Swipes. Has she, good soul, has she? You know I come in, then, in right of my wife.

Cur. And I in my own right; and this is no doubt the reason why we have been called to hear the reading of the will. Squire Drawl knows how things should be done, though he is as air-tight as your beer barrels. But here comes the young reprobate, he must be present, as a matter of course, you know. (Enter Frank Millington.)—Your servant, young gentleman. So your benefactress has left you, at last.

Swipes. It is a painful thing to part with old and good friends, Mr. Millington.

Frank. It is so, sir; but I could bear her loss better, had I not so often been ungrateful for her kindness. She was my only friend, and I knew not her value.

Cur. It is too late to repent, Master Millington. You will now have a chance to earn your own bread

Swipes. Ay, by the sweat of your brow, as better people are obliged to. You would make a fine brewer's boy, if you were not too old.

Cur. Ay, or a saddler's lackey, if held with a tight rein.

Frank. Gentlemen, your remarks imply that my aunt has treated me as I deserved. I am above your insults, and only hope you will bear your fortune as modestly as I shall mine submissively. I shall retire. (Going, he meets the Squire.) Squire. Stop, stop, young man. We must have your pres

ence.

Good morning, gentlemen; you are early on the ground. Cur. I hope the squire is well, to-day.

Squire. Pretty comfortable, for an invalid.

Swipes. I trust the damp air has not affected your lungs again.

Squire. No, I believe not; you know I never hurry. "Slow and sure," is my maxim. Well, since the heirs at law are all convened, I shall proceed to open the last will and testa. ment of your deceased relative, according to law.

Swipes. (While he is breaking the seal.) It is a trying scene, to leave all one's possessions, squire, in this manner.

Cur. It really makes me feel melancholy, when I look round and see every thing but the venerable owner of these goods. Well did the preacher say, "all is vanity."

Squire. Please to be seated, gentlemen. (All sit.—The Squire, having put on his spectacles, begins to read, in a drawling, nasal tone.) "Imprimis-Whereas, my nephew, Francis Millington, by his disobedience, and ungrateful conduct, has

shown himself unworthy of my bounty, and incapable of man. aging my large estate, I do hereby give and bequeath all my houses, farms, stocks, bonds, moneys, and property, both per sonal and real, to my dear cousins, Samuel Swipes, of Maltstreet, brewer, and Christopher Currie, of Fly-court, saddler”(Squire takes off his spectacles, to wipe them.)

Swipes. (Takes out his handkerchief, and attempts to snivel.) Generous creature! Kind soul! I always loved her.

Cur. She was good, she was kind. She was in her right mind. Brother Swipes, when we divide, I think I shall take the mansion-house.

Swipes. Not so fast, if you please, Mr. Currie. My wife has long had her eye upon that, and must have it. (Both rise.)

Cur. There will be two words to that bargain, Mr. Swipes. And, besides, I ought to have the first choice. Did I not lend her a new chaise every time she wished to ride? and who knows what influence

Swipes. Am I not named first in her will? and did I not furnish her with my best small beer, for more than six months? and who knows

Frank. Gentlemen, I must leave you. (Going.)

Squire. (Who has been leisurely wiping his spectacles, again puts them on, and with his calm, nasal twang, calls out,) Pray, gentlemen, keep your seats. I have not done yet. (All sit.) Let me see, where was I?-Ay, "All my property, both personal and real, to my dear cousins, Samuel Swipes, of Maltstreet, brewer,”

Swipes. Yes!

Squire." And Christopher Currie, Fly-court, saddler❞— Cur. Yes!

Squire. "To have and to hold in trust, for the sole and exclusive benefit of my nephew, Francis Millington, until he shall have attained to a lawful age, by which time I hope he will have so far reformed his evil habits, as that he may safely be entrusted with the large fortune which I hereby bequeath to him."

Swipes. What's all this? You don't mean that we are humbugged? In trust! how does that appear? Where is it? Squire. (Pointing to the parchment.) There-in two words of as good old English as I ever penned.

Cur. Pretty well, too, Mr. Squire, if we must be sent for to be made a laughing-stock of. She shall pay for every ride she has had out of my chaise, I promise you.

Swipes. And for every drop of my beer. Fine times! if

two sober, hard-working citizens, are to be brought here to be made the sport of a graceless profligate. But we will manage his property for him, Mr. Currie; we will make him feel that trustees are not to be trifled with.

Cur. That will we.

Squire. Not so fast, gentlemen, for the instrument is dated three years ago, and the young gentleman must already be of age, and able to take care of himself. Is it no so, Francis? Frank. It is, your worship.

Squire. Then, gentlemen, having attended the breaking of this seal, according to law, you are released from any further trouble in the premises. (Exeunt.)

VII. FROM THE BASHFUL MAN.

SIR THOMAS FRIENDLY-BLUSHINGTON-FRANK-GYP-EVANS

NICHOLAS LADY FRIENDLY-DINAH.

Scene 1.-Library in Friendly Hall. At the back, a handsome rosewood table, on which is a head of Hercules and an elegant ink-stand; over that, on a sort of shelf, a superb edition of Xenophon, în sixteen volumes.

(Enter Sir Thomas and Lady Friendly.)

Lady Friendly. But why not receive Mr. Blushington in the great drawing-room, Sir Thomas?

Sir Thomas. There's my management, my lady! Being a scholar, Mr. Blushington will feel, at once, the delicacy of the compliment I pay him, by first introducing him to the library; besides, the apparent number of books he will see here, will give him a high opinion of my erudition; there's management again! Wouldn't any one think, to look at it, that was really a fine edition of Xenophon, in folio? Instead of which, it's merely a deal-board, covered with some gilded leather, for the maids to put their pails and brushes behind. All my contrivance! But, mum! here he comes. Oh! this plaguy gout!→ But I must get up and receive him.

(Enter Blushington, pushed on by Gyp, preceded by Evans, and followed by Nick and servants.)

Evans. Mr. Blushington, Sir Thomas.

Blushington. Don't leave me, Gyp; the awful moment has arrived.

Sir T. Mr. Blushington, I rejoice to meet you.

Gyp. Fifth position, sir. (Blushington, in endeavoring to put himself into an attitude, stumbles and pitches on Sir Tho mas's gouty foot.) Oh! confound the fellow, he's murdered me. (Aside.)

Blush. You infernal scoundrel, Gyp! you've made me tread Sir Thomas's toe off. My dear Sir Thomas, I beg ten thousand pardons; but-but

Sir T. No apologies, I beg: these little accidents will happen. It's over now: yes, as we scholars say, it's gone in toto. Gyp. All's right, sir!-Now for the speech. (Apart to Blushington.)

Blush. (Apart to Gyp.) My tongue sticks to my I couldn't utter a syllable to save my life.

throat :

Sir T. Allow me to introduce you to Lady Friendly. Lady Friendly, Mr. Blushington

Blush. Happy-proud-dinner-sorry-acquaintanceSir T. Ay, ay; well thought of. Go, varlets, and hurry the dinner. No giggling, hussies!-Away! (Exeunt Nick and Servants.) Evans, take Mr. Blushington's man into the pantry, and make him welcome.

Blush. Oh dear! no; no occasion for that, Sir Thomas. Lord bless me! don't leave me, Gyp. What shall I do by myself, if they take my only prop away. (Aside to Gyp.) Gyp. Courage, sir! you get on famously. I must go, you see-can't help it. (Aside to Blushington.) Poor fellow! Evans. This way, if you please, sir. (Exeunt Gyp and Evans.)

Blush. What will become of me! without guide or rudder ! I'm lost!

Sir T. Take a chair, Mr. Blushington: you seem warm. Blush. (Aside.) I'm frying!

Sir T. You perceive, Mr. Blushington, we're like youdabble in literature a little; smack of the classics a bit!

Blush. The classics: I can launch out here; I'm on safe ground. (Aside.) Yes, Sir Thomas-certainly-by all means.

Sir T. Delightful study. I fagged hard, hard, at college, Mr. Blushington; and was, I can assure you, very near being elected senior wrangler.

Blush. I don't doubt it. I chafe like a bull. (Aside.)

Lady F. We are all great readers, Mr. Blushington; my daughter Dinah, in particular; before she was twelve years old, she had gone twice through "The Complete Housewife," and

"The Whole Duty of Man." You'll suit one another to a T, in that respect.

Blush. Hum! Oh, yes, certainly, my lady, by all means; though I can't say I've been through "The Whole Duty of Man," and "The Complete Housewife." They're rather ignorant: I must astonish them a little bit, with the extent of my learning. I begin to get more courage than I thought for. Yes, I'll surprise them now. (Aside.) Bless me, that's a very remarkable edition of Xenophon there-sixteen volumes folio; allow me to examine it. (Getting up.)

Sir T. (Rising.) Stop, stop, my dear Mr. Blushington, I—

Blush. Oh! Sir Thomas, I couldn't think of giving you the trouble. (Goes, as he supposes, to lay hold of one of the vol umes, when the board falls down on the slab, breaks the Hercules's head, and upsets the ink-stand.) Hey! what! booksboards! what have I done? what shall I do? I beg ten thousand pardons, Sir Thomas; upon my word, I didn't mean to do it. If I'd known it had only been sham-bless me! here's all the ink down too. Oh dear! oh dear! what an accident.

Lady F. I thought what would come of your fine manage. ment, Sir Thomas. Where's a cloth? the table will be spoiled! Blush. Here's a cloth, my lady. (Takes his white cambric handkerchief, and begins wiping up the ink.) Bless me! I'm inking my handkerchief. (Folds up the handkerchief, the inky part inside, and puts it in his pocket.) Excuse my awkwardness, my lady: I-I-oh dear! that I could but run away. If Gyp was but here!

(Enter Evans.)

Evans. Dinner's on table, Sir Thomas.
Blush. Here's a relief, then.

I'm in a furnace.

Sir T. I won't have another word on the subject; there's no harm done; only the cover taken off the books, Hercules's head broke, and Mr. Blushington's handkerchief stained. You've received no material contusion yourself, I hope, my dear young friend?

Blush. Oh dear, no! I'm in no material confusion at all: quite cool, I assure you. I wish I could jump out of the window. Mount Vesuvius is an ice-house, to this. (Aside.) Sir T. Come along, then, and I'll introduce you at once to Dinah and dinner.

Blush. More trials! what shall I have to go through next? Heaven preserve me! Lady Friendly, allow me to offer my