On this fair morn, a spider who had set, With cautious art, upon a spangled thorn, "Good morrow, dear Miss Fly," quoth gallant Grim. "Good morrow, sir," replied Miss Fly to him. "Walk in, miss, pray, and see what I'm about." "I'm much obliged t' ye, sir," Miss Fly rejoined. "My eyes are both so very good, I find, That I can plainly see the whole without." "Fine weather, miss." "Yes, very fine," Quoth cautious Miss, "1 fear you'd like my pretty head so well, You'd keep it for yourself, sir, - who can tell?" Then let me squeeze your lovely hand, my dear, "Poh, poh, child, pray dismiss your idle dread: I would not hurt a hair of that sweet head Well, then, with one sweet kiss of friendship meet me." "La, sir," quoth Miss, with seeming artless tongue, I fear our salutation would be long : So loving, too, I fear that you would eat me." So saying, with a smile she left the rogue, SPECTACLES, OR HELPS TO READ. A CERTAIN artist-I've forgot his name— Or "helps to read," as, when they first were sold, WOLCOTT. Was writ upon his glaring sign in gold; And book produced, to see how they would fit : 66 These in my hand will better suit your eye." 66 No, but they do n't.". "Well, come, sir, if you please, Still somewhat more they magnify the letter; So odd a case, thought, sure the man is blind! 66 Pray, let me ask you - can you read at all?" And so he left the maker in a heat, BYROM. LODGINGS FOR SINGLE GENTLEMEN. WHO has e'er been in London, that overgrown place, Has seen, "lodgings to let, stare him full in the face. Some are good and let dearly: while some, 't is well known, Are so dear, and so bad, they are best let alone. Will Waddle, whose temper was studious and lonely, Hired lodgings that took single gentlemen only; But Will was so fat, he appeared like a tun, He entered his rooms, and to bed he retreated; Next night 't was the same!—and the next! and the next! His weakly condition was past all expression. In six months his acquaintance began much to doubt him; there's a guinea.” The doctor looked wise: "A slow fever," he said; Sudorifics in bed," exclaimed Will, "are humbugs! I've enough of them there, without paying for drugs!" Will kicked out the doctor: but when ill indeed, “Look ye, landlord, I think," argued Will with a grin, Quoth the landlord, "Till now, I ne'er had a dispute. -.. In airing your sheets, sir, my wife is no sloven; And your bed is immediately-over my oven.' "The oven ! says Will; says the host, "Why this passion? In that excellent bed died three people of fashion. Why so crusty, good sir?" "Zounds!" cried. Will in a taking, "Who would not be crusty, with half a year's baking? Will paid for his rooms:- cried the host with a sneer, 66 Well, I see you 've been going away half a year." Friend, we can 't well agree; yet no quarrel," Will said; "But I'd rather not perish, while you make your bread." COLMAN. THE FAT ACTOR AND THE RUSTIC CARDINAL WOLSEY was a man "Of an unbounded stomach," Shakspeare says, He would have owned that Wolsey's bulk ideal Which is, moreover, all alive and real. To visit every clime between the poles, Must not in this proceeding be mistaken; To see how money might be made, not spent. He found himself at Lille one afternoon; With sight of streams, and trees, and snowy fleeces, Until the moon began to shine; On which he gazed awhile, and then Pulled out his watch, and cried, "Past nine! He could n't gallop, trot or canter, (Those who had seen him would confess it,) he Marched well for one of such obesity. Eyeing his watch, and now his forehead mopping, He puffed and blew along the road, Afraid of meeting, more afraid of stopping; Returning from the town: "Tell me," he panted, in a thawing state, LOGIC. AN Eton stripling-training for the law, Returned, and passed the usual how-d' ye-do's, "Well, Tom, the road? what saw you worth discerning? How's all at college, Tom? what is 't you 're learning?' Learning?oh, logic, logic; not the shallow rules Of Lockes and Bacons, antiquated fools! But wits' and wranglers' logic; for, d'ye see, That an eel-pie's a pigeon; to deny it, Is to say black 's not black.". "Come, let's try it?"-"Well, sir; an eel-pie is a pie of fish.". Agreed." "Fish-pie may be a jack-pie."-"Well, well, proceed." "A jack-pie is a John-pie- and 't is done! For every John-pie must be a pie-John." (pigeon.) If merit such as thine met no reward: To show how much I logic love, in course I'll make thee master of a chestnut-horse." "A horse!" quoth Tom; "blood, pedigree, and paces' Oh, what a dash I'll cut at Epsom races!" Tom dreampt all night of boots and leather breeches, |