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He doth nothing against his will, yet maintains he doth what he would not. He wavers and doubteth, yet obtains.


He is often tossed and shaken, yet is as mount Sion; he is a serpent and a dove; a lamb and a lion; a reed and a cedar. He is sometimes so troubled, that he thinks nothing to be true in religion; yet if he did think so, he could not at all be troubled. He thinks sometimes that God hath no mercy for him, yet resolves to die in the pursuit of it. He believes, like Abraham, against hope, and though he cannot answer God's logic, yet, with the woman of Canaan, he hopes to prevail with the rhetoric of importunity.


He wrestles, and yet prevails; and though yielding himself unworthy of the least blessing he enjoys, yet, Jacob-like, he will not let him go without a new blessing. He sometimes thinks himself to have no grace at all, and yet how poor and afflicted soever he be besides, he would not change conditions with the most prosperous man under heaven, that is a manifest worldling.


He thinks sometimes that the ordinances of God do him no good, yet he would rather part with his life than be deprived of them.


He was born dead; yet so that it had been murder After he began

for any to have taken his life away.

to live, he was ever dying.


And though he hath an eternal life begun in him, yet he makes account he hath a death to pass through.


He counts self-murder a heinous sin, yet is ever busied in crucifying the flesh, and in putting to death his earthly members; not doubting but there will come a time of glory, when he shall be esteemed precious in the sight of the great God of heaven and earth, appearing with boldness at his throne, and asking anything he needs, being endued with humility, by acknowledging his great crimes and offences, and that he deserveth nothing but severe punishment.


He believes his soul and body shall be as full of glory as them that have more; and no more full than theirs that have less.


He lives invisible to those that see him, and those that know him best do but guess at him; yet those many times judge more truly of him than he doth of himself.


The world will sometimes account him a saint, when God accounteth him a hypocrite; and afterwards, when the world branded him for an hypocrite, then God owned him for a saint.


His death makes not an end of him. His soul which was put into his body, is not to be perfected without his body; yet his soul is more happy when it is separated from his body, than when it was joined unto it: And his body, though torn in pieces, burnt to ashes, ground to powder, turned to rottenness, shall be no loser.


His Advocate, his Surety shall be his Judge; his mortal part shall become immortal; and what was sown in corruption and defilement shall be raised in incorruption and glory; and a finite creature shall possess an infinite happiness. Glory be to God.



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