed at and Better or worse, profitable or disadvantageous, they clapped off the stage. Terence's comedy, see nothing but what they list. When men read, they taste the matter
* Homo gum, et nihil humanum e me alienum puto. with which they are entertained, according That touch humanity, come home to me.-Colunan
Ter. Heaut. Act iv. Sc. 1.
I am a man, and all calamities,
which I am speaking of, is indeed written / whole house at some times in so proper a as if he hoped to please none but such as disposition, that indeed I have trembled had as good a taste as himself. I could not for the boxes, and feared the entertainbut reflect upon the natural description of ment would end in a representation of the the innocent young woman made by the rape of the Sabines. servant to his master. "When I came to I would not be understood in this talk to the house,' said he, an old woman opened argue that nothing is tolerable on the stage the door, and I followed her in, because I but what has an immediate tendency to the could, by entering upon them unawares, promotion of virtue. On the contrary, I better observe what was your mistress's can allow, provided there is nothing against ordinary manner of spending her time, the the interests of virtue, and is not offensive only way of judging any one's inclinations to good manners, that things of an indifferand genius. "I found her at her needle in a ent nature may be represented. For this sort of second mourning, which she wore reason I have no exception to the wellfor an aunt she had lately lost. She had drawn rusticities in the Country Wake; nothing on but what showed she dressed and there is something so miraculously only for herself. Her hair hung negligently pleasant in Dogget's acting the awkward about her shoulders. She had none of the triumph and comic sorrow of Hob in differarts with which others use to set them- ent circumstances, that I shall not be able selves off, but had that negligence of person to stay away whenever it is acted. All that which is remarkable in those who are care- vexes me is, that the gallantry of taking ful of their minds. Then she had a maid the cudgels for Gloucestershire, with the who was at work near her that was a slat- pride of heart in tucking himself up, and tern, because her mistress was careless; taking aim at his adversary, as well as the which I take to be another argument of other's protestation in the humanity of low your security in her; for the go-betweens romance, that he could not promise the of women of intrigue are rewarded too well 'squire to break Hob's head, but he would, to be dirty. When you were named, and if he could do it in love; then flourish and I told her you desired to see her, she threw begin: I say what vexes me is, that such down her work for joy, covered her face, excellent touches as these, as well as the and decently hid her tears.' He must be 'squire's being out of all patience at Hob's a very good actor, and draw attention ra- success, and venturing himself into the ther from his own character than the words crowd, are circumstances hardly taken noof the author, that could gain it among us tice of, and the height of the jest is only in for this speech, though so full of nature and the very point that heads are broken. I good sense.
am confident, were there a scene written, The intolerable folly and confidence of wherein Pinkethman should break his leg players putting in words of their own, does by wrestling with Bullock, and Dicky in a great measure feed the absurd taste of come in to set it, without one word said but the audience. But however that is, it is what should be according to the exact rules ordinary for a cluster of coxcombs to take of surgery, in making this extension, and up the house to themselves, and equally binding up his leg, the whole house shouid insult both the actors and the company. be in a roar of applause at the dissembled These savages, who want all manner of re- anguish of the patient, the help given by gard and deference to the rest of mankind, him who threw him down, and the handy come only to show themselves to us, with- address and arch looks of the surgeon. out any other purpose than to let us know To enumerate the entrance of ghosts, the they despise us,
embattling of armies, the noise of heroes The gross of an audience is composed in love, with a thousand other enormiof two sorts of people, those who know no ties, would be to transgress the bounds pleasure but of the body, and those who of this paper, for which reason it is possia improve or command corporeal pleasures, ble they may have hereafter distinct dis by the addition of fine sentiments of the courses; not forgetting any of the audience mind. At present, the intelligent part of who shall set up for actors, and interrupt the company are wholly subdued by the the play on the stage; and players who insurrections of those who know no satis- shall prefer the applause of fools to that of factions but what they have in common the reasonable part of the company. T. with all other animals, This is the reason that when a scene
Postscript to the Spectator, No. 502. tending to procreation is acted, you see N. B. There are in the play of the Self the whole pit in such a chuckle, and old Tormentor of Terence, which is allowed a Jetchers, with mouths open, stare at those most excellent comedy, several incidents loose gesticulations on the stage with which would draw tears from any man of shameful earnestness: when the justest sense, and not one which would move his pictures of human life in its calm dignity, laughter.-Spect. in folio, No. 521. and the properest sentiments for the con- This speculation, No. 502, is controvertduct of it, pass by like mere narration, as ed in the Guard. No. 59, by a writer under conducing only to somewhat much better the fictitious name of John Lizard; perhaps which is to come after, I have seen the Doctor Edw, Young,
Tuesday, October 7, 1712. ed the churlish dislike and hesitation in Del 20 omnes dehinc ex animo mulieres.
approving what is excellent, too frequent
Ter. Eun. Act ii. Sc. 3. among us, to a general attention and enterFrom henceforward I blot out of my thoughts all me- tainment in observing her behaviour. All mory of womankind.
the while that we were gazing at her, she MR. SPECTATOR,—You have often took notice of no object about her, but had mentioned with great vehemence and in- an art of seeming awkwardly attentive, dignation the misbehaviour of people at whatever else her eyes were accidentally church; but I am at present to talk to you thrown upon. One thing indeed was paron that subject, and complain to you of one, ticular, she stood the whole service, and whom at the same time I know not what to never kneeled or sat; I lo not question but accuse of, except it be looking too well that it was to show herself with the greater there, and diverting the eyes of the congre- advantage, and set forth to better grace gation to that one object. However, I have her hands and arms, lifted up with the this to say, that she might have staid at her most ardent devotion; and her bosom, the own parish, and not come to perplex those fajrest that was ever seen, bare to observawho are otherwise intent upon their duty. tion; while she, you must think, knew no
•Last Sunday was seven-night I went thing of the concern she gave others, any into a church not far from London-bridge; other than as an example of devotion, that but I wish I had been contented to go to my threw herself out, without regard to dress own parish, I am sure it had been better or garment, all contrition, and loose of all for me; I say I went to church thither, and worldly regards in ecstacy of devotion. got into a pew very near the pulpit. I had Well; 'now the organ was to play a volunhardly been accommodated with a seat, tary, and she was so skilful in music, and before there entered into the aisle a young so touched with it, that she kept time not lady in the very bloom of youth and beauty, only with some motion of her head, but and dressed in the most elegant manner also with a different air in her countenance. imaginable. Her form was such that it When the music was strong and bold, she engaged the eyes of the whole congrega- looked exalted, but serious; when lively tion in an instant, and mine among the rest. and airy, she was smiling and gracious; Though we were all thus fixed upon her, when the notes were more soft and lanshe was not in the least out of countenance, guishing, she was kind and full of pity. or under the least disorder, though unat- When she had now made it visible to the tended by any one, and not seeming to whole congregation, by her motion and know particularly where to place herself. ear, that she could dance, and she wanted However, she had not in the least a confi- now only to inform us that she could sing dent aspect, but moved on with the most too; when the psalm was given out, her graceful modesty, every one making way un- voice was distinguished above all the rest, til she came to a seat just over-against that or rather people did not exert their own in in which I was placed. The deputy of the order to hear her. Never was any heard ward sat in that pew, and she stood oppo- so sweet and so strong. The organist obsite to him, and at a glance into the seat, served it, and he thought fit to play to her though she did not appear the least ac- only, and she swelled every note, when she quainted with the gentleman, was let in, found she had thrown us all out, and had with a confusion that spoke much admira- the last verse to herself in such a manner tion at the novelty of the thing. The ser- as the whole congregation was intent upon vice immediately began, and she composed her, in the same manner as we see in the herself for it with an air of so much good cathedrals they are on the person who ness and sweetness, that the confession sings alone the anthem. Well; it came which she uttered, so as to be heard where at last to the serion, and our young lady we sat, appeared an act of humiliation would not lose her part in that neither: for more than she had occasion for. The truth she fixed her eye upon the preacher, and is, her beauty had something so innocent, as he said any thing she approved, with and yet so sublime, that we all gazed upon one of Charles Mather's fine tablets she her like a phantom. None of the pictures set down the sentence, at once showing her which we behold of the best Italian paint- fine hand, the gold pen, her readiness in ers have any thing like the spirit which writing, and her judgment in choosing appeared in her countenance, at the differ- what to write. To sum up what I intend ent sentiments expressed in the several by this long and particular account, I apparts of divine service. That gratitude and peal to you, whether it is reasonable that joy at a thanksgiving, that lowliness and such a creature as this shall come from a sorrow at the prayers for the sick and dis- janty part of the town, and give herself tressed, that triumph at the passages which such violent airs, to the disturbance of an gave instances of the divine mercy, which innocent and inoffensive congregation, with appeared respectively in her aspect, will her sublimities. The fact, I assure you, be in my memory to my last hour. I pro- was as I have related: but I had like to test to you, sir, that she suspended the de- have forgot another very considerable par votion of every one around her; and the ticular. As soon as church was done, she ease she did every thing with, soon dispers- I immediately stepped out of her pew, and
fell into the finest pitty-patty air, forsooth, who have the Latin tongue, such as use to wonderfully out of countenance, tossing her make what they call golden verses, Comhead up and down, as she swam along the mend me also to those who have not brains body of the church. I, with several others enough for any of these exercises, and yeç of the inhabitants, followed her out, and do not give up their pretensions to mirth. saw her hold up her fan to a hackney- These can slap you on the back unawares, coach at a distance, who immediately came laugh loud, ask you how you do with a up to her, and she whipping into it with twang on your shoulders, say you are dull great nimbleness, pulled the door with a to-day, and laugh a voluntary to put you in bowing mien, as if she had been used to a humour; not to mention the laborious way better glass. She said aloud, “You know among the miner poets, of making things where to go," and drove off. By this time come into such and such a shape, as that of the best of the congregation was at the an egg, a hand, an axe, or any thing that church-door, and I could hear some say, nobody had ever thought on before for that "A very fine lady;" others, “I'll warrant purpose, or which would have cost them a you she is no better than she should be:" great deal of pains to accomplish if they and one very wise old lady said she ought did. But all these methods, though they to have been taken up. Mr. Spectator, I are mechanical, and may be arrived at think this matter lies wholly before you: with the smallest capacity, do not serve an for the offence does not come under any honest gentleman who wants wit for his law, though it is apparent this creature ordinary occasions; therefore it is absolutely came among us only to give herself airs, necessary that the poor in imagination and enjoy her full swing in being admired. should save something which may be serI desire you may print this, that she may viceable to them at all hours, upon all combe confined to her own parish; for I can mon occurrences. That which we call assure you there is no attending any thing punning is therefore greatly affected by else in a place where she is a novelty. men of sınall intellects. These men need She has been talked of among us ever not be concerned with you for the whole since, under the name of “the phantom:" sentence; but if they can say a quaint thing, but I would advise her to coine no more: or bring in a word which sounds like any for there is so strong a party made by the one word you have spoken to them, they women against her, that she must expect can turn the discourse, or distract you so they will not be excelled a second time in that you cannot go on, and by consequence, so outrageous a manner, without doing her if they cannot be as witty as you are, they some insult. Young women, who assume can hinder your being any wittier than they after this rate, and affect exposing them- are. Thus if you talk of a candle, he can selves to view in congregations at the other deal with you; and if you ask him to help end of the town, are not so mischievous, you to some bread, a punster should think because they are rivalled by more of the himself very ill-bred' if he did not; and if same ambition, who will not let the rest he is not as 'well-bred' as yourself, he of the company be particular: but in the hopes for 'grains' of allowance. If you do name of the whole congregation where I not understand that last fancy, you must was, I desire you to keep these agreeable recollect that bread is made of grain; and disturbances out of the city, where sobriety so they go on for ever, without possibility of manners is still preserved, and all glar- of being exhausted. ing and ostentatious behaviour, even in There are another kind of people of small things laudable, discountenanced. I wish faculties, who supply want of wit with want you may never see the phantom, and am, of breeding; and because women are both sir, your most humble servant,
by nature and education more offended at T. RALPH WONDER.” any thing which is immodest than we men
are, these are ever harping upon things they
ought not to allude to, and deal mightily in No. 504.] Wednesday, October 8, 1712.
double meanings. Every one's own ob
servation will suggest instances enough of Lepus tute es, et pulpamentum quæris.
this kind, without my mentioning any; for You are a hare yourself, and want dainties, forsooth. down through all parts of the town or city
your double meaners are dispersed up and It is a great convenience to those who where there are any to offend, in order to want wit to furnish out a conversation, that set off themselves. These men are mighty there is something or other in all companies loud laughers, and held very pretty gentle where it is wanted substituted in its stead, men with the sillier and unbred part of which, according to their taste, does the womankind. But above all already menbusiness as well. Of this nature is the tioned, or any who ever were, or ever can agreeable pastime in country-halls of cross be in the world, the happiest and surest to purposes, questions and commands, and the be pleasant, are a sort of people whom we like. A little superior to these are those have not indeed lately heard much of, and who can play at crambo, or cap verses. those are your biters.' Then above them are such as can make A biter is one who tells you a thing you verses, that is, rhyme; and among those I have no reason to disbelieve in itself, and
Ter. Eun. Act iii. Sc. 1.
perhaps has given you, before he bit you, for the future will ever be able to equal, no reason to disbelieve it for his saying it; though I heartily wish him the same occaand, if you give him credit, laughs in your sion. It is a superstition with some sur face, and triumphs that he has deceived geons who beg the bodies of condemned you, In a word, a biter is one who thinks malefactors, to go to the gaol, and bargain you a fool, because you do not think him a for the carcase with the criminal himself, knave. This description of him one may A good honest fellow did so last sessions, insist upon to be a just one; for what else and was admitted to the condemned men but a degree of knavery is it, to depend on the morning wherein they died. The upon deceit for what you gain of another, surgeon communicated his business, and be it in point of wit, or interest, or any fell into discourse with a little fellow, who thing else?
refused twelve shillings, and insisted upon This way of wit is called biting,' by a fifteen for his body. The fellow, who killed metaphor taken from beasts of prey, which the officer of Newgate, very forwardly, and devour harmless and unarmed animals, and like a man who was willing to deal, told look upon them as their food wherever they him, 'Look you, Mr. Surgeon, that little meet them. The sharpers about town very dry fellow, who has been half starved all his ingeniously understood themselves to be to life, and is now half dead with fear, cannot the undesigning part of mankind what foxes answer your purpose. I have ever lived are to lambs, and therefore used the word highly and freely, my veins are full, I have biting, to express any exploit wherein they not pined in imprisonment; you see my had over-reached any innocent and inad- crest swells to your knife; and after Jack vertent man of his purse. These rascals of Catch has done, upon my honour you will late years have been the gallants of the find me as sound as ever a bullock in any town, and carried it with a fashionable of the markets. Come, for twenty shillings haughty air, to the discouragement of I am your man.' Says the surgeon, ' Done, modesty, and all honest arts. Shallow fops, there is a guinea.' This witty rogue took who are governed by the eye, and admire the money, and as soon as he had it in his every thing that struts in vogue, took up fist, cries, Bite; I am to be hung in chains.' from the sharpers the phrase of biting, and
T. used it upon all occasions, either to disown any nonsensical stuff they should talk themselves, or evade the force of what was reasonably said by others. Thus, when one of No. 505.] Thursday, October 9, 1712. these cunning creatures was entered into a debate with you, whether it was practicable Non habeo denique nauci marsum augurem, in the present state of affairs to accomplish Non Isiacos conjectores, non interpretes somnium; such a proposition, and you thought he had Non enim sunt ii, aut scientia, aut arte divina, let fall what destroyed his side of the ques- Aut inertes, aut insani, aut quibus egestas imperat:
Sed superstitiosi vates, impudentesque harioli, tion, as socn as you looked with an earnest- Qui sui questus causa fictas suscitant sententias, ness ready to lay hold of it, he immediately Qui sibi semitam non sapiunt, alteri monstrant viam, cried, • Bite,' and you were immediately to
Quibus divitias pollicentur, ab iis drachmam petunt: acknowledge all that part was in jest. They De diviliis deducant drachınam, reddant cætera. carry this to all the extravagance imagin
Augurs and soothsayers, astrologers, able; and if one of these witlings knows any Diviners, and interpreters of dreams, particulars which may give authority to
I ne'er consult, and heartily despise: what he says, he is still the more ingenious
Vain their pretence to more than human skill:
For gain, imaginary schemes they draw; if he imposes upon your credulity. I re- Wand'rers themselves, they guide another's steps; member a remarkable instance of this kind. And for poor sixpence promise countless wealth: There came up a shrewd young fellow to
Let them, if they expect to be believed,
Deduct the sixpence, and bestow the rest. a plain young man, his countryman, and taking him aside with a grave concerned Those who have maintained that men countenance, goes on at this rate: "I see would be more miserable than beasts, were you here, and have you heard nothing out their hopes confined to this life only, among of Yorkshire?-You look so surprised, you other considerations take notice that the could not have heard of it and yet the latter are only afflicted with the anguish of particulars are such that it cannot be false: the present evil, whereas the former are I am sorry I am got into it so far that I very often pained by the reflection on what must tell you; but I know not but it may be is passed, and the fear of what is to come. for your service to know. On Tuesday last, This fear of any future difficulties or misjust after dinner-you know his manner is fortunes is so natural to the mind, that to smoke-opening his box, your father fell were a man's sorrows and disquietudes down dead in an apoplexy' The youth summed up at the end of his life, it would showed the filial sorrow which he ought-generally be found that he had suffered Upon which the witty man cried, Bite, more from the apprehension of such evils there was nothing in all this.'
as never happened to him, than from those To put an end to this silly, pernicious, evils which had really befallen him. To frivolous way I will give the reader this we may add, that among those evils one late instance of a bite, which no biter, which befall us, there are many which have Vol. II,