Imágenes de páginas
PDF
EPUB

is the most particular man on earth, about dress-the beau of his time-beau Rapid. You know, father, they always called you beau Rapid. I dare say he has had more suits of clothes in his house, than any man in England.

Miss Vor. An uncommon expensive whim.

Y. Rap. I don't think his fortune has suffered by i̟.

Miss Vor. (To Old Rapid.) Shall I have the honor of driving you?

O. Rap. Oh, madam, I can't think of giving you so much trouble as to drive me.

Miss Vor. My dear sir, I shall be uncommon happy.

O. Rap. Oh, madam! (Simpers and titters to his son, then takes Miss Vortex's hand, and trots off.)

Vor. We'll follow.

Y. Rap. If you please ;-not that I particularly like to follow.

Vor. I suppose, sir, now summer approaches, London begins to fill for the winter.

Y. Rap. Yes, sir.

Vor. Any thing new in high life? What is the present rage with ladies of fashion?

Y. Rap. Why, sir, as to the ladies-(Aside)-what shall I say?-Oh, the ladies, sir; why, heaven bless them, sir, theythey keep moving; but, to confess the truth, sir, my fashionable education has been very much neglected.

Vor. That's a pity.

Y. Rap. Very great pity, sir.

Vor. Suppose I become your preceptor?

Y. Rap. If you would be so kind, I would treasure any little short rule.

Vor. Why, there is a short rule necessary for every man of fashion to attend to.

Y. Rap. What is it?

Vor. Never to reflect.

Y. Rap. Never reflect! what, push on, keep moving! My dear sir, that's my way; suits me exactly.

Vor Then you must be known.

Y. Rap. To be sure; I'll give away thousands in charities. Vor. Charities! you would be forgot in a week. To be known, you must be mischievous; malice has a much better memory than gratitude. And, then, you must be gallant; are there no pretty girls whose acquaintance you would like the honor of.

(Enter Servant.) Servant. The carriage is ready.

Y. Rap.

So am I; come sir, four horses, I hope. Vor. No, sir.

Y. Rap. That's a great pity. Pray, sir, will you have the goodness to tell your coachman to drive like the old Harry. Vor. Sir, to oblige you.

Y. Rap. Sir, I'll be very much obliged to you.

(Enter Waiter.)

Waiter. Your clothes are come, sir.

Y. Rap. That's lucky.

Vor. Then I'll wait for you.

Y. Rap. Wait for me! nobody need wait for me; I'll be with you in a crack. Do you push on; I'll keep moving; I'll take care nobody waits for me. (Exeunt severally.)

Scene 3.

(Enter Old and Young Rapid, Vortex, and Miss Vortex.) Miss Vor. Welcome to Bangalore Hall, gentlemen.

Y. Rap. Charming house! plenty of room! (Runs about, and looks at every thing.)

O. Rap. A very spacious apartment, indeed.

Vor. Yes, sir; but, I declare, I forget the dimensions of this

room.

O. Rap. Sir, if you please, I'll measure it—my cane is exactly a yard, good, honest measure; 'tis handy-and that mark is the half yard, and—

Y. Rap. (Overhears, and snatches the cane from him.) Confound it! the pictures, father-look at the pictures; (pointing with the cane;) did you ever see such charming-

Miss Vor. Do you like pictures?

Y. Rap. Exceedingly, ma'am ; but I should like them a great deal better, if they just moved a little.

Miss Vor. Ha! ha! I must retire to dress: till dinner, gentlemen, adieu. (Exit.)

Y. Rap. (To his father.) Zounds! you'll ruin every thing! can't you keep the tailor under.

Vor. Your son seems rather impatient.

0. Rap. Very, sir,-always was. I remember a certain duke

Y. Rap. That's right, lay the scene high; push the duke; push him as far as he'll go.

O. Rap. I will, I will. I remember a certain duke used to say, “Mr. Rapid, your son is as sharp as a needle."

Y. Rap. At it again!

O. Rap. As a needle

Y. Rap. (Interrupting him.) Is true to the pole. As a needle is true to the pole, says the duke, so will your son, says the duke, be to every thing spirited and fashionable, says the duke. Am I always to be tortured with your infernal needles? (Aside to Old, Rapid.)

Vor. Now to sound them. (Aside.) I hear, gentlemen, your business in this part of the country, is with Sir Hubert Stanley, respecting some money transactions.

O. Rap. 'Tis a secret, sir.

Vor. Oh, no-the baronet avows his wish to sell his estate. O. Rap. Oh! that alters the case.

Vor. I think that it would be a desirable purchase for you-I should be happy in such neighbors-and if you should want forty or fifty thousand, ready money, I'll supply it with pleasure. O. Rap. Oh, sir, how kind! If my son wishes to purchase, I would rather leave it entirely to him.

Y. Rap. And I would rather leave it entirely to you. Vor. Very well, I'll propose for it. (Aside.) There is a very desirable borough interest; then you could sit in parlia

ment.

Y. Rap. I in parliament ? ha! ha!

O. Rap. No! that would be a botch.

Y. Rap. No, no; I was once in the gallery-crammed in -no moving-expected to hear the great guns-up got a little fellow, nobody knew who, gave us a three hours' speech-I got deuced fidgetty-the house called for the question, I joined the cry" the question, the question!" says I-a member spied me-cleared the gallery--got hustled by my brother spectators -obliged to scud-oh! it would never do for me.

Vor. But you must learn patience.

Y. Rap. Then make me speaker-if that wouldn't teach me patience, nothing would.

Vor. Do you dislike, sir, parliamentary eloquence?

O. Rap. Sir, I never heard one of your real, downright parliamentary speeches, in my life-never. (Yawns.)

Y. Rap. By your yawning, I should think you had heard a great many.

Vor. Oh, how lucky! at last I shall get my dear speech spoken. Sir, I am a member, and I mean to

[ocr errors]

Y. Rap. Keep moving.

Vor. Why, I mean to speak, I assure you; and—
Y. Rap. Push on, then.

Vor. What, speak my speech? That I will-I'll speak it.
Y. Rap. Oh, the mischief! don't yawn so.

Rapid.)

O. Rap. I never get a comfortable nap, never!

(To Old

Y. Rap. You have a very good chance now-confound all speeches-oh! (Aside.)

Vor. Pray, be seated. (They sit on each side Vortex.) Now we'll suppose that the chair. (Pointing to a chair.)

O. Rap. Suppose it the chair! why, it is a chair, aint it?
Vor. Pshaw! I mean-

Y. Rap. He knows what you mean-'tis his humor.
Vor. Oh, he's witty!

Y. Rap. Oh! remarkably brilliant indeed. (Significantly, to his father.)

Vor. What, are you a wit, sir?

O. Rap. A what? yes, I am-I am a wit.

Vor. Well, now I'll begin. Oh, what a delicious moment! The house, when they approve, cry, "hear him, hear him!" I only give you a hint, in case any thing should strike.

Y. Rap. Push on. I can never stand it. (Aside.)

Vor. Now I shall charm them. (Addresses the chair.) "Sir, had I met your eye at an earlier hour, I should not have blinked the present question, but having caught what has fallen from the opposite side, I shall scout the idea of going over the usual ground." What! no applause yet? (Aside.-During this time, Old Rapid has fallen asleep, and Young Rapid, after showing great fretfulness and impatience, runs to the back scene, throws up the window, and looks out.) "But I shall proceed, and, I trust, without interruption." (Turns round and sees Old Rapid asleep.) Upon my soul, this is--what do you mean, sir? (Old Rapid awakes.)

O. Rap. What's the matter? Hear him! hear him! Vor. Pray, sir, don't you blush? (Sees Young Rapid at the window.) What the deuce!

Y. Rap. (Looking round.) Hear him! hear him!
Vor. By the soul of Cicero, 'tis too much.

O. Rap. Oh, Neddy, for shame of yourself to fall asleep! I mean, to look out of the window. I am very sorry, sir, any thing should go across the grain. I say, Ned, smooth him down. (Aside.)

Y. Rap. I will, I will; but what shall I say? (Aside.) The fact is, sir, I heard a cry of fire-upon-the-the-the water, and

Vor. Well, but do you wish to hear the end of my speech? Y. Rap. Upon my honor, I do.

Vor. Then we'll only suppose this little interruption a message from the lords, or something of that sort. (They sit, Young Rapid fretful.) Where did I leave off?

Y. Rap. Oh! I recollect; at, "I therefore briefly conclude with moving-an adjournment." (Rising.)

Vor. Nonsense! no such thing. (Putting him down in the chair.) Oh, I remember! "I shall therefore proceed, and I trust without interruption"

[blocks in formation]

(Enter Servant.)

Dinner's on the table, sir.

Get out of the room, you villain !- "Without inter

Ser. I say, sir—

Y. Rap. Hear him! hear him!
Ser. Dinner is waiting.

Y. Rap. (Jumping up.)

--

Dinner waiting! Come along, sir.

Vor. Never mind the dinner.
Y. Rap. But I like it smoking.

O. Rap. So do I: be it ever so little, let me have it hot.
Vor. Won't you hear my speech?

Y. Rap. To be sure we will-but now to dinner. Come, we'll move together. Capital speech! Push on, sir. Come along, dad. Push him on, dad. (Exeunt, forcing Vortex out.)

XXVII. FROM FISH OUT OF WATER.-Lunn.

SIR GEORGE COURTLEY-ALDERMAN GAYFARE-CHARLES GAYFARE STEWARD-SAM SAVORY-FOOTMAN-ELLEN COURT

LEY-LUCY.

Scene 1.-The Ante-room in the House of Sir George Courtleyon one side a fire place, with fire; on the other side, a writing table, with pens, ink, and paper-a door leading to an Inner Apartment.

Steward. (Speaking without.) Don't tell me, sir; say that I'm not at home; I shall not be at home these two hours.

« AnteriorContinuar »