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describe a right woman in a laudable sense, I yourself more usefully than in adjusting the she should have gentle softness, tender | laws of disputation in coffee-houses and accifear, and all those parts of life which dis- dental companies, as well as in more formal tinguish her from the other sex; with some debates. Among many other things which subordination to it, but such an inferiority your own experience must suggest to you, that makes her still more lovely. Eucratia it will be very obliging if you please to take is that creature, she is all over woman, notice of wagerers. I will not here repeat kindness is all her art, and beauty all her what Hudibras says of such disputants, arms. Her look, her voice, her gesture, which is so true, that it is almost proverand whole behaviour is truly feminine. A bial; but shall only acquaint you with a set goodness mixed with fear gives a tincture of young fellows of the inns of court, whose to all her behaviour. It would be savage fathers have provided for them so plentito offend her, and cruelty to use art to gain fully, that they need not be very anxious to her. Others are beautiful, but, Eucratia, get law into their heads for the service of thou art beauty!
their country at the bar; but are of those Omniamanté is made for deceit, she has who are sent (as the phrase of parents is,) an aspect as innocent as the famed Lucrece, to the Temple to know how to keep their but a mind as wild as the more famed Cleo-own,' One of these gentlemen is very loud patra. Her face speaks a vestal, but her and captious at a coffee-house which I freheart a Messalina. Who that beheld Om quent, and being in his nature troubled with niamante's negligent unobserving air, would a humour of contradiction, though withal believe that she hid under that regardless excessively ignorant, he has found a way manner the witty prostitute, the rapacious to indulge this temper, go on in idleness wench, the prodigal courtesan? She can, and ignorance, and yet still give himself when she pleases, adorn those eyes with the air of a very learned and knowing man, tears like an infant that is chid; she can by the strength of his pocket. The miscast down that pretty face in confusion, fortune of the thing is, I have, as it hapwhile you rage with jealousy, and storm at pens sometimes, a greater stock of learning her perfidiousness; she can wipe her eyes, than of money. The gentleman I am speakîremble and look frighted, until you think ing of takes advantage of the narrowness of yourself a brute for your rage, own yourself my circumstances in such a manner, that an offender, beg pardon, and make her new he has read all that I can pretend to, and presents.
runs me down with such a positive air, and But I go too far in reporting only the with such powerful arguments, that from dangers in beholding the beauteous, which a very learned person I am thought a mere I design for the instruction of the fair as pretender. Not long ago I was relating well as their beholders; and shall end this that I had read such a passage in Tacitus, Thapsody with mentioning what I thought up starts my young gentleman in a full comwas well enough said of an ancient sage* to pany, and pulling out his purse offered to a beautiful youth, whom he saw admiring lay me ten guineas, to be staked immehis own figure in brass. What,' said the diately in that gentleman's hands, (pointing philosopher, “could that image of yours say to one smoking at another table,) that I was for itself if it could speak? It might say, utterly mistaken. I was dumb for want of (answered the youth,) that it is very beau- ten guineas; he went on unmercifully to tiful.'-'And are not you ashamed,' re- triumph over my ignorance how to take him plied the cynic, 'to value yourself upon up, and told the whole room he had read that only of which a piece of brass is ca- | Tacitus twenty times over, and such a repable?
T, markable incident as that could not escape
him. He has at this time three considerable wagers depending between him and some
of his companions, who are rich enough No. 145.] Thursday, August 16, 1711.
to hold an argument with him. He has five Stultitiam patiuntur opes-
guineas upon questions in geography, two Hor. Lib. 1. Ep. xviii. 29. that the Isle of Wight is a peninsula, and Their folly pleads the privilege of wealth.
three guincas to one that the world is If the following enormities are not
round. We have a gentleman comes to our amended upon the first mentioning, I de
coffee-house, who deals mightily in ansire further notice from my correspon
tique scandal; my disputant has laid him dents.
twenty pieces upon a point of history, to
wit, that Cæsar never lay with Cato's sister, MR. SPECTATOR,- I am obliged to you as is scandalously reported by some people. for your discourse the other day upon frívo-. •There are several of this sort of fellows lovs disputants, who, with great warmth and in town, who wager themselves into statesenumeration of many circumstances and au- men, historians, geographers, mathematithorities, undertake to prove matters which cians, and every other art, when the pernobody living denies. You cannot employ sons with whom they talk have not wealth
equal to their learning. I beg of you to Antisthenes, ibe founder of the sect of Cynic philo. prevent, in these youngsters, this compensophers.
idious way to wisdom, which costs other
people so much time and pains: and you will wire, to increase and sustain the bunch of oblige your humble servant.
fold that hangs down on each side; and the Coffee-house near the Temple, Aug. 12, 1711.
| hat, I perceive is decreased in just proporMR. SPECTATOR, -Here is a young tion to our
tion to our head-dresses. We make a regugentleman that sings opera-tunes or whis- | lar figure, but I defy your mathematics to tles in a full house. Pray let him know give name to the form you appear in. Your that he has no right to act here as if he architecture is mere gothic, and betrays a were in an empty room. Be pleased to worse genius than ours; therefore if you are divide the spaces of a public room, and cer partial to your own sex, I shall be less than tify whistlers, singers, and common orators, I am now, your humble servant.' T. that are heard farther than their portion of the room comes to, that the law is open, and that there is an equity which will re-No. 146.1 Friday, August 17, 1711. lieve us from such as interrupt us in our lawful discourse, as much as against such Nemo vir magnus sine aliquo afflatu divino unquam fuit.
Tull who stop us on the road. I take these persons, Mr. Spectator, to be such trespassers
No man was ever great without some degree of inspi
ration. as the officer in your stage-coach, and am of the same sentiment with counsellor
We know the highest pleasure our minds Ephraim. It is true the young man is rich,
are capable of enjoying with composure, and, as the vulgar say, needs not care for
when we read sublime thoughts communiany body; but sure that is no authority for
cated to us by men of great genius and elohim to go whistle where he pleases. I am,
quence. Such is the entertainment we meet sir, your most humble servant.
with in the philosophic parts of Cicero's P.S. I have chambers in the Temple,
writings. Truth and good sense have there and here are students that learn upon the
so charming a dress, that they could hardly hautboy: pray desire the benchers that all
be more agreeably represented with the lawyers who are proficients in wind-music
addition of poetical fiction, and the power
of numbers. This ancient author, and a may lodge to the Thames.'
modern one, have fallen into my hands *MR. SpectATOR.-We are a company within these few days; and the impressions of young women who pass our time very they have left upon me have at the present much together, and obliged by the merce- quite spoiled me for a merry fellow. The nary humour of the men to be as merce- modern is that admirable writer the author narily inclined as they are. There visits of the Theory of the Earth. The subjects among us an old bachelor whom each of with which I have lately been entertained us has a mind to. The fellow is rich, and in them both bear a near affinity; they knows he may have any of us, therefore are upon inquiries into hereafter, and the is particular to none, but excessively ill-thoughts of the latter seem to me to be bred. His pleasantry consists in romping, raised above those of the former, in proporhe snatches kisses by surprise, puts his tion to his advantages, Scripture and revelahands in our necks, tears our fans, robs us
tion. If I had a mind to it, I could not at of ribands, forces letters out of our hands, present talk of any thing else; therefore I looks into any of our papers, and a thou- shall translate a passage in the one, and sand other rudenesses. Now what I will transcribe a paragraph out of the other, for desire of you is, to acquaint him, by print- the speculation of this day. Cicero tells us, * ing this, that if he does not marry one of that Plato reports Socrates, upon receiving us very suddenly, we have all agreed, the his sentence, to have spoken to his judges next time he pretends to be merry, to in the following manner: affront him, and use him like a clown as
| “I have great hopes, O my judges, that he is. In the name of the sisterhood I take it is infinitely to my advantage that I am my leave of you, and am, as they all are, sent to death: for it must of necessity be, your constant reader and well-wisher.'
that one of these two things must be the
consequence. Death must take away all "MR. SPECTATOR, -I and several others these senses, or convey me to another life. of your female readers have conformed our. If all sense is to be taken away, and death selves to your rules, even to our very dress. is no more than that profound sleep without There is not one of us but has reduced our dreams in which we are sometimes buried, outward petticoat to its ancient sizeable cir- oh, heavens! how desirable it is to die! cumference, though indeed we retain still a How many days do we know in life prequilted one underneath; which makes us ferable to such a state? But if it be true not altogether unconformable to the fashion; that death is but a passage to places which but it is on condition Mr. Spectator extends they who lived before us do now inhabit, not his censure too far. But we find you how much still happier is it to go from men secretly approve our practice, by imi- those who call themselves judges to appear tating our pyramidical form. The skirt of before those who are really such; before your fashionable coats forms as large a cir- Minos, Rhadamanthus, Æacus, and Tripcumference as our petticoats; as these are set out with whalebone, so are those with
• Tusculan. Quæstion. lib. 1.
tolemus, and to meet inen who have lived | All that we admired and adored before as with justice and truth? Is this, do you great and magnificent, is obliterated or vanthink, no happy journey? Do you think it ished; and another form and face of things, nothing to speak with Orpheus, Musæus, plain, simple, and every where the same, Homer, and Hesiod? I would, indeed, suf- overspreads the whole earth. Where are fer many deaths to enjoy these things. With now the great empires of the world, and what particular delight should I talk to their great imperial cities? their pillars, Palamedes, Ajax, and others who like me trophies, and monuments of glory? show have suffered by the iniquity of their judges. me where they stood, read the inscription, I should examine the wisdom of that great tell me the victor's name. What remains, prince, who carried such mighty forces what impressions, what difference or disagainst Troy; and argue with Ulysses and tinction do you see in this mass of fire? Sisyphus upon difficult points, as I have in Rome itself, eternal Rome, the great city, conversation here, without being in danger the empress of the world, whose dominaof being condemned. But let not those tion and superstition, ancient and modern, among you who have pronounced me an make a great part of the history of the innocent man be afraid of death. No harm earth, what is become of her now?'She laid can arrive at a good man, whether dead or her foundations deep, and her palaces were living; his affairs are always under the strong and sumptuous. “She glorified herdirection of the gods; nor will I believe the self, and lived deliciously, and said in her fate which is allotted to me myself this day heart, I sit a queen, and shall see no sorto have arrived by chance; nor have I aught row;" But her hour is come, she is wiped to say either against my judges or accusers, away from the face of the earth, and buried but that they thought they did me an in- in everlasting oblivion. But it is not cities jury. But I detain you too long, it is only, and works of men's hands, but the time that I retire to death, and you to your everlasting hills, the mountains and rocks affairs of life; which of us has the better is of the earth are melted as wax before the known to the gods, but to no mortal man.' sun, and “their place is no where found.”
The divine Socrates is here represented Here stood the Alps, the load of the earth, in a figure worthy his great wisdom and that covered many countries, and reached philosophy, worthy the greatest mere man their arms from the ocean to the Black Sea; that ever breathed. But the modern dis- this huge mass of stone is softened and discourse is written upon a subject no less than solved as a tender cloud into rain. Here the dissolution of nature itself. Oh how stood the African mountains, and Atlas with glorious is the old age of that great man, his top above the clouds; there was frozen who has spent his time in such contempla-Caucasus, and Taurus, and Imaus, and the tions as has made this being, what only it mountains of Asia; and yonder towards the should be, an education for heaven! He north, stood the Riphæan hills clothed in has, according to the lights of reason and ice and snow. All these are vanished, revelation, which seemed to him clearest, dropt away as the snow upon their heads. traced the steps of Omnipotence. He has “Great and marvellous are thy works, just with a celestial ambition, as far as it is and true are thy ways, thou King of saints! consistent with humility and devotion, ex- Hallelujah." **
T. amined the ways of Providence, from the creation to the dissolution of the visible world. How pleasing must have been the
No. 147.] Saturday, August 18, 1711. speculation, to observe Nature and Providence move together, the physical and Pronunciatio est vocis, et vultus et gestus moderatio moral world march the same pace: to ob- cum venustate.
Tull. serve paradise and eternal spring the seat Good delivery is a graceful management of the voice, of innocence, troubled seasons and angry countenance, and gesture. skies the portion of wickedness and vice. "MR. SPECTATOR,—The well reading of When this admirable author has reviewed the Common Prayer is of so great imporall that has past, or is to come, which re- tance, and so much neglected, that I take lates to the habitable world, and run through the liberty to offer to your consideration the whole face of it, how could a guardian some particulars on that subject. And what angel, that had attended it through all its more worthy your observation than this? courses or changes, speak more emphati- A thing so public, and of so high consecally at the end of his charge, than does our quence. It is indeed wonderful, that the author when he makes, as it were, a funeral frequent exercise of it should not make the oration over this globe, looking to the point performers of that duty more expert in it. where it once stood ?
This inability, as I conceive, proceeds from Let us only, if you please, to take leave the little care that is taken of their reading, of this subject, reflect upon this occasion on while boys and at school, where, when they the vanity and transient glory of this habita- are got into Latin, they are looked upon as ble world. How by the force of one ele- above English, the reading of which is ment breaking loose upon the rest, all the lvarieties of nature, all the works of art, all * Burnet's Theory of the Earth, 1684. fol. Book NI the labours of men are reduced to nothing. Chap. 12. p. 110, 111.
wholly neglected, or at least read to very I to place the emphasis, and give the proper little purpose, without any due observations accent to each word, and how to vary the made to them of the proper accent and voice according to the nature of the senmanner of reading; by this means they have tence. There is certainly a very great difacquired such ill habits as will not easily be ference between the reading a prayer and removed. The only way that I know of to a Gazette, which I beg of you to inform a remedy this, is to propose some person of set of readers, who affect, forsooth, a cergreat ability that way as a pattern for them; tain gentleman-like familiarity of tone, and example being most effectual to convince mend the language as they go on, crying, the learned, as well as instruct the ignorant. | instead of pardoneth and absolveth,' par
You must know, sir, I have been a con- dons and absolves. These are often pretty stant frequenter of the service of the church classical scholars, and would think it an unof England for above these four years last pardonable sin. to read Virgil or Martial past, and until Sunday was seven-night with so little taste as they do divine service. never discovered to so great a degree, the “This indifferency seems to me to rise from excellency of the Common Prayer. When, the endeavour of avoiding the imputation being at St. James's Garlick-Hill church,* of cant, and the false notion of it. It will be I heard the service read so distinctly, so proper therefore to trace the original and emphatically, and so fervently, that it was signification of this word. “Cant” is, by next to an impossibility to be unattentive. some people, derived from one Andrew My eyes and my thoughts could not wander Cant, who, they say, was a Presbyterian as usual, but were confined to my prayers. minister in some illiterate part of Scotland, I then considered I addressed myself to the who by exercise and use had obtained the Almighty, and not to a beautiful face. And faculty, alias gift, of talking in the pulpit in when I reflected on my former perform-such a dialect, that it is said he was underances of that duty, I found I had run it over stood by none but his own congregation, and as a matter of form, in comparison to the not by all of them. Since master Cant's manner in which I then discharged it. My time, it has been understood in a larger mind was really affected, and fervent wishes sense, and signifies all sudden exclamations, accompanied my words. The Confession whinings, unusual tones, and in fine all praywas read with such a resigned humility, ing and preaching, like the unlearned of the the Absolution with such a comfortable au- Presbyterians. But I hope a proper elevathority, the Thanksgivings with such a re- tion of voice, a due emphasis and accent, ligious joy, as made me feel those affections are not to come within this description. So of the mind in a manner I never did before. that our readers may still be as unlike the To remedy therefore the grievance above Presbyterians as they please. The discomplained of, I humbly propose, that this senters (I mean such as I have heard,) do excellent reader, upon the next, and every indeed elevate their voices, but it is with annual assembly of the clergy of Sion-col- sudden jumps from the lower to the higher lege, and all other conventions, should read part of them; and that with so little sense prayers before them. ' For then those that or skill, that their elevation and cadence is are afraid of stretching their mouths, and bawling and muttering. They make use spoiling their soft voices, will learn to read of an emphasis, but so improperly, that it with clearness, loudness, and strength. / is often placed on some very insignificant Others that affect a rakish, negligent air, particle, as upon “if' or 'and.' Now if by folding their arms and lolling on their these improprieties have so great an effect books, will be taught a decent behaviour, on the people, as we see they have, how and comely erection of body. Those that great an influence would the service of our read so fast, as if impatient of their work, church, containing the best prayers that may learn to speak deliberately. There is ever were composed, and that in terms another sort of persons, whom I call Pin- most affecting, most humble, and most exdaric readers, as being confined to no setpressive of our wants, and dependence on measure; these pronounce five or six words the object of our worship, disposed in most with great deliberation, and the five or six proper order, and void of all confusion; subsequent ones with as great celerity: the what influence, I say, would these prayers first part of a sentence with a very exalted have, were they delivered with a due emvoice, and the latter part with a submissive phasis, and apposite rising and variation of one: sometimes again with one sort of a voice, the sentence concluded with a gentle tone, and immediately after with a very cadence, and in a word, with such an accent different one. These gentlemen will learn and turn of speech as is peculiar to prayer. of my admired reader an evenness of voice •As the matter of worship is now maand delivery, and all who are innocent of naged, in dissenting congregations, you find these affectations, but read with such an insignificant words and phrases raised by a indifferency as if they did not understand lively vehemence; in our own churches, the language, may then be informed of the the most exalted sense depreciated, by a art of reading movingly and fervently, how dispassionate indolence. I remember to
have heard Doctor
S e f say in his The rector of this parish at that time was Mr. Philip Stubbs, afterwards archdeacon of St. Alban's.
† Probably Dr. Smallridge.
pulpit, of the Common Prayer, that, at whatsoever any thing above mere necesleast, it was as perfect as any thing of hu- saries. man institution. If the gentlemen who err As we in England are a sober people, in this kind would please to recollect the and generally inclined rather to a certain many pleasantries they have read upon bashfulness of behaviour in public, it is those who recite good things with an ill amazing whence some fellows come whom grace, they would go on to think that what one meets with in this town; they do not at in that case is only ridiculous, in themselves all seem to be the growth of our island; the is impious. But leaving this to their own pert, the talkative, all such as have no reflections, I shall conclude this trouble sense, of the observation of others, are cerwith what Cæsar said upon the irregularity tainly of foreign extraction. As for my of tone in one who read before him. “Do part, I am as much surprised when I see a you read or sing? If you sing, you sing talkative Englishman, as I should be to see very ill."* Your most humble servant.' the Indian pine growing on one of our quick
T. set hedges. Where these creatures get sun
enough, to make them such lively animals
and dull men, is above my philosophy. No. 148.] Monday, August 20, 1711.
There are another kind of impertinents
which a man is perplexed with in mixed - Exempta juvat spinis e pluribus una. company, and those are your loud speakers, Hor. Lib. 2. Ep. ii. 212.
| These treat mankind as if we were all deaf; Better one thorn pluck'd out, than all remain. they do not express but declare themselves. My correspondents assure me that the
Many of these are guilty of this outrage out
of vanity, because they think all they say is enormities which they lately complained of,
well; or that they have their own persons and I published an account of, are so far:
| in such veneration, that they believe nofrom being amended, that new evils arise thing which concerns them can be insignievery day to interrupt their conversation, ficant to any body else. For these people's in contempt of my reproofs. My friend whol.
| sake, I have often lamented that we cannot writes from the coffee-house near the Tem
close our ears with as much ease as we can ple, informs me that the gentleman who
our eyes. It is very uneasy that we must constantly sings a voluntary in spite of the
necessarily be under persecution. Next to whole company, was more musical than
!, than these bawlers, is a troublesome creature ordinary after reading my paper; and has who comes with the air of your friend and not been contented with that, but has danced
your intimate, and that is your whisperer, up to the glass in the middle of the room, There is one of them at a coffee-house and practised minuet-steps to his own hum
which I myself frequent, who observing me ming. The incorrigible creature has gone
to be a man pretty well made for secrets, still farther, and in the open coffee-house, with one hand extended as leading a lady
gets by me, and with a whisper tells me
a lady I things which all the town knows. It is no in it, he has danced both French and coun
very hard matter to guess at the source of try-dances, and admonished his supposed this im pertinence, which is nothing else but partner by smiles and nods to hold up her
a method or mechanic art of being wise. head, and fall back, according to the re
You never see any frequent in it, whom you spective facings and evolutions of the dance. I can suppose to have any thing in the world Before this gentleman began this his exer
to do. These persons are worse than bawcise, he was pleased to clear his throat by llere:
lers, as much as a secret enemy is more dancoughing and spitting a full half hour; and
gerous than a declared one. I wish this my as soon as he struck up, he appealed to an
coffee-house friend would take this for an attorney's clerk in the room, whether he inti
| intimation, that I have not heard one word hit as he ought, Since you from death
he has told me for these several years; have saved me?' and then asked the young whereas he now thinks me the most trusty fellow (pointing to a chancery-bill under
repository of his secrets. The whisperers his arm,) whether that was an opera-score have a pleasant way of ending the close he carried or not? Without staying for an conversation with saving aloud. Do not answer, he fell into the exercise above-l you think so?' Then whisper again, and mentioned, and practised his airs to the full then aloud. But you know that person; house who were turned upon him, without then whisper again. The thing would be the least shame or repentance for his for well enough, if they whispered to keep the mer transgressions.
folly of what they say among friends; but, I am to the last degree at a loss what to
| alas, they do it to preserve the importance do with this young fellow, except I declare of their thoughts. “I am sure I could name him an outlaw, and pronounce it penal for you more than one person whom no man any one to speak to him in the said house living ever heard talk upon any subject in which he frequents, and direct that he be
nature, or ever saw in his whole life with a obliged to drink his tea and coffee without
book in his hand, that, I know not how, sugar, and not receive from any person
can whisper something like knowledge of
what has and does pass in the world: which • Si legis, cuntas: si cantas, male cantas. Tyou would think he learned from some fa