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alone, I should be highly obliged to my especially in the domestic, or matrimonial correspondents if they would give in lists of part of it, to preserve always a disposition persons qualified for this trust. If the chief to be pleased. This cannot be supported coffee-houses, the conversations of which but by considering things in their right places are carried on by persons, each of light, and as Nature has formed them, and whom has his little number of followers not as our own fancies or appetites would and admirers, would name from among have them. He then who took a young themselves two or three to be inserted, they lady to his bed, with no other considerashould be put up with great faithfulness. tion than the expectation of scenes of dalOld beaus are to be represented in the first liance, and thought of her (as I said before) place; but as that sect, with relation to only as she was to administer to the gratidress, is almost extinct, it will, I fear, be fication of desire; as that desire flags, will, absolutely necessary to take in all time without her fault, think her charms and servers, properly so deemed; that is, such her merit abated: from hence must follow as, without any conviction of conscience, or indifference, dislike, peevishness, and rage. view of interest, change with the world, But the man who brings his reason to supand that merely from a terror of being out port his passion, and beholds what he loves of fashion. Such also, who from facility of as liable to all the calamities of human life, temper, and too much obsequiousness, are both in body and mind, and even at the vicious against their will, and follow leaders best what must bring upon him new cares, whom they do not approve, for want of and new relations; such a lover, I say, will courage to go their own way, are capable form himself accordingly, and adapt his persons for this superintendency. Those mind to the nature of his circumstances, who are loth to grow old, or would do any This latter person will be prepared to be a thing contrary to the course and order of father, a friend, an advocate, a steward for things, out of fondness to be in fashion, are people yet unborn, and has proper affecproper candidates. To conclude, those who tions ready for every incident in the marare in fashion without apparent merit, must riage state. Such a man can hear the cries be supposed to have latent qualities, which of children with pity instead of anger; and, would appear in a post of direction; and when they run over his head, he is not distherefore are to be regarded in forming turbed at their noise, but is glad of their these lists. Any who shall be pleased ac- mirth and health. Tom Trusty has told cording to these, or what farther qualifica- me, that he thinks it doubles his attention tions may occur to himself, to send a list, is to the most intricate affair he is about, to desired to do it within fourteen days from hear his children, for whom all his cares this date.

are applied, make a noise in the next room: N. B. The place of the physician to this on the other side, Will Sparkish cannot society, according to the last mentioned put on his periwig, or adjust his cravat at the qualification, is already engaged. T, glass, for the noise of those damned nurses

and squalling brats; and then ends with a

gallant reflection upon the comforts of maNo, 479.] Tuesday, September 9, 1712.

trimony, runs out of the hearing, and drives

to the chocolate-house. -Dare jura maritis.

According as the husband is disposed in To regulate the matrimonial life.

himself, every circumstance of his life is to

give him torment or pleasure. When the Many are the epistles I every day receive affection is well placed, and supported by from husbands who complain of vanity, the considerations of duty, honour, and pride, but, above all, ill-nature in their friendship, which are in the highest degree wives. I cannot tell how it is, but I think engaged in this alliance, there can nothing I see in all their letters that the cause of rise in the common course of life, or from their uneasiness is in themselves; and indeed the blows or favours of fortune, in which a I have hardly ever observed the married man will not find matters of some delight condition unhappy, but for want of judg- unknown to a single condition. ment or temper in the man. The truth is, He who sincerely loves his wife and fawe generally make love in a style and with mily, and studies to improve that affection sentiments very unfit for ordinary life: they in himself, conceives pleasure from the are half theatrical and half romantic. Bý most indifferent things; while the married this means we raise our imaginations to man, who has not bid adieu to the fashions what is not to be expected in human life; and false gallantries of the town, is perand, because we did not beforehand think plexed with every thing around him. In of the creature we are enamoured of, as both these cases men cannot, indeed, make subject to dishonour, age, sickness, im- a sillier figure than in repeating such pleapatience, or sullenness, but altogether con- sures and pains to the rest of the world; sidered her as the object of joy; human but I speak of them only as they sit upon nature itself is often imputed to her as her those who are involved in them. As I visit particular imperfection, or defect,

all sorts of people, I cannot indeed but I take it to be a rule, proper to be ob- smile, when the good lady tells her husband served in all occurrences of life, but more what extraordinary things .the child spoke

Hor. Ars Poet. 398.

since he went out. No longer than yester-| tippe, that I bear so well your fying out in day I was prevailed with to go home with a dispute.' To another, My hen clacks a fond husband: and his wife told him, that very much, but she brings me chickens. his son, of his own head, when the clock in They that live in a trading street are not the parlour struck two, said papa would disturbed at the passage of carts.' I would come home to dinner presently. While have, if possible, a wise man be contented the father has him in a rapture in his arms, with his sot, even with a shrew; for, though and is drowning him with kisses, the wife he cannot make her better, he may, you tells me he is but just four years old. Then see, make himself better by her means. they both struggle for him, and bring him But, instead of pursuing my design of up to me, and repeat his observation of two displaying conjugal love in its natural beauo'clock. I was called upon, by looks upon ties and attractions, I am got into tales to the child, and then at me, to say some- the disadvantage of that state of life. I thing; and I told the father that this remark must say, therefore, that I am verily perof the infant of his coming home, and join- suaded, that whatever is delightful in human ing the time with it, was a certain indica- life is to be enjoyed in greater perfection in tion that he would be a great historian and the married than in the single condition. chronologer. They are neither of them He that has this passion in perfection, in fools, yet received my compliment with occasions of joy, can say to himself, besides great acknowledgment of my prescience. his own satisfaction, “How happy will this I fared very well at dinner, and heard make my wife and children!' Upon occurmany other notable sayings of their heir, rences of distress or danger, can comfort which would have given very little enter- himself: “But all this while my wife and tainment to one less turned to reflection children are safe.'. There is something in than I was: but it was a pleasing specula- | it that doubles satisfactions, because others tion to remark on the happiness of a life, in participate them; and dispels afflictions, which things of no moment give occasion because others are exempt from them. All of hope, self-satisfaction, and triumph. On who are niarried without this relish of their the other hand, I have known an ill-natured circumstances, are in either a tasteless incoxcomb, who has hardly improved in any dolence and negligence, which is hardly to thing but bulk, for want of this disposition, be attained, or else live in the hourly repesilence the whole family as a set of silly tition of sharp answers, eager upbraidings, women and children, for recounting things and distracting reproaches. In a word, the which were really above his own capacity. married state, with and without the affec

When I say all this, I cannot deny but tion suitable to it, is the completest image there are perverse jades that fall to men's of heaven and hell we are capable of relots, with whom it requires more than com-ceiving in this life. mon proficiency in philosophy to be able to live. " When these are joined to men of warm spirits, without temper or learning, No. 480.] Wednesday, September 10, 1712. they are frequently corrected with stripes; Responsare cupidinibus, contemnere honoree, but one of our famous lawyers* is of opinion, Fortis, et in seipso totus teres, atque rotundus. *that this ought to be used sparingly;' as I remember, those are his very words: but

He, sir, is proof to grandeur, pride, or pell, as it is pro to draw some spiritual use Not to and fro by fears and factions hurld, out of all afflictions, I should rather recom- But loose to all ibe interests of the world;' mend to those who are visited with women

And while the world turns round, entire and whole, of spirit, to form themselves for the world

He keeps the sacred tenor of his soul.-- Pitt. by patience at home. Socrates, who is by The other day, looking over those old all accounts the undoubted head of the sect manuscripts of which I have formerly of the hen-pecked, owned and acknow- given some account, and which relate to ledged that he owed great part of his virtue the character of the mighty Pharamond of to the exercise which his useful wife con- France, and the close friendship between stantly gave it. There are several good him and his friend Eucrate, I found among instructions may be drawn from his wise the letters which had been in the custody answers to the people of less fortitude than of the latter, an epistle from a country genhimself on her subject. A friend, with in- tleman to Pharamond, wherein he excuses dignation, asked how so good a man could himself from coming to court. The genlive with so violent a creature? He ob- tleman, it seems, was contented with his served to him, that they who learn to keep condition, had formerly been in the king's a good seat on horse-back, mount the least service; but at the writing the following manageable they can get; and, when they letter, had, from leisure and reflection, have mastered them, they are sure never quite another sense of things than that to be discomposed on the backs of steeds which he had in the more active part of less restive. At several times, to different his life. persons, on the same subject he has said, * My dear friend, you are beholden to Xan

Monsieur Chezluy to Pharamond.

‘DREAD SIR,—I have from your own .* Bracton.

hand (enclosed under the cover of Mr.

T.

Hor. Sat. vii. Lib. 2. 65.

And, greater still, he's master of himself:

Eucrate, of your majesty's bed-chamber) a tell you, sir, this is the reason that we in letter which invites me to court. I under the country hear so often repeated the stand this great honour to be done me out word prerogative. That part of your law of respect and inclination to me, rather which is reserved in yourself, for the reathan regard to our own service; for which dier service and good of the public, slight reason I beg leave to lay before your ma- men are eternally buzzing in our ears, to

jesty my reasons for declining to depart cover their own follies and miscarriages. from home; and will not doubt but, as your It would be an addition to the high favour motive in desiring my attendance was to you have done me, if you would let Eucrate make me a happier man, when you think send me word how often, and in what cases, that will not be effected by my remove, you allow a constable to insist upon the you will permit me to stay where I am. prerogative. From the highest to the lowThose who have an ambition to appear in est officer in your dominions, something of courts, have either an opinion that their their own carriage they would exempt persons or their talents are particularly from examination, under the shelter of the formed for the service or ornament of that word prerogative. I would fain, most noble place! or else are hurried by downright Pharamond, see one of your officers assert desire of gain, or what they call honour, your prerogative by good and gracious acto take upon themselves whatever the tions. When is it used to help the afflicted, generosity of their master can give them to rescue the innocent, to comfort the opportunities to grasp at. But your good- stranger? Uncommon methods, apparently ness shall not be thus imposed upon by me: undertaken to attain worthy ends, would I will therefore confess to you, that fre- never make power invidious. You see, sir, quent solitude, and long conversation with I talk to you with the freedom your noble such who know no arts which polish life, nature approves in all whom you admit to have made me the plainest creature in your your conversation. dominions. Those less capacities of moving • But, to return to your majesty's letter, with a good grace, bearing a ready affa- I humbly conceive that all distinctions are bility to all around me, and acting with useful to men, only as they are to act in ease before many, have quite left me. I public; and it would be a romantic madness am come to that, with regard to my per- for a man to be lord in his closet. Nothing son, that I consider it only as a machine I can be honourable to a man apart from the am obliged to take care of, in order to en- world, but reflection upon worthy actions; joy my soul in its faculties with alacrity; and he that places honour in a consciouswell remembering that this habitation of ness of well doing will have but little relish clay will in a few years be a meaner piece for any outward homage that is paid him, of earth than any utensil about my house. since what gives him distinction to himself, When this is, as it really is, the most fre- cannot come within the observation of his quent reflection I have, you will casily beholders. Thus all the words of lordship, imagine how well I should become a draw honour, and grace, are only repetitions to ing-room: add to this, what shall a mian a man that the king has ordered him to be without desires do about the generous l'ha- called so; but no evidences that there is any ramond? Monsieur Eucrate has hinted to thing in himself, that would give the man, me, that you have thoughts of distinguish-who applies to him, those ideas, without ing me with titles. As for myself, in the the creation of his master. temper of my present mind, appellations “I have, most noble Pharamond, all hoof honour would but embarrass discourse, nours and all titles in your approbation: I and new behaviour towards me perplex ine triumph in them as they are in your gift, I in every habitude of life. I am also to as refuse them as they are to give me the knowledge to you, that my children of observation of others. Indulge me, my noble whom your majesty condescended to in master, in this chastity of renown; let me quire, are all of them mean, both in their know niyself in the favour of Pharamond; persons and genius. The estate my eldest and look down upon the applause of the son is heir to, is more than he can enjoy people. I am, in all duty and loyalty, your with a good grace. My self-love will not majesty's most obedient subject and sercarry me so far as to impose upon mankind vant,

JEAN CHEZLUY.' the advancement of persons (merely for their being related to me) into high distinc SIR, I need not tell with what disadtions, who ought for their own sakes, as well vantages men of low fortunes and great as that of the public, to affect obscurity. Inodesty come into the world; what wrong wish, my generous prince, as it is in your measures their diffidence of themselves, power to give honours and offices, it were and fear of offending, often oblige them to also to give talents suitable to them: were take; and what a pity it is that their greatest it so, the noble l'haramond would reward virtues and qualities, that should soonest the zeal of my youth with abilities to do recommend them, are the main obstacles him service in my age.

in the way of their preferment. • Those who accept of favour without • This, sir, is my case; I was bred at a merit, support themselves in it at the ex-country-school, where I learned Latin and pense of your majesty. Give me leave to l Greek. The misfortunes of my family Vol. II.

30

T.

Uti non

Hor. Sat. vii. Lib. 1. 19.

at.

forced me up to town, where a profession between Count Rechteren and Monsieur of the politer sort has protected me against Mesnager, which employs the wise heads infamy and want. I am now clerk to a of so many nations, and holds all the affairs lawyer, and, in times of vacancy and re- of Europe in suspense. cess from business, have made myself mas- Upon my going into a coffee-house yester of Italian and French; and though the terday, and lending an ear to the next table, progress I have made in my business has which was encompassed with a circle of gained me reputation enough for one of my inferior politicians, one of them, after havstanding, yet my mind suggests to me every ing read over the news very attentively, day, that it is not upon that foundation I broke out into the following remarks: 1 am to build my fortune.

am afraid,' says he, 'this unhappy rupture “The person I have my present depen- between the footmen at Utrecht will retard dence upon has in his nature, as well as in the peace of Christendom. I wish the pope his power, to advance me, by recommend may not be at the bottom of it. His holiing me to a gentleman that is going beyond ness has a very good hand in fomenting a sea, in a public employment. I know the division, as the poor Swiss cantons have printing this letter would point me out to lately experienced to their cost. If Monthose I want confidence to speak to, and I sieur What-d’ye-call-him's domestics will hope it is not in your power to refuse mak- not come to an accommodation, I do not ing any body happy. "Yours, &c.

know how the quarrel can be ended but by "September 9, 1712.

M, D.' a religious war.

•Why, truly,' says a wiseacre that sat by him, 'were I as the king of France, I would scorn to take part with the footmen

of either side; here's all the business of EuNo. 481.] Thursday, September 11, 1712.

rope stands still, because Monsieur Mesna

ger's man has had his head broke. If Count Compositus melius cum Bitho Bacchius: id jus

Rectrum* had given them a pot of ale after Acres procurrunt

it, all would have been well, without any

of this bustle; but they say he's a warm Who shall decide when doctors disagree,

man, and does not care to be made mouths And soundest casuists doubt like you and me ?

Pope.

Upon this, one that had held his tongue It is sometimes pleasant enough to con- hitherto began to exert himself; declaring, sider the different notions which different that he was very well pleased the plenipopersons have of the same thing. If men tentiaries of our Christian princes took this of low condition very often set a value on matter into their serious consideration; for things which are not prized by those who that lackeys were never so saucy and pragare in a higher station of life, there are matical as they are now-a-days, and that many things these esteem which are in no he should be glad to see them taken down value among persons of an inferior rank. in the treaty of peace, if it might be done Common people are, in particular, very without prejudice to the public affairs. much astonished when they hear of those One who sat at the other end of the table, solemn contests and debates, which are and seemed to be in the interests of the made among the great upon the punctilios French king, told them, that they did not of a public ceremony; and wonder to hear take the matter right, for that his most that any business of consequence should Christian majesty did not resent this matter be retarded by those little circumstances, because it was an injury done to Monsieur which they represent to themselves as Mesnager's footmen; for,' says he, 'what trilling and insignificant. I am mightily are Monsieur Mesnager's footmen to him? pleased with a porter's decision in one of but because it was done to his subjects. Mr. Southern's plays, which is founded Now,' says he, 'let me tell you, it would upon that fine distress of a virtuous wo- look very odd for a subject of France to man's marrying a second husband, while have a bloody nose, and his sovereign not her first was yet living. The first husband, to take notice of it. He is obliged in howho was supposed to have been dead, re- nour to defend his people against hostilities; turning to his house, after a long absence, and if the Dutch will be so insolent to a raises a noble perplexity for the tragic part crowned head, as in any wise to cuff or of the play. In the meanwhile the nurse kick those who are under his protection, I and the porter conferring upon the diffi- think he is in the right to call them to an culties that would ensue in such a case, account for it.' honest Samson thinks the matter may be This distinction set the controversy upon easily decided, and solves it very judiciously a new foot, and seemed to be very well by the old proverb, that if his first master approved by most that heard it, until a be still living, the man must have his little warm fellow, who had declared himmare again. There is nothing in my time self a friend to the house of Austria, fell which has so much surprised and con- most unmercifully upon his Gallic majesty, founded the greatest part of my honest countrymen, as the present controversy

* Count Rechteren.

as encouraging his subjects to make mouths the name of a club, who, he tells me, meet at their betters, and afterwards screening as often as their wives will give them leave, them from the punishment that was due to and stay together till they are sent for their insolence. To which he added, that home. He informs me that my paper has adthe French nation was so addicted to gri- ministered great consolation to their whole mace, that, if there was not a stop put to club, and desires me to give some farther acit at the general congress, there would be count of Socrates, and to acquaint them in no walking the streets for them in a time of whose reign he lived, whether he was a peace, especially if they continued masters citizen or a courtier, whether he buried of the West Indies. The little man pro- Xantippe, with many other particulars: for ceeded with a great deal of warmth, de- that by his sayings, he appears to have been claring that, if the allies were of his mind, a very wise man, and a good Christian. he would oblige the French king to burn Another who writes himself Benjamin his galleys, and tolerate the protestant re- Bamboo, tells me that, being coupled with ligion in his dominions, before he would a shrew, he had endeavoured to tame her sheath his sword. He concluded with call- by such lawful means as those which I ing Monsieur Mesnager an insignificant mentioned in my last Tuesday's paper, and prig:

that in his wrath he had often gone farther The dispute was now growing very warm, than Bracton always allows in those cases: and one does not know where it would have but that for the future he was resolved to ended, had not a young man of about one- bear it like a man of temper and learning, and-twenty, who seems to have been brought and consider her only as one who lives in up with an eye to the law, taken the debate his house to teach him philosophy. Tom into his hand, and given it as his opinion, Dapperwit says that he agrees with me in that neither Count Rechteren nor Monsieur that whole discourse, excepting only the Mesnager had behaved themselves right in last sentence, where í affirm the married this affair. •Count Rechteren,' says he, state to be either a heaven or a hell. Tom should have made affidavit that his ser- has been at the charge of a penny upon vant had been affronted, and then Monsieur this occasion to tell me, that by his expeMesnager would have done him justice, by rience it is neither one nor the other, but taking away their liveries from them, or rather that middle kind of state, commonly some other way that he might have thought known by the name of purgatory: the most proper; for, let me tell you, if a The fáir-sex have likewise obliged me man makes a mouth at me, I am not to with their reflections upon the same disknock the teeth out of it for his pains. course. A lady, who calls herself Euterpe, Then again, as for Monsieur Mesnager, and seems a woman of letters, asks me upon his servant's being beaten, why he whether I am for establishing the Salic law might have had his action of assault and in every family, and why it is not fit that a battery. But as the case now stands, if you woman who has discretion and learning will have my opinion, I think they ought should sit at the helm, when the husband to bring it to referees.'

is weak and illiterate? Another, of a quite I heard a great deal more of this confer- contrary character, subscribes herself Xanence, but I must confess with little edifica- tippe, and tells me that she follows the tion, for all I could learn at last from these example of her namesake; for being marhonest gentlemen was, that the matter in ried to a bookish man, who has no knowdebate was of too high a nature for such ledge of the world, she is forced to take heads as theirs, or mine, to comprehend. their affairs into her own hands, and to O,

spirit him up now and then, that he may not grow musty, and unfit for conversation.

After this abridgment of some letters No. 482.] Friday, September 12, 1712.

which are come to my hands upon this oc

casion, I shall publish one of them at large. Floriferis ut apes in saltibus omnia libant.

"Mr. SPECTATOR,-You have given us As from the sweetest flowers the lab'ring bee

a lively picture of that kind of husband Extracts her precious sweets.-Creech.

who comes under the denomination of the

hen-pecked; but I do not remember that When I have published any single paper you have ever touched upon one that is that falls in with the popular taste, and quite of the different character, and who, pleases more than ordinary, it always brings in several places of England, goes by the me in a great return of letters. My Tues- name of a cot-queen. I have the misforday's discourse, wherein I gave several tune to be joined for life with one of this admonitions to the fraternity of the hen- character, who in reality is more a woman pecked, has already produced me very than I am. He was bred up under the tuis many correspondents; the reason I cannot tion of a tender mother, till she had made guess, unless it be, that such a discourse is him as good a housewife as herself. of general use, and every married man's could preserve apricots, and make jellies, money. An honest tradesman, who dates his before he had been two years out of the letter from Cheapside, sends me thanks in nursery. He was never suffered to go

Lucr. Lib. iii. 11.

He

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