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ever, they have now equipped a numerous fleet, and are just preparing to make a descent upon us.
Gulliver's Travels, part i. cb, iv, As Francis the First was one winterly night warming himself over the embers of a wood fire, and talking with his first minister of sundry things for the good of the state--it would not be amiss, said the king, stirring up the'embers with his cane, if this good understanding betwixt ourselves and Switzerland was a little strengthened. There is no end, sire, r plied the minister, in giving money to these people--they would swallow up the treasury of France. -Poo, poo! answered the king--there are more ways, Monsieur le Premier, of bribing states besides that of giving money-I'll pay
Switzerland the honour of standing godfather to my next child.--Your majesty, said the minister, in so doing, would have all the grammarians in Europe upon your back : Switzerland, as a republic, being a female, can in no construction be godfather... She may be godmother, replied Francis hastilyso announce my intentions by a courier to-morrow morning
I am astonished, said Francis the First, (that day fortnight) speaking to his minister as he entered the closet, that we have had no answer from Switzerland.-Sire, I wait upon you this moment, said Mons. le Premier, to lay before you my dispatches upon that business.--They take it kindly, said the king.They do, sire, replied the minister, and
have the highest sense of the honour your majesty has done them—but the republic, as godmother, claims her right in this case of naming the child,
In all reason, quoch the king-she will christen him Francis, or Henry, or Louis, or some name that she knows will be agreeable to us.--Your majesty is deceived, replied the minister. I have this hour received a dispatch froin our resident, with a determination upon that point also. And what name has the republic fixed upon
for the Dauphin? Shadrach, Mesech, Abed-nego, replied the minister.—By Saint Peter's girdle, I will have nothing to do with the Swiss, cried Francis the First, pulling up his brecches, and walking hastily across the floor.
Your majesty, replicd the minister calmly, cannot bring yourself off.
We'll pay them in moncy, said the king.
Sire, there are not sixty thousand crowns in the treasury, answered the minister.-I'll pawn the best jewel in my crown, quoth Francis the First.
Your honour stands pawned already in this matter, answered Monsieur le Prernier. Then, Monsieur le Premier, said the king, by we'll go to war with 'em.
STERNE. Tristrum Sbandy, vol. ir'. cb, xxi.
* ) ده ر
A GENEALOGIST sets forth to a prince that he is descended in a direct line from a count, whose kindred, three or four hundred years ago, had
made a family compact with a house, the memory of
f which is extinguished. That house had some distant claim to a province, the last proprietor of which died of an apoplexy. The prince and his council instantly resolve that this province belongs to him of divine right. The province, which is some hundred leagues from him, protests that it
not so much as know him, that it is not disposed to be governed by him, that before pre
scribing laws to them, their consent at least was necessary :
ba reach the prince's ears; it is insisted on that his right is incontestible. He instantly picks up a multitude, who have nothing to do and nothing to lose,
ose, clothes them with coarse blue cloth; puts on them hats bound with coarse white worsted; makes them turn to the right and left; and thus marches away with thein to glory.
Other princes, on this armament, take part in it to the best of their ability, and soon cover a small extent of country with inore hireling murderers, than Gengis Kan, Tamerlane and Bajazer had at their heels.
People at no small distance, on hearing that fighting is going forward, and that if they would make one, there are five or six sous a day for them, immediately divide into two bands, like reapers, and
go and sell their services to the best bidder. These multitudes furiously butcher one another, not only without having any concern in the quarrel, but without so much as knowing what it is
Sometimes five or six powers are engaged, three against iliree, two against four, sometimes even one against five, all equally detesting one another, and friends and foes by turns, agreeing only in one thing, to all the mischief possible.
Pbilosopb. Dict. Art. War. Among the genii who preside over the empires of the wo:ld, Ithuriel is one of the first rank, and is appointed for the province of Upper Asia. One morning he descended at the house of Babouc, and said unto him-Babouc,' the follies and excesses of the Persians have drawn down our wrath. Yesterday was held an assembly of the genii of Upper Asia, to determine if they should chastise Persepolis or destroy it. Go into that city, examine every thing, and then return and give me a faithful account of it : upon thy report I will resolve whether to correct the city or exterminate it.
Babouc mounted his camel, and departed with his servants. After some days he met the Persian army near the plains of Senaar, who were on the point of giving battle to the Indian army. He accosted a soldier whom he found at a distance from the camp, and asked him the cause of the war. By all the gods, said the soldier, I know nothing of the matter. It is not my business. My trade is to kill and be killed, to get my bread. It matters not whom I serve, But if you would know why we fight even ask my captain.
Babouc, having made the soldier a small present, entered the camp. He soon got acquainted with the captain, and asked him the occasion of the
war. How can you imagine that I should know it, said the captain, or what signifies the occasion of of it to me. I live two hundred leagues from Persepolis; I hear that war is declared, Igo, according to our custom, to seek preferment or death. But do not your comrades know more of it than you ? said Babouc.-Not one of them, replied the officer ; our chief satrap only knows exactly the reason why we cut each others throats.
Babouc amazed, introduced himself to the generals, and became familiar with them. At last one of them informed hiin, that the war, which . for twenty years had laid Asia waste, arose originally from a quarrel between an eunuch of one of the wives of the king of Persia and an officer of the customs of the king of India.
The dispute was about a duty which amounted to alınost the thirtieth part of a darique. The prime minister of the Indies, and ours, with great dignity maintained the interests of their respective masters; the dispute grew warm; they took the field with an army of a million of soldiers on both sides ; that army must be yearly recruited with more than four hundred thousand men ; murders, burnings, ruin and devastation increase ; the universe suffers, and the mischief continues. Our first minister, and the minister of the Indies, often protest, that they act only for the good of mankind, and at every protestation some city is destroyed, or some province ravaged.
Babouc, cb. i. 2' 2