If aught possess thee from me, it is dross,
Usurping ivy, brier, or idle 12 moss;

Who, all for want of pruning, with intrusion

Infect thy sap, and live on thy confusion.

Ant. S. [Aside.] To me she speaks; she means me for

her theme:

What, was I married to her in my dream?

Or sleep I now, and think I hear all this?

What error drives our eyes and ears amiss?
Until I know this sure uncertainty,

I'll entertain the offer'd fallacy.

Luc. Dromio, go bid the servants spread for dinner.
Dro. S. O, for my beads! I cross me for a sinner.
This is the fairy land; -O spite of spites! -
We talk with none but goblins, elves, and sprites :
If we obey them not, this will ensue,
They'll suck our breath, or pinch us black and blue.

Luc. Why pratest thou to thyself, and answer'st not?
Dromio, thou drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou sot!

Dro. S. I am transformèd, master, am I not?
Ant. S. I think thou art in mind, and so am I.
Dro. S. Nay, master, both in mind and in my shape.
Ant. S. Thou hast thine own form.

Dro. S.

No, I am an ape.

Luc. If thou art changed to aught, 'tis to an ass.

Dro. S. 'Tis true; she rides me, and I long for grass.

'Tis so, I am an ass; else it could never be

But I should know her as well as she knows me.

Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a fool,

To put the finger in the eye and weep,

Whilst man and master laugh my woes to scorn.
Come, sir, to dinner. Dromio, keep the gate. -

12 Idle is unfruitful or useless; as in Othello, i. 3: "Of antres vast and deserts idle."

Husband, I'll dine above with you to-day,

And shrive you

13 of a thousand idle pranks. Sirrah, if any ask you for your master,

Say he dines forth, and let no creature enter.

Come, sister. Dromio, play the porter well.

Ant. S. [Aside.] Am I in Earth, in Heaven, or in Hell? Sleeping or waking? mad or well-advised?

Known unto these, and to myself disguised!

I'll say as they say, and perséver so,

And in this mist at all adventures go.

Dro. S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate?
Adr. Ay;

And let none enter, lest I break your pate.

Luc. Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too late.

[Exeunt.

ACT III.

SCENE I. Before the House of ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus.

Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, DROMIO of Ephesus, ANGELO, and BALTHAZAR.

Ant. E. Good Signior Angelo, you must excuse us all; My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours: Say that I linger'd with you at your shop To see the making of her carcanet,1 And that to-morrow you will bring it home. But here's a villain that would face me down

He met me on the mart, and that I beat him,2

18" Shrive you" is confess you, or call on you to confess. To impose penance is one part of a confessor's office.

1 A carcanet is a necklace; later in the play it is called a chain.

2 "Would convince me that he met me on the mart, and that I beat him," is the meaning.

And charged him with a thousand marks in gold,

And that I did deny my wife and house. —

Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this?

Dro. E. Say what you will, sir, but I know what I know;
That you beat me at the mart, I have your hand to show:
If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave were ink,
Your own handwriting would tell you what I think.

Ant. E. I think thou art an ass.
Dro. E.

Marry, so it doth appear

By the wrongs I suffer and the blows I bear.

I should kick, being kick'd; and, being at that pass,
You would keep from my heels, and beware of an ass.
Ant. E. You are sad, Signior Balthazar: pray God our
cheer

May answer my good will and your good welcome here!
Bal. I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your welcome dear.
Ant. E. O, Signior Balthazar, either at flesh or fish,
A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty dish.

Bal. Good meat, sir, is common; that every churl affords. Ant. E. And welcome more common; for that's nothing but words.

Bal. Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast. Ant. E. Ay, to a niggardly host and more sparing guest : But though my cates 4 be mean, take them in good part; Better cheer may you have, but not with better heart. But, soft! 5 my door is lock'd. - Go bid them let us in. Dro. E. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian, Jin!

3 Marry was much used as a general intensive, meaning indeed, verily, to be sure. It grew into use from a custom of swearing or affirming by the Virgin Mary; much the same as heracle and edepol in Latin; the latter being originally an oath by Castor and Pollux.

4 Cates is an old form for cakes, but sometimes used, as here, in the wider sense of viands or food, especially of dainties.

5 Soft! was a common exclamative meaning about the same as stay, hold, or not too fast.

Dro. S. [Within.] Mome, malt-horse, capon, coxcomb, idiot, patch !6

Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the hatch.

Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st for such

store,

When one is one too many? Go get thee from the door. Dro. E. What patch is made our porter? My master

stays in the street.

Dro. S. [Within.] Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch cold on's feet.

Ant. E. Who talks within there? ho, open the door! Dro. S. [Within.] Right, sir; I'll tell you when, an you'll tell me wherefore.

Ant. E. Wherefore! for my dinner: I have not dined to-day.

Dro. S. [Within.] Nor to-day here you must not; come again when you may.

Ant. E. What art thou that keep'st me out from the house I owe? 7

Dro. S. [Within.] The porter for this time, and my name is Dromio.

Dro. E. O villain, thou hast stol'n both mine office and

my name !

The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame.

If thou hadst been Dromio to-day in my place,

Thou wouldst have changed thy face for a name, or thy name for a face.

6 All these are old terms of abuse, forming a part of that extensive vocabulary called Billingsgate, which was the name of a place in London where loud and coarse women sold fish. Mome, of uncertain origin, comes pretty near blockhead. Malt-horse is a brewer's horse, a dull, dumpish beast. Capon is a rooster emasculated, and fatted for the table. Patch, applied to the "allowed Fool," on account of motley or patchwork dress, came to be used of a natural fool.

Owe, a shortened form of owen, is own or possess.

Luce. [Within.] What a coil is there! Dromio, who

Have at you with a proverb: Shall I set in my staff?
Luce. [Within.] Have at you with another;

When? can you tell?

Dro. S. [Within.] If thy name be call'd Luce,

thou hast answer'd him well.9

that's,

Luce,

Ant. E. Do you hear, you minion? you'll let us in, I

hope?

Luce. [Within.] I thought to have ask'd you."

Dro. S. [Within.]

And you said no.

Dro. E. So, come, help! Well struck! there was blow

for blow.

Ant. E. Thou baggage, let me in.

Luce. [Within.]

Let him knock till it ache.

Dro. E. Master, knock the door hard.
Luce. [Within.]

Ant. E. You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat the door down. Luce. [Within.] What needs all that, and a pair of stocks 10 in the town?

Adr. [Within.] Who is that at the door that keeps all this noise?

Dro. S. [Within.] By my troth, your town is troubled with unruly boys.

8 Coil is hubbub, rumpus, fuss; often so used in the Poet's time.

9 Luce is an old name for the fish called pike; which seems to be the turning-point of the quibble here. Perhaps the sense of thrusting with a pike is implied, as Luce has aptly met proverb with proverb.

10 "A pair of stocks" was a machine in which certain offenders were fastened by the ankles, for punishment; the offender being forced to sit with his legs in a horizontal position.